Carshopping

Is something I do not miss. I imagine this is how people feel when they hate dating and then they get married....anyway. Ever since finding Cassidy Jane Carbaby, my life has been significantly better.

Recently, I was reminded of this when Nicool posted on my wall to say that our facebook conversations are really funny, and I should look at them again. I did, and found this little gem:

• 

  10:39pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  i think you would really appreciate my story of my test drive today though

  it went like this

  ring ring! hello? hi johnathan, this is heather. do you want to go carshopping with me? 

  him: sure

  we drive over.

  dealer: hi do you want to take it for a drive?

   

  me: yes, i just want to look it over first. johnathan and i look at the engine, lights, etc. dealer: you want to go for a drive? me: yes please! we set out

  me: i want to go on the highway and also find some hills to take it on. dealer: ok sure, if you go right it'll take you to the I-15. me: dim memory of hearing abotu I-15 on the radio on the way home from school today.....

  we hit traffic immediately.

  the car hits a high of 30 mph.

  dealer: ok so let's take this exit and find some hills

  me: ok.... *remembering that what i heard about I-15 is that there was an accident and it was all kindsa backed up

  we exit

  dealer starts talking about his life story

  johnathan chimes in with his life story

  they become enthralled with each other

  i try to listen to engine sounds

  dealer encourages me to be careful and not rear-end anyone

  then goes on to tell johnathan his conversion story

  his story of coming to america from iran

  his political leanings

  his view of BYU
• 

  10:42pm

  Nicole Connor

  WHAT

  DOES HE KNOW FARSI
• 

  10:42pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  all about his family

  huh? like the language?
• 

  10:42pm

  Nicole Connor

  yes!
• 

  10:42pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  i dk maybe.....he had an accent and he's been here for 15 yrs
• 

  10:42pm

  Nicole Connor

  omgomgomgomgomgomgomgmogmogg
• 

  10:42pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  no more like 30 yrs
• 

  10:43pm

  Nicole Connor

  holy shiz love your life
• 

  10:43pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  ?

  nicool
• 

  10:43pm

  Nicole Connor

  I wish I couldve talked with him!!
• 

  10:43pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  you would've been just as bad as johnathan!

  i was trying to decide if i wanted to buy a car and they just wanted to talk about missionary experiences and their upraising

  *their respective upraisings

  anyyyyway
• 

  10:44pm

  Nicole Connor

  heather, I will not even try to deny that I wouldve been just as bad as jonathan. I wouldve talked with him allllll about whats going on in the middle east right now and also about farsi and tips he has abotu learning it
• 

  10:45pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  dealer directs me (in between his career shift from dentist to dealer and the story about the time he owned a porsche and got pulled over by like 6 cops) to a road which he promises is full of hills

  we find that it is under construction

  enter the under construction gods for their one line: YE SHALL NOT PASS

  dealer directs me to another road
• 

  10:46pm

  Nicole Connor

  AWESOME.
• 

  10:46pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  we go on that road and find that it goes up a teeny tiny hill and leads us straight to a dead end

  johnathan turns to me and says: "have you had enough hills for your liking?"

  i get a little confused. where did johnathan see a hill? i wonder. i smile complacently.

  dealer announces that he doesn't have much time bc he has to go pick up his kids

  (he has 5. one of them is 6'1 220 lbs and plays football for timpview.)
• 

  10:48pm

  Nicole Connor

  oh my
• 

  10:48pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  so we drive back to the lot

  and i ask if i can come back tomorrow

  and he says yes

  johnathan and i get in the car

  johnathan: so what did you think? me: i think i liked it, the engine looked pretty clean, and it ran pretty well from what i could see. but i do want to drive it faster and also on some real hills. i dk, what do you think?

  johnathan: man, that guy was cool. i can't believe blablabla - i stopped listening.

  and that is the story of the time i kinda liked a car, but couldn't tell bc two chatty cathys were in the car with me :)

Free Food and Pure Poetry

Sometimes, when I am off-track, I spend the day at a carnival. Not on purpose, really - I always mean to go to UVU to go to classes and study with my friends, but I always wind up with my arms full of cotton candy, popcorn, a free necklace or two, and fliers. So it would appear that I went to a carnival instead of a university, like I meant to. 

And if you know me at all, you'll know that that is just fine with me.
And I'm sorry if this gif gives you a seizure.

Anyway, I might as well just admit that I know it is going to be a carnival before I even pull into visitor parking. I know that I will be offered food, and I know that I will graciously accept. So when I walk in, and the library is to my right, I breeze on past it and wander down the hall in the opposite direction until somebody feeds me.

This works out especially well when my best friend, being a model citizen, wants to eat healthy, but she still takes a bag of popcorn and hands it off to me so I can give it to a certain perpetually hungry boy who is studying in the library. Hashtag, Caitlinisthebestfriendandiamthebestgirlfriendever.

(Sorry for hashtagging but I don't think it's quite as bad if you write out the word hashtag so everyone knows you're being ironic even if secretly you kind of like it but you just know that it's frowned upon because people overdo it so you don't want to be one of those people so you write out the word hashtag so people think you're being ironic even though secretly you kind of like it but you just know that it's frowned upon because people overdo it so you don't want to be one of those people....really sorry)

So anyway, while planning lessons in the library today, I decided that I want to teach my kids about cinquain poems for Valentines Day. Google was surprisingly unhelpful, so I just went ahead and wrote my own cinquains to use as examples. Here is what I came up with:

Cupid

 Sneaky, Romantic

Hiding, aiming, enchanting

A cherub of love

Matchmaker.

 Cassidy Jane

Silver, Adorable

Revving, singing, racing

My cute little automobile

Carbaby.

Brad Rudolph

Flashy, Squiggly

Darting, swishing, bubble-blowing

A fish like no other

Betta King.

Stephen

Intelligent, Hungry

Chomping, disrupting, kissing

Getting A's on all his tests

Boyfriend spaz.

In other news, Stephen loved the free popcorn I gave him. And I'm sure everyone in the quiet section of the library loved me for bringing it.

-->

--> -->

The Perfect Valentines Day

Iiiii think, would consist of:

.......sorry that food is my love language. Maybe there would be a little bit of this too:

That is cran-raspberry-apple juice in the background....

 

This would actually just be perfect on any day.

I know Valentines Day is about spending time with your valentine.....and I know that I scored lowest on Receiving Gifts on the Love Languages test. But commercialism isn't such a bad thing :)

5 Things about 5th Grade

Today started out as a normal day. I went to my school, thinking I would make a few copies, plan a few lessons, chat with my teacher friends, and then leave to do other things.

But that's not what happened, because the secretary came to my teacher prep room, where I was prepping.

"Heather," she said, then paused.

And beamed at me.

"Heather," she said again. "How are you?" she asked. There was more beaming.

I started to feel a little worried. I beamed back at her and said "Good, how are you?" 

"I'm good," she said. "How do you feel....about.....being an emergency sub in 5th grade for the rest of the day?"

Here's how I felt about it:

But here's what I did on the outside:

And that's how I ended up in the 5th grade portable, surrounded by a bunch of kids as old as my baby sister and as tall as me. From this experience, I have gained 5 pieces of wisdom I would like to impart:

1. 5th graders can't tell that they are as tall as (or taller than) you when you are sitting down behind a desk. Well actually, maybe they can. But no one said anything about it. So maybe they can't.

2. The new trend right now is zip-up hoodies that zip in the front and can zip all the way up onto the hood, so that when someone zips all those zippers together, they look something like this:

These things are all the rage. Trust me, you'll be cool if you have one.

3. 5th graders love cutting their own hair. They greatly prefer doing that to working on Language Arts, which is what everyone else in the class is doing.

4. There are some words that 5th graders think are funny in any and every context. Today when they were reading and finding words that they were unfamiliar with, this conversation happened:

Boy #1: Dude. Look what word I found.
[The word he's pointing at is "naked."As in "the naked blade."]
Boy #2: What is that word? *Guffaw* Oh, na-a-a-a-ked.
Boy #1: *Snicker* I'm writing it down.
Boy #2: Wait, what page is that on? Ha. Ha. (in a really high voice) Naked!

5. I used to think that teaching in a portable would be a little bit like teaching in Hell. I had this idea in my head that it would be all creaky sounding and the wind would come whistling through holes in the walls, and the desks would slide to one end of the room every time a particularly strong gust of wind came along. It is actually kind of like teaching in your own little island paradise. No one wants to walk outside, so they just ignore you and stay in their cozy offices inside. Little do they know that it is actually like 89* in the portable, and you can adjust that as you wish. It's not so bad :


Good luck to any real live fifth grade teachers! I was okay for one day, but I might hate it if I did it err day.