Carshopping

Is something I do not miss. I imagine this is how people feel when they hate dating and then they get married....anyway. Ever since finding Cassidy Jane Carbaby, my life has been significantly better.

Recently, I was reminded of this when Nicool posted on my wall to say that our facebook conversations are really funny, and I should look at them again. I did, and found this little gem:

• 

  10:39pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  i think you would really appreciate my story of my test drive today though

  it went like this

  ring ring! hello? hi johnathan, this is heather. do you want to go carshopping with me? 

  him: sure

  we drive over.

  dealer: hi do you want to take it for a drive?

   

  me: yes, i just want to look it over first. johnathan and i look at the engine, lights, etc. dealer: you want to go for a drive? me: yes please! we set out

  me: i want to go on the highway and also find some hills to take it on. dealer: ok sure, if you go right it'll take you to the I-15. me: dim memory of hearing abotu I-15 on the radio on the way home from school today.....

  we hit traffic immediately.

  the car hits a high of 30 mph.

  dealer: ok so let's take this exit and find some hills

  me: ok.... *remembering that what i heard about I-15 is that there was an accident and it was all kindsa backed up

  we exit

  dealer starts talking about his life story

  johnathan chimes in with his life story

  they become enthralled with each other

  i try to listen to engine sounds

  dealer encourages me to be careful and not rear-end anyone

  then goes on to tell johnathan his conversion story

  his story of coming to america from iran

  his political leanings

  his view of BYU
• 

  10:42pm

  Nicole Connor

  WHAT

  DOES HE KNOW FARSI
• 

  10:42pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  all about his family

  huh? like the language?
• 

  10:42pm

  Nicole Connor

  yes!
• 

  10:42pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  i dk maybe.....he had an accent and he's been here for 15 yrs
• 

  10:42pm

  Nicole Connor

  omgomgomgomgomgomgomgmogmogg
• 

  10:42pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  no more like 30 yrs
• 

  10:43pm

  Nicole Connor

  holy shiz love your life
• 

  10:43pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  ?

  nicool
• 

  10:43pm

  Nicole Connor

  I wish I couldve talked with him!!
• 

  10:43pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  you would've been just as bad as johnathan!

  i was trying to decide if i wanted to buy a car and they just wanted to talk about missionary experiences and their upraising

  *their respective upraisings

  anyyyyway
• 

  10:44pm

  Nicole Connor

  heather, I will not even try to deny that I wouldve been just as bad as jonathan. I wouldve talked with him allllll about whats going on in the middle east right now and also about farsi and tips he has abotu learning it
• 

  10:45pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  dealer directs me (in between his career shift from dentist to dealer and the story about the time he owned a porsche and got pulled over by like 6 cops) to a road which he promises is full of hills

  we find that it is under construction

  enter the under construction gods for their one line: YE SHALL NOT PASS

  dealer directs me to another road
• 

  10:46pm

  Nicole Connor

  AWESOME.
• 

  10:46pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  we go on that road and find that it goes up a teeny tiny hill and leads us straight to a dead end

  johnathan turns to me and says: "have you had enough hills for your liking?"

  i get a little confused. where did johnathan see a hill? i wonder. i smile complacently.

  dealer announces that he doesn't have much time bc he has to go pick up his kids

  (he has 5. one of them is 6'1 220 lbs and plays football for timpview.)
• 

  10:48pm

  Nicole Connor

  oh my
• 

  10:48pm

  Heather Christine Connor

  so we drive back to the lot

  and i ask if i can come back tomorrow

  and he says yes

  johnathan and i get in the car

  johnathan: so what did you think? me: i think i liked it, the engine looked pretty clean, and it ran pretty well from what i could see. but i do want to drive it faster and also on some real hills. i dk, what do you think?

  johnathan: man, that guy was cool. i can't believe blablabla - i stopped listening.

  and that is the story of the time i kinda liked a car, but couldn't tell bc two chatty cathys were in the car with me :)

Thanksgiving Leprechauns

Every Friday, I have my class copy down a poem, to work on their handwriting. Last week, we had to do our poem on Wednesday, since we weren't in school on Thursday or Friday. As you might have been able to guess, the poem was about Thanksgiving. Here it is:

Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving is a special day 

To celebrate each year

We gather with our closest friends

Who come from far and near. 

We have so many things to eat

Turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie

Topped with a mountain of sweet whipped cream

That reaches clear up to the sky!

This particular week, I also had them color in the head and legs, from the knees down, of a pilgrim boy or girl. They glued these on the top and bottom of their poem, so it would look like the pilgrim was holding the poem.

I put the following instructions on the board:

1. Copy the poem.
2. Color your pilgrim.
3. Cut out your pilgrim.
4. Glue the pilgrim to your poem.

But, I teach second grade. So these instructions were still a little tiny bit confusing for some of my kids. After about 20 minutes, I reviewed the instructions again by reading them out loud.

I was just saying ".....so in the end, after you've glued the pilgrim to your poem - " when my cute D exclaimed, "What? Pilgrim? I thought this was a leprechaun."

I looked over at his desk, and, sure enough, he had colored in his pilgrim just like a leprechaun.

PS: This is amusing to you too, right? I don't just think this is funny because it's my class and I love them, right? I just want to know that this is not like when new moms post pictures and Facebook statuses about their newborn's poop. This is funny in the real world too, isn't it?

If not, here's something that I know for sure is actually funny to more than just me:

I don't know why I still laugh so hard every time I see this picture....but I do.

The Weekend the World Went Wack

Have you ever had a week (or a weekend) where it seemed like everything was all happening at once? Because I have. It was this last weekend.

Here's a list of the ridiculous things that happened to me or one of my roommates or friends:

*Someone was getting tricked into a romantic date.

*Someone was breaking curfew to hear the story of said romantic date. 

*Someone was getting stood up by a boy with a girlfriend.

*Someone was losing best friend status.

*Someone was confessing their love.

*Someone was getting rejected.

*Make that two someones. 

*Someone was dumping someone else over facebook.

*Speaking of Facebook, someone was finding out that one of their [apparently not-so-good] friends was engaged via facebook.

*Someone was winning a bet and a date.

*Someone was telling a cute boy that she just wants to be a single lady.

*Said cute boy was still wanting to take her on dates and feed her roommates candy.

*Someone was being the best wing-girl ever.....

*Okay I admit, that one was me.

*Someone was writing and mysteriously signing a nice note.....

*....which may have been getting someone's hopes up.

*Someone was ruining her chances with a beautiful boy. Or was she?

*Someone was calling up an ex, but lying about their identity over the phone. What?

*Anddddd someone was getting a Facebook message from the sexy uncle. Dun dun dunnn.

Keep Calm and Pioneer On

Last night, while hanging out with some friends - and by "hanging out," I mean "pinteresting" with some friends - we started discussing our plans for today.

And when I say "we started discussing our plans for today," I mean "I started trying to discuss plans and my friends laughed me to scorn and continued Pinteresting."

Our conversation went as follows:

C: I don't have work tomorrow! Let's do something fun. 

K: Me neither. 

Me: Oh good! What should we do?

C&K become engrossed in Pinterest.

I become engrossed in Pinterest.

I think it was right now in the conversation that W turned her computer around to show us a movie trailer.

No longer engrossed in Pinterest after watching that, I remembered our conversation. 

Me: Maybe we can lay out at my pool. 

K: *Snort*

Me: We always meet the best people there....

Just a few days ago, K, W, and I met THE WORST BOY at my pool. So with this reminder, we all become engrossed in some healthy Facebook stalking. 

Me: So for tomorrow....aren't there any parades or anything?

C: Not in Provo, they mostly just celebrate in Salt Lake. 

We become engrossed in Pinterest once again. W turns her computer around to show us this SNL skit.

About 30 minutes / pins later.....

Me: Maybe we should make butter. 

W: .....What?

Me: You know, cuz it's Pioneer Day....so we can make like bread and butter....

K: Okay, bread I can understand, we can make bread. Butter?

Me: Yeah, cuz you have to roll it? You know, in a jar, like the pioneers.

C: Maybe we'll just think of an idea tomorrow. We don't have to plan right now. 

So now I am taking my ideas to my blog instead! Because they are good ideas!

1. Make butter

2. Make ice cream

3. Make bread

4. Braid my hairs

5. Say "This is the place" whenever I arrive anywhere

6. Participate in a stick pulling contest

7. Attend a rodeo?!

8. Go shooting

9. Go car-shopping

10. Go for a walk

11. Lay out at the pool

12. Listen to this talk.

Hope your Pioneer Day is full of just as many good ideas as mine is :) 

PS: I hit myself in the face yesterday. With a cabinet door. It was a sad thing for me to go through. 

The charmed life

sometimes involves.....

- waking up, going outside, picking raspberries and blackberries, and eating them with your cereal.

- breaking world records in all Track and Field events after 2 hours of playing Kinect Sports with your sister.

- tackling your siblings in a concerted effort to get stronger.

- becoming addicted to the Big Bang Theory, simply because there is so much time around here.

- eating all the caramel in the world. Literally. ALL THE CARAMEL.

- saying, "Julie! / Joseph! / Jacob! / Sarah! How come.....you're so cute?" every time I see one of those cute people.

- becoming a pro at shooting a basketball backwards.

- narrowly avoiding vicious scams by people who don't live charmed lives like stupid Patricia J. Hall.

- listening to this song on a loop:

  

- following up every family prayer with 12 push-ups and 21 crunches (or however old you are).

- trying to tackle your brother only to bang your head on the wall.

- wondering, "but why is the jam gone?"

- laughing hysterically because Pluto isn't technically a planet.

- blasting this song every time it is on the radio and singing along with Baby Sister:

 

- going to Rita's whenever I feel like it, because it is just like 5 minutes away instead of 2000 miles away like it is when I'm in Utah....

- having friends over who cover your brother's eyes when an inappropriate part comes on in the movie you're watching.

- having brothers who cover your friend's eyes when an inappropriate part comes on in the movie you're watching.

- phrases like "Screw you, Tower of Babel!" coming up in scripture study.

- spending a morning watching Steve Irwin videos on YouTube with Baby Sister.

- stacking up significant fines on your library card and feeling really embarrassed about that since they just waived $18.40 in fines from the last time you checked something out (February of 2011).

- lunching with the Padre.

- hacking into my grandma's Facebook. getting nice posts on Facebook clearly written by my grandma who loves me.

Sweet Skills

So the other day, I was watching the Bachelorette, and Emily said that she didn't feel like she had a lot of talents. My immediate reaction was, "What the heck Emily! Yes you do! You're awesome! You're so pretty and nice and sometimes you say funny things!" And then I realized that "being pretty" doesn't count as a talent.

Neither does being nice, and even saying funny things occasionally can't really be counted as a talent.

And then I realized that I don't have that many talents either. Here are the things that I consider my talents:

- teaching (this is to be seen, I guess)
- txting
- typing fast
- writing (letters, blogs, papers, etc.)
- hair-doing
- nannying
- trying new recipes
- facebook-stalking (I'm not as good as Winnie, but I'm pretty good at it)
- singing a little bit and piano a little bit and dancing a little bit
- packing lots of stuff into a little bag / suitcase / car

Anyways. That looks like a pretty decently-sized list, but when you think about it, none of those talents would get me landed on America's Got Talent. So I am determined to get some new talents. Some cool ones!

Here are the talents I want to develop:

- doing pull-ups on a pull-up bar. These are always impressive. I want to be able to do EIGHT.
- trick-riding on a horse. I need a horse for this, so I might not actually be able to develop this talent until I have married a cowboy.
- playing the ukulele. So I guess I will need a ukulele. After I buy a car, I will get one.
- whistling. I've never been able to whistle. I'd really like to able to.
- making cream puffs. Maybe I will learn how while I'm home!

If anyone has advice for how I can master any of these talents, please let me know :)

You might need more sleep if....

.....you have been consistently getting 4 hrs of sleep a night.

.....you start out your shift at the Writing Center feeling pretty tired.

.....the paper you are reading over with a student is not the most entertaining.

.....you find yourself swiveling your chair distractingly back and forth in a valiant effort to keep your eyes open.

.....you also find yourself biting the insides of your cheeks to keep from yawning for the 42nd time in the same tutorial.

.....you feel a little drowsy while reading this blog post.

.....you hear yourself talking, and you just hear your voice getting gradually slower and lower.

.....you kind of feel like you're having an out-of-body experience, and you're just watching yourself talk from a foot or two above your own head.

.....you realize, just before the words leave your mouth, that you were about to say: "Sometimes scientists break the rules, right. So are you arguing for the police to come and put them in the pool, since they're being unethical?"

.....you are barely able to remember that this does not make sense when discussing a paper about the medicinal properties of chamomile.

.....you realize, when you remember this, that you just fell asleep while talking.

.....you try to restart your brain and think of something....anything!.....intelligent to say, and nothing comes.

.....your tutee is looking at you with a vaguely concerned expression and doesn't understand any of the questions you ask them.

.....you realize that they probably don't understand your questions because the questions probably don't make sense.

.....you end this remarkably unsuccessful tutorial and go back to the tutor table, feeling a little guilty for the lack of help that you were to your tutee but mostly just feeling sorry for yourself.

.....you go back home, bound and determined to go to sleep immediately after dinner.

.....you don't go to bed until 1 in the morning - again - because you got all wrapped up in roommate bonding, ex-roommate bonding, lesson planning, and the ever-entrancing power of facebook.

.....and the cycle continues.

Called to [Crowd-Surf]

If you haven't been living under a rock for the past few days, your facebook probably got all blown up with pictures from the Holi Festival of Colors.

Here are some, just on the off-chance that you have been living under a rock:

The Festival of Colors is a Hindu celebration where people go and throw colored chalk in the air, and it gets everywhere, all over your face and in your hair and on your clothes, and then everyone jumps up and down, rocking out to Hindu prayers and songs, and then people act a little crazy because that's what you do when you get colorful chalk on you, and then everyone runs home as fast as they can to put their awesomer-than-everyone-else's pictures on facebook.

WELL having never been to this wonderful event, I wasn't about to miss any of those steps. I went with some really good friends as well as some new friends, and we had a blast!

Here's us on our way to the Festival:

so fresh and so clean clean.

We got there at about 10:30, so we were in time for the 11:00 chalk throwing. But all of this happened before 11:00.....

Steve was kind enough to hold me on his shoulders for the throwing. It was awesome to have such a tall view! For about a minute after 11:00 struck and everyone's colors filled the air, I could barely see in front of me. But it really looked so cool.

I wouldn't advise any of my asthmatic friends to attend this event. But to everyone else, I highly recommend it!

OH and I almost forgot. After the throwing, we went right up to the edge of the stage where they were playing Hindu rock music. The musicians got on the microphone and thanked us all for coming, gave some tips for safe crowd-surfing, and introduced their next song. All of a sudden, I found myself being lifted into the air and flung, despite my screams, on top of the people next to us.

Those people reached up to catch me, then passed me on to the people next to them. And I was off! People underneath me just moved me along. I was crowd-surfing!

And then, I wasn't. I was falling. I was kicking a poor innocent girl in the face. I was landing flat on my back in the middle of a bunch of really kind, sympathetic people who helped me up and inquired after my well-being and patted me on the bum and sent me back to my friends and went back to mosh-pitting and dropping other crowd-surfers who got pushed their way.

And that is the story of the first (and last?) time that I crowd-surfed.