Beach Bums

Disney Land is a pretty magical place, but the next stop on our vacation was every bit as magical, in my opinion. It was a bit of a hassle in the assle to get to, but when we got there, it was so worth it!

"The pimp-friend-turned-tour guide, formerly known as Steve"

"Can you hold this please? In your face...." -Steve

S: Can you imagine life without GPS?
W: Can you imagine life without....cell phones, or cars, or World of Colors....

W: I really hope this is the beach house. Otherwise I'm just going to break in and pretend it is.
S: Oh hey, are you my dad's client? No? Well, now you are!

"I don't even want to drive after this. Like at all. I will let my body eat itself." -Steve

"Thanks for the love honk, dude." -Steve

"This GPS is stupid. I want to punch it." -Steve

H: You guys are such novices at being lost. See, I get lost all the time, so this is like, no big deal. Oooh, look at that pretty rose!
S: Maybe that's why you get lost all the time....
H: Huh?
S: Oooh! A flower! That's what you do when you get lost??

And then, we arrived. It was almost midnight, and we all just kind of stumbled into the beach house and dropped our stuff.

You guys. It was the cutest beach house I have ever been in. It was so adorable! There was a little kitchen, a little living room, two bedrooms, and two bathrooms. The best part? The beach was right outside the back door.

Despite Steve's earlier declaration that he never wanted to drive again, we did end up driving to the grocery store, where we got food like real people. Like groceries that real people eat. 

The next morning, I was woken up by Winnie saying: "Heather! Go look outside! It's a beautiful day!" I was so excited that I rolled out of bed and ran straight to the ocean to dip my toes in. If I could wake up every day to such a declaration, I would not even mind that. 

The rest of our time in Newport Beach is a blur of frozen bananas, sand castles, honkin huge starfish, beachside barbecues, healthy people, frisbee lessons, souvenir shopping, Jersey Shore, $300 palm trees, and absolutely no hanky panky.

H: I have a coupon for a free package of hot dogs if we want to use that?

T: For where?

W: Any grocery store. Anywhere that sells balls.....

"You're gorgeous, don't stop!" -Skater boy

"And tell Steve he's the luckiest man in California. He's driving around with the three most powerful women currently in California....he could run for governor right now if he wanted to. I never would have been able to get 3 girls to go to the beach with me. I want to know what kind of aftershave he's wearing!" -my dad

Beach Bum #1: Hey, where did I park my Mercedes?

Beach Bum #2: I think it was next to my BMW...

Beach Bum #3: Oh yeah, didn't we double-park?

"Hey Steve. If you really want, you can kiss me on the cheek, since the sun is setting on the beach." -Christine

S: Kimmy used to kick me there all the time.

K: Yeah, and every time I did, my dad would like pull aside and tell me why I couldn't do that. And I still. Did it.

S: I'd love to just....sit on the beach in a beach chair and have a talk with Jesus.

H: You're so California....

H: I feel like we aren't being as funny today.

Ch: That's because we actually got some sleep....

"I was in the bathroom, getting fresh to death, like I do....." -Mike (Jersey Shore)

T: And then she kinda just left me hangin'....

H: "Left me hangin'?" Is that really a phrase you want to be using in this story?

Cutting Corners

I don't know if I've ever mentioned how much I love the sun (1, 2, 3 times at least) but let me just reiterate: I love the sun. I do not like it when I leave work at 6 and it's already completely gone down for the night.

It also hurts my feelings that Provo is apparently participating in the Great Freeze-out of 2011. Last night, I went to see the Zoolights at the Hogle Zoo with Jacob, Kelly and Dahl. I was wearing a ten-ta, a long-sleeved shirt, a fleece jacket, my blue pea coat, a huge big beige marshmallow coat, and gloves. I ran through the zoo, dashing from one heater to the next. I spent my time in the Reptile House thawing out. I was a little bit cold, and I feel like that's weird since I was wearing so many clothes.

Today, I left the Writing Center. It was 26* outside. The sun was gone. I walked through the barren wasteland that our campus has turned into, darting into buildings whenever I could to cut a jagged (but slightly warmer) path home. I left one building and crossed the sidewalk. I was about to step onto the frosted mulch when something stopped me.

"Cougars don't cut corners," trilled a self-righteous voice in my head. I started to turn, intending to follow the sidewalk instead of cutting across the grass. Then, another thought occurred to me. I jerked back around and stepped defiantly on the frozen patch of brown.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I thought snappishly. "Was something about to grow here? Did I ruin a poor defenseless flower's lifelong dream of growing up in the Ice Age?"

I'm not the only one who's being affected by the drop in temperature, either. Today in the Writing Center, Bryce the Grammar Tutor said to me: "I just tutored the most stressed-out girl ever. She was constantly checking the time, and taking off her glasses and then putting them back on, and just fidgeting and sighing....it was stressing me out just sitting by her!" I thought to myself, Hmmm. I wonder how that would be. I've never tutored someone who was that stressed out. I wonder how I would react? Would I be patient and nice? Or would I get snappy?

Lucky for me, the very next person on the list would have made Bryce's tutee look like Colbie Caillat - the picture of calm and unruffled. Meaning I didn't have long to wait before all of these questions were answered. I would be patient and nice in such a situation! I would have the patience of Job! I would not snap. I would be encouraging throughout the entire thing. I would even invite the drama queen back for more.

This was a boy in desperate need of some Vitamin D. As we talked, he ran his fingers through his hair, dropped his face into his hands, and reassured me multiple times that he hadn't been putting off the paper and it was just a really hard assignment for him. I wanted to tell him that it was a hard assignment because he was trying to write an opinion editorial and his teacher wanted him to write an issues paper, but I honestly thought he was going to cry if I told him that. I suggested he add some statistics to support some of his ideas.

"WHAT!?" he screamed, flipping the desk over. "You want me to bounce on my head all the way to China and back?"

"No," I calmly replied. "I am simply suggesting that you add some support from outside sources. Please, have a seat. Can I get you a cushion? No? Well how about I just write your conclusion?"

Okay so maybe that's not exactly how the conversation went, but you get the idea.

And all because the sun couldn't be bothered to bless us with its kiss for more than 5 hours a day.

Giving of Thanks

I heard recently about this thing called "First Class Problems." It's when you complain about something that those less fortunate than you would lovvve to complain about. Here are some examples:

"This dress is way too loose!" Those less fortunate than you - anyone who has put on a few pounds and can't seem to find a scrap of clothing that is even close to loose on them.

"My boyfriend wants to hang out alllll the time and it's so annoying!" Those less fortunate than you - anyone who are neglected by their boyfriend. Maybe he is too busy cheating on them. Maybe he just went to California while you stayed behind. Whatever.

"Ugh! I can't rotate the PDF on my iPad touch!" Those less fortunate than you - anyone who doesn't have an iPad touch.

"My boobs are way too big, they never fit in anything!" Those less fortunate than you - oh, me. Shut up about it.

You understand. Since it is Thanksgiving, not a single First Class Problem will escape my lips this holiday or on this blog! Instead, I will list things I am grateful for. One thing for each letter of the alphabet.

** I'm not including people, since feelings might get hurt. You guys, I'm just too popular! (Kidding.) But please know that I am more grateful for people than any of these things :)

A - Awful Waffle. Best crepes in Provo, I love it!

B - babies. They're so dang cute!

C - Christmas. I cannot wait!

D - Daddies. Kind of a person, but also I'm just grateful for daddies in general. They're so sweet and hardworking and selfless.

E - exercise videos. Thank you, Lena Pareira!

F - Florida. I sometimes think I dreamed my life there. It was a very nice dream.

G - girl friends. I don't know what I would do without my friends! I have been so blessed with the most loyal and fun girl friends and I love them to death.

H - Heavenly Father.

I - ice cream. I work at ColdStone, so obviously it is my passion! Just kidding, but I really am thankful for it.

J - Jesus. I'm so grateful to be a member of his church and grateful that he wants to have a personal relationship with me. I'll never be able to thank him enough for what he's done for me, but putting him on this list is a good start I think!

K - kissing. Mhmm. It's a nice thing.

L - laughter.

M - moms. Mine is obviously the best, but I'm grateful for moms in general. It's so great that in today's society with so many pressures to choose something different, there are still women who think it's important to have and raise children, who are willing to put the needs of their children in front of their own desires.

N - naps.

O - optimistic thoughts. It's never been super-hard for me to be happy and optimistic, and I am grateful that that comes naturally to me. I know it is a struggle for lots of people.

P - pandora.com. This guy gets me through all my homeworks.

Q - questions. I am grateful for the chances I get to ask questions, and for the questions other people ask me about myself. I am grateful that I am not afraid to ask questions.

R - rights. I'm grateful to live in a country where my rights are defended daily. I'm grateful for the concept of rights, the idea that we have inherent worth.

S - sunshine. Anyone surprised?

T - taste. Can you imagine if we couldn't taste? Eating would be a chore, something we just had to fit into our busy schedules. Instead it is a delight, all because of taste. We've just learned how to appreciate it.

U - underwears. Cute underwear can make you feel instantly better, even though no one else would be able to tell the difference if you had on granny panties or a thong. It's nice to have something so simple just for your own enjoyment.

V - Vera Bradley lanyard. I love mine!

W - washer in my apartment. It is so handy and convenient.

X - X. This x represents everything that I forgot. As in, I am grateful for x. :)

Y - yesterday! I am grateful for all the great memories I have, the wonderful opportunities I've enjoyed so far in my life.

Z - zippers. It is nice when they don't get stuck. And when they stay up.

So there you go! What are you thankful for?

Cultural Diorama

For my TELL 400 class, we were required to gather 3 things from our house that represent us and our cultural identity. Here are my three things:

Label: an East Coast girl who loves writing, memories, and sunshine.

1. sunglasses

These are my favorite sunglasses. I got them from Forever 21 a few months ago and wear them almost every day. These sunglasses represent who I am because I love the summertime, girly things, and good deals. This past winter, I left the frigid state of Utah for sunny Florida and I've never regretted that decision. I just love sunshine and Florida had that in abundance.

I am an East Coast girl, born and raised in Maryland, and I grew up in a fairly well-off community. I chose these sunglasses to represent that because big sunglasses are kind of trendy and a lot of celebrities wear them. My sunglasses have a floral design printed on the inside of them, which I like because it adds a touch of girliness. I love being trendy and dressing up, and I've definitely been accused of being girly (I won't argue with that!). At the same time, I hate spending lots of money. I think these sunglasses were about $6, which is just the kind of price I like for sunglasses.

2. camera

This is my camera. It’s not anything fancy, but it gets the job done and I love it! My mom loved taking pictures when I was little; anything was an excuse. I remember going to the dentist with my sisters and we were all dressed up so we could take pictures by the Washington, D.C. temple on our way home. I’ve always loved taking pictures so I didn’t mind. My older sister, Kelly, also loves taking pictures, and we both feel that almost any activity is worth it if we get good pictures out of it. My friends always tease me because I have over 2000 pictures on my Facebook, but I just feel like pictures are a great way to preserve memories!

3. pen

My favorite kind of pen is the Pentel Profile pen - really specific I know, but if you've ever used one you will understand! - but any pen could be used to represent who I am. Besides teaching, writing is my passion. I loved writing stories when I was little and I still hope that one day I will be able to publish a book. In the meantime, I keep a blog, write in a journal, send out missionary letters, and work in the Writing Center on campus.

I also chose a pen to represent education. Doing well in school was always expected and celebrated in my family. Both parents were willing to help me with homework whenever I needed it. My dad is the smartest man I know and was always my go-to man for help with anything involving math, science, or religion. He taught me, through his example, that education is extremely valuable, and intelligence is worth the hard work it takes to attain it. My mom is very creative and always gave me good ideas for big school projects. She didn't finish college but is always learning something new on her own. Still, she always tells my siblings and me how smart she thinks we are and encourages us in all our academic pursuits. Seeing how my parents value education taught me to value it the same way.

Aside from my family's influence, I come from a community that prides itself on it's public education system. I went to school in Howard County my whole life, one of the best school districts in Maryland based on the Maryland School Assessments. More than 90% of the students who graduate from Howard County schools continue their education following high school, a statistic that few communities even come close to. The public library five minutes away from my house is recognized as one of the best in the nation.

As a child I didn't realize how lucky I was, but I can see now that I was greatly blessed where education is concerned. I was given all the resources I could possibly need to succeed in school. I grew to love education, especially when we did anything that involved writing, and now I'm on my way to becoming a teacher!

Remember When: Florida

Hullo Liv, Jackie and Christine :) I am posting this list just for your enjoyment. Thanks for a wonderful semester!

Remember when.....

-We met Olivia and Jackie went to work out immediately and then ate prenatal vitamins, and I called my family to tell them all the groceries I bought....

-We went through lines our whole first day and no one even fed us :(

-Olivia and Jackie jumped in the pool and Liv had Relief Society arms

-***** was in love with Liv and **** was in love with Christine and ***** was in love with me

-.....and then we left Florida and.....nothing

-Liv bought red high heels

-Liv made up a love song about ****

-I went to work out because of the beautiful boy and I never saw him again, but still worked out occasionally

-Christine's coordinator called her out for calling in when she wasn't sick, just joking, and she said, "I'm on my period, so BACK OFF!"

-Jackie needed to not be so guarded and stop caring about what Bruce thinks

-**** wasn't into the whole "makey-outty think"

-But **** was

-"Leeeett'sss, getitonnn"

-We got lost looking for Twisty Treats and went to McDonalds instead and Liv got us free lemonade because she was barefoot and pantsless

-Liv and I watched Last Song and I cried

-We went to Expedition Everest and I looked like a retard in the picture!?

-"I'm sorry??"

-Liv greeted the morning with no pants on and the girl looked at her weird, like that wasn't normal

-We danced in the tornado rain in our swimsuits

-We made that delicious cinnamon streusel cake with ****'s pan and he hated us. Specifically Liv

-Liv straddled James the British man on the bus ride home

-We went for an ice cream run and everyone ate their ice cream in 3.672 seconds.....I mean, a week....

-Except the nasty berry granola kind.

-Jesse though Liv and I hated Jackie??

-***** said Liv was loud

-We went to the hoedown and witnessed a proposal, complete with blue flowers, a defective microphone, and mackin with cowboy hats on

-We laid out and listened to conference

-We didn't have a tv :(

-We wore biks and nobody judged

-the only time Sean saw me was when I was immodest....

-Dallin took Olivia and I on a motorcycle ride after church and we looked hottt in our dresses and heels

-I turned into a lobster at the beach and hurt soooo, frickin, ba-ad

-Olivia and Christine didn't have nearly enough cocoa butter / lotion (for jokesies)

-the lady at McDonalds recognized Jax and Liv

-We went to Chick-Fil-A three days in a row and did not feel regret

-Olivia stole the tabletoppers from all the restaurants and Jackie called Jimmy John's to apologize

-We all called in to lay out by the pool and go out to eat and see Elder Bednar (does that last one redeem us?)

-Brad got an awesome island condo and everyone was going to call in and go and party and get tons of action......but it never happened?

-Brad made plans and followed through with no hassle! - wait, don't remember that.

-We listened to Avril Lavigne's song 42,836 times a day.

-Olivia had never heard of a cock block

-But **** was the very definition of one

-Olivia found a crab claw on the beach, and she accepted it

-And Heather found a dead and decaying sea turtle and 381 cigarette butts

-The French boy got my number at McD's and wanted to go to Bliss with me, but I didn't know his name, so we decided to "keep in touch, kiss!"

-Jackie was in love with a black man (surprise) and a Mexican named Joaquin

-I was in love with.....everyone else

-Sarah (my sister) said to Sean, "Oh I see, you're crushin' on my sister?"

-but that was inaccurate, since he was actually crushin' on random guests

-We spent money at the outlets and we were poor! but happy :)

-Chris did not see Christine's boob! (yeah, okay)

-Chris had prickly chest hair and Olivia loved it when he hugged her goodbye

-Jackie was flirting with Brad and then saw Sy's roommate....tots awk

-Nobody held a candle to us in our red high heels

-We got hit on my Moroccans in Epcot and they gave us food and took our friend Kelsey

-We thudded. (Downstairs mixup, part 2)

-I learned how to surf!

-We got donuts and hair products and bread from our church

-Correction: Liv got donuts

-Liv ripped her pants cheerleading

-Smelling feet was normal

-Olivia and Jackie were wrestling when Sean came over

-Heather dumped Prince Eric, married Flynn Ryder, and dated Hercules.

-I had an entire drawer full of nail polish

-Everything we said was amazing and earth-shattering, according to ****

-Olivia and I played soda pong and Liv had to drink my soda, too

-Jackie probably caused a heart attack with a single txt

-Heather just wanted a "K"

-Eric Mullen was our (IDIOT) busdriver

-We rode in a taxi home from Walmart

-that BOY! told us that BYU and UNLV were rivals. Who knew??

-Heather was making a mistake because he was "worth it"

-We all hated Goodings. Stupid Goodings.

-Jackie and Heather paid $2.50 to make a circle and go to Walmart.

-Twice.

-Christine had more fun dancing than the drunk people did

-I was fluent in French

-Christine got a hottie-bo-bottie boy to pay for her to go to Universal Studios

-More Moroccans hit on Jackie and Heather in the parking lot and Heather gave them the wrong number on accident.....on purpose

-We went to House of Blues and Jackie and Heather were the only blondes and one of 4 white people in the whole place

-We decorated our apartment with a hair flower and a green dish towel in a water glass

-the apartment uniform was no pants, a purple silky work shirt, and TAN

-Heather didn't give her number to a Yankee's fan driving next to her

-Everyone loved my driving

-I had really embarrassing fairy godmothers

-Aladdin was dating Prince Charming :(

-Everyone was a gourmet chef except Heather

-We watched the fireworks whenever the heck we wanted

-Liv was the luckiest girl because she got to watch the parade every day

-Jackie had a sexy costume and needed to leave something to the imagination

-We had the absolute best time ever!

Inner Turmoil

is so fun.

You know what else is so fun? (And by that I mean, you know what actually is fun...)

-Pong Night

-learning French

-working at Coldstone again

-laying out at the pool with Caitlin

-Temple Tuesdays with Rachel

-getting my toes done by Bana

-free food

-indecent news

-gojane.com

-trampolines

-Baachi

-rodeos

In conclusion, SUMMER is fun. I'm just a summer girl :)

(Side note: if you make that song into a pandora station, and you are anything like me, you will be a happy person.)

A Perfect Summer Day

must include at least 5 of the following:

1. sunshine

2. laying out at the pool

3. a good book

(someone give me the second one NOW)

(......please)

4. good friends

(real live friends, too....)

5. free food

6. 10 cent ice cream cones at buy low

7. cute boys

(J.P. especially!)

In conclusion, I have had at least 4 perfect days since arriving back here in Utah :)

Um....sike!

I hate the sun! It is so so mean to me all the time. Even when I wear sunscreen and reapply it twice, it is mean to me. I want to go home now! Ow ow owww. Where is my mom to take care of me? I am so hurty!

I'm in Love.

With Florida.

I am in love with palm trees. I love their rustly palm leaves and their jaggedy trunks. I love that they are everywhere here.

I am in love with the sunshine. I love that it follows me. I love that it tans me. I love that I can feel it on my bare skin in the middle of winter. I love how it dries my hair in just a few minutes.

I am in love with the ocean. I love the stripes of color, the green that fades to blue that suddenly becomes light sandy brown. I love the shells that get tossed around all day by the foamy waves. I love how the salty water tastes.

I am in love with the sand. I love how it is so soft, but so easy to pack. I love how it feels on my feet. I love pushing my hands into the sand and feeling how cool it is where the sun isn't touching it. I love drawing in it. I love doing cartwheels on the sand.

I am in love with my job. I love that I can do hair. I love that I can make people believe that I am magical. I love that I can talk to little girls from everywhere, from Mexico, or Brazil, or France, or the United States. I love that I can feel these little girls' spirits as I talk to them about whatever while I do their makeover. I love that I work with people who are so fun and nice.

I am in love with flipflops. I love the way they slide on my feet without any hassle. I love when I get a flipflop tanline. I love seeing my toes and wiggling them around.

I am in love with motorcycles. I have said it a million times, but I just think they're the hottest thing ever. I love wearing heels and a dress and climbing on the back of a motorcycle. I love holding on tight and shooting down the road. I love putting my hands up and feeling like I'm flying. I love the way the wind pulls on my hair.

I am in love with Cici's Pizza. I love how nice the workers are. I love the macaroni pizza. I love how small the slices are. I love the desserts. I love paying hardly anything for a whole meal. I love not being hungry for a whole day after eating there.

I can't ever leave this place. Why did I think I could be here for 4 months and then leave? I'm so in love with everything about Florida.