How it Continued

Once upon a time, a boy named Stephen decided that he was going to be a firefighter over the summer. He was going to fight fires with a crew that would go out of the state for 2 weeks, firefight, come home for 2 days, rinse, and repeat. No phones for the 2 weeks out of town. No skype. No girlfriends coming to visit.

Then, he met a girl named Heather. (Me.) At first I liked him, and then I loved him, and then I didn't want him to leave to do firefighting.

This is how I pictured the summer going:

him

me.

 But I also didn't want to tell him what to do, and I didn't want to ruin his plans and dreams, so I resigned myself to a summer of lonesomeness and tried to think of ways to make it not be the worst thing ever.

Then, plans changed, as they are known to do. Stephen wasn't going to leave for the summer after all! I would be lying if I said I wasn't pret-ty overjoyed about that unexpected turn of events.

Then plans changed again, and the day before my parents came out for my graduation in April, Stephen decided that he was going to take another job in Texas. For the whole summer. He was going to be in Texas, not Utah, for the whole summer. He'd have a phone, and Skype, and I would go and visit him, and he would probably fly back to visit me.

Everybody's got trials, I guess. So I again resigned myself to a summer of lonesomeness and tried to think of ways to make it not be the worst thing ever.  If I had had more time, I probably would have spent some of that time moping and whatnot. But I didn't have the time, so I just tried to really enjoy those last few days before Stephen left.

My cute parents came to town, met the man, took us out to eat about a hundred times, took a buttload of pictures, and cheered for me as I graduated.

I don't know why my dad is so dang cute, look at him all dressed up in BYU colors!

The best mom on this planet :)

It was a wonderful few days, even with all the packing and moving. I'm sure my parents didn't love that part, but they were good sports and so incredibly helpful. I couldn't have done it without them!

Okay, now back to this guy. 

On Friday, we went mini-golfing with my parents, Kelly, and Dahl. It was basically an exact copy of a double date the best friend went on when her parents came to town to meet her man, including the part where the losers had to buy everyone ice cream at the end.

Probbbbbbably the best score I have ever, any times ever, gotten mini-golfing.

Stephen left at 5:30 the next morning. He came and woke me up to say goodbye, and after I sleepily reminded him to floss his teeth err day, he left. 

It was a little embarrassing, but whatever. 

When my parents left on Sunday, I was pretty lonesome. The best friend and I started making plans for incentives we could offer to our boys. We had really good ideas, like sending them care packages, a party in a box, and tickets to fun things in Houston. For 60 sales, I would go visit Stephen. At 100, he would come visit me. Coping was off to a good start!

Stephen was Mr. Logical Think-About-Money-and-the-Future Man when he left on Saturday morning. I was Miss Blubbery-I'm-So-Abandoned, but that's beside the point. The point is that between Saturday and Tuesday morning, I became the little girlfriend that could (be supportive albeit lonesome all summer) and he became the boyfriend that couldn't (stand the thought of us being apart all summer). 

So plans changed again! In this order:

1. He was going to come back on Thursday and work in Utah all summer!

2. He was going to come back on Saturday. 

3. He was going to go home to Indiana and work there for the summer. 

4. He was going to come here first for a week or two, then go home to work in Indiana. 

5. He was going to come back to Utah on Friday? !!!

6. Nope. Still Saturday. 

Lots of changes to the plan err day.   

So then this was pretty much me. 

 But on Saturday morning, I picked him up from the airport. And became one-half of this couple:

Except, it wasn't quite that picturesque. And he came out to the curb and I picked him up there. But still.

Stephen pretty much told me that the reason he was coming back to Utah was so that we could get engaged. I had always thought that I wanted to be totally surprised by the proposal, and I was very against the idea of going ring-shopping.

But that very day, we found ourselves in the beautiful city of Salt Lake, climbing a spiral staircase

 up to the 3rd floor of this place,

to look at a few things that glittered and were definitely not gold. I've heard some horror stories about ring-shopping, so I guess it's not always pleasant. But it can be very pleasant when you are being assisted by a wonderful, warm and not snooty at all lady named Liz, and when your boyfriend keeps saying things like "I just want it to be something you like," and "Can we see it with a bigger diamond? Just to see." 

I had to go back to school on Monday, but every day that week when I got home, Stephen and I would eat dinner and then do something fun. That weekend, we took a trip to Moab.

While there, I learned:

1. Rock climbing outside is very different than rock climbing inside.

Here's me climbing inside. Look how high I am on that wall! How fearless! That smile!

Aaaand that's me climbing outside. Stephen took this picture without zooming in with his phone, so yeah, I really am like 6 feet off the ground. Look at those hips! Tucked in all up on the wall. That deer-in-headlights expression! Where did that even come from?? I have no idea.

 2. I learned that I can improve! The first time Stephen had me try to climb something in Moab, I panicked. I had never felt such an irrational fear in my soul that was so insistently pervasive. But THEN, the next time he had me try to climb something, I actually got very high! It was still hard. That didn't stop me from being very very proud of myself.

3. I learned that if you do a good job of climbing, then it's okay to look a little tired in the after shot. 

 4. Climbing with some of the red sand in your hairs is okay.

5. Going out to eat at a local place is something you need to do.

6. Going to famous places is also something you need to do. It is funnest to go to these famous places if you-you-you, you work ouuuut, because then you can run some of the way, and you get there in a 1/4 of the average time it takes people to get there.

7. I learned that I like Stephen in Moab just as well as I like him in Provo. And that is how it continued :)

First World Problems

So I have a lot to blog about, but HERE'S THE THING. I haven't because right now, I am trying to:

1. move schools (we're moving tomorrow for the last 3 weeks so my school can get central air conditioning)

2. get engagement pictures taken (check!)

3. get a job for next year (which involves scheduling interviews, writing emails to principals, calling on other contacts for help in getting a job, finding substitutes so I can go to interviews during the school day, etc.)

4. unpack all my stuff at my summer apartment (not trying too hard to do that one, I'll be honest)

5. pack all my stuff at school

6. plan a wedding (oh, mine)

7. figure out where I'm living next year (actually this is Stephen's job but sometimes when I'm stressed about a few things then I start looking for other things to stress about too)

8. get a dress to get married in (finally done with that one)

9. plan my summer

10. plan my fall

11. save money (and the only way I can think of to do that is to just not eat....)

Blablabla boring. All I'm saying is, I'm excited for the day when I can do the following with some degree of consistency without it turning into a freaking panty-tangling process and event:

- sleep

- make and eat dinner (yesterday's dinner was a string cheese and today's was half an apple because it just takes SO MUCH EFFORT to make food and my milk just expired so cereal is no longer an option)

- brush my teeth

- go running (I know. Who am I?? I don’t even know, but I actually really like going running now and I think about it and want to do it and I try to plan it in, and then I get home and the sun sets and the world gets dark and I get scared of getting raped, so I end up just turning on the music video for “Good Feeling” by Flo Rida and running in place in my room while that plays, and friends, that is not even the same thing as running outside, let me tell ya.)

- lay out (if the sun could set at 9:30, I'd be happy. I mean, really happy. I could get home from school at 7 and lay out until the sun set. But no, it sets at 7:10.

- see my friends. I miss them really bad. And I'm turning into a bad friend, like, I know I am. It's depressing that the only time I can ever see them is Monday nights for the Bachelorette. Speaking of which...

- watch the Bachelorette. I usually am so painstakingly devoted to this show, and I take notes and I know the men by name, and I look forward to it every week. And I just can't invest in it this season. It's way too much effort. And it's such a dumb thing and such a first-world problem, but it's my blog and I'll first-world-problem it up if I want to.

Like Winnie the Pooh? But Better

There was this one time, two years ago, when all the bachelors in Utah got lucky.

Or 25 of them at least. Originally it was only supposed to be 21 bachelors, but it ended up being 25-ish. Why did they get lucky all at once, you ask? It's because they happened to know a girl named Christine, and she happened to plan a great surprise for her friend's 21st birthday. And that surprise involved Winnie stepping into a dark room and being surprised by a party that was attended by 21 smokin' hot men who handed her a rose, one by one, and kissed her.

There were supposed to be 21, but like I said before, there ended up being 25-ish. They basically begged to be included, and Christine didn't want to exclude anyone. This might seem surprising to some people in Provo, since not every girl has a boy clamoring after her for a kiss, much less 25. But the better you get to know Winnie, the less surprising it is.

We were babies when we met. BABIES I tell you. There we were, fresh-faced and bushy-tailed, sitting on the grass for freshman orientation. Who could have known then that over the course of our freshman year.....

1. I would spend approximately 3 nights every week sleeping on Winnie's couch instead of my own bed, which was a whole floor away from Winnie's apartment. 

2. We would make friends with some lovely people who we are still friends with today. 

3. We would go to a preference dance that we creatively asked boys to. 

4. We would get our Tucano's free meal cards in the mail at the same time, which would start a glorious tradition of us going to Tucano's for lunch on a weekend close to our birthdays.

5. We would both buy each other ice cream on account of some exciting first kisses. 

6. We would eat lunch together almost err day. We would also eat lots of other meals together. Like every time we had a test coming up and we had to study, so naturally we would eat instead.....

7. She would act as mediator during some interesting interactions with the roommates. We would design a peace pipe made of a paper towel roll and some scrapbook paper for this interaction. We would also come wearing these homemade headbands. 

8. We would be rewarded for the hours we spent mentoring elementary-schoolers with a tour of the football stadium and locker room. We would be more excited about this tour than the elementary-schoolers we were mentoring. 

 

 9. We would cuddle. At least, that's what some people would call what you see happening in that picture below....

 10.We would develop a greater appreciation for animals, like the ones we would visit in the Bean Museum. Also, like Cosmo the Cougar.

11. We would become such good friends that she would come and visit me on the East Coast that summer! During which trip, we would go to DC, NYC, New Jersey (on accident), and Baltimore.

12.  We would continue to party like (Mormon) rock stars when we were sophomores and juniors in college. We thought we would grow up after freshman year.

....but we only kind of did.

 13. We would turn into men for a night. 

 14. At some point, we would also turn into a genie and a shawty, respectively.

15.  We would take a week off from real life with some other friends from freshman year. Instead of going to classes or work, we would spend it in Vegas and California, sampling sodas from around the world, posing by palm trees, celebrating the wonderful Walt Disney, and soaking up the sun. 

Don't worry. We wouldn't feel any remorse about it. 

It's not often that you find someone who will be such a good friend as Winnie is. She is loyal and funny and thoughtful. She is a hard worker, but she makes time to have fun. She gives such good advice, and even when she says "I told you so," it's not mean. 

She wears cute clothes and her hairs always look good and I think her only fault is that her feet are not the same size as mine, so I can't borrow her shoes. And you know that's sad, because they are always cute.

She learns from her experiences. She has ambition and gumption. She is probably going to be the president one day. Whenever I'm hanging out with her and my dad calls, he tells me how great he thinks she is. Also, Nicole does the same thing.

So on behalf of my dad, Nicole, Chuck Bass, those 25 boys, and of course, myself: Happy birthday, Winnie! I hope it was the best day ever :)

Smooth Move, Ferguson

Here's the thing about me: I love The Bachelor(ette). I love watching all those guys / girls compete for the love of one woman / man. But I have never had any interest in taking part of such a competition. (Except for that one time when I had a lapse of judgment and almost tried out to be on the show.) So, with that in mind.....

Dear Boy,

Thank you for the invite. I'm sure the other girl was just as excited when you invited her as I was when you invited me. It's kind of cute the way you thought that would be a good idea.

I guess I should apologize for the way I so blatantly refused to play along. I'm sorry that I can count the number of times I spoke to you on one hand. I'm sorry that when I told you I was bringing some friends, I forgot to mention that most of them were boys. I'm sorry that I enjoyed talking to them infinitely more than I enjoyed talking to you. I'm sorry that I didn't look your way whenever you had a supposed-to-be-funny outburst. That must have been frustrating for you, or at least a little annoying.

We all sometimes wish that we were The Bachelor, or The Bachelorette. There's something really exciting about the idea of a bunch of people all vying for your affection. And I'm sorry you didn't get to live that dream like you maybe were hoping. It just doesn't work as well when one of the competitors refuses to compete.

But it was fun.....really. Here's hoping that you have a happy semester, Boy. May your judgment improve dramatically.

Sincerely,
Me.

PS: Lest you think that this was the only mistake you made: Strike one was when you failed to impress my friends. Strike two was when you hated on One Direction. Suchhh a bad choice.

Spice Up your Closing Ceremonies

So, I was really tired today.

Probably about as tired as one might be if they had gone to bed at 6 in the morning.

Imagine watching the Closing Ceremonies of the Summer 2012 Olympics feeling like that.

It got a little bit trippy.

Which is why I decided to do this post on how I would have improved the Closing Ceremonies if I were the one in charge! Ehm:

1. I would have gotten rid of the roller-skating nuns. What? What was that?

2. I would have changed Jessie J's outfit. I would have given her a really fluffy charcoal-gray sparkly tulle skirt to wear with her leotard.

3. I would have reunited the Beatles. If the Spice Girls could come back together, so could the Beatles! [John Lennon and George Harrison would just have to work something out. It's the Olympics. Get it together, guys.]

4. I would not have formed anyone's face with weird white puzzle pieces.

5. I would have kindly asked Annie Lennox to not perform.

How scary is this woman??

6. I would have definitely kept the Spartans out of it.

7. I would have given One Direction a cooler stage. If Annie Lennox gets a pirate ship, my boys definitely deserve something a little fancier.

Also, they would have been given a solid hour. And since I would be the one in charge, I would be on stage with them. And they'd be singing right to me. 

8. You KNOW there would have been no Russell Brand in my Closing Ceremonies.

9. Prince Harry would get double the face time that he did.

At least double. 

10. George Michael would not have sung "Freedom" or whatever the heck he sang. He would have sung "Faith."

  

11. The Spice Girls would not have stopped after only two songs. They would have stopped after.....twenty songs.

12. Victoria Beckham would have given me her dress after the Closing Ceremonies were over. (Also her husband.) What?

If only I really had been in charge. Even McKayla would have to be impressed.

via