(Almost) In-and-(promptly back) out

Every day, on my way home from work, I get smacked in the face by the smell of this:

Hello California, thanks for the calories.

Uhhhh. But don't panic! I have developed several coping mechanisms, including:

- moving to the left lane so I can't turn into that place
- only buying a burger if I can buy it with cash
- and never buying fries
- eating a little snack before I leave school so I'm not so hungry on the drive home
- keeping the windows rolled up tight and trying not to inhale when I pass it
- although that never works, because the smell is very insistent
- reminding myself that I have a friend who works there, and it will be embarrassing if I go too often.

Usually, at least one of these coping mechanisms works and I make it home and it's fine. But sometimes, I'm driving home, and I forget to get in the left lane, and I smell that smell, and someone takes my steering wheel and forces me to turn in to that parking lot. And sometimes I really deserve it, and a hamburger is, after all, a good source of protein, and I mean really, $2.10 for a meal is not bad. So I forgive myself and move on and feel all happy.

Today I was feeling a little down-in-the-dumps as I was driving home, and even though I wasn't really all that hungry, I decided I needed to treat myself! And I thought, they have served hash browns in my school cafeteria for 2 days and I have wanted those little buggers both days, and I haven't gotten them, so I might as well get myself some fries from In-n-Out!

So I turned in. And that's where I saw her.

She was driving a green Jeep Cherokee. Her hairs were piled in a little nest on top of her head. Her husband sat in the passenger seat, and three tweenage kids sat in the back. Her arm flab sat happily on her rolled-down window.

The line for the drive-through was quite long, so it went out into the parking lot, and even though she was next in line, I didn't see her when I pulled up. Neither did the Toyota Corolla pulling up from the other side, so we both started edging up, trying to find a good spot to get in line. We saw each other. We both waved apologetically and stopped.

Only then did I notice the nest-haired Cherokee driver. She had already noticed me, of course, and was gesturing and talking angrily at her husband about the whole thing.

Even though she had chosen an absolutely asinine place to continue the line at the drive-thru, I acknowledged that she had been there first, and was before me in line. So I smiled and waved to let her know that I knew that she was before me in the line.

She nodded ferociously and pointed this way and that to clarify that I was darn right about that. A little piece of hair flipped out of her nest and fell down into her eyes. Her husband said something. She turned and snarled something at him.

She looked ridiculous. I gave her a huge smile and a thumbs-up to let her know we could still be friends.

She tried to give me a thumbs-up in return, but got a hand-twitch at the last second and her thumb didn't quite make it. Another finger subbed in.

And that's when I realized, I cannot eat here. I might turn into her. I cannot do that. I cannot be someone who gets mad in the drive-thru line of In-n-Out. I will not stand for it. I put Carbaby in reverse. I surrendered my spot in line. I got out while I still could.

This experience may be the most powerful coping mechanism yet.

Like Winnie the Pooh? But Better

There was this one time, two years ago, when all the bachelors in Utah got lucky.

Or 25 of them at least. Originally it was only supposed to be 21 bachelors, but it ended up being 25-ish. Why did they get lucky all at once, you ask? It's because they happened to know a girl named Christine, and she happened to plan a great surprise for her friend's 21st birthday. And that surprise involved Winnie stepping into a dark room and being surprised by a party that was attended by 21 smokin' hot men who handed her a rose, one by one, and kissed her.

There were supposed to be 21, but like I said before, there ended up being 25-ish. They basically begged to be included, and Christine didn't want to exclude anyone. This might seem surprising to some people in Provo, since not every girl has a boy clamoring after her for a kiss, much less 25. But the better you get to know Winnie, the less surprising it is.

We were babies when we met. BABIES I tell you. There we were, fresh-faced and bushy-tailed, sitting on the grass for freshman orientation. Who could have known then that over the course of our freshman year.....

1. I would spend approximately 3 nights every week sleeping on Winnie's couch instead of my own bed, which was a whole floor away from Winnie's apartment. 

2. We would make friends with some lovely people who we are still friends with today. 

3. We would go to a preference dance that we creatively asked boys to. 

4. We would get our Tucano's free meal cards in the mail at the same time, which would start a glorious tradition of us going to Tucano's for lunch on a weekend close to our birthdays.

5. We would both buy each other ice cream on account of some exciting first kisses. 

6. We would eat lunch together almost err day. We would also eat lots of other meals together. Like every time we had a test coming up and we had to study, so naturally we would eat instead.....

7. She would act as mediator during some interesting interactions with the roommates. We would design a peace pipe made of a paper towel roll and some scrapbook paper for this interaction. We would also come wearing these homemade headbands. 

8. We would be rewarded for the hours we spent mentoring elementary-schoolers with a tour of the football stadium and locker room. We would be more excited about this tour than the elementary-schoolers we were mentoring. 

 

 9. We would cuddle. At least, that's what some people would call what you see happening in that picture below....

 10.We would develop a greater appreciation for animals, like the ones we would visit in the Bean Museum. Also, like Cosmo the Cougar.

11. We would become such good friends that she would come and visit me on the East Coast that summer! During which trip, we would go to DC, NYC, New Jersey (on accident), and Baltimore.

12.  We would continue to party like (Mormon) rock stars when we were sophomores and juniors in college. We thought we would grow up after freshman year.

....but we only kind of did.

 13. We would turn into men for a night. 

 14. At some point, we would also turn into a genie and a shawty, respectively.

15.  We would take a week off from real life with some other friends from freshman year. Instead of going to classes or work, we would spend it in Vegas and California, sampling sodas from around the world, posing by palm trees, celebrating the wonderful Walt Disney, and soaking up the sun. 

Don't worry. We wouldn't feel any remorse about it. 

It's not often that you find someone who will be such a good friend as Winnie is. She is loyal and funny and thoughtful. She is a hard worker, but she makes time to have fun. She gives such good advice, and even when she says "I told you so," it's not mean. 

She wears cute clothes and her hairs always look good and I think her only fault is that her feet are not the same size as mine, so I can't borrow her shoes. And you know that's sad, because they are always cute.

She learns from her experiences. She has ambition and gumption. She is probably going to be the president one day. Whenever I'm hanging out with her and my dad calls, he tells me how great he thinks she is. Also, Nicole does the same thing.

So on behalf of my dad, Nicole, Chuck Bass, those 25 boys, and of course, myself: Happy birthday, Winnie! I hope it was the best day ever :)

Beach Bums

Disney Land is a pretty magical place, but the next stop on our vacation was every bit as magical, in my opinion. It was a bit of a hassle in the assle to get to, but when we got there, it was so worth it!

"The pimp-friend-turned-tour guide, formerly known as Steve"

"Can you hold this please? In your face...." -Steve

S: Can you imagine life without GPS?
W: Can you imagine life without....cell phones, or cars, or World of Colors....

W: I really hope this is the beach house. Otherwise I'm just going to break in and pretend it is.
S: Oh hey, are you my dad's client? No? Well, now you are!

"I don't even want to drive after this. Like at all. I will let my body eat itself." -Steve

"Thanks for the love honk, dude." -Steve

"This GPS is stupid. I want to punch it." -Steve

H: You guys are such novices at being lost. See, I get lost all the time, so this is like, no big deal. Oooh, look at that pretty rose!
S: Maybe that's why you get lost all the time....
H: Huh?
S: Oooh! A flower! That's what you do when you get lost??

And then, we arrived. It was almost midnight, and we all just kind of stumbled into the beach house and dropped our stuff.

You guys. It was the cutest beach house I have ever been in. It was so adorable! There was a little kitchen, a little living room, two bedrooms, and two bathrooms. The best part? The beach was right outside the back door.

Despite Steve's earlier declaration that he never wanted to drive again, we did end up driving to the grocery store, where we got food like real people. Like groceries that real people eat. 

The next morning, I was woken up by Winnie saying: "Heather! Go look outside! It's a beautiful day!" I was so excited that I rolled out of bed and ran straight to the ocean to dip my toes in. If I could wake up every day to such a declaration, I would not even mind that. 

The rest of our time in Newport Beach is a blur of frozen bananas, sand castles, honkin huge starfish, beachside barbecues, healthy people, frisbee lessons, souvenir shopping, Jersey Shore, $300 palm trees, and absolutely no hanky panky.

H: I have a coupon for a free package of hot dogs if we want to use that?

T: For where?

W: Any grocery store. Anywhere that sells balls.....

"You're gorgeous, don't stop!" -Skater boy

"And tell Steve he's the luckiest man in California. He's driving around with the three most powerful women currently in California....he could run for governor right now if he wanted to. I never would have been able to get 3 girls to go to the beach with me. I want to know what kind of aftershave he's wearing!" -my dad

Beach Bum #1: Hey, where did I park my Mercedes?

Beach Bum #2: I think it was next to my BMW...

Beach Bum #3: Oh yeah, didn't we double-park?

"Hey Steve. If you really want, you can kiss me on the cheek, since the sun is setting on the beach." -Christine

S: Kimmy used to kick me there all the time.

K: Yeah, and every time I did, my dad would like pull aside and tell me why I couldn't do that. And I still. Did it.

S: I'd love to just....sit on the beach in a beach chair and have a talk with Jesus.

H: You're so California....

H: I feel like we aren't being as funny today.

Ch: That's because we actually got some sleep....

"I was in the bathroom, getting fresh to death, like I do....." -Mike (Jersey Shore)

T: And then she kinda just left me hangin'....

H: "Left me hangin'?" Is that really a phrase you want to be using in this story?

The Price is Right

California is the home of many famous people. One of those people is named Drew Carey, and he is famous because he hosts TV shows. One of those TV shows is "The Price is Right." If you've never seen it, it's a show where all these people win cars and BBQ grills and tons of money. I need a car for next semester, so this was my plan for how to get one. 

Unfortunately, cars are never free, even when you win one on TV. Even when Oprah gives one to everyone in the audience. Our chance at winning a car cost us our sleep. 

Kimmy and Tyler got to California at about midnight, and we looked up information on the show. Everyone online advised us to be in line at the studio by at least 4. They insisted that anyone who showed up any later hadn't even gotten in the studio. The line was around the block by 3. If we didn't get in line by 2, we would be fed to crocodiles for our tardiness. Etc.

We took turns taking naps and showering and getting ready. Then, at 4:30, we drove to the studio.

There were three people in line. I know, I know. It is shocking that everything on the internet is not 100% accurate. Weird.

We got in line behind the.....crazed mob.....set up our lawn chairs, and started taking pictures.

For some reason, I didn't feel tired enough to sleep. So I just sat there and chatted and txtd and watched the sun rise and got all excited about winning my car. (*Side note - the whole time we were getting ready and sitting and waiting, I thought it was really funny to keep saying, "You get a car! You get a car! And you get a car!" like Oprah. Do you think that's funny? Cuz I did.)

The rest of the morning is a little bit of a blur, but includes the following:

-Entering the girls bathroom and encountering a grown man who was....waiting for his mom?

-And leaving. And waiting for him to leave before re-entering. 

-Getting interviewed by Sexy-man Stan, the producer. His picture is below. 

                            

Our interview went something like this:

Stan: Hi, Heather. How are you doing?

Me: !!!!! Oh! Good, how are you? (smiling like a crazy person....)

Stan: Good, good. And what is it you do?

Me: I teach! I'm a student! I go to....I....okay. Ha sorry! I'm a student at BYU, but I'm going to be a 2nd grade teacher in August. 

Stan: Okay, so you're not teaching til August, that means you have lots of time to watch The Price is Right?

Me: Oh! Yeah! I do!

Stan: Yeah? 

Me: Yeah!

Stan: What's your favorite game on the show?

Me: (I have never seen a single episode.) Plinko! (I barely heard this word mere hours before my interview....)

Stan: Oh yeah, what do you like about it?

Me: (I have heard about it?) I just like it, it's so fun to say. Plinko! You know? 

Stan: Yeah, what's not to like about a game where you don't have to do anything but drop something and hope you win, right?

Me: Yeah!

Stan: Okay, well maybe we'll get you up on the show for some Plinko-playing. 

Me: That would be great!

Stan: (on the next person). 

Our morning also included:

-Sharing a $10 hamburger and fries. We called it our entrance fee and felt a little better, since getting into the show was free. 

-Having a huge back-scratching fest and napping all over each other before being let into the studio. 

-Laughing at the guys sitting across from us who were obviously impressed and a little baffled by Steve's steeze, as he was the token male in a group of 3 girls and it looked like all of them constantly wanted him to sit by them / talk to them / scratch their backs....

-Getting my scissors confiscated until the end of the show.

H: Winnie was the mom in Las Vegas

Ch: I was the mom at Disney

H: I can be the mom at the beach!

S: Who's your daddy??

-Seeing the studio in real life and almost dying because it was so dang cute. 

-Needing to pee. Sooooo, frick-innn, ba-ad. 

-Dancing around to YMCA, Dynamite, All I do is Win, and other wonderful songs to get us pumped about winning. 

-Being sat in the FRONT ROW, right behind the contestant pulpits, what's uppp!?

-Sitting 5 feet away from this guy (below)

-Discovering that that guy is kind of rude in real life....and feeling a little less dazzled. 

-Kind of falling in love with this guy:

He is the announcer guy. He was wearing a white suit with a pink shirt and looked so fly, and was way nicer than Drew!

**IMPORTANT!!! If you want to see me on TV, or my friends, or that guy in the picture above who I kind of fell in love with, our show will be airing on MAY 10th, 2012. And our faces will be all up on your screen. And you will feel a little more famous, because you know me. And I'm not sure, but you might see me smack a stranger's butt. But the details are a little fuzzy. So maybe that didn't happen. There's only one way to find out!**

To continue, the afternoon included:

-Walking dazedly out of the studio and into the sunlight. 

-Somehow making our way back to the car and back to Steve's house. 

-Napping on a merry-go-round bed: as soon as one person was done showering, they woke up the next person and took their spot on the bed. 

-Going to Universal City Walk for dinner at Bucca di Beppo and eating the best meal any of us has ever experienced! 

-Leaving Bucca di Beppo to run around City Walk and take the following pictures:

pregnant.....

The boys were actually really good at humoring us with these pictures. They just kept taking them and throwing out suggestions and encouragement. And the picture above was taken through someone's legs....so you know that is real commitment to a craft.

The roads in La Canda are pretty windy and curvy, and because of that, conversations like this happen:

W: Steve, are you taking us to a lookout point?

S: Oh! Do you guys want to go to one?

C: YES!

W: I can't believe Steve's taking us all to a lookout point right now. 

H: Yeah, I feel like we need some sort of initiation ceremony....

Ch: Ahhh! (scrabbling at the car door handle, trying to get out)

H: How do you know about this lookout point?

W: Yeah, how many girls have you kissed up here?

S: Actually, I don't think I've.....ever kissed a girl up here. (Totally unconcerned)

Later, while we're at the lookout point....

C: Okay, Steve. If you really want to say you've kissed someone up here, you can kiss me on the cheek. 

S: I'm alright.....

(Everyone dying of laughter as we get back in the car)

S: Do you want to go up higher?

H: Oh yeah, Christine might make out with you if we go any higher!

In conclusion, it was a lovely lookout point. And we all kept our spit to ourselves. 

Christine

Once upon a time, life was pretty good at Wyview Park. Everyone was making friends with everyone else. We felt so comfortable and content.

And then, we heard that a new girl was moving in. We wondered about her. We facebook-stalked her. We caught glimpses of her. And one day, just before Halloween, we met her.

One of my friends txtd me: "The new girl is here!" I grabbed my bowl of food and ran to her apartment.

"Oh hey, guys!" I said. Very casually. "How's everyone's day going?" Obviously no one would suspect that I was just there to meet the new girl and form an opinion of her. Especially not when she came out into the living room and I practically barked, "HI! Are you the new roommate? I'm Heather."

She kindly pretended like I was normal and said hi back and introduced herself. Her name was Christine.

She looked like this:

We loved her immediately. 

Freshman year was only made better by Christine moving into Wyview. One time, she organized an activity where we made caramel apples. And I'm not sure how, but somehow, this picture came out of it. And I'm so happy it did. For obvious reasons.

Christine is a super-fun friend to have because she is always up for a fun activity! The fall semester activity our freshman year was themed something princessy or knighty or royal in some way, so a bunch of us dressed up as princesses. Amazingly, Christine made her Sleeping Beauty costume. She is so talented and stuff!

Another time, we went to whiteout night at Studio 600 in Salt Lake. It was so much fun! Oh, even though half of us didn't get in because all we had for ID's were out student ID's. It was still fun dressing up for it!

Christine and I weren't roommates when we were freshmen, even though we might as well have been. (I think I slept in my own bed.....maybe 3 nights a week. The rest of my nights were spent on either Winnie's couch or Christine's.) But we repented of that and lived together our sophomore year! I remember flying back to Utah, walking into my room, and finding little post-it notes all over. They said things like, "All of this shelf space is yours" and "You can switch sides if you want, I don't mind either way :)" and "I missed you! Welcome home!"

Another point I feel like I should make: Christine is stylish and photogenic. Sometimes when she was my roommate she would have me pick her outfit for Sunday and it was always kind of like a grand privilege because she has such cute and classy dresses!

Christine is awesome because she is spontaneous. We did a ton of random fun things together, from dancing in the rain to Leggers on the couch to hitting up the Lehi Rodeo. And they were all so. fun. 

I am so happy that Christine went with me to Florida to work at Disney. We had an amazing time together! We danced with some Moroccans, went to Universal Studios, laid out at the pool to listen to general conference, struggled with the crappy internet, and got wonderfully tan. Christine was a lifeguard, so obviously she got the most tan. And the boys loved her. One beautiful Australian boy even took her to Universal Studios!

We were in Florida for Valentines Day, and when I got back to my apartment after work, I found a pink heart-shaped lollipop and a handwritten card on my bed from Christine. It was such a sweet card and you better believe I still have it! 

When we were in Florida, we weren't going to school. I love Christine as a student, too, but when she doesn't have school to worry about, she is only just fun. All the time.

I love these pictures because, look! Christine is always willing to make a face or do a silly pose for a picture with me. She doesn't act embarrassed or always offer to take the picture so she doesn't have to be in it. Which is valuable!

Tan tan, can you do the tan tan?

 Christine is wonderful because all of my other friends like her too! When Caitlin, Christine and I went to the Lehi Roundup, we all had so much fun together. When Nicole came out to visit a few weeks ago and Christine practiced how she could approach a random hot stranger on the beach, Nicole couldn't stop talking about how hilarious Christine was. When Christine met two of my guy friends, they thought she was hot. Obviously. 

Christine is inclusive and diplomatic. I love how she plans things and invites me to them! I also love how she is thoughtful of other people's feelings. One time, my friends were teasing me about how bad I am at directions. Just to put it out there, I am terrible at directions, and I didn't really mind the teasing. But then Christine piped up and said, "Actually! Heather really impressed me in Florida, she was good at driving there." It was just a simple thing to say, and even though I wasn't on the verge of tears or anything, it made me feel so good to get that little bit of credit!

Christine is always there for important events. She is super-busy with work and school, but she has come every year to Tucano's for my birthday. When we plan something, she is there. I love that I can count on her :)

Christine is cool because she is lots of different things. She is fun to go dancing with! She is easy to have deep conversations with. We have great conversations and boys and kissing! Then we sit next to each in church and be reverent. She is a great mom at amusement parks! She also takes the best pictures on the teacups. She looks great with blonde hair! She looks fabulous with dark hair! She can't be stopped!

Christine is an example to me in so many ways. One way is her selflessness! Check out this recent blog post of hers for proof of that. And then follow her blog, because it is greatly entertaining. 

 New girls don't always become lifelong friends, but with Christine, I would say we all got incredibly lucky. Next year, we will both be graduating, and I can't wait to take a million more fun pictures together in our caps and gowns! Especially because I'm sure they won't be the last pictures we take :) Happy birthday Christine! You are awesome!