Awkward Turtle

Life can get a little awkward when……….

- You go to an elementary school (where you are supposed to be a teacher) and happen to be wearing the same skirt as one of the students.

-Someone asks how you and this boy know each other and the boy in question quickly replies “We flirt in church.”

-You go to buy a car and learn all about the dealer, including, but not limited to: his conversion to the church, the story of his move from Iran to America, how many kids are in his family, the life story of his favorite son, the story of the time he switched careers from making crowns and bridges for teeth to selling cars, his political leanings…..

-You can’t even bring yourself to smile at the people working at FedEx because that place is a joke and you feel a little bit like they are waxing your nostrils with duct tape because of how much everything costs.

-Sooomebody has to stand up and say how great of a game kissing rugby is, and no one else steps up to the plate, so it ends up being you. And then you’re that girl.

-You tell a few people that you are considering going back to your old ward this upcoming Sunday, and every last one of them responds: “Oh, there are no cute boys in your new ward?”

-And you have to admit that no, there are not.


-You have a dream that you are serving a mission and your mission president's wife is giving a presentation to welcome you to the mission, and she announces that Matt Damon is in the boundaries of the mission, and he loves the missionaries, so feel free to get rides with him whenever, but don't kiss him. She goes on, "It is soooo hard not to kiss him. But don't do it. My gosh. It's, like really hard." And then all the other sister missionaries turn to you and nod and confirm that it is so hard not to kiss him. 

-Also, Arie was supposed to be going to your mission, too, but he broke his leg right before. So that's a bummer. 

-You have to tell a dealer that you don’t want their car, and you find yourself channeling your inner Emily Maynard in the hopes that you will be able to break up with the dealer as gracefully as she broke up with 24 guys.

-You call your mom every day at the same time to ask her to get you un-lost again.

-You seriously consider going to the dollar theater to watch “The Lucky One” by yourself, since your Zac Efron fan friend is currently in a different state and your other friends expressed specific disdain for the fact that he won some Teen Choice Awards.

But for real, how could you find fault with this?

-You watch Toddlers and Tiaras and it has the opposite of the intended effect on you. As in, you watch it and kind of want to put your children in pageants….

-Someone txts you "Be there in a sex."

-The next day, someone else txts you "Ok, see you in a sex."

-Both someones are immediately horrified and correct themselves. Both someones get a txt from you that says, "I'm sexcited!" because you are convinced that it wasn't only funny the first time and that this is a joke that is okay to repeat with different audiences.

-You fill out a damage sheet for the apartment you just moved into, which is the same apartment you painted 2 years ago, and in the spot where it asks about whether the walls are white or painted, you not only list the colors of all the walls but also compliment them.

-You go to buy 50 composition notebooks, 25 pencil boxes, 25 highlighters, 50 colored pens, 30 dry erase markers, 25 desk name tags, 50 boxes of crayons, 60 erasers, 48 glue sticks, and 100 folders at Walmart, and the cashier asks: "Are you a teacher?"

-And you respond, "No, I just have a lot of kids." 

-And for a second, he looks like he believes you.

-You txt a friend and accidentally ask what time "Capture the Fag" is going to start.

-You meet the worst boy ever at the pool, and he is the really persistent kind who keeps trying to talk to you and your friends, despite your blatantly rude body language that clearly says "don't talk to me, in fact would you please go crawl into a hole because that's how annoying you are...."

-You go to a baseball game and are told by the little girl sitting in front of you “Okay, I won’t lick your legs. But they sure do look tasty!”

-You go to the bank to deposit a check like an adult and the banker goes to shake your hand and asks what your name is, and you have to shift everything you're holding to the other hand and pull the lollipop out of your mouth to answer, and you realize that no amount of check-depositing will truly make you into an adult. 

-You and your sister make cupcakes for a friend for her birthday. They are the best cupcakes ever. Then, you don't know where she lives, so you just eat a couple while you wait on getting her address.

-On a possibly related note, you learn, through personal experience, that it is indeed possible to eat 18 cupcakes in 5 days. By yourself. 

And finally, it can get a little awkward when all the things on this list are actually the little things that make your life really enjoyable :)

Aimees

One day, I was sitting in my apartment at Raintree, just hanging out, doing homework maybe. The door opened. Chelsea bounced in, and behind her, a person with poofy hair followed.

"Hi!" the poofy-headed person said. She flashed a huge smile at me. "I'm Aimee!"

"Heather!" Chelsea said, also smiling hugely. "This is Aimee! She's my friend!"

"Hi!" I said. Their smiles were contagious. "I'm Heather -"

"I'm so happy to meet you!" Aimee said. (I believed her. She was practically giddy about it.)

For a few weeks, I just knew Aimee as Chelsea's friend. But then, she moved into our apartment, and she became my roommate, and then my friend too, and then one of my very best friends. And now, she is one of my very best friends.....who is one year older!

Aimee is one of the funniest people I know. She is constantly making me laugh, and something else that is great about her is that she also laughs a lot. So sometimes I feel like I'm really funny when we are hanging out.

When we were roommates in Raintree, we had a lot of fun together. One time, we had a girls night with Chelsea, and we all went to see Dear John at the dolla theater. The movie sucked. The company did not. So we tried again, another time, with New Moon. This time, we all wore our respective boyfriend's clothes. Both times, it was worth the dollar, because we at least had fun hanging out with each other :)

Aimee is always supportive of my ideas. I don't know why, because a lot of the time, they are not that great. Like this one time when I really wanted to check the mail, but it was raining, so I couldn't go by myself! Aimee pulled on mismatching boots and a jacket and off we went. She is so accommodating.

Another time, I wanted to do the Bikini Body workout for our Girls Night. Aimee did it with me. I loved it. She hated it. She only just complained a little bit, but she did it with me!

We also took super-fierce pictures together. She loves America's Next Top Model, and I like it, so usually when she is around, I get hooked on it again. The results are, obviously, worth the time spent on it.

Yep.

Aimee is super-sharing. She is so domestic - she can make anything, tortillas or chicken dumplings or parmesan broccoli or syrup or lemon raspberry cupcakes or cake cookies. And she doesn't just make delicious food. She shares it, too! She always took care of me when we were roommates. She still takes care of me when we are not roommates, by giving me rides to work or bringing me yummy foods she made or sending me encouraging txts (or having her husband txt me funny things) or putting candy all over my bed after I fall asleep on a particularly bad night.

Aimee is a life guard sometimes and also a swim teacher. Therefore, she gets suuuuper-tan and super-blonde in the summertime. And I spend lots of time being jealous of her. I've never seen her teach swimming, but I know she is great at it. Aimee has awesome management skills and I'm so happy that she switched her major to Elementary Education. She is going to be such an amazing elementary school teacher! We are going to share lessons with each other all the time.

Aimee is always happy for me when something good happens to me. She is also such a good listener. She's just good at talking to people and getting them to talk about themselves (and especially their farts). Sometimes, I go into our conversations thinking, "Okay. This time, we're going to talk about Aimee." And then the conversation goes something like this:

me: Tell me about bla! How did it go?

her: It was fun! How did this go?

me: It was great!

her: Did this happen?

me: Yeah! (elaborate)

her: Oh awesome! What about this?

me: Oh! (elaborate more). How was this for you?

her: It was okay. Hey, did this ever happen?

me: No...(elaborate).

Do you see what I mean? I don't know how, but somehow she always turns the conversation back to me. She is selfless and encouraging and kind. She is smart and hardworking and hilarious. She got the hottest bridals taken I have ever seen. I love her! And I think she deserves everything good in the world :)

Minions and Muppets

Now that Nicole is visiting again, it seems that I should probably be finished blogging about the last time she visited by now. So, as promised, here is Part 2 of the Visit d' Nicole: Minions and Muppets.

When we left of, the three sisters were happily lounging on the couch in my apartment, watching Surf's Up on a Friday night. Saturday dawned with bright new adventures, beginning with a trip to the Pizza Pie Cafe with some really awesome and attractive people. Let me tell you, that was a good choice. If I didn't get a free meal at Tucano's every year for my birthday, I might have to go to PPC instead. The dessert pizza alone is enough to get me in the door and $7 poorer. Also I made some delicious pasta sauce.

Those in attendance: Kelly and Dahl, Nicool and I, Philipe, Jared, Troy Toy, Winnifred, Christine, the infamous MP, Steve Johnson.

In case you're wondering, Steve and I randomly match on a regular basis. It's weird, and neither of us has an explanation.

We ate for about 2 hrs. It's times like that, when I'm sitting at a table in the Pizza Pie Cafe with 12 slices of pizza on 3 plates in front of me, that I feel like I really live a charmed life. And a fat one. But whatever.

After PPC, Kelly, Nicole and I had some girl time! We went to the dolla theater and watched The Muppets. We felt a little disappointed. We encouraged all the people, via our blogs, not to watch it. We cheered up because it had, after all, only been a dollar for each of us.

Then we walked all over Provo. It was such a beautiful day and we were happy to spend so much time walking and talking with each other.

It seems like all day, we just walked from meal to meal. We hung out at my apartment for a minute, made an amazing video for an amazing sister, and then walked to the Creamery on 9th for kids meals.

Here is the video:

Based off of this video:

For this girl:

Christine joined us for both the movie-making and the kids meal eating. We had a great system for eating our kids ice creams at the Creamery, called everyone took a bite and then passed their ice cream to the right. Try it sometime if you are not afraid of germs and love a variety of ice creams :)

The fry sauce was a cause of great frustration.

The next day, Sunday, we went to Lindon for Jordan Lee's mission homecoming. She was Kelly's roommate freshman year and is so sweet. We love her and it's happy to have her back in Utah!

And then, Nicole left. (I am not that sad about it right now because she is meeting me for lunch in 5 minutes, so it's not like she left forever.) It was so fun to have her! She is hilarious and of good report and praiseworthy. If you don't already have a testimony of that, you should probably get to know her better :)

A Productive Weekend?

This day was probably my most successful Saturday since I've been in Utah.

First, I went on a field trip to Rock Canyon with my Physical Science 111a lab. This class is one I need to take to be in the ElEd major and it is wonderful. It's twice a week for an hour at a time and we can get a possible 10 points each class period. 6 of these points are for attendance. The other 4 are for attitude. It's classes like these that remind me that I picked the right major :) Anyway the field trip was at 10 and I woke up at 9:36 when Audrey, the girl who gave me a ride, called to say she was on her way over. I got ready in a record 5 minutes and then we drove up to Rock Canyon. The field trip was very fun. There are two boys in my class and neither of them showed up, so I felt a little bit like I was walking around in a girl scout troop or something. The weather was perfect for hiking; the sky was clear, there was a nice breeze, and it wasn't too hot. We walked a little ways up the canyon, stopping at various points to learn about the kinds of rocks we were passing.

After the field trip, Audrey dropped me off at my apartment and Kelly and I went down to campus to study with Scott. Scott is in one of Kelly's classes and they always study together. Today, we were studying in the Tanner Building. I brought my stats notes, since I have a test next week, but I didn't get very much done. I think I just need a study buddy, too!

The game this weekend was at home and it was against Colorado state. After last week's disappointing loss, I was excited to be going to a game that we were "supposed" to win. It was amazing! Here are three things that went right in this game:

1. We won! so of course I would have enjoyed it no matter where I was.

2. I caught a t-shirt! Shade was throwing out these really cute gray t-shirts with the word "Cougs" on the front and I caught one! (I think I caught one last year, too, but it wasn't nearly as cute. Plus, the one I caught this year happened to be a small, which nevvver happens with free shirts, so I was pumpeddd.)

3. We sat in the 5th row! We got rotating tickets this year and we were just put there this time, right in the endzone.

There was just one thing wrong with the game. One of the guys in our section is soooo obNOXious. He is always yelling, whether at the players (on both teams), at the refs, or at the other fans. Seriously everyone in our section hates him. At one point there was a timeout and he started yelling at everyone to stand back up and saying that if we lose it's because of the people who are sitting down. I sat down and turned around to glare at him. Towards the end of the game, people just started talking loudly about him, saying things like, "Ohhhmygosh, seriously so annoying." "I wish some people would shut up!" etc. I'm pretty sure the whole section can't stand him.

When the game was almost over, my roommate Crystal txted me and asked if I wanted to go on a triple date tonight. We got home from the game at 7:30ish, and we were supposed to leave at 8 but that didn't happen. (Thank goodness.)

Pause for a little story about yesterday.

Winnie and Christine wanted to see The Proposal, and even though we had already seen it (and loved it), Kelly and I agreed to go with them. Winnie was at work so the rest of us went to the dollar theater to get tickets and to watch Ice Age before Winnie got off work. Ice Age was sold out so we got our tickets for The Proposal and went to the mall. (Really, what else were we supposed to do?) As we walked in, I swore to myself that I wouldn't buy anything. I didn't need it. I left the mall with two new shirts and my first pair of skinny jeans. Cool. I now love and hate Papaya. Mostly love.

Back to today. So luckily because of this impromptu mini-shopping spree, I had new clothes that I could wear to the date tonight. Crystal didn't know the guy who was my date but he was really nice and it was a lot of fun. We went to Fat Cats and then to Coldstone. I used to go to Fat Cats like twice a week when Jake worked there so it was great to see all the workers again! Kiersten, Kelsee, Jesse and the other manager were all there. The bowling itself was super-fun. I thought since I hadn't bowled in so long, I would be terrible at it, but I actually ended up winning! I got 123 points! I had Kiersten print it out for me because I was so proud. After bowling we went to Coldstone (which was of course delicious) and then to the boy's apartment. We hung out there for a little bit and then they dropped Crystal and I back off at our apartment. It was only about 12 so we decided to go to another party. Kelly came with us to this one. It was a little crazier and I started to get tired, so we didn't stay for too long.

All in all, I think it was a prettyy productive day :)