Life of Late in Pictures

I was going through the pictures on my SMART PHONE the other day and re-discovered the following pictures that tell the story of my life over the last 2 months:

This was from Stephen and my Aloha date night. We made smoothies :)

I obviously spent an exorbitant amount of money on decorations for said date night... 

This is called, my life before my smart phone. Aka, my life in the dark ages, when I either called my mom for directions at least once a week, or looked up directions on someone else's phone and then took a picture of it with my dumbphone. What a wretched existence it was. 

These are the churros that I made for an amazing Mexican (ish) Thanksgiving dinner. They turned out soooo good!

This is my student, J. He made himself into a cyborg one day for indoor recess. 

This is called, I cannot live in this frozen tundra wasteland any longer. Note the icicles on this sad, sad bicycle. That is NOT okay!

This is the "Be" Stephen and I worked on for the month of December. I was very proud of my chalk drawing and took a picture of it. I'm glad I did, because no sooner had I hung it up than Nicole backed into it and got it all over the back of her skirt. 

This is the date card I gave Stephen for our winter wonderland date night!

This was our Christmas tree this year. .........you can see why we needed a reminder to "be positive."

This is the date card I made for the present we gave to both of our parents - a date-in-a-box!  Stephen didn't know that the word "stay-cay" existed. I know I did not make it up. 

This is called, here we are at the airport and we are so excited to be up at 4:30 in the morning and about to be on our way from Indiana to Maryland!

This is the insane line for Southwest Airlines check-in. 

This is called, we did not make our plane. So we went to the Indiana Children's Museum instead! They have so many costumes you can dress up in, like these dinosaur ones. 

.....or these deep sea diver ones.....

or this turtle and butterfly option! I was thrilled. Stephen was a little embarrassed. But still a good sport!

Logan got tired. Stephen is so cute. 

Here was another embarrassing picture I asked Stephen to take. At the Indianapolis airport, there is a shop called "Forever, Heather" and I was not about to miss that golden opportunity! His hands are supposed to look like a heart. Because he hearts me. Forever. 

Be Grateful

It shouldn't be hard to be grateful when the world is your oyster, but I'm glad for this Thanksgiving season when we all have time to specifically think about our blessings. I love that Thanksgiving comes before Christmas, which can so easily turn into a season of demands.

Here are some of the things I am grateful for right now:

-zucchini squash, which is actually the best vegetable ever.

-Marjorie Pay Hinckley, a very classy lady with whom I would love to have a tea party one day. Minus the tea.

-our crockpot, which I am very obsessed with.

-neutral-colored shirts that I can wear with lots o' things.

-toilet paper rolls that you can use to make wreaths and whatever else you want basically!

-off-track time, when I get so much done and get to sleep in.

-cell phones, I do not know how people survived without them.

-wrapping paper, how much boring-er would Christmas be if you couldn't wrap presents!?

-photo books that I get for freeeee

-Stephen and my similar attitudes on fiscal matters.

-that I went to BYU and now when I'm filling out surveys I can click the "Bachelor's Degree" option instead of "Some college."

-Italian Ice.

-my ring that I don't think I'm ever going to get over.

-leggings, so I can wear whatever skirts I want and not be cold!

-that my eyebrows are blonde so I don't have to pluck them that much because no one really notices if I don't

-Stephen, who I love more and more err day.

Just a Little Rain

Last Saturday, something very exciting happened for BYU. We won the football game! It was a pretty crazy game and lots of my friends posted all up on Facebook about how fun it was to be there, even though they got soaked. (It started raining during the game.)

And ALL I have to say to them is, my goodness, you do look wet, mind if I share my story now?

Because you see, Stephen and I really like going on hikes. Utah has some beautiful hikes, it's a fun way to be outdoorsy and in shape without going running, and it doesn't hurt that we got engaged on a hike, either. So when he asked me on Saturday afternoon if I wanted to go on a hike, I said yes. 

We were on our way to hike Squaw Peak when Julie called. Nicole's mission call had arrived! She would be opening it in 3 hours. 

"We're not afraid," we declared boldly. After all, the sun was shining. It was barely 75*, perfect weather for hiking, and we were two in-shape (ish) people who could certainly make it to the top of a mountain and back down in 2 1/2 hours. Armed with our phones and water bottles, we set off up the mountain. 

Our hikes typically go something like this: 

Phase 1 - Optimism in togetherness

Phase 2 - Optimism in individual hiking

Phase 3 - Pessimism in individual hiking

Phase 4 - Elation in reaching the top 

Phase 5 - Energy and renewed optimism in the downhill slope

Phase 6 - Self congratulations in our completion of the hike.

Allow me to offer a more detailed description of these phases, in terms of this particular hike.

PHASE ONE

We hike hand-in-hand. We are both chatty and smiley. We are enjoying nature. We are enjoying one another's company. It's so much fun! Hiking is so fun! Whoa endorphins! I feel excited, optimistic, and a little bit euphoric.

PHASE TWO

The hiking is still fun. I am still appreciating nature and enjoying myself. I am no longer enjoying Stephen's company, though, because he has decided to plow ahead. I sometimes catch a glimpse of his red shirt through the trees. Sometimes he pauses and waits for me to almost catch up before taking off again. I am okay with this. Britney Spears joins me on my own personal hike. 

PHASE THREE

"The hiking is still fun," I insist to myself as Selena Gomez starts to serenade me. "The hiking is still fun," Stephen insists to himself as he stops to wait for me again. I vaguely remember a time in this very same hike where I tried to keep up with him. It's a vague memory because at this point, I have decided that if Stephen is going to be 8 miles ahead of me, I might as well take a break whenever I feel like it. So I do. And since I don't love running up mountains, but I do love walking up mountains, the hike starts to really be enjoyable again. 

It was at this point in the hike when we made a new friend - a rattlesnake!

He rattled at us because we were on his turf. Then he slowly inched off the trail to let us pass. We slowly inched around him. Stephen asked if my phone had reception, so I called my dad to check that it did. My dad was barely able to hear me, but he did hear me tell him that we saw a rattlesnake and we were on a hike. I hung up, put my phone back in my pocket, and we continued on our merry way. 

PHASE FOUR

"It looks like it's going to rain," Stephen said, looking at the sky.

"Maybe we should head back?" I said. "We can't miss Nicole's mission call opening!"

"We'll be fine," Stephen said. "We're so close to the top. We seriously will be there in like another 4 minutes. And then it won't take long at all to get down." 

Famous last words, hissed our friend the rattlesnake. We didn't listen to him. We just kept going. 

Stephen was right; it really didn't take us long to get to the top. When you hike Squaw Peak, you climb up the mountain until you get to this meadow platform place, and then when you walk to the edge of the meadow, you get this awesome view, supposedly. 

I say supposedly because we actually didn't walk to the edge of the meadow and look out off of Squaw Peak and soak in the awesome view. Instead, we got to the meadow and were suddenly enveloped in a cloud.

The cloud swirled around us, spewing water on the meadow and picking up dead leaves to fling at us as we tried to take a picture of ourselves.

We took some pictures of the cloud, but I guess it was a little photo-shy, because instead of smiling for the picture, he started to rain. 

PHASE FIVE

We started down the mountain, hoping the trees would offer some cover, but they didn't. We were literally soaked in a matter of minutes. It was kind of like being at a water park, except you didn't dress for success, so you're wearing normal people clothes inside of a water park. Also, that's not a very good analogy, because water parks are typically pretty fun. And you are trying to get wet. And you on purpose did not bring your phone to any of the fun watery places. 

I think for this hike I really need to split Phase Five into some sub-phases. 

Phase 5A - Panic and adrenaline in running down the mountain

In which I was still trying not to get wet or muddy, and adrenaline was coursing through my veins, and I believed (erroneously) that the trees would provide some protection from the elements. 

Phase 5B - Anger at Stephen and sassiness in running down the mountain

In which I started to blame Stephen for this predicament, and he started laughing at me and apologizing, and I realized it was futile to try to not get wet, and I also realized that my phone was soaked and would probably be no help if either of us got struck by lightning or bitten by the rattlesnake from earlier or smashed by a falling tree, and I started sassing Stephen and this conversation happened:

 Him: Heather, I want to go ahead and apologize....

Me: Shut up. Don't talk to me.

Him: Huh?

Me: I'm s-so, m-mad at you right n-now.   

Was it really his fault? Let's be honest, no....but I was feeling a teeny bit sorry for myself and believed that I deserved to have someone to blame for the whole predicament. 

Phase 5C - The First Fall

I did not feel as enthusiastic as Stephen did about the battle we were fighting against the mud, wind, and rain. I didn't love that my socks were completely soaked. I wasn't thrilled that my shoes would probably never be the same. I was sad to see my phone looking like it took a dip in the Great Salt Lake. I dreaded looking in a mirror and seeing the mess that all of the rain had made of my face. 

Stephen, on the other hand, was as happy as a duck. He was a little nervous about the rattlesnake, and a little nervous about the possibility of electrocution, and also a little nervous about flash flooding. (He kept saying things like, "Heather, I don't want to rush you, but we kinda need to hurry it up because in weather like this there's danger of flash-flooding, and I really don't want us to get caught in a flash flood....") Other than that, though, he was loving the adventure and already planning how he would tell this story later on. 

But all of that enthusiasm evaporated pretty quickly when his feet slipped out from under him and he landed with a splat in the mud. "Okay. This isn't fun anymore," he said. Being the good wife that I am, I took a picture. 

Phase 5D - The Second Fall

I was definitely trying to be careful more than speedy in our descent - hence, the frequent (very kind) reminders from Stephen about flash floods. It's hard to be careful when you are essentially walking down a muddy slide, but I was grabbing onto trees and plants whenever possible to steady myself a little bit.

At one point, I was holding onto a tree with both hands and trying to step around it to avoid a huge mud puddle, when one of my feet slipped. In my head, I knew it was game over, but I couldn't go down without a fight! My hands clenched the tree trunk. My feet started running, trying to get a grip anywhere on the muddy bank. 

And then, I fell, still hanging onto the tree. My whole right side splooshed into some mud. My elbow smacked against the root of the traitorous tree I had thought would save me. 

Stephen ran up the trail and picked me up. "Are you okay?" he asked. His enthusiasm was back. Somehow, seeing someone else fall does that to you. It's okay. I understand. I felt the same way when he fell. 

I kind of wanted to cry as we stood there in the torrential downpour, and Stephen laughed and wiped my hands off, one finger at a time, on his shirt. But then I also kind of wanted to laugh. And I also wanted to take a picture. So I guess both of our enthusiasms were back, and we continued down the trail. 

Phase 5E - The Return of Enthusiasm and also some Apathy

In which we realized we were already muddy and drenched and we really didn't care about trying to stay clean or dry, and all we cared about was getting down off the mountain. 

Phase 5F -  The Last Leg

In which we were finally out of the woods - not out of the rain, but out of the woods, and walking on flat ground towards the parking lot, still getting pelted with rain. We saw an old man with an umbrella walking towards the mountain. I don't know why. I didn't ask. I hope we weren't the last people he would ever see in his life....

Phase 5G - The Drive Home

In which we tore up a cardboard box in the trunk of my car to put on the seats so we didn't ruin them, and also in which we realized that neither of our phones were working, and we had barely 15 minutes before Nicole opened her mission call. 

PHASE SIX

This is when we are usually congratulating ourselves heartily for a hike well done. This time, we were blaring the heat and discussing all the things we I wanted to be eating right then: a Krispy Kreme donut, hot chocolate, a funnel cake, Awful Waffle. I wanted everything. I was convinced that all of those things were essential to my happiness.

We didn't have time to stop by our house, so we just showed up at Kelly and Dahl's house. I'm sure they wondered why a homeless hag and her husband were knocking on their door, but when they recognized us, they let us in and gave us a towel to shiver in while Nicole continued on with her mission call opening. Yes. She had already started. I guess we all know where Stephen and I belong on the totem pole....

Anyway, Nicole is going to Everett, Washington! She will be fabulous. I can't wait for her to write home about all the Twihards she brings to the gospel :)

Unfortunately

I am here to tell you an unfortunate story.

It starts out fortunate, with some cute boys coming and sitting by my roommates and me in Sunday school.

My fortune started to wane a little when I couldn't hear anything that anyone else, the teacher or my classmates, was saying, so I started to color in a missionary letter for one of my best friends.

Which started up the "do you have a missionary?" conversation, which led into the "relationship status" conversation.

Which isn't too unfortunate, until it reminded me that I had to send a txt. And in my head, I was like: "Maybe I shouldn't txt during church. I'm supposed to be paying attention, after all." But since I couldn't hear anything anyway, I figured it would be okay.

So I just leaned myself forward in my little seat. My phone was mere inches from my fingertips.

And then, my heel slipped. I lurched forward. My face smacked the chair in front of me, and every boy in the ward turned to look.

I didn't even know what to do. I turned to the boy next to me and said stupidly, "Did you see what just happened to me?"

Of course he had.

But the story isn't even over there! Because a few minutes later, I decided I could try to get my phone again. I planted my feet firmly on the ground. I leaned forward. My fingers closed around my phone. I started to sit up to type out the txt I had to send.

My phone went clattering to the floor.

I felt like God was really bugged that I kept trying to txt during Sunday School, so I stopped trying then. Unfortunately, this happened several hours ago, and this is still kind of what I look like, in my head:

Schule

I just had the following phone conversation with my little baby sister:

Me: Have you started school yet?

Her: Not yet, we start on the 27th.

Me: Oh wow! Are you excited?

Her: YES!.....sort of......no, not really.

I feel you, girl.

Although every time I see this sign, I get a little bit more excited :)

Awkward Turtle

Life can get a little awkward when……….

- You go to an elementary school (where you are supposed to be a teacher) and happen to be wearing the same skirt as one of the students.

-Someone asks how you and this boy know each other and the boy in question quickly replies “We flirt in church.”

-You go to buy a car and learn all about the dealer, including, but not limited to: his conversion to the church, the story of his move from Iran to America, how many kids are in his family, the life story of his favorite son, the story of the time he switched careers from making crowns and bridges for teeth to selling cars, his political leanings…..

-You can’t even bring yourself to smile at the people working at FedEx because that place is a joke and you feel a little bit like they are waxing your nostrils with duct tape because of how much everything costs.

-Sooomebody has to stand up and say how great of a game kissing rugby is, and no one else steps up to the plate, so it ends up being you. And then you’re that girl.

-You tell a few people that you are considering going back to your old ward this upcoming Sunday, and every last one of them responds: “Oh, there are no cute boys in your new ward?”

-And you have to admit that no, there are not.


-You have a dream that you are serving a mission and your mission president's wife is giving a presentation to welcome you to the mission, and she announces that Matt Damon is in the boundaries of the mission, and he loves the missionaries, so feel free to get rides with him whenever, but don't kiss him. She goes on, "It is soooo hard not to kiss him. But don't do it. My gosh. It's, like really hard." And then all the other sister missionaries turn to you and nod and confirm that it is so hard not to kiss him. 

-Also, Arie was supposed to be going to your mission, too, but he broke his leg right before. So that's a bummer. 

-You have to tell a dealer that you don’t want their car, and you find yourself channeling your inner Emily Maynard in the hopes that you will be able to break up with the dealer as gracefully as she broke up with 24 guys.

-You call your mom every day at the same time to ask her to get you un-lost again.

-You seriously consider going to the dollar theater to watch “The Lucky One” by yourself, since your Zac Efron fan friend is currently in a different state and your other friends expressed specific disdain for the fact that he won some Teen Choice Awards.

But for real, how could you find fault with this?

-You watch Toddlers and Tiaras and it has the opposite of the intended effect on you. As in, you watch it and kind of want to put your children in pageants….

-Someone txts you "Be there in a sex."

-The next day, someone else txts you "Ok, see you in a sex."

-Both someones are immediately horrified and correct themselves. Both someones get a txt from you that says, "I'm sexcited!" because you are convinced that it wasn't only funny the first time and that this is a joke that is okay to repeat with different audiences.

-You fill out a damage sheet for the apartment you just moved into, which is the same apartment you painted 2 years ago, and in the spot where it asks about whether the walls are white or painted, you not only list the colors of all the walls but also compliment them.

-You go to buy 50 composition notebooks, 25 pencil boxes, 25 highlighters, 50 colored pens, 30 dry erase markers, 25 desk name tags, 50 boxes of crayons, 60 erasers, 48 glue sticks, and 100 folders at Walmart, and the cashier asks: "Are you a teacher?"

-And you respond, "No, I just have a lot of kids." 

-And for a second, he looks like he believes you.

-You txt a friend and accidentally ask what time "Capture the Fag" is going to start.

-You meet the worst boy ever at the pool, and he is the really persistent kind who keeps trying to talk to you and your friends, despite your blatantly rude body language that clearly says "don't talk to me, in fact would you please go crawl into a hole because that's how annoying you are...."

-You go to a baseball game and are told by the little girl sitting in front of you “Okay, I won’t lick your legs. But they sure do look tasty!”

-You go to the bank to deposit a check like an adult and the banker goes to shake your hand and asks what your name is, and you have to shift everything you're holding to the other hand and pull the lollipop out of your mouth to answer, and you realize that no amount of check-depositing will truly make you into an adult. 

-You and your sister make cupcakes for a friend for her birthday. They are the best cupcakes ever. Then, you don't know where she lives, so you just eat a couple while you wait on getting her address.

-On a possibly related note, you learn, through personal experience, that it is indeed possible to eat 18 cupcakes in 5 days. By yourself. 

And finally, it can get a little awkward when all the things on this list are actually the little things that make your life really enjoyable :)

Sweet Skills

So the other day, I was watching the Bachelorette, and Emily said that she didn't feel like she had a lot of talents. My immediate reaction was, "What the heck Emily! Yes you do! You're awesome! You're so pretty and nice and sometimes you say funny things!" And then I realized that "being pretty" doesn't count as a talent.

Neither does being nice, and even saying funny things occasionally can't really be counted as a talent.

And then I realized that I don't have that many talents either. Here are the things that I consider my talents:

- teaching (this is to be seen, I guess)
- txting
- typing fast
- writing (letters, blogs, papers, etc.)
- hair-doing
- nannying
- trying new recipes
- facebook-stalking (I'm not as good as Winnie, but I'm pretty good at it)
- singing a little bit and piano a little bit and dancing a little bit
- packing lots of stuff into a little bag / suitcase / car

Anyways. That looks like a pretty decently-sized list, but when you think about it, none of those talents would get me landed on America's Got Talent. So I am determined to get some new talents. Some cool ones!

Here are the talents I want to develop:

- doing pull-ups on a pull-up bar. These are always impressive. I want to be able to do EIGHT.
- trick-riding on a horse. I need a horse for this, so I might not actually be able to develop this talent until I have married a cowboy.
- playing the ukulele. So I guess I will need a ukulele. After I buy a car, I will get one.
- whistling. I've never been able to whistle. I'd really like to able to.
- making cream puffs. Maybe I will learn how while I'm home!

If anyone has advice for how I can master any of these talents, please let me know :)

Aimees

One day, I was sitting in my apartment at Raintree, just hanging out, doing homework maybe. The door opened. Chelsea bounced in, and behind her, a person with poofy hair followed.

"Hi!" the poofy-headed person said. She flashed a huge smile at me. "I'm Aimee!"

"Heather!" Chelsea said, also smiling hugely. "This is Aimee! She's my friend!"

"Hi!" I said. Their smiles were contagious. "I'm Heather -"

"I'm so happy to meet you!" Aimee said. (I believed her. She was practically giddy about it.)

For a few weeks, I just knew Aimee as Chelsea's friend. But then, she moved into our apartment, and she became my roommate, and then my friend too, and then one of my very best friends. And now, she is one of my very best friends.....who is one year older!

Aimee is one of the funniest people I know. She is constantly making me laugh, and something else that is great about her is that she also laughs a lot. So sometimes I feel like I'm really funny when we are hanging out.

When we were roommates in Raintree, we had a lot of fun together. One time, we had a girls night with Chelsea, and we all went to see Dear John at the dolla theater. The movie sucked. The company did not. So we tried again, another time, with New Moon. This time, we all wore our respective boyfriend's clothes. Both times, it was worth the dollar, because we at least had fun hanging out with each other :)

Aimee is always supportive of my ideas. I don't know why, because a lot of the time, they are not that great. Like this one time when I really wanted to check the mail, but it was raining, so I couldn't go by myself! Aimee pulled on mismatching boots and a jacket and off we went. She is so accommodating.

Another time, I wanted to do the Bikini Body workout for our Girls Night. Aimee did it with me. I loved it. She hated it. She only just complained a little bit, but she did it with me!

We also took super-fierce pictures together. She loves America's Next Top Model, and I like it, so usually when she is around, I get hooked on it again. The results are, obviously, worth the time spent on it.

Yep.

Aimee is super-sharing. She is so domestic - she can make anything, tortillas or chicken dumplings or parmesan broccoli or syrup or lemon raspberry cupcakes or cake cookies. And she doesn't just make delicious food. She shares it, too! She always took care of me when we were roommates. She still takes care of me when we are not roommates, by giving me rides to work or bringing me yummy foods she made or sending me encouraging txts (or having her husband txt me funny things) or putting candy all over my bed after I fall asleep on a particularly bad night.

Aimee is a life guard sometimes and also a swim teacher. Therefore, she gets suuuuper-tan and super-blonde in the summertime. And I spend lots of time being jealous of her. I've never seen her teach swimming, but I know she is great at it. Aimee has awesome management skills and I'm so happy that she switched her major to Elementary Education. She is going to be such an amazing elementary school teacher! We are going to share lessons with each other all the time.

Aimee is always happy for me when something good happens to me. She is also such a good listener. She's just good at talking to people and getting them to talk about themselves (and especially their farts). Sometimes, I go into our conversations thinking, "Okay. This time, we're going to talk about Aimee." And then the conversation goes something like this:

me: Tell me about bla! How did it go?

her: It was fun! How did this go?

me: It was great!

her: Did this happen?

me: Yeah! (elaborate)

her: Oh awesome! What about this?

me: Oh! (elaborate more). How was this for you?

her: It was okay. Hey, did this ever happen?

me: No...(elaborate).

Do you see what I mean? I don't know how, but somehow she always turns the conversation back to me. She is selfless and encouraging and kind. She is smart and hardworking and hilarious. She got the hottest bridals taken I have ever seen. I love her! And I think she deserves everything good in the world :)