Dreams Come True

It's hard to pinpoint when exactly I decided I wanted to be a teacher. I can remember being excited to start school, after hearing about all of Kelly's adventures. I can remember coming home on the last day of school with worksheets that my teacher had left over from the year, determined to save those worksheets for the day that I had a class of my own. I can remember coming up with elaborate lessons for FHE. I can remember telling my teachers that I wanted to be a teacher when I was older.

So it started early - sometimes, I even think it started before I was born. It's the one career I've ever wanted to do. It's been a dream of mine ever since I can remember.

When I was accepted to come here, to BYU, I took a few minutes and browsed casually through the catalog of classes required for an Elementary Education major. The classes all sounded amazing! Teaching math? Teaching science? Instruction and Assessment? These were skills I had always known I would have to develop. I was thrilled to get started.

And then, all of a sudden, I was in a classroom. First-graders were calling me Miss Connor. I wasn't just majoring in Elementary Education anymore; I was teaching.

My classmates talked about doing an internship, where they would have their own classroom, for a whole year. They would get half-salary. They would teach all day, every day. I thought about doing an internship, then thought about not doing an internship. I reasoned that I wasn't ready for that much responsibility. I needed more time to learn how to teach.

I made my decision. I was going to do student-teaching, not an internship.

Sherri, my facilitator, had different plans. She urged me to reconsider. She said she would strongly recommend me for an internship. She gave me the forms.

So I thought about it, thought about my dream, and wondered if maybe I was ready. I had wanted this my whole life. Shouldn't I at least try?

I filled out the forms. I called Joy. I went to an interest meeting. I signed up for an interview. I picked out an outfit. Two days after I made my decision, I found myself sitting in a room in the District Office with Charlotte, Raylee, and Jessica sitting on my left. Eighteen principals and facilitators shuffled through papers and sipped water as they mulled over a decision that would change my life. A bald man with great teeth and bright blue eyes directed the interviews.

I had spent the morning fretting and putting on lotion and lip gloss and going over practice questions again and again. Now, sitting in that room, I noticed that my foot, which hadn't stopped jiggling since the internship meeting, dipped casually up and down as if I was sitting in a hammock.

Our interviews ended and we went back to school. The secretaries asked us how it went. We smiled and acted confident, and went to lunch. The day progressed just like a normal day.

I left the elementary school and went to the Writing Center. I left the Writing Center. I started walking home. I got to my door and reached for my key. My phone started buzzing; Joy was calling.

I took a breath and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Heather? This is Joy, how are you doing?"

She's asking how I'm doing, I thought. That has to be good, right? She would just cut to the chase if I didn't get an internship.

"I'm good, how are you?" I asked.

"Fine, thank you," she said.

I waited.

"Heather, I'm calling you with some good news."

My knees felt weak.

Do you remember how you felt, the morning after your first kiss? Do you remember that feeling when you woke up, and all your memories came flooding back, and you wondered if you were lying to yourself, but you weren't, because it really was real, and that wonderful thing really actually did happen....

That's how I felt the next day. I woke up smiling. I spent the whole day smiling. I wanted to tell random strangers that I was a teacher. I wanted to scream.

Because Jordan School District picked me, and Sherri and Kathy want me to come back and teach at their school, as a second-grade teacher, next year.

"I'm calling to tell you," Joy had said, "that Jordan Ridge - " my school! " - has offered you an internship for next year teaching 2nd grade."

I couldn't even go inside my apartment when Joy was talking to me. I pressed the phone up super-close to my face, so my ear could slurp up every word she said. I thanked her over and over. I pulled out my key, went inside, and collapsed on my bed. My roommate thought I was crying. (I wasn't. Just hyperventilating a little bit.) I called my mom. I fell on the couch. I fell on the floor.

I guess that's just what I do when my dreams are coming true :)