The world is your oyster!: 2012        

These are a few of my favorite things:

pina-colada flavored italian ice
dance parties
dressing up
love :)


My name is Heather.

I am 22 years old.

I am an East Coast girl
who also loves Utah.

I love my life. How could I not?

The world is my oyster :)
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Monday, December 24, 2012

Picture a Christmas

Once upon a time, I flew home for Christmas. Just like I do err year. I was greeted at the airport by my cute (suddenly giant) family.

And then, I gained 30 pounds.
And Jacob grew 30 inches.
And we all froze to death.

And so did Sarah's American Girl doll magazines. We found them in the freezer.
Then, I made some really fantastic potato soup. It was so fantastic, I cried a little about it.  (Although that could have also been the onions that I cut....)

"Julie. I am so happy to share with you, because you shared with me. ......Nicole lied." - Nicole

"What do I know? I'm just a fat old man with jowels." - a very self-pitying Dad

*everyone listening to "I want you to rock me" by One Direction, when Dad comes and turns it off*
Jo: Dad! We were listening to that!
Dad: I've been rocked enough!

"He has nose hairs?? How does the man survive!" - Dad

This year is looking like it's going to be pretty good already :) We miss you, Delly!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Blogworthy, Nonetheless

I haven't blogged a whole lot this month. But here are some things that have happened that have been blogworthy even if they haven't gotten their own entry:

- I got power nails! I got them for my parent-teacher conferences, and I got a free appetizer and a discount at Chili's on girls' night, and then I didn't have any bad parent teacher conferences, so I guess they did their job.

- And speaking of that free food at Chili's and parent teacher conferences, I would also just like to announce that my PTA fed us dinner both nights of conferences. And you know that made it all worth it to me. 

- McKen Doll and I went to our ward's FHE for the sole purpose of feeding ourselves, because we heard there would be pizza there. There was, and for some reason, it was the best pizza I have ever inhaled. (Because that's absolutely what I did with it.) At first I got two slices, because I was thinking I would eat one and save the other one for my lunch the next day. But then I accidentally ate both of them.

- And then Kenna and I accidentally each took two more slices on our way out the door.

- There was also that one time when I was so exhausted when I got home, so I was taking a nap, and then my roommate woke me up to tell me that there was free Zupa's at the clubhouse (?!?!?!) so I zombied my way over to the clubhouse and helped myself.

- I got some presents for the ladies I teach with. As a true daughter of my mother, I gave them all nail polish and toe separators with a tag that said "You have "nailed" teaching! It's great to work with you. Thanks for helping me "polish" my teaching!"

- One of the nail polishes was a really great color. So I accidentally painted my nails with it.

- And then the next day at school, I accidentally improved on my manicure by putting glitter on some of my nails. While I was at school. And while my kids were also at school with me.

- Then this boy saw my nails and, remembering when I had power nails the time before, said "That's so much power in your nails!"

- There was that one day (yesterday) when my desk looked like this:

And that was justttt fine.
- We had our Christmas party in class, and the room moms who put it all together threw away all the leftover frosting. I'm talking like, 5 containers that were still halfway full. So I pulled them out of the trashcan and then this conversation happened:

Student: Miss Connor, what are you doing?
Me: Hmmm? Oh I'm.....there are box tops of these.
S: Oh! We need to cut those off!
Me: Yeah! Can I borrow your scissors?

After I had cut them all off....

Student: Now you're going to throw them back away?
Me: What? These don't go in the trash.
S: Oh....I thought they were thrown away.
Me: Oh, no! Look how much is left. There's still a ton.

And you better believe I am keeping those.

- Also can I just say that the room moms in charge brought in sugar cookies and root beer floats for the snack after we were done making the gingerbread houses. I was so nervous, you guys. I just thought, "There is no way that my children are going to listen to a word I say for the rest of the day." But I was wrong! They did. I just love my kids so much. They are the nicest little class and I never want them to go to 3rd grade.

- I got an email from my principal. She informed me (and the rest of the teachers) that there are some mice in our school. In the first grade hallway, to be exact. I was pretty on edge after I heard that....and this poster in the front office only made me feel a little bit better:

- I went to my ward's talent show. It was.....something else. I mean wow.

- My school does something called "Battle of the Books" every year," where you read about 5 books and then you have the chance to sit on stage and do sort of a game show thing with buzzers and questions about the books. Anyway, to kick it off, they had 5 teachers participate and show how it's done. The announcer lady said: "Okay! So whoever wins is going to be crowned the queen of the book challenge! And she will receive a crown and a cake!"

My head snapped up. "What??" I whispered to my intern friend. "The winner gets a cake? I didn't know that! I might have participated if I had known I could get a cake!" She kind of just gave me a weird smile and we went back to watching the battle.

In the end, I watched with envy as they placed the crown on Melissa's head....then with confusion as they draped the cape around her shoulders. No one came forward with a cake. At this point it occurred to me that maybe, the winner gets a crown and a CAPE, and maybe I might have to work on my listening skills.

- The North Pole wrote a letter to my class.

I told my kids that if they were super-duper good, we could probably help Santa out. Sorry if you think this was a little manipulative of me....but it worked pretty well :)
- I lost my voice. Teaching is greattt when you have no voice. This conversation happened:

Student: Miss Connor! One time, I lost my voice.
Me: Oh yeah? Where did it go?
S: I think my stomach? Actually no. It went on vacation.
Me: Well how long was it on vacation for?
S: Like, a week.
Me: A week!? I can't wait a week for my voice to come back!
S: Maybe it will come back sooner. Like, maybe your voice can't afford as nice as of a vacation as my voice did.

- After I lost my voice, I went to this Christmas singalong thing that Larry H. Miller does every year up in Salt Lake. It was sooo cool! I just felt a little depressed that I couldn't sing along.

- That depression was alleviated because someone handed me a donut right when I walked in.

- I got lost on my way home from Walmart.

- Then, the next day, I got lost on my way home from the payroll office. Where I happened to be because apparently I never got paid in September! So I had to go and pick up my check. You know that's a merry Christmas. 

- The Jew came to town for a day! She helped out in my classroom all day. My class loves Miss Julie, and thankfully, she doesn't try to distract them....unlike SOME people who visit! You know who you are. (Not you, Aunt Carol. It's not you either, Mom.)

I think we're all caught up that I'm already back in Maryland. Maryland, my merry land. It's good to be home :)

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Teacher's Pet

A blonde walks into Walmart and straight back to the pet section. She examines the bettas, plucks a little red one off the shelf, and takes it up to the cashier.

"How much for this betta?" she asks, and then swipes her card without listening to the price, since the school will be reimbursing her for the fish anyway. The blonde leaves the store, fish in hand, and gets back in her car.

Does this sound like the start of a dumb blonde joke? It's not. It's the start of a very serious life-and-death drama, and it is a true story.

Here's a shocking confession: I am the blonde in this story. The red betta is my class pet, the honorable Brad Rudolph. The cashier will remain anonymous.

Wednesday: I took Brad Rudolph - BR, for short - from Walmart. I placed him securely in Cassidy Jane Carbaby. I brought him to my apartment.

Thursday morning: I brought him to school and slid him into his new home: a beautiful glass fishbowl perched on the windowsill, where he could watch all the kids play at recess. When my kids came in and noticed him, they loved him immediately.

Thursday afternoon: We named him. Aka, they named him.

Friday morning: We wrote letters to Brad Rudolph.

Friday afternoon: I thought to myself: won't BR need to eat over the weekend? I put Brad Rudolph in the little container I had bought him in and got him settled back in Cassidy Jane Carbaby. We got back to my apartment. I poured him into a bigger tupperware container, so he could have some wiggle room.

Saturday: uneventful.

Sunday: uneventful.

Monday morning: Disaster struck. I couldn't find BR's traveling case. I poked holes in a water bottle lid and pretended like that would be okay. I went over to the sink and tried pouring BR into the water bottle. Before I knew it, I had lost 96% of the water down the drain, and BR was still swimming frantically around in the inch of water left in the tupperware container.

I panicked. I tried to facilitate a gentle transfer by setting the water bottle in the container so BR could just swim right in, but that just made all these weird air bubbles rush out of the water bottle and into the water in the tupperware container, and that just made BR thrash around like a sad little piece of red seaweed.

Which was just as terrifying as it sounds! I'm not sure what happened next, but somehow I ended up trying to pick up BR with my bare hands from off of a dirty plate in the sink, and there was no water in the tupperware container, and there was barely a centimeter of water in the water bottle, and when I eventually managed to grab him and drop him in the water bottle, I remembered that he needed water, so I turned on the faucet for about half a second before I remembered that betta fish need special water that has water conditioner drops in it, and tap water will kill them....

So then I snapped off the tap water, appalled at myself, ran over to the shelves where Shannon has her betta fishes, and brought one of them over to the sink. That fish kindly shared some of his water with BR's water bottle. Then the other fish shared some of his water with BR, too.

I felt so bad the entire ride to school. I just kept checking my water bottle to see how poor little BR was holding up.

He seemed a little shaken, but he wasn't dead.  Just to be extra-careful, though, I didn't even turn on the radio the whole way there. I don't want my fish to be deaf any more than I want him to be dead!

At last we got to school and I was able to pour him back into his bowl.

Home, sweet home.

I tell my kids a lot; some might even say that I tell them too much. But you better believe that this is one story I did not share with them.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Thanksgiving Leprechauns

Every Friday, I have my class copy down a poem, to work on their handwriting. Last week, we had to do our poem on Wednesday, since we weren't in school on Thursday or Friday. As you might have been able to guess, the poem was about Thanksgiving. Here it is:

Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving is a special day 
To celebrate each year
We gather with our closest friends
Who come from far and near. 

We have so many things to eat
Turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie
Topped with a mountain of sweet whipped cream
That reaches clear up to the sky!

This particular week, I also had them color in the head and legs, from the knees down, of a pilgrim boy or girl. They glued these on the top and bottom of their poem, so it would look like the pilgrim was holding the poem.

I put the following instructions on the board:

1. Copy the poem.
2. Color your pilgrim.
3. Cut out your pilgrim.
4. Glue the pilgrim to your poem.

But, I teach second grade. So these instructions were still a little tiny bit confusing for some of my kids. After about 20 minutes, I reviewed the instructions again by reading them out loud.

I was just saying " in the end, after you've glued the pilgrim to your poem - " when my cute D exclaimed, "What? Pilgrim? I thought this was a leprechaun."

I looked over at his desk, and, sure enough, he had colored in his pilgrim just like a leprechaun.

PS: This is amusing to you too, right? I don't just think this is funny because it's my class and I love them, right? I just want to know that this is not like when new moms post pictures and Facebook statuses about their newborn's poop. This is funny in the real world too, isn't it?

If not, here's something that I know for sure is actually funny to more than just me:

I don't know why I still laugh so hard every time I see this picture....but I do.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012


Some people put up fake Christmas trees. Some people put up real Christmas trees. I'm not saying that one is better than the other.....but let's be honest. Real Christmas trees are better than fake ones.

Some people buy real Christmas trees from a lot. Some people chop down their real Christmas tree. Again, I'm not saying that chopping down your own Christmas tree makes you better than other people. But it might. 

This weekend, Kailyn, Caitlin, the Jew, Erin and I ventured over to the far corners of Utah:
That's right. We went to Richfield, Utah.
One-stoplight-town, Farmville, home-on-the-range, we're-from-the-country-and-we-like-it-that-way, Richfield. We made a brief stop at this place:

"Are we going there someday?" "I don't know, you tell me...."
Once we were done there, nothing could stop us from getting to Kailyn's beautiful home! Except for the one stop sign in the town. We met her family, talked up one of our friends to make a good impression on Kailyn's family in his absence, and then took a nap, all of us piled on Kailyn's bed.

When we woke up, something was different. We didn't have facial hair or rough, callused hands, but an unmistakable change had taken place: our nap had turned us into lumberjacks.

There were about 8 trucks in the driveway - Kailyn's family believes in trucks - so we all climbed in and struck out for the mountains.  First, the trucks did the hiking. Eventually, we had to get out and do the rest of the hiking ourselves. K-Mom gave us one piece of advice: "When you bring the tree back to the truck, you'll want to carry it down the mountain, not up the mountain. So go uphill to find it."

Our tree was living in a little patch of ankle-deep snow when we found him. He smiled at us with his soft, sage-colored needles, and even though he was a little bit balding on one side, we felt in our hearts that he was our tree. (Or maybe it was just getting dark and we weren't sure how long it was going to take to chop him down or if we would be able to find another one if we left him.....)

Lumberjacks have riveting conversations while they chop. Here's what ours sounded like:

"Hold that pose, can you just wait there a second?" "Wait the lighting was weird! Take it again." "Why do I have an alien head?" "Now you two together. Smile!" "Are you still holding onto the tree? Because it's probably going to fall soon...." "Did you ever txt him back?" "Perfect! I love this one!" "Can that please not go on facebook?"

In case you couldn't tell, at least 3 of us were on our phones or cameras at any given time.

Sawing down the tree was one thing; getting it down the mountain was a whole 'nother task. A mother of a nother task. Gravity swung on by to help us, but it still took all of our Kailyn and Caitlin and Erin's strength and muscles to bring it to Kailyn's brothers. Then it took about 1/18th of their strength to hoist it off the ground and carry it on their shoulders to the truck.

So what did I learn from all this?

Sometimes, boys are like trees. And you have to climb a mountain to find one that you like. And sometimes, he is a little bit balding on one side, or his needles are a little poiky, or he's stuck in the spot where you found him, on account of his roots or whatever.

Sometimes, you need your friends to help you saw down the tree that you want. Wing-girls are so necessary.

Sometimes, you kind of love the tree the moment you see it. But then you still have to cut it down and find a way to get it back to your apartment.

Sometimes, trees look a lot taller when they are laying in the snow than they do when they are standing in the snow. Sometimes, you notice the same thing about boys.

Sometimes, you see all these people coming down the mountain with their trees, and you think how easy it must have been for them to just pluck their tree from the side of the road. But sometimes you're wrong, because probably they didn't pluck their tree or their boy from the side of the road, and probably they had to go through the same process that you did.

Sometimes, there's a tree that really freakin' wants to be your tree, but he takes his sweet time coming down the mountain and puts up such a fuss about it that you almost leave him there on the dead log that he's hanging onto. But then you don't, because he really is the most beautiful tree you've ever seen, and besides that he is really good company, and you like it when he txts you and comes over and even when he eats your food, so whatever. You'll drag him down the mountain even if it kills annoys you, because let's be honest: the chances that he'll end up flying off the truck on the way back to Provo are looking pretty slim, and you honestly believe that one day he will look beautiful, all decked out in lights and ornaments and popcorn in your apartment, and you'll forget about the sap and the splinters and the bruises, and it will all be worth your stupid day month as a lumberjack.

Here we are putting up our beautiful Teddy:

Cute bum, where ya from?
And here he is, all lit up and beautiful:

Monday, November 26, 2012

Meeting the Parents

There was this one time when Ashton Kutcher went to meet his fiancee's parents, and it went horribly. He was a really nice boy, but Bernie Mac just did not think he was suitable marriage material for his daughter, and he took every opportunity to make that abundantly clear.

While this concept made for a movie that I found very funny, it is a concept that hits all too close to home for some people. Namely, 90% of the male population. Boys get nervous about meeting girls' parents, just as a general rule. Dads are overprotective, moms are picky and fastidious, and the fear is that, no matter what you do, they are not going to like you.

It's easier to be a girl and meet a boy's parents, at least in my experience. Dads are generally easy to please - if you are not a troll, they feel all proud of their son and they like you. Moms like you as long as you are not a hooker. Bonus points are always awarded if you are good with kids or can hold a conversation.

So keeping all of this in mind, and remembering that I am a girl, it should not be too surprising that meeting parents is not something that has ever really bothered me.

.......Until now. Tomorrow and Wednesday, hordes of parents will be descending upon my school for Parent-Teacher Conferences. They all want to meet me and ask me how their child is doing. And I am not particularly looking forward to it. In fact, if I'm being honest, I'm dreading it.

I just really don't want any of them to go all Ashley's sister on me. I have an entire year to convince my kids that I'm nice and they should like me. I only have 15 minutes with their parents.

Wish me luck??

Sunday, November 18, 2012

An Attitude of Gratitude

Of course, I am thankful for all the typical things: family, friends, food, the gospel, America, etc. Here's what I am thankful for besides those things:

- roommates who understand that my love languages are food and good parking spots

- boys who have 8-packs

- the Park City outlets

- that the one time I ran into an ex, he didn't know about it

- .....and he looked bad anyways

- 4-hour naps on Sunday - these are so essential to my happiness

- my sisters and their blogs

- the Draper temple
It is beautiful inside, seriously beautiful.
- that one time my mom dropped Crisco on Nicole's foot

- that other time when Nicole said, all nurturingly, "Jacob. When I was your age, I had e-coli." And Jacob replied, "What? Whose poop did you eat?"

- that time when Julie was squinting at the menu at Disney World and this employee came along and kindly handed her a menu in Spanish

- all the times when we have started singing at the table, quietly, and then Nicole has joined in, a little louder, so the rest of us have stopped singing, and my dad has looked up from his meal and gotten upset at Nicole

- the mental image I have in my head of Nicole in seminary

- Antoine Dodson....I know this was like 2 years ago but I still want to thank that guy for the hours of entertainment he has provided me with

- that I know how to make frittatas, lemon glaze, meatballs, parmesan broccoli, paper snowflakes, Hootenanny pancakes, and a plethora of other things

- that my roommates can make even more things

- that I don't have a unibrow

- Cassidy Jane Carbaby

- that one time when my dad started singing about a lemon tree at the dinner table

- that one of my students came in on Friday and gave me a piece of paper with a note that said: "Miss Connor you are the best teacher thanks for being my teacher see you after school!" and had a purple jolly rancher taped to it

- Owen Wilson

I don't know what it is, but I love him. And I am indeed thankful for him. 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Love Me

For the art center this week, I've cut out a bunch of colorful feathers on which my students are supposed to write things they are grateful for. Today, I was going through, taping them on the turkey and reading what everyone was grateful for.

There were the typical answers: family, dad, Earth, my teacher, food, school, etc. And then I came across this one:

"Don't eat me!"

and this one:

"Love me!"

I think it's fair to say that C didn't quite understand the assignment.....but I put his feathers on the turkey anyway. You know why? Because turkeys need love, just like everybody else. If I could, I would put a feather just like that one on Selena Gomez, and another one on Justin Bieber.

Because I just need to say that I heard (2 days after the fact!) that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are, in fact, broken up.

Why would you ever break this up??
What??  Just because Emily and Jef did it, that doesn't mean it's cool!

I am more upset about this than the logical part of me really thinks is reasonable. I take these things pretty personally.

As in, I am still not quite over the fact that Ryan Phillipe cheated on Reese Witherspoon, what, 10 years ago?

And she is all happily remarried and he's still a sub-par actor whose fame probably peaked with the notoriety of his infidelity, so Reese clearly won and I clearly shouldn't still be upset about it, but whatever. 

If JP and Ashley try to follow this trend I swear I will take a personal day about it.

But you know who I'm not upset about?


Tuesday, November 13, 2012


While preparing a social studies lesson for tomorrow, I had a bit of a crisis. So of course, I went to the smartest man I know: my dad.

Via google chat, I said:

     me:  dad
   did christopher columbus not really find america?
   did he just go to haiti and cuba?
   did amerigo vespucci discover america?

He responded:

 Sid:  that's right ...

To which I said:

 me:  dang it
i've been so deceived

And then this little cyber-barb appeared on my screen:

 Sid:  i am in a meeting and what you are writing is being displayed for the whole world to see

You know I felt just fantastic about that. I think I turned pink as I pictured all the suits tilting their heads slightly to read what I had typed, and then glaring as the ignorance of it all settled into their minds. I pictured my dad getting all flustered and trying to ex out of our conversation before any more damage could be done. I pictured my latest message popping up insistently, clamoring for a spot on the screen.

It took me a good three minutes to come up with this response:

me: sorry
good thing you knew the answer or this would have been really embarrassing

God bless the public school system. Just, bless it.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Unsolicited Life Advice

If you aren't really interested in some life advice, you should teach second grade. These kiddos give me advice I wasn't looking for all the time. It's probably partially my fault for telling them all about my life.
Sometimes I feel like my class consists of about 20 of these.
Here's some advice I got when.....

- I told them I was allowed to wear jeans the next day: "Make sure you wear skinny jeans." Wait, when did I switch to teaching 6th grade?

- I told them I didn't know what to be for Halloween: "You should be a teenager. Cuz that's what you look like anyway." Well, thanks. 'Preciate that.

- I told them I was going to buy a car: "You should get a nice one. Like a Bugatti." Maybe if I had chosen a different career.....

- I told them I wanted to make math a little funner: "All you need to do is bring us candy. Like, a big huge bag for each of us. That would be reallllllyy fun." Let's consider the resulting sugar rush.....not fun for me!

- I told them that the dress I was wearing belonged to my roommate: "You better start wearing your own stuff. She could poison your food, you know."

And today's piece of advice, which came when I was standing innocently around, signing assignment sheets after having said nothing about any boys all day:

K: You should get married.
me: Oh, really? Why?
K: Because you're a teenager.
me: I'm not a teenager!
K: Oh, then you should for sure get married.   . . . . . . . tomorrow.
me: Tomorrow?? But why?
K: Because you're a grown-up.
me: Okay, well I'll work on that then....
C: Yeah! Then there can be two Mrs. Connors!
C: Wait.....
A: Well, you don't have to get married exactly tomorrow.
K: But by Thanksgiving at least.
A: Maybe go on some dates first.
K: No, she's already been on some dates. So now you can get married.
A: But maybe a few more dates would be good?
K: She doesn't need to go on more dates. She just needs to get engaged, then married. Boom.
me: I think your mom is waiting for you....

Who knew there were so many things I never knew?

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Back off, Brutus

So on Wednesday this week, I wore a short-sleeved shirt. Not because I didn't have to leave my house, but because it was a beautiful day outside.

On Friday this week, I wore pants and a sweater and a coat and I am sad to say that I still turned into a Popsicle. And it's all because Brutus came to town.

Did you know that snow storms get names? The one that rolled through Utah on Friday was named Brutus. He came along and dumped on Cassidy Jane Carbaby while I sat in my school, organizing and printing and copying and cutting and gluing and rearranging and eating a free donut (or 2) and remembering that I love that little place that I work at.

By 11 in the morning, the ground and Cassidy Jane Carbaby were covered in 7 inches of snow. During lunch, I was sitting at lunch with my team and Heidi, the new practicum student, when Sherri came in and told Heidi that she could leave as soon as lunch was over to try and get home before the snow got too bad. Of course this immediately made me panic. I said something like:

"Wait! What! Guys! I don't know how to drive in the snow!"

They assured me that it was fine. I began to feel better. Then I told them that I have never really driven in snow. They encouraged me to leave and get home as soon as possible and asked if Cassidy Jane Carbaby has four-wheel drive. I panicked again because no, she does not. And no one was telling me that I would be fine any more.

"I just got my oil changed?" I said hopefully.

Apparently that doesn't help with driving in the snow....but I must have done something right, because I got home all in one piece! Cassidy Jane is a trooper.

PS: I found this little gem the other day.....

I hope you enjoy it as much as Philip did :)

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

...and world peace.

So, I just counted, and I have lived with 26 different roommates so far. If you want to count my two weeks at EFY over the summer, I've lived with 29. And I have loved every one of them - some much less than others, but still.

Anyway, in all my vast experience, I am happy to announce that I have discovered the key to peace, love, and happiness in the roommate-dom.

The key is: communication. The rules of communication are:

1. Do it. Say things like, "How was your day?"

Freshman year

2. Communicate about boys. That means you
a. tell your roommates who you like, and
b. when that boy kisses you, you tell your roommates.
c. And you show with your hands what happened.
d. And you put ice cream in the freezer about it.
e. And if a boy ever sends you a txt that just says: "Put ya up against the wall!," you better believe you are sharing that with your roommates.

Fall / Winter 2009 - 2010

3. Say things that you like about each other. That doesn't mean you have to say "I liked when your legs were on me last night," necessarily, but you get the idea.

Fall 2010

4. Along with that, you communicate what you like about your roommates to other people. So if your roommate is looking particularly foxy, feel free to inform her boyfriend.

Winter 2011

5. Say things that you don't like about each other. This might sound counter-intuitive, but if you don't say things that are bugging you, those things will just build up and fester in your brain, and pretty soon you will be following rules #3 and #4 through gritted teeth. Here are some examples of successful inter-apartment communications of flaws:
"Could you talk like a mute person please?"

"Who left this rib bone on the counter, HEATHER?"

"No offense but you're cheap."

"No offense, but if you use that baby voice one more time, I'm going to kill you."

Fall 2011
 H: I like that shirt, I've never seen you wear it!
K: That's what Shannon said, but I've worn it many times.
H: Really? I'm pretty sure you've never worn it....
K: I've worn it a lot!
H: Maybe in high school, when we didn't know you. *Pause* Or in middle school, when it would have been cool.....

A: Do my eyes look pretty -
C: NO!
A: ....Oh. Okay. I'll just take that as....constructive criticism?

"You have to be careful that you don't get diabetes."

Present day

C: I am going to get obese.
K: And then you will lose a friend.

"Right after I called on you to pray, I regretted it instantly."

K: I don't want to be rude, but will you please not sing along? I's my first time watching and I want to understand what they're saying.
H: You can't understand me singing?
K: No....I can....I just, can you not sing?

I could go on. But I think you get the point: my roommates and I are happy, and it is all because of our great communication.

Other factors contributing to our happiness:

- one roommate randomly brings home Jamba Juice on occasion
- we feed each other numminess
- we have pillow talk
- we stand in parking spaces for each other
- we go to the temple together
- we have roommate photo shoots
- we laugh at each other
- we write indecent news on the white board
- we make pig noises at each other to prevent obesity
- we run stairs together
- we do each other's homeworks
- well, not really....
- we do hardcore parkour
- we dress up together
- we do each other's hairs and nails

but these are just some fun little things that you can do on the side, once you've mastered communication. It's not so hard. It's just a matter of saying what you think :) 

Happy communicating!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Storm's a'Brewin'

So my cute famiglia is in Maryland, Dorothying it up with Sandy as I type. I've gotten emails from Amazon, Wells Fargo, and School's Out about it. And of course, there have been the countless Facebook statuses regarding the Frankenstorm. Apparently it's a big deal? (Please read that in a Despicable Me voice.)

People have been really sympathetic and concerned about it. They keep asking if my family got evacuated, if we still have power, if we're okay, etc. It's nice to know that so many people are concerned, but where I come from, rain is a good thing.

Rain means lightning, rain boots, and sitting with the lights off and staring out the window with my siblings. Rain means bright green grass, a happy garden, puddles and vapor rising from the ground. Rain means a slightly paranoid dad backing up all his computers and running around with a flashlight, just in case the power goes out. Really bad rain means no school and an excuse to sleep in. When it rains, we party.

In the old house, two houses down from the new house, we had a big window in the kitchen, with a sliding glass door and a railing so no one could fall out. There was a big thunderstorm, and even though it was past bedtime, there were three little girls sitting by that window. We each had on one of Dad's big t-shirts, and we sat with our knees tucked up in our shirts, looking out at the storm.

This isn't a picture from that storm, but this would be what we looked like.
We watched the swings on our swing-set sway back and forth, knocking into each other in the wind. Our turtle kiddie pool filled up with water, and we wondered if the giant tree would fall on us, but it never did.

I'm sure I wouldn't be writing this blog post if the tree had fallen on us. I'd be writing one called "Dear Sandy, I hate you and every other storm like you." Instead, I'm writing one called "Storm's a'Brewin'."

Enjoy Sandy, Murrlanders! And Virginians and Jersites and errbody else. I hope you like Easy Mac, good book, Blind Man Bluff kinda days as much as I do. May your laundry finish before the power goes out, and may your greatest trial continue to be the fear that you may not be able to access Facebook for a stint :)

Sunday, October 28, 2012

So Busy up in Here

I don't know why I apparently have more time to blog when I am on-track than when I am off, but apparently I do. And now I have 5 minutes before I have to leave to go to Idawhat, but here's a blog on what I have been doing instead of blogging:

1. Sleeping in.

2. Napping.

3. Going to my friends' classes.

4. Grading and planning some stuff. I have to write that small because I really haven't been doing all that much of that. 

5. Convincing other people that they don't need to do their homework / study / go to bed early because playing with and / or feeding me is much more important. I am the worst. 

6. Going to Cornbelly's. What's that, you say? Wellllll just my [fourth] favorite place on Earth! After, you know, like Disney World, and the temple, and my house.....Pictures coming soon!

7. Going to a Halloween party all dressed up with the roommates!

Left to right: Minnie Mouse, Pocahontas, Tangled, Alice in Wonderland, Snow White

As you can see, the Jew joined us! She came to town this weekend and pretty soon, I will be venturing over to her hood for even more fun times :)

8. Eating at the Cannon Center with some studly biceps.

9. Consorting with famous authors. NBD (aka, VBD) but I shook hands with him and rode in a car with him and chatted with him and just, you know, spilled the Starbucks that I got just for hanging out with him on my new blue pants about it, but whatever. #famouspeoplepantsfail

10. Ate my heart out for the annual birthday lunch at Tucano's!

11. Re-discovered the Fall Waffle at the Awful Waffle.....why is this list almost entirely about food.....

12. Spent the night in Snowbird in this swanky little place that I'm obsessed with, with some roommates, a hot tub, some romantic music, and about 40 cookies.

13. Watched House at the End of the Street again. For the record, it is at least as scary in the drive-in as it is in the real people theater.

14. Watched Casper for the first time! Watching movies has just become my favorite thing recently.....totally not sure why, but yep. That's just what happens when you go off-track, kids.

15. Carved a punkin! You have to say it like that: punkin. Or else you basically hate Halloween.

16. Made about 5069 punkin seeds. And they are the most bomb-amazing punkin seeds you have ever tasted, ever.


1. Get all your seeds rinsed off.
2. Boil seeds in salt water (2 cups water for every 1/2 cup seeds, 1/2 tsp salt for every cup water).
3. Simmer for 10 minutes.
4. Drain.
6. Put olive oil on a cookie sheet. Spread it around. Put the seeds on top.
7. Sprinkle with lemon pepper seasoning and onion seasoning. And some more salt if you don't care about your cholesterol.
8. Bake at 400* for about 10 minutes. When you hear popping, they are getting close!
9. Show off your talents to all your friends who previously hated punkin seeds. Like me, until I was converted with this very recipe!

Peace out, Provo! Don't worry, I'll be back in time to fit in 2 more Halloween parties. Which is convenient, since I have 5 more costumes for this year that I haven't worn yet.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012


Off-track is a funny thing. I have three weeks of vacation that no one else has. So, while everyone else is still going about, living their lives and fulfilling their obligations like normal, I am living my life and fulfilling of my obligations.

But a life of idleness can be just as exhausting as a life of industriousness, and is much less satisfying. So in order to guarantee my own satisfaction, I have been putting together TO DO lists (I am obsessed with these, so it's really nothing new....) for each day. I'm checking stuff off like a BOSS. Here's today's TO DO list, in case you were wanting to sit in awe of my gumption:

- go to the temple with roommates
- make some more punkin seeds
- get from the kitchen to my bed without touching the floor
- practice piano
- download Taylor's new songs
- be nice to Shannon
- organize boots and coats
- grade some shtuff
- figure out my Halloween costume for Friday
- maybe do some step-aerobics if I can find something that will work as a step
- eat some muffins
- set up visiting teaching
- shower
- put on makeup
- go to a concert? with free hot chocolate and free henna tattoos??
- blog
- go to the dolla theater and watch a 3D movie in order to get some 3D glasses
- floss
- buy milk, eggs, bread, laundry detergent, and sugar
- make a TO DO list for tomorrow

I think that a person's strength of character really shows through when they do things that they don't have to do. Here are some of the things I don't have to do that I have already done at some point during this off-track anyway:

- wake up before 10
- wear pants
- floss my teeth
- memorize "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida (actually I'm still working on this)
- listen to Taylor's new album
- about 24 times
- go to class with Caitlin
- go to class with Christine
- grow out my bangs
- make the most bomb amazing punkin seeds of history

Yep. Based on this list, I think my character is pretty strong.

Saturday, October 13, 2012


I had the best birthday ever!

I know I said this last year, and two years ago, and the year before that as well. But I really mean it, every time.

This year's birthday started the night before my actual birthday with a trip to the movies. We watched "House at the End of the Street" and basically had the theater to ourselves. Just me, 5 of the best roommates ever, a blanket, and some (homemade) popcorn.

I normally have a very low tolerance for scary movies. Here are my rules for scary movies:

-They can't be toooo scary.
-They can't be Satanic.
-They can't be gross, like gory.
-They can't be not scary at all.
-There has to be a hot guy
-...and he can't die. Well actually he can, I just prefer that he doesn't.
-There has to be a happy ending.
-There has to be some humor.
-Not a huge fan of children in scary movies. I don't like when children are the villains, I don't like when they are the victims, and I don't like when they are both villain and victim (like if they are possessed or something). 

So you see, my pool of watchable scary movies is a very limited one. It includes "What Lies Beneath," "Wait Until Dark," "Disturbia," "The Goonies," and now "House at the End of the Street." Yeah. It made my very exclusive list. We're going to go watch it again when it comes to the dolla theater.

Birthday continued with the apartment decorated so cutely with streamers and balloons and post-its by my wonderful roommates who woke up before I did. They also made my a bomb breakfast of hootenanny pancakes and decorated my car with streamers and balloons and window marker :)

I had an all-day seminar instead of regular class, but they fed me breakfast and lunch and 4 snacks throughout the day, so I can't complain. Plus I was allowed to wear jeans and I had time after the meeting to get Carbaby safety and emissions tested, and she passed with flying colors, and someone whistled at me as I was walking in the store (!!!) and I ended up getting home 2 hours earlier than I usually do and hence, got a perfect parking there really is nothing to complain about here.

Shannon teaches piano and her students had their recital today, so the roommates and I went to that. We are so supportive :) Her kids were all in costumes for Halloween and it was adorable, and we got treats afterwards, and it also reminded me that I still want to learn how to play the ukulele.

After this artistic appreciation, we went to the Garden of Olives to appreciate some art of the edible variety! I am obsessed with OG breadsticks and salad and everything else. Besides an unwanted unexpected visitor, we had a lovely, fat time.

Unfortunately, Winnie and Tara couldn't be in this picture because they stood a mile away from the rest of us. Haha
And thennn we went home for some more love and fat! Caitlin organized a party and a bunch of people came over for cake and ice cream. I have the best friends a girl could ask for!

Friends from Freshman year came :)
Friends from waaaay before freshman year came :)

Delly came :)

Cute boys came,,,,,

And put candles on my cake :)

It was a good day, kids. More people were there too....which means there are more pictures coming. You know how I do. UPDATE: No more pictures to look forward to! Any pictures that ever will be up, are currently up. Don't worry, it's still Birthday Month.