.
.Whatever. I am a twenty-year-old woman. Making this kind of purchase does not bother me. I am far too mature to be fazed by such a responsibility. Except, I have never had such an awkward experience with it as I did today.
My first priority was getting paper plates, for a class party we are having on Wednesday. Then I picked up some conditioner. Then, as I walked confidently towards the section for feminine hygiene, it happened.
The creamery was suddenly swarmed by all the freshman boys currently living at Heritage. Seven of them, all about eight feet tall, nonchalantly set up camp right in front of my targeted purchase. They looked around, discussing how they should be at Subway instead. I couldn't have agreed more. I wanted them to be at Subway, too.
After idly looking over the hair products for a few minutes, I got tired of waiting. I marched up to them, determined not to be awkward. "Excuse me," I said.
"Oh, sorry," said one of them, and started to meander away. His friends turned to look at what I needed. Twelve eyes fell on the tampons, six necks turned red, and six awkward freshman boys scattered to all corners of the store. I might as well have been buying the antidote to the plague.
Still, in my earnest desire to avoid awkwardness, I took my time to make an educated decision about exactly which brand and box I wanted. I then walked up to the cash registers, where I was rejoined by the six giant freshmen, still talking about how great it would be if they were at Subway instead of the Creamery. I don't know what was keeping them there.
I put my conditioner, paper plates, and tampons on the little conveyor belt. The lady at the register snatched the tampons off the belt, scanned them, and threw them in a bag. Then she smiled sympathetically at me. "How is your day going?" she asked, her voice oozing with compassion.
I smiled. "Great!" I said. She smiled knowingly and started scanning my other items. "How's yours?" I asked.
"Pretty good," she said, and told me my total. I paid, thanked her, and left the Creamery.
Never to return again, because I just don't think I can handle it.
And the freshmen boys remain in the BYU Creamry like stuck pin balls. Not matter how hard you kick!
ReplyDeleteEducated decision in the tampon aisle eh? have you never bought them for yourself before? you've been living away from home for three years at BYU and you still have to think about this decision? Hhhonestly, your life could be a lot simpler. Let me offer a humble suggestion to your predicament.
ReplyDeleteYours,
Anonymous
http://www.us.depend.com/
P.S. You're welcome
we've got a hater. Heather did you reject a boy and now hes out to anonymously be mean to you. Poor boy. :(
ReplyDeletedear annonymous,
ReplyDeletei'm assuming you know all about this because you obviously have a vagina. thank you for the advice.
yours,
heather (my real name)
anonymous is such a looooo-serrrr
ReplyDeleteAnonymous Hater,
ReplyDeleteI am struggling to understand why you post such rude things, when you are clearly not as talented with words as the Connor girls. Or as talented at anything as we are for that matter...
Anyway prices and situations constantly change, so of course she might have to look at little bit to decide. Sorry you don't believe in educating yourself... that's probably why your comments are so ridiculously uneducated.
Heather assumes you know so much because you have a vagina, but I think it's because you have such a small penis it looks like a vagina :)
Kelly
Dear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I'm sure they have Midol in the Creamery as well. You seem to have lost yours, since you've been PMSing all over the internet.
Julie