The world is your oyster!: 2011        

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dance parties
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My name is Heather.

I am 22 years old.

I am an East Coast girl
who also loves Utah.

I love my life. How could I not?

The world is my oyster :)
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Saturday, December 31, 2011

It Ain't the End of the World

Every year on NYE, the family goes out to eat at Hunan Manor. It is our favorite Chinese restaurant and one of our favorite traditions.

Here's the conversation we had on the car ride over to the restaurant:

Mom: Let's go around and have everyone say something they are going to do to demonstrate good manners at the restaurant.

me: The boys will get our chairs. Just kidding. I will put my napkin on my lap.

Nicole: That was MINE!

me: Pick again.

Sarah: I will not burp, or fart, at the table. I will leave to go to the bathroom to fart.

Nicole: I will not yell at Heather when she undoubtedly ruins my evening. Just kidding. I will only speak Mandarin to the Mandarin waiters. They are important, too!

Kelly: I will try not to snap at anyone.

Julie: I will drink with my pinkie off to the side.

Dad: Okay, now. This is for everyone. Not just directed at you, Joseph.


Dad: There will be no eating with your mouth full of food. Or half-full!

Dahl: I will say please and thank you.

Everyone immediately began praising him and started singing, "When you want the butter, say please pass the butter. Manners, are never out of styyyyyle!"

Kelly: No one can sing it right!!!

Dad: I hope I will not have to remind anyone about things like singing at the table.

And you know what? He didn't. We were perfectly well-mannered. And the food was delicious. And we were all happy about that. And this was probably the best New Years' Eve I have had in 6 years.

Hulloooo, 2012! :)

Afraid of the Red Man

The other night, we watched "Captain America." Then it was time for bed. I am sleeping in Nicole's trundle during this break, and when I got up to her room, I was sad to see that there was just a sheet on my bed :(

I sniffled. "Nicole?" I said.

"Yes, Heather."

"I'm just wondering if you know where my quilt is," I said meekly.

She informed me that I had left it downstairs. I balked. I hate going to the basement all alone!

"Why don't you just go down and get it?" said Nicole insensitively.

I sighed and pulled my sheet up under my chin. "Brrr," I said pointedly.

No response. I began to panic. My mom has been known to set the thermostat at 62* in the wintertime! I had to do something or I would surely freeze!


"Heather! Why don't you just go get it?" Nicole suggested.

"I can't," I said in despair.

"Heather," Nicole said kindly. "Are you afraid of the red man?"

For those who haven't seen it, the badguy in Captain America is bright red and pulls his own face off at one point, and he looks like Darth Mal and Voldemort had a baby.

I was not afraid of the red man. But I said, "Ye-es. So, Nicole, would you pleeeease go downstairs with me to get my quilt? I'm so afraid!"

Nicole went on to explain why I shouldn't be afraid of the red man. I sighed dramatically. I told her she was right. I hunkered down in my thin sheet.

"So you can go by yourself," Nicole finished cheerfully.

I assured her it was fine. I shivered a little for effect. And just when I thought my snot would turn into icicles, Nicole (or Super-Nico, as she is affectionately called) got out of bed, sniffed in annoyance, and went downstairs.

I felt very grateful as I listened to her steps go down the stairs. What a wonderful sister! She was so thoughtful and kind all the time!

I heard silence and I knew she was going downstairs even further, to the basement. I began to feel a little triumphant. Nicole was the best, but I was just as awesome! I had persuaded her to get my quilt! Maybe I was a little obnoxious. Some people might even say I had been annoying. But now I was going to get my quilt. And I was going to be toasty warm. And I didn't have to go downstairs to get it all by myself.

My life was looking pretty darn charmed.

But then, Nicole got back upstairs. She stood at the head of my bed. I saw in her arms a pile that was unmistakably my quilt. I felt so happy and content in that moment.

And then she threw that quilt down on my face. And I think it broke my nose. And my nose looked like this.

Or maybe this. (The one on the left).

And now I'm worried that one day, it will look like this.

So the moral of this story is. You should really just get your own blankets from the basement, even if you are a lazy terd. Because if you don't, you might turn into Michael Jackson when a kind deed turns mean on accident.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

You might be in the Connor home if....

-All of your clothes are suddenly covered in birdseed.

-You wake up to find that your suitcases have been opened and rummaged through and borrowed from.

-The 17-yr-old is wearing the 9-yr-old's boots.

-The 9-yr-old is wearing the 21-yr-old's dress.

-"Mr. Grinch" counts as Sunday music.

-Rita's counts as it's own food group.

-Saying "chum chum" is acceptable if you forget the lyrics to any song.

-Your life could be a musical.

-Winnie is revered and Steve Johnson is forgotten.

-Your siblings are compared to happy porcupines when they sing.

-Someone is giving someone else a wedgie.

-There is a shrine for Philip Johnson on the fridge.

-There are 4 bathrooms and that is NOT ENOUGH

-Someone is wearing a hoodie as pants.

-Getting up to turn off the hall light is way too hard. Yelling for 10 minutes for Nicole to do it is a much more reasonable situation.

-There is only one mature adult figure present at any given time. They may or may not be you.

-"We're leaving at 12:30" means "We're leaving at 12:15" means that we leave at 12:45.

-You hear "Coming Home" 3,158 times a day.

-And you are not happy about it.

-The real meaning of Christmas is VENgeance!

-Three people sleep in one bed. One person gets 90% of the blankets.

Is there any mystery left as to why I love coming home? :)

Jesus Wants me for a Sunbeam

When I go to my home ward, I typically try to avoid big kid meetings as much as possible. Instead, I like to spend all of my time helping out in Primary!

I walked into the Primary room today and was greeted with a huge hug from the Sunbeams teacher, Sister Henderson. I was her unofficial teacher helper in the summertime and I absolutely love this lady. But even if she was terribly annoying or rude in any way, Primary would still be a highlight of my visit. I never fail to be entertained and enlightened.

Here's what happened this week:

Prayer: Someone stood at the front and gave the prayer. I didn't hear it. I did hear: "Sarah, put your dress down. All the way down." In a whisper voice, "Turn around. Turn around. Turn around. STOP! Turn around." From in front of me, "She's my favorite toy ever!" From across the room, "Big deal, I can pray, too." And, when the prayer was over, "!" sung quite beautifully.

Singing time. The children learned that it is better to give than to receive. The chorister had one child come to the front and pick a random present out of her bag. (They were small things, like a baseball, a cookie cutter, a cool plate, etc.) The child then wrapped the gift in a yellow napkin and tied a yellow ribbon on it. That child's teacher then went out into the hall and pulled in a random person who was just standing out there. The unsuspecting hallstander would come in and stand at the front of the room. All of the children then sang a verse of a Christmas song to the hallstander, the child presented them with the gift, and everyone wished them a Merry Christmas. Random gifting is so fun!

Bishopric Message. One of the counselors in the bishopric came in and told a shortened version of the story of Christ's birth. At one point, he said "They said that Jesus was going to come -" "Jesus is going to come??" There was silence. An abrupt, Shhh! And the Second Counselor continued uncertainly, "Mmmm.....they said that Jesus was going to come."

Closer to the end of his message, the Second Counselor said, "We need to be prepared for the Second Coming of Christ." A child in CTR 6 indignantly interrupted him with, "No, the third! He already came and came again, so it'll be the third. I thinkkk so." The Second Counselor shifted and laughed a little uncomfortably. "Um, so, we need to ready for when Jesus comes again," he clarified.

Classtime. After all of this, we split up into class. In Sunbeams, we read a Christmas story, set up a Nativity, and made gingerbread houses. You know I was happy about all of those things.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Pockets can be Hazardous

And in some cases, they can be downright malicious. How, you might be wondering?

This morning, I had a final at 8:30. Jacob txtd me at about 8:15 to make sure I was awake. He said, "Did you wake up?"

Rhett and Aimee drove me to school today in Rhett's dad's beautiful beautiful beautiful truck. I started to txt Jacob back while I was in the car. I was actually running a little late this morning so I didn't have a lot of time to get ready, so I said, "Yes! I am gross this morning :/ did -"

I meant to say, "Did you wake up in time for work?" but we got to campus right then, so I had to close my phone and put it in my pocket and get my stuff and get of the beautiful truck. I figured I would finish the txt later, when I wouldn't be in danger of losing my hands to frostbite.

I got to my classroom just in time to take my final and completely forgot about finishing the txt to Jacob. When I got out of my final, I saw that I had a new txt from Jacob. It said, "On that note, I just walked into the break room with the food stuff and some dude ripped a fart! 60 yr old bald guy."

I thought: Jacob is in 3rd grade. Then I thought, Oh well. I can humor him. So I replied really nicely in a way that showed I accept his fart humor.

Then I thought, On what note? I looked back in my txts and realized I had missed one. It was from Jacob, and it said: "You pooped?"

I thought: Okay, there is a line! Why is he asking me if I pooped??

I looked back through my txts from the whole day. Apparently, my pocket helpfully finished my txt from this morning and sent it on its merry way. The txt that Jacob got said: "Yes! I am gross this morning :/ did P000000"

And that is why you really need to be careful when pairing phones with pockets.

Sunday, December 11, 2011


A lot of people, when they want to be bangin' like a speaker box, will resort to extreme measures. We are always hearing about extreme diets and extreme exercise routines and how dangerous they are. I am not an extremist. I stay FAR away from these extremes!

Here is my diet: I only eat food that I want to eat. I am okay with wasting food if it is disgusting. Why would I stuff myself full of nasty calories when I could just eat delicious calories?! I used to pick around around my food, eating the worst bites first and saving the best parts for last. But now, I start with the best bites and if I am still hungry by the time I get to the not-as-good bites, then I will eat them. Otherwise, I will throw them out. That's not too extreme, is it?

Here is my exercise routine: Occasionally do ab-strengthening, core-strengthening, and body-toning exercises for 20 mins with Aimee at home. Walk to campus every day. Walk home from campus every day. Walk up and down stairs. Um....yep, that's about it.

But this week, I did get a little extreme. Aimee, her fiance Rhett, and I - we all got a little extreme. We signed up for 7-day trial memberships at Gold's Gym. To get our ($0) money's worth, we are determined to go every day this week! After getting some marriage advice from a condescending, bald smoker named Otis who had been married 3 times, we were able to get started.

In Florida, there was a fitness center by my apartment, and I would sometimes go there and run on the treadmill. (I'm using the term "run" very loosely here.) Compared to that place that only had 3 treadmills, Gold's Gym in Provo is EXTREME! When I walked in, I was immediately intimidated by all the machines that resemble guillotines. I was less intimidated by all the super-serious worker-outers running on treadmills, so Aimee and I headed for the movie room.

The movie room is EXTREME! and kind of dangerous. There are a bunch of exercise bikes, treadmills, and stair-steppers all facing a big screen. The lights are turned so low that you can't read the buttons on the treadmill. Even worse, you can't always tell how close you are to the other machines until you almost get taken out by one of the stair-steppers.

But even with all these hazards, I like working out in the movie room, because I don't compare myself to as many people. When I'm in the main treadmill room, with normal lighting, I compare myself to everyone else in the room. I can't do that in the movie room because I can only see, like, three other people. Everyone else gets swallowed up in the darkness.

When I am running, my music has to be a little extreme. Just a lowercase kind of extreme. I also have to listen to happy music. Angry music doesn't motivate me as well as happy music does. I have to listen to my funnest, most upbeat songs. They have to make me want to run SO bad or else I'll just settle for a 3.5 mph speed-walk. That is not extreme.

Not only does my music have to make me want to run, but it also has to make me want to dance! I don't know if anyone notices in the dark abyss that is the movie room, but I zigzag across the treadmill as I run. I constantly change the speed so I can step in time with the beat. I almost fall off at least twice every workout. I find myself running into the handlebar in front of me. I accidentally step one foot off the treadmill and my hands fly to the bars on either side of me, clinging to them frantically as I regain my footing. It's an adventure, to say the least.

As I run, I like to set goals for myself. Setting goals is awesome! But it is not as awesome if your goals change every minute. My goals change every minute. I'll think, I just need to keep up this pace until I get to 15 minutes. Then I'll think, Actually. I don't have to run that long if I can reach 100 calories burned before then. Then I'll think, Okay. I'm not allowed to walk during the chorus of this song. Or, I'm almost to 1 mile! When I get to a mile, I'm allowed to take a little walk break. You get the idea.

Unfortunately, listening to so many extreme songs and working out in such an EXTREME environment with EXTREME lighting is only fun for a little bit. Aimee and I are tired of running. We are proud of Rhett and Jacob for having gym passes, but we will not be signing up. We'll just stick to Bikini Body for now, thanks.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Cutting Corners

I don't know if I've ever mentioned how much I love the sun (1, 2, 3 times at least) but let me just reiterate: I love the sun. I do not like it when I leave work at 6 and it's already completely gone down for the night.

It also hurts my feelings that Provo is apparently participating in the Great Freeze-out of 2011. Last night, I went to see the Zoolights at the Hogle Zoo with Jacob, Kelly and Dahl. I was wearing a ten-ta, a long-sleeved shirt, a fleece jacket, my blue pea coat, a huge big beige marshmallow coat, and gloves. I ran through the zoo, dashing from one heater to the next. I spent my time in the Reptile House thawing out. I was a little bit cold, and I feel like that's weird since I was wearing so many clothes.

Today, I left the Writing Center. It was 26* outside. The sun was gone. I walked through the barren wasteland that our campus has turned into, darting into buildings whenever I could to cut a jagged (but slightly warmer) path home. I left one building and crossed the sidewalk. I was about to step onto the frosted mulch when something stopped me.

"Cougars don't cut corners," trilled a self-righteous voice in my head. I started to turn, intending to follow the sidewalk instead of cutting across the grass. Then, another thought occurred to me. I jerked back around and stepped defiantly on the frozen patch of brown.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I thought snappishly. "Was something about to grow here? Did I ruin a poor defenseless flower's lifelong dream of growing up in the Ice Age?"

I'm not the only one who's being affected by the drop in temperature, either. Today in the Writing Center, Bryce the Grammar Tutor said to me: "I just tutored the most stressed-out girl ever. She was constantly checking the time, and taking off her glasses and then putting them back on, and just fidgeting and was stressing me out just sitting by her!" I thought to myself, Hmmm. I wonder how that would be. I've never tutored someone who was that stressed out. I wonder how I would react? Would I be patient and nice? Or would I get snappy?

Lucky for me, the very next person on the list would have made Bryce's tutee look like Colbie Caillat - the picture of calm and unruffled. Meaning I didn't have long to wait before all of these questions were answered. I would be patient and nice in such a situation! I would have the patience of Job! I would not snap. I would be encouraging throughout the entire thing. I would even invite the drama queen back for more.

This was a boy in desperate need of some Vitamin D. As we talked, he ran his fingers through his hair, dropped his face into his hands, and reassured me multiple times that he hadn't been putting off the paper and it was just a really hard assignment for him. I wanted to tell him that it was a hard assignment because he was trying to write an opinion editorial and his teacher wanted him to write an issues paper, but I honestly thought he was going to cry if I told him that. I suggested he add some statistics to support some of his ideas.

"WHAT!?" he screamed, flipping the desk over. "You want me to bounce on my head all the way to China and back?"

"No," I calmly replied. "I am simply suggesting that you add some support from outside sources. Please, have a seat. Can I get you a cushion? No? Well how about I just write your conclusion?"

Okay so maybe that's not exactly how the conversation went, but you get the idea.

And all because the sun couldn't be bothered to bless us with its kiss for more than 5 hours a day.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Black Friday, Black Friday

So I wanted to include a funny video in this post, maybe of someone getting trampled on Black Friday or someone snatching something else out of someone's hands and in turn getting punched in the face......but unfortunately there's this viral video going around and it's kind of screwing up my search results. So here you go instead.

Anyway, I actually celebrated Black Friday on Thursday, right after Thanksgiving dinner. I spent it in the magazine / book section of the Walmart in Cedar Hills with Kelly, Amy, and Jacob. We got chairs from the camping section, grabbed some books and magazines, and hung out there from 4pm - 12 midnight, when we got our 40-inch TV's for $250. Worth it!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Giving of Thanks

I heard recently about this thing called "First Class Problems." It's when you complain about something that those less fortunate than you would lovvve to complain about. Here are some examples:

"This dress is way too loose!" Those less fortunate than you - anyone who has put on a few pounds and can't seem to find a scrap of clothing that is even close to loose on them.

"My boyfriend wants to hang out alllll the time and it's so annoying!" Those less fortunate than you - anyone who are neglected by their boyfriend. Maybe he is too busy cheating on them. Maybe he just went to California while you stayed behind. Whatever.

"Ugh! I can't rotate the PDF on my iPad touch!" Those less fortunate than you - anyone who doesn't have an iPad touch.

"My boobs are way too big, they never fit in anything!" Those less fortunate than you - oh, me. Shut up about it.

You understand. Since it is Thanksgiving, not a single First Class Problem will escape my lips this holiday or on this blog! Instead, I will list things I am grateful for. One thing for each letter of the alphabet.

** I'm not including people, since feelings might get hurt. You guys, I'm just too popular! (Kidding.) But please know that I am more grateful for people than any of these things :)

A - Awful Waffle. Best crepes in Provo, I love it!

B - babies. They're so dang cute!

C - Christmas. I cannot wait!

D - Daddies. Kind of a person, but also I'm just grateful for daddies in general. They're so sweet and hardworking and selfless.

E - exercise videos. Thank you, Lena Pareira!

F - Florida. I sometimes think I dreamed my life there. It was a very nice dream.

G - girl friends. I don't know what I would do without my friends! I have been so blessed with the most loyal and fun girl friends and I love them to death.

H - Heavenly Father.

I - ice cream. I work at ColdStone, so obviously it is my passion! Just kidding, but I really am thankful for it.
J - Jesus. I'm so grateful to be a member of his church and grateful that he wants to have a personal relationship with me. I'll never be able to thank him enough for what he's done for me, but putting him on this list is a good start I think!

K - kissing. Mhmm. It's a nice thing.

L - laughter.

M - moms. Mine is obviously the best, but I'm grateful for moms in general. It's so great that in today's society with so many pressures to choose something different, there are still women who think it's important to have and raise children, who are willing to put the needs of their children in front of their own desires.

N - naps.

O - optimistic thoughts. It's never been super-hard for me to be happy and optimistic, and I am grateful that that comes naturally to me. I know it is a struggle for lots of people.

P - This guy gets me through all my homeworks.

Q - questions. I am grateful for the chances I get to ask questions, and for the questions other people ask me about myself. I am grateful that I am not afraid to ask questions.

R - rights. I'm grateful to live in a country where my rights are defended daily. I'm grateful for the concept of rights, the idea that we have inherent worth.

S - sunshine. Anyone surprised?

T - taste. Can you imagine if we couldn't taste? Eating would be a chore, something we just had to fit into our busy schedules. Instead it is a delight, all because of taste. We've just learned how to appreciate it.

U - underwears. Cute underwear can make you feel instantly better, even though no one else would be able to tell the difference if you had on granny panties or a thong. It's nice to have something so simple just for your own enjoyment.

V - Vera Bradley lanyard. I love mine!

W - washer in my apartment. It is so handy and convenient.

X - X. This x represents everything that I forgot. As in, I am grateful for x. :)

Y - yesterday! I am grateful for all the great memories I have, the wonderful opportunities I've enjoyed so far in my life.

Z - zippers. It is nice when they don't get stuck. And when they stay up.

So there you go! What are you thankful for?

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Way of the Ninja

This morning, Mariah and I were sitting at our work table in the 1st grade classroom that we are doing our practicum in. At 8:40, the kids all bustled in, cheeks and noses flushed from the cold, and started hanging up their coats and backpacks. Duncan, one of the smartest kids in the class, made his way over to me.

"Miss Connor!" he said breathlessly. "Today I'm doing the way of the ninja! Because they don't eat breakfast so I didn't eat breakfast! And I'm not even that hungry!"

After a quick lesson on the benefits of a healthy breakfast, I realized that he wasn't interested in health if it wasn't going to make him a better ninja. I gave up and congratulated him.

Monday, October 31, 2011


Jacob and I are not Twihards.

But we tried to be satirical and clever and hot all at once for Halloween this year when, at the suggestion of Kelly, we dressed up like Jacob Black and a Jacob Black fan.

Please notice the detail in my costume. The teeny-bopper pink boots. The floofy headband. The lopsided pigtails. And you can't see it, but my shirt says "Team Jacob!" and has hearts all over it. There are also other phrases, such as "I run with wolves," "Mrs. Jacob Black," and "I wanna bake cookies on your stomach."

Jacob also got really into his role and even went tanning. But unfortunately, instead of coming back all sunkissed and pleasantly bronzed, he came back with a bad sunburn. To accommodate his bright pink pigmentation, we threw together sunburned tourist costumes for the first night of Halloween.

Another year. Another Halloween. Another success. :) I love this holiday.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Comedy of Errors

Sometimes, it is New Pencil Day at the Writing Center. This is always a very exciting day but generally the excitement (and the pencils) only last for about that long. We don't know what happens, but somehow, if New Pencil Day is on a Monday, the New Pencils will be Old Pencils by Tuesday and Disappeared Pencils by Thursday.

One day, Tom was complaining about the state of the erasers. He actually went on kind of a rampage about it. Someone, it appeared, was picking the erasers off of the new pencils. He wanted to know who. He wanted to know why. He wanted it to stop. Tom has a kind of blustery personality so this outburst was not too shocking.

On this day, the Writing Center was not too busy. But the computer lab in 4051 was, so Kylie Marquis got kicked out and sent into the Writing Center in 4026, where all the other tutors were. A friendly conversation picked up at the Tutor Table.

All of a sudden, I noticed Kylie flinging something small across the table. I noticed the pencil that was in her hand as she leaned forward and put it back in the pencil basket. I noticed that the eraser was missing from the pencil and I realized that she had just flung the eraser across the table.

"Tooooom!" I said, pointing at the pencil.

Tom looked at the pencil and then at Kylie. He leapt to his feet, snatched up the pencil, and loomed over Kylie, enraged. "It's youuu!" he shouted, the vein in his neck throbbing. "You are doing this!"

Kylie cringed in her seat, covering her face with her hands. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she said, leaning away from Tom.

"I can't use this!" he yelled, and dramatically snapped the pencil in half. "It's USELESS!"

"I'm sorry! It's a bad habit! I need to be something with my hands, I wasn't doing anything so I just picked at the eraser, it was just there....I'm sorry, okay??"

Eventually Tom stopped shouting, Kylie stopped cowering, and the laughter petered out.

A few days later, I picked up a shift in the Writing Center at 10:00 in the morning, when I never work. Penny, the Writing Center Director, came out of her office to discuss some things with us tutors and Kathy, the secretary. Once she was done with what she had to say, she sat at the table pondering for a minute and happened to notice the jar of sad, eraser-less pencils.

"What.....what happened to all the pencils??" she asked, gingerly picking one up to examine it. "I just got these this week, they were new this week, what happened to all of them?" She turned the pencil over in her hand. "I mean, this pencil had a fine eraser when I got it and's just destroyed, do you see that? How did this happen? That is obscene! Someone must be chewing the erasers or picking them off. And I bought these with my own money. .....It was a dollar, but still, these are cute pencils, they are really cute! Who is doing this? Do you know who is doing this?"

Of course I thought of the incident a few days earlier. I thought it was really funny, so I decided to share. "Well I don't know about all the pencils but Tom is really mad about it, too. It was so funny, the other day....." Blablabla. I shared the exchange I had witnessed. Penny nodded seriously as I spoke.

"So it's Kylie. Which Kylie?"

There are two Kylies in the Writing Center, Kylie Marquis and Kylie McQuarrie. I said Kylie Marquis was the one in my story.

Penny nodded. "Okay, so what we need to do is give her her own pencils. She can pick the erasers off those ones if she wants. And those will be her pencils and she can't use any other pencils, and no one else can use her pencils. And we'll put her name on them so everyone knows. And she can get two pencils per week. And that should take care of it. Kathy, will you do that? Will you make two pencils for Kylie? Because I mean, this is ridiculous. can't use these. And these were new, I got them just this week, and now they're ruined. I mean, that is obscene!"

I thought that was a really funny solution to the problem. It was 10:55 when I left and I passed Kylie Marquis as she was just coming in. "There's a present for you on the table!" I said on my way out, and felt a little sad that I didn't get to see how she would react.

I came back at 4 for my normal shift, which I work with Kylie McQuarrie. As I sat down at the Tutor Table, she said, "Did you tell Penny that Kylie Marquis was picking the erasers off the pencils?"

I paused. This sounded tricky. I said, "Ye-es. But not to be mean or tattle tale, I just thought it was a funny story so I told her about Tom getting mad at her. Why?"

Kylie smiled serenely. "Oh, I thought so. She's been mad at Heather Zollinger all day."

Heather Zollinger is the other Heather who works at the Writing Center and I guess Kylie Marquis thought that she was the snitch.

Kylie McQ said, still smiling: "And, it's actually me who's been picking off all the erasers."

"What!" This was astounding to me.

"Yes," she said, not really ashamed. "It's just a habit, I just like doing it. I think Kylie Marquis has maybe picked the erasers off of 3 pencils."

So as it turns out, Kylie Marquis got in trouble for Kylie McQ's crime, and blamed Heather Zollinger for (wrongly) ratting her out, when really it was Heather Connor.

How did we resolve this dilemma? Kylie McQ ratted herself out to Penny. She explained that Kylie Marquis isn't the only one destroying the pencils. I ratted myself out to Kylie Marquis with a nice note in her cubby. Penny addressed the issue at staff meeting this morning. And peace was restored in the Writing Center.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Too Hot to Handle

Here's what's out of hand: the temperature in the LRC. It should notttt. Be hovering around an unfriendly 906* when there are people in here trying to work. Why. WHY? This is a problem every year! Every year I complain to the people at the desk. Every year the conversation goes something like this:

me: Hi. Are you guys in charge of the temperature in here? Cuz it's really hot. (Don't worry. I realize this is stating the obvious.)

desk person (making the same sympathetic face they probably perfected 3 yrs ago when this first became a problem): Sorrrryyy! We're actually not in charge of it. We've talked to (blank - I never really listen to this part but usually they say something ambiguous like "the building," "the administration," "the people in charge," etc.-) about it and they're working on getting it fixed.

me: Oh. I'm sorry you have to work here when it's so hot!

We both laugh in our misery at the heat. In my head, I blame the desk person for not storming around until it gets fixed. In their head, they hate me because I don't have to stay here and I'm just wasting their time asking the same stupid question that they get 10 times a day and besides that, I've just reminded them of their sorry existence.

But seriously I don't understand why this happens every year. I could understand if one year the AC was broken, but I will never understand why the same problem happens repeatedly. Who is in charge?? Who needs to be fired?

I'm about to blame Jake Heaps for this.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


I know last year I turned 19, but somewhere between then and now, I turned 20. And this year on October 9, I turned 21.

My birthday this year included:

1. Lunch at Tucano's (obviously, we couldn't break the tradition!) with Winnie, Aimee, Christine, Kristen, and Jacob. Very different group than last year's, but I loved it just as much :)

2. a delicious dinner at Mimi's Cafe with Jacob. Sooo good!

3. a movie in the Water Gardens theater with Jacob.

4. a surprise waiting for me when I got home! Complete with cake, ice cream, friends, streamers, and handmade surprise signs. I have the best friends!

5. pancake breakfast made by Jacob on Sunday morning, my actual birthday.

6. church in my own ward.....weirdly, since I haven't been there since the first Sunday of the semester. Still, it was a lovely day at church and Kelly and Dahl came, too.

7. presents :)

8. dinner at the Salmons, which was delicious as always.

9. phone calls from my Grandma Connor, my siblings, and my mom.

10. a birthday package from my family! Nice-os :)

It was a wonderful birthday and I hope next year's is just as good!

Friday, September 30, 2011

T Swizzle

One day in August, Jacob and I went to the Awful Waffle for a little snack. He said he had a question to ask me before we came to pick me up, so I asked him while we were enjoying our crepes, "What did you want to ask me?"

He said, "What are you doing on September 28th?"

I thought that was kind of a weird question. I said, "Um....well I can check my schedule? I think I have plans...what am I doing then?"

He said, "Do you want to go to Taylor Swift's concert with me?"

You guys, I came this close to peeing my pants when he said that. Do you know how much I love Taylor Swift?? If I could only go to one concert in my life, that's the one I would want to go to. I love her songs, know the words to almost all of them, love her clothes, and kind of want to be her sometimes - or at least be as awesome as her. That would be cool.

Obviously I said yes.

This week, I was a little sicky, but I was determined to be better in time for T-Swift. Jacob and I tried to prepare by listening to only Taylor Swift songs in the car, watching her music videos, and watching some SNL skits from when she hosted it.

On Wednesday, September 28th, Jacob picked me up from my class at 4. We stopped by my apartment so I could change and eat a little bit, and then we set off for Salt Lake!

We got there at about 5:30, which was perfect because then we had time to look around and take some pictures. There were at least 15 or 20 trucks with Taylor's Covergirl pictures on them. There were also different stages for radio stations giving out pit passes and autographed guitars and cool things like that. Jacob caught some mascara for me so I was pretty pumped about that!

At about 6:45 we got in line to get in. While we were standing there, Jacob said, "I think that girl just took a picture of you!" I looked where he was looking and there were 5 or 6 middle-school girls all looking from a cell phone to me and then at each other. Hmmmm.

"WHY?" I asked Jacob, looking straight at the girls.

Jacob didn't know. We stood there looking at the girls, very confused, until the mom with them leaned out of their line and said, laughing, "I'm sorry! She just thought you two made the CUTEST couple so she had to take a picture."

"I....! Well they....just look! I didn't get....okay well now I'll just take it obviously," the girl with the cell phone sputtered. We laughed and felt flattered and posed for a picture.

After that, we were in! We found our seats, way up in the top and to the left of the stage. There were screens on either side of the stage but our seats were too far to the left of the stage, so we couldn't see it very well. Until we scooted down to some empty seats and took them for ourselves. Oops....

As we sat there, waiting for the concert to begin, we tried taking a picture of ourselves, but it just wasn't working out. The lady behind us kindly asked if we wanted her to take one. We kindly thanked her. She kindly told us that we were just so cute, she had to offer! Apparently people who go to T-Swift concerts are all super nice :)

After the opening acts, Taylor came out onstage! She opened with "Sparks Fly," one of my favorites, and I'm pretty sure everyone in the Energy Solutions Arena was singing along. The music ended, but the cheering didn't even slow down.

"Hello Salt Lake City!" Taylor said, waving. We cheered. "I'm Taylor," she said, placing one hand on her chest. I wish people would get as excited when I introduce myself as we all did then!

The rest of the night was absolutely amazing. She sang almost every song from her "Speak Now" album and some from "Fearless." She changed her outfit and hair several times. There was smoke, confetti, a violin sextet, and a fake wedding. Fireworks shot from the ceiling, sparks showered down on the stage, ballerinas tiptoed around each other, and the set changed as often as the song. Taylor ran off the stage and walked through the audience, giving hugs to all the lucky pit pass holders. She played the piano, guitar, ukelele, and banjo. She did a cover of Neon Trees' "Animal" and played a little "I'm Yours" (Jason Mraz) and "Apologize" (Timbaland) with her other songs.

And in the end, after we all thought she was done, this happened:

Dear Taylor,

I had the best day with you today.



Monday, September 26, 2011

Sicky vs. Pregnant

This weekend, I was very productive. And I had a lot of fun. And I got a lot of sleep. And I felt so great the whole weekend.

Then this morning, I woke up, and I was very post-nasal drippy, and my head was in a metaphorical bucket, and my throat was annoyed, and my ears were sad. And even though I did take a nap, and took some medicine, and drank some caramel-spice apple cider from Starbucks -which, in my book, is every bit as good as medicine - nothing has changed about my condition. In fact, it has worsened.

As it turns out, I get very needy when I'm sick. I just feel like everyone should give me lots of tender loving care and anticipate my needs. Then I realize how unrealistic and unfair that is, and I get annoyed at myself. So it's a vicious cycle.

Furthermore, I don't know how I got sick, but there are many possible culprits. Girls in my classes, people I tutored in the Writing Center, people I sat by at the football game on Friday....any of them could have been the one who thoughtlessly spread their germs to me. As I sat in class, sniffling and feeling sorry for myself, I looked around at all the other girls sniffling and felt acutely annoyed at all of them. I didn't know who to blame, so I blamed everyone. I glared at them and thought, "You did this to me!"

When I went to work tonight, I told this to a guy I work with, named Chris. He laughed and said, "You're going to be terrible to be around when you're pregnant."

My wrath found a new target right when these words finished coming out of his mouth.

"What?" I snapped. "No I won't. I'll be nice. Why would you say that?"

Chris put his hands out in a conciliatory gesture. "Calm down," he said, "I just mean....'you did this to me?' When you're pregnant you might think that.....never mind, calm down!"

I hate when people tell me to calm down. It's not like I'm out of hand. But if you keep telling me to calm down, I just might reach that point.

"No, that's completely different," I argued. "I don't know who got me sick. And I didn't ask for their germs. When I'm pregnant, I'm going to know who got me pregnant. And I'm going to be happy about it."

Chris nodded patronizingly at me. "You're right," he said, obviously just to appease me.

It was very annoying.

It's okay, though. You want to know why?

1. I got a string of pearls today! They are beautiful and I love them and I'm so excited and I'm never taking them off.

2. I am going to be better tomorrow. I just will be.

3. Taylor Swift is coming on Wednesday!!! And I am going to see her! And I am seriously going to pee my pants, I am so excited :) :) :)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

No Blog Title

Why is there no blog title today? Because I was only prepared with blog titles to use when BYU beat Utah.

There's us before the game! Look at those smiles. We had great seats, right in the endzone, row 15 or 18 or something like that.

Oh. There's us halfway through the 4th quarter. We left when the score was only 30-something to 10. We found a Dairy Queen and went inside to drown our sorrows in a bowl of ice cream. (Or a Blizzard and some fries.) We weren't the only ones; there were many college students sporting "Rise Up" t-shirts sitting in a miserable silence at tables around the room.

Nottt a good day to be a Cougar.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Cultural Diorama

For my TELL 400 class, we were required to gather 3 things from our house that represent us and our cultural identity. Here are my three things:

Label: an East Coast girl who loves writing, memories, and sunshine.

1. sunglasses

These are my favorite sunglasses. I got them from Forever 21 a few months ago and wear them almost every day. These sunglasses represent who I am because I love the summertime, girly things, and good deals. This past winter, I left the frigid state of Utah for sunny Florida and I've never regretted that decision. I just love sunshine and Florida had that in abundance.

I am an East Coast girl, born and raised in Maryland, and I grew up in a fairly well-off community. I chose these sunglasses to represent that because big sunglasses are kind of trendy and a lot of celebrities wear them. My sunglasses have a floral design printed on the inside of them, which I like because it adds a touch of girliness. I love being trendy and dressing up, and I've definitely been accused of being girly (I won't argue with that!). At the same time, I hate spending lots of money. I think these sunglasses were about $6, which is just the kind of price I like for sunglasses.

2. camera

This is my camera. It’s not anything fancy, but it gets the job done and I love it! My mom loved taking pictures when I was little; anything was an excuse. I remember going to the dentist with my sisters and we were all dressed up so we could take pictures by the Washington, D.C. temple on our way home. I’ve always loved taking pictures so I didn’t mind. My older sister, Kelly, also loves taking pictures, and we both feel that almost any activity is worth it if we get good pictures out of it. My friends always tease me because I have over 2000 pictures on my Facebook, but I just feel like pictures are a great way to preserve memories!

3. pen

My favorite kind of pen is the Pentel Profile pen - really specific I know, but if you've ever used one you will understand! - but any pen could be used to represent who I am. Besides teaching, writing is my passion. I loved writing stories when I was little and I still hope that one day I will be able to publish a book. In the meantime, I keep a blog, write in a journal, send out missionary letters, and work in the Writing Center on campus.

I also chose a pen to represent education. Doing well in school was always expected and celebrated in my family. Both parents were willing to help me with homework whenever I needed it. My dad is the smartest man I know and was always my go-to man for help with anything involving math, science, or religion. He taught me, through his example, that education is extremely valuable, and intelligence is worth the hard work it takes to attain it. My mom is very creative and always gave me good ideas for big school projects. She didn't finish college but is always learning something new on her own. Still, she always tells my siblings and me how smart she thinks we are and encourages us in all our academic pursuits. Seeing how my parents value education taught me to value it the same way.

Aside from my family's influence, I come from a community that prides itself on it's public education system. I went to school in Howard County my whole life, one of the best school districts in Maryland based on the Maryland School Assessments. More than 90% of the students who graduate from Howard County schools continue their education following high school, a statistic that few communities even come close to. The public library five minutes away from my house is recognized as one of the best in the nation.

As a child I didn't realize how lucky I was, but I can see now that I was greatly blessed where education is concerned. I was given all the resources I could possibly need to succeed in school. I grew to love education, especially when we did anything that involved writing, and now I'm on my way to becoming a teacher!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Radishes and Destiny

Every day in my email, I get the word of the day. Recently, they also started sending me a quote of the day. Today's quote is from an Irish dramatist and novelist named Samuel Beckett.

He said, "What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes."

I'm thinking he probably doesn't know much about radishes, seeing as how he is a dramatist / novelist and not a farmer. Especially when you consider that he is Irish and they have mostly potatoes over there. Except, do they still have potatoes since the big potato famine? Whatever, my point is, I really like this quote. No one can really know what's going to happen to them.

You might think you're going to go to class at 8 on a Friday morning only to remember when you arrive at an empty classroom that your class was cancelled.

You might think you're going to get a pedicure in Salt Lake on a Friday afternoon only to wind up in a car accident and miss your appointment.

You might think that you're going to marry someone, and everyone else might think so too, but despite all their references to your amazing chemistry and strong connection with that person, someone better might come along and you might end up loving them and getting engaged before the person you thought you wanted to marry even gets home from their mission.

You might think you have your life all figured out, but in reality, you probably know more about radishes than you know about your own destiny.

And I actually like that a lot. Because then, you find yourself with an extra three hours that you reallyy needed to do homework. And you get to go out to eat with your in-laws and you happen to go to the mall and your sister finds a great sale and buys 3 dresses for $ at least it was good for someone? And if you had gotten a pedicure that day you might have ended up with a nasty foot fungus because the salon didn't clean out the foot baths very often. And you're totally in love with your fiance and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, since you are the only one whose opinion really matters in the end.

**Just to clarify: the situations I talk about in this blog are hypothetical. I'm not engaged. :) **

I think if I knew everything that was going to happen to me, I wouldn't really be able to live. How could you love someone you knew you weren't going to end up with? How could you audition for a play if you knew you weren't going to get the part you wanted? Why would you spend two years in a major that you would end up deciding was not the major for you?

And if you didn't love that person, and didn't audition for that play, and didn't spend two years in that major, then who knows what else you would miss out on. Which is why I like this life, because I'm not in charge, and I don't want someone who doesn't know squat about destiny or radishes to be in charge of my life.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011


The other day, some guy with great pecs picked me up from working at Coldstone.

We went to Cafe West, which is in the hospital and has amazing food that is also super-cheap. While we were in line trying to decide what to order, the lady at the register (named Karma) said, "You guys just look so cute together! You're both just so blonde and cute."

We thought that was sweet of her. Then I looked at our friendship on facebook. This is what I found:

Yep. We're super-cute.


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

How to Look Like a Freshman 101

Another semester is beginning, and I feel like my beloved campus in under attack. The population on campus seems to have septupled overnight, and I am not the happiest camper about it.

1. Class Tardiness

If you want to look like an upperclassman, stroll in a few minutes late, looking unconcerned.

If you want to look like it is your second or third semester, rush in a few minutes late looking slightly flustered but not breathing heavily and dripping sweat.

If you want to look like a freshman, dash frantically into your class after attacking several more knowledgeable looking students asking for directions.

2. Lunchtime

Upperclassmen look around at the crowd, annoyed. They find a table quickly and set their stuff down to save their spot before getting in one of the appallingly long lines. They sometimes bring their own lunches or snacks in order to avoid the lines altogether.

Relatively experienced students will have a look of grudging resignation as they scan the jampacked CougarEat. They have not mastered the art of finding a table, but usually will not plunk down at a table with strangers and try to strike up a conversation. They wait in line for their entire break, scarf down their food, and then hurry off to their next class.

Freshmen, almost without fail, have a meal plan. They do not pack a lunch for themselves. They can never seem to find a table. They usually end up sidling up to a table with an empty seat and asking if they can join the people already there. They see it as a nice way to make friends. It seems like upperclassmen have gotten over this pretty quickly and just want to sit and eat in peace. If they can't find a table at the CougarEat, they will find one elsewhere or get their food to go.

3. Walking Home

Older students know their way around Provo. They know how to find a place just by knowing it's address. (When someone asks them, mystified, how they can do this, they shrug and say something about a grid system. Whatever.)

Sophomores have usually just moved out of freshmen housing and are more likely to get lost and call their friends for directions.

Freshmen typically do not know directions yet and are uncomfortable going anywhere other than their apartment, if they are just walking. Some people never grow out of this. Oh, me. That's me. I called Aimee about 4 times trying to get home from campus yesterday.

4. Dance Classes

If you want to look like a freshman, the best way to do this is by taking a 100 level dance class. It is easy easy easy to pick out which of the male dancers are freshmen.

5. The Bookstore

Buy all your books at the BYU Bookstore. Wince a little as you hand over your card, but just accept the outrageous prices as a fact of life. Don't think to look on or Don't even consider asking friends who may have taken the class before you or going to Boomerang Books to see if there are better deals there. That's not what you do if you want to look like a freshman.

6. Parking

There is no way to not look like a freshman when it comes to parking. It is heinous. It is atrocious. The only solution would be to bring back the bus passes.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I think I have a sign on my head that says

"Feed Me." Because for the past 2 days, that is all that people have done when they see me. It is great!

Monday breakfast: donuts from French class.

Monday midmorning snack: cookie from Rachel.

Monday lunch: baked beans, pulled pork sandwich, and mashed potatoes from BYUSA in celebration of the term ending.

Monday midafternoon snack: some sort of bread or something in the Writing Center.

Monday dinner: dinner at the 2nd counselor in my bishopric's house. Asian chicken salad wrap, grapes, vegetables and ranch dressing, pink lemonade and raspberry lemon sorbet for dessert.

Monday after-dinner: food from Shoots. Winnie came over and brought some of my favorite things from her restaurant. Which is amazing.

Monday dessert: then Jacob came over and brought me a Rolo McFlurry from McDonalds. Delicus.

Tuesday breakfast: Brick Oven pizza, strawberries, and salad from the Writing Center.

Tuesday lunch: same thing.

Tuesday snack: donuts from the Writing Center.

Tuesday dinner: I wasn't even hungry.

Wednesday breakfast: Zucchini bread from Brad at the Writing Center.

Wednesday lunch: ? I'm about to go out on a lunch date now so we'll see :)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Remember When: Florida

Hullo Liv, Jackie and Christine :) I am posting this list just for your enjoyment. Thanks for a wonderful semester!

Remember when.....

-We met Olivia and Jackie went to work out immediately and then ate prenatal vitamins, and I called my family to tell them all the groceries I bought....

-We went through lines our whole first day and no one even fed us :(

-Olivia and Jackie jumped in the pool and Liv had Relief Society arms

-***** was in love with Liv and **** was in love with Christine and ***** was in love with me

-.....and then we left Florida and.....nothing

-Liv bought red high heels

-Liv made up a love song about ****

-I went to work out because of the beautiful boy and I never saw him again, but still worked out occasionally

-Christine's coordinator called her out for calling in when she wasn't sick, just joking, and she said, "I'm on my period, so BACK OFF!"

-Jackie needed to not be so guarded and stop caring about what Bruce thinks

-**** wasn't into the whole "makey-outty think"

-But **** was

-"Leeeett'sss, getitonnn"

-We got lost looking for Twisty Treats and went to McDonalds instead and Liv got us free lemonade because she was barefoot and pantsless

-Liv and I watched Last Song and I cried

-We went to Expedition Everest and I looked like a retard in the picture!?

-"I'm sorry??"

-Liv greeted the morning with no pants on and the girl looked at her weird, like that wasn't normal

-We danced in the tornado rain in our swimsuits

-We made that delicious cinnamon streusel cake with ****'s pan and he hated us. Specifically Liv

-Liv straddled James the British man on the bus ride home

-We went for an ice cream run and everyone ate their ice cream in 3.672 seconds.....I mean, a week....

-Except the nasty berry granola kind.

-Jesse though Liv and I hated Jackie??

-***** said Liv was loud

-We went to the hoedown and witnessed a proposal, complete with blue flowers, a defective microphone, and mackin with cowboy hats on

-We laid out and listened to conference

-We didn't have a tv :(

-We wore biks and nobody judged

-the only time Sean saw me was when I was immodest....

-Dallin took Olivia and I on a motorcycle ride after church and we looked hottt in our dresses and heels

-I turned into a lobster at the beach and hurt soooo, frickin, ba-ad

-Olivia and Christine didn't have nearly enough cocoa butter / lotion (for jokesies)

-the lady at McDonalds recognized Jax and Liv

-We went to Chick-Fil-A three days in a row and did not feel regret

-Olivia stole the tabletoppers from all the restaurants and Jackie called Jimmy John's to apologize

-We all called in to lay out by the pool and go out to eat and see Elder Bednar (does that last one redeem us?)

-Brad got an awesome island condo and everyone was going to call in and go and party and get tons of action......but it never happened?

-Brad made plans and followed through with no hassle! - wait, don't remember that.

-We listened to Avril Lavigne's song 42,836 times a day.

-Olivia had never heard of a cock block

-But **** was the very definition of one

-Olivia found a crab claw on the beach, and she accepted it

-And Heather found a dead and decaying sea turtle and 381 cigarette butts

-The French boy got my number at McD's and wanted to go to Bliss with me, but I didn't know his name, so we decided to "keep in touch, kiss!"

-Jackie was in love with a black man (surprise) and a Mexican named Joaquin

-I was in love with.....everyone else

-Sarah (my sister) said to Sean, "Oh I see, you're crushin' on my sister?"

-but that was inaccurate, since he was actually crushin' on random guests

-We spent money at the outlets and we were poor! but happy :)

-Chris did not see Christine's boob! (yeah, okay)

-Chris had prickly chest hair and Olivia loved it when he hugged her goodbye

-Jackie was flirting with Brad and then saw Sy's roommate....tots awk

-Nobody held a candle to us in our red high heels

-We got hit on my Moroccans in Epcot and they gave us food and took our friend Kelsey

-We thudded. (Downstairs mixup, part 2)

-I learned how to surf!

-We got donuts and hair products and bread from our church

-Correction: Liv got donuts

-Liv ripped her pants cheerleading

-Smelling feet was normal

-Olivia and Jackie were wrestling when Sean came over

-Heather dumped Prince Eric, married Flynn Ryder, and dated Hercules.

-I had an entire drawer full of nail polish

-Everything we said was amazing and earth-shattering, according to ****

-Olivia and I played soda pong and Liv had to drink my soda, too

-Jackie probably caused a heart attack with a single txt

-Heather just wanted a "K"

-Eric Mullen was our (IDIOT) busdriver

-We rode in a taxi home from Walmart

-that BOY! told us that BYU and UNLV were rivals. Who knew??

-Heather was making a mistake because he was "worth it"

-We all hated Goodings. Stupid Goodings.

-Jackie and Heather paid $2.50 to make a circle and go to Walmart.


-Christine had more fun dancing than the drunk people did

-I was fluent in French

-Christine got a hottie-bo-bottie boy to pay for her to go to Universal Studios

-More Moroccans hit on Jackie and Heather in the parking lot and Heather gave them the wrong number on accident.....on purpose

-We went to House of Blues and Jackie and Heather were the only blondes and one of 4 white people in the whole place

-We decorated our apartment with a hair flower and a green dish towel in a water glass

-the apartment uniform was no pants, a purple silky work shirt, and TAN

-Heather didn't give her number to a Yankee's fan driving next to her

-Everyone loved my driving

-I had really embarrassing fairy godmothers

-Aladdin was dating Prince Charming :(

-Everyone was a gourmet chef except Heather

-We watched the fireworks whenever the heck we wanted

-Liv was the luckiest girl because she got to watch the parade every day

-Jackie had a sexy costume and needed to leave something to the imagination

-We had the absolute best time ever!