Always a little awkward when....

....you go to the Jordan River temple and the guy doing confirmations asks why you aren't in school and you know (because you have the Spirit with you because you are in the temple after all) that he thinks you are a high schooler.

....and you also know that you can't just say, "I got a substitute," because then he'll just think you're a high schooler who saw that there was a substitute and decided to skip class.

....and you can't think of a subtle way to casually let him know that you are a teacher, so in the moment you throw all subtlety down the drain and just blurt out "I, uh, I'm a teacher, I left early, I have an interview."

....it is 10:00 in the morning and already 4 children in your class have cried.

....this note is in the nice notes box:

....and everyone denies having written it. (And also, it is eerily similar to the very first nice note you wrote to The Boy once upon a time last semester....)

....there are 8 girls at a table at B-Dubbs, surrounded by wings and big-screen TV's, and not one boy is there with them.

....and although it may look like a clever "go where the men are" kind of girls' night out, not one of those girls is there because she wants to get hit on, either.

....a box of crayons sets off an entire string of events that your team dubs "The Foot Saga."

....and said saga is still ongoing and you get the idea that it will continue until the end of the year.

....you go to Zumba and feel all excited about it and enjoy your time there, and then the next week when it's time to go again, someone has chest pains and someone else has no gas in their car and someone else has no motivation, so that's the end of that short-lived reign of fitness.

....boyfriends can't say anything without best friends knowing about it, and even if some quotes don't make it to the Man Board, they do make it into our normal conversations.

....some idiots come over to your apartment and interrupt The Bachelor because they are playing Bigger or Better and they are wondering if you have anything you would like to trade with them? And you can't even talk to them because, excuse me, it's The Bachelor.

....you see police lights as you come in your apartment and catch a glimpse of someone who you think you recognize and jump to the conclusion that your Relief Society president has been in a car accident, so you decide to bring her some cookies, but then as you walk over there, the police make you nervous, so you go to her apartment to make sure that it is in fact her....

....and some boys are walking away from her apartment carrying the front door??

....and you don't stop them.

....someone thinks that it is okay to lock a shopping cart to the stairs outside of your apartment and actually they are right, that is a little okay, but what is not okay is rattling it around at 2 in the morning when you are trying to go to sleep.

....you go in for a job interview and wonder if someone accidentally told the guy in charge of the interview that he was just there to interview himself, because truly you feel more like an audience member than a job applicant.

....you live in utah and all the cars like to remind you.

Christopher....bye.

While preparing a social studies lesson for tomorrow, I had a bit of a crisis. So of course, I went to the smartest man I know: my dad.

Via google chat, I said:

     me:  dad

   did christopher columbus not really find america?

   did he just go to haiti and cuba?

   did amerigo vespucci discover america?

He responded:

 Sid:  that's right ...

To which I said:

 me:  dang it

i've been so deceived

And then this little cyber-barb appeared on my screen:

 Sid:  i am in a meeting and what you are writing is being displayed for the whole world to see


You know I felt just fantastic about that. I think I turned pink as I pictured all the suits tilting their heads slightly to read what I had typed, and then glaring as the ignorance of it all settled into their minds. I pictured my dad getting all flustered and trying to ex out of our conversation before any more damage could be done. I pictured my latest message popping up insistently, clamoring for a spot on the screen.

It took me a good three minutes to come up with this response:

me: sorry

good thing you knew the answer or this would have been really embarrassing

God bless the public school system. Just, bless it.

One Week Down

Seven days ago, I was nervously trying to fill my planner. I was typing up ideas. I was bidding farewell to life as I knew it and making last-minute preparations to dive into a new life, one that involved 24 cute faces and thirsty minds.

Six days ago, I was making Sunday dinner with my roommate and rolling my hair in socks. I thought, "This is probably the last time I will have time to make Sunday dinner for at least 9 weeks." I thought, "This is almost definitely the last time I will have curly hair at school." Six days ago, I was lying awake for a good 2 hours, stressing and wondering and smiling and remembering.

I might have been a little afraid of this happening. 

Five days ago, I was eating muffins made by my wonderful roommate for my first day of school. I was leading those 24 cute faces into my classroom. I was giving a lesson on how to use liquid glue. I was eating lunch in the teacher's lounge. I was jogging around the gym with a whistle in my mouth, surrounded by a herd of children. I was going with my friends to The Chocolate to celebrate a successful first day.

Four days ago, I was sitting in New Teacher Induction. I was being handed papers about testing and retirement and insurance. I was staring blankly at a screen that spewed information at me at an alarming pace. My mind was flitting back and forth between two thoughts: "What does that even mean" and "I wonder how my class is doing?"

Three days ago, I was praising my students for how good they had been while I was gone. I was planning how I wanted to teach literacy for the next 6 weeks. I was getting my Mac-daddy. I was putting a huge band-aid on a bloody gash that seemed to not affect the kid sporting it in the slightest.

Two days ago, I was wearing a bright orange vest over my teacher clothes and patrolling the playground. I was making copies [read: killing trees] like nobody's business. I was taking my class to assembly after assembly. I was answering e-mails from parents. I was saying, "Today, I had three students cry. Is that normal?"And I was told that yes, it is, depending on the day.

Yesterday, I was giving a spelling test. I was discovering that two of my students have met Selena Gomez, one has met Justin Bieber, and one has met Taylor Swift. I was getting a little offended and clarifying that, no, I am not 30 years old, thanks for asking. I was reading a note written with purple gel pen that said: "Dear Miss Conner I hope you like This kus you luky to have me and I'm Luky to have you."

Teaching is like, the best thing. There are downsides - like never being able to go to the bathroom during the day, making half-salary (Class, what's one-half of nothing?), and the commute, but it's the only thing I want to be doing. I love feeling so tired after a long day of teaching, planning, and driving, and going to bed happy because tomorrow I get to wake up and do it all over again. I hope I never lose that feeling.

Ice cream Fans

I am taking a class this semester to learn about how I can use technology in my teaching. It happens every Wednesday evening, and only 6 students are in my section.

The first week, I was in California, so I missed class. Oops.

The second week, I was working until 4, and class starts at 4, so I didn't get there until almost 4:30. Ooooops. I felt really bad showing up that late, so I brought some ice cream with me. I didn't know the class was so small. I just felt bad. I thought maybe I could give the ice cream to my teacher and tell him sorry for missing the first week and a half-hour of the second week.

But when I walked in, the teacher was standing at the front of the room teaching and 5 girls turned to watch me come in. I sat down, suddenly feeling a little silly for having brought ice cream. Who does that?? Campaigners do that. Brown-nosers. Etc.

So my ice cream sat in my bag. And I sat in my seat, worrying. The ice cream was melting. I should share it! But I didn't have any spoons. How could we eat it? Maybe there were spoons downstairs. Should I offer it to my teacher? Should I explain? Should I offer it to my classmates? Should I just....let it melt?

Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. I raised my hand.

"Okay so.....I just want to say. That the reason I was late, is because I was at work. But I still feel really bad about being late, so I brought some ice cream, but I don't have any spoons, but it's sitting in my bag melting, and I'm kind of getting stressed about it, but I was wondering if I could go and like, find some spoons, and I could share it with everybody?"

My teacher blinked at me. He's a really nice man who was majoring in pre-med and then switched to technology, and he has a cute little wife and like 3 kids. He's one of those people whose face is naturally set in a smile.

"What am I supposed to say to that?" he asked, "No! Let the ice cream melt!" He laughed at himself. "I'm just kidding, um...."

"I have a spoon," said one of the girls. She sheepishly pulled one out of her backpack.

"Oh....me too," said another girl.

And just like that, everyone pulled a spoon out of their backpack. And we happily passed the ice cream around and partook. And now, every week, I bring any mess-ups to my class. And we eat and be merry. And my teacher once emailed us and said, "Hello ice cream fans!" to start out his email.

It's a pretty good summer term.

Menstruating Monsters Approaching

Last night, I was at work at Coldstone. I stood behind the register, cheerfully ringing people up. Customers scooted through the line, cheerfully ordering their ice cream.

"This looks so good!" one girl said to me as I rang her up.

"I love that kind!" I agreed.

"I'm going to be having cramps for a week because of it, but whatever," she added, holding out her credit card.

My hand froze mid-credit card grab. "Are you lactose-intolerant?" I asked, a little alarmed.

"No, just when I'm menstruating, I get really....." she trailed off. "Why am I telling you this?"

I laughed and took her card. "That's okay," I said, "I get it."

"You know what I mean?" she continued. "Just with your cycle, you sometimes really shouldn't eat ice cream that is drowning in caramel and other yummy stuff, but sometimes you just really want it."

The receipt printed. "I know what you mean!" I assured her, handing her the receipt. "Can you just sign there?"

She took the pen. "I still don't know why I told you all that...." she said, signing the receipt.

But in real life, I didn't even mind that much. She was actually one of my favorite customers of the night.....maybe even of ever.

Many Happy Days I Squandered

I've been saying a gradual goodbye to Florida and all that I love here over the past week or so. It's been sad, but at the same time, this week was one of the best weeks of my time here! About half of my bucket list got crossed off in this last week. So I'm feeling way more ready to leave now.

(BTW, the title of this post is a line from the Florida state song. And it's pretty much how I feel about my time here. My days were so happy and I squandered so many of them in a kind of blissful daze.)

Wanna know what I did for my last two weeks here?? Ok.....

Tuesday, 4/5. Met the Fairy Godmother at our 5-yr anniversary celebration at work. I had to wake up early, but it was worth it, because I got to take pictures with all my coworkers and I ate cake for breakfast.

This is the cake I ate for breakfast. (I didn't eat the whole thing, don't worry.)

This lady is my boss. Well, not anymore I guess. But she was.

After this lovely work party, I had to leave to go back home in the pouring rain. There was seriously a monsoon as we left. Here's what happened to me:

After the work party, I went back home for a few hours and hung out with my roommates. I ate Chick-fil-A for breakfast, which is delicious anytime but especially on a gloomy monsoon-y day, and then we made a "Remember When" list. I love making these at the end of every semester and Olivia left on the 7th, so we didn't have much time left together.

After this lovely bonding time, I worked for a few hours and then headed over to Hollywood Studios to watch Fantasmic. I can't believe I spent 3 months in Florida and only just barely made my way over to watch it. It was really cool and I think I looked like a little kid with how excited I got.

Once Fantasmic was over I traded in my flipflops for some heels and headed over to the House of Blues for Latin Night with my roommate Jackie and some other friends. Another item crossed off my bucket list :) It was fun and I realized that I forgot how much I love dancing. I think Jackie and I were the some of whitest girls in the place, and I'm pretty sure we were theonly blondes.

Wednesday, 4/6. Jackie, Dianne, and I went with Olivia and her friend Emily to Daytona Beach!! I love the beach and I love these girls, and Daytona is gorgeous.

Some things to remember if you are going to the beach:

1. Sand sticks to everything. You will be scraping it out of your phone and sunglasses for weeks after leaving the beach.

2. Swimsuits get bigger when they get wet. So you should always hold onto them when waves crash into you.

3. You can touch the tops of jellyfish, but don't touch their squiggly little legs. Don't even do it.

Sunday, 4/10. Have you ever celebrated your birthday by being rudely awaken at 6 in the morning to the sound of popping balloons and screams of "Happy Birthday!!!" ? If your answer is no, you need more friends like me, Dianne, Christine, Jackie, and Sean. Two of our friends, Cheyenne and Brad, turned a year older on this day. We pulled them out of bed at 6 in the morning and made crepes and sausages and cupcakes for their special day. Surprisingly, it was lots of fun!

Tuesday, 4/12. I worked a twelve-hour shift this day and was dead tired by the end of it, but I was able to muster up the strength to get dressed and drag myself to the Magic Kingdom for one last viewing of Wishes (the fireworks show) with my FGIT friends. We watched the fireworks and took pictures in front of the castle and got pineapple dole whip and watched the Electric Lights Parade and rode Space Mountain.

I'm going to miss this magical place :(

Wednesday, 4/13. The Saunders came to town! Amber Saunders was one of my leaders in Young Women's and Seth served with my dad in the bishopric. They are in Orlando right now with their youngest son Kellen for an acting and modeling competition so I got to meet up with them and take them to Disney World. On Wednesday morning I picked them up from their hotel and we went to Animal Kingdom. Right after saying hello, Kellen handed me an autographed photo collage. He is darling :) At DAK, we went on a safari and did some catching up, and then I had to go to work.

It was my last day of work, and I didn't have time to go from DAK to my apartment, so I had to go straight to Downtown Disney, which meant that I didn't have my name tag and I had to be Melanie from Reedings, England for my last day.

Everything was bittersweet. All day, my FGIT friends were coming up to me one at a time to wish me luck and express their sadness that I was leaving so soon after arriving. I am going to miss them all so much! Everyone I work with has been so kind to me. I'm a little surprised by how attached I've gotten after only a few months, but when I think about how included everyone has made me feel here, I'm not so surprised after all.

I went on my last parade and thought back to my first parade. It seems like it was only last week that I went on the carousel for the first time and thought, as we went round and round, how fun my job was. My time in Florida stretched out before me with no end in sight. When the carousel stopped this time, my FGIT friends called me over and we took a few pictures together with our flags and banners. Looking into the camera lens, I actually got tears in my eyes, because I'm going to miss this so much.

Rhonda, my favorite coordinator, left at 4. Rhonda was born and raised in Florida but has kind of a Southern accent. She is so funny and sassy and always lets me go on the parade when she's coordinating. She gave me her home, cell, and work number and told me that if I wanted to use her as a reference she would have nothing but good things to say.

I was doing a princess makeover and she came over and said, "Princess, can I say goodbye to your fairy godmother really quick?" My princess said yes and Rhonda came behind the chair and gave me a hug. That was the second time I started crying, but I held it in really well, since I was onstage. Rhonda wished me good luck in everything and then told my princess, "Thank you for letting me say goodbye. Your fairy godmother is going to the castle for a very long time, so I'm not sure when I'll get to see her again. So it's exciting, because she's going to get to live in the castle, but I'll miss her too." Ugh. The castle sounded soooo unappealing right then!

Nadira, my trainer, and Marjorie left at 5. I was helping Valerie with makeup and Nadira came over and asked to speak with me backstage. They both gave me big hugs and said they were sad to see me go. I loved these ladies so much so I started crying then too. Haha I was seriously like a fountain all day, it was ridiculous.

I didn't leave until 8:30, and at 8:00, a FGIT named Patty came over with all the other FGIT's that were still at work and said that they had something for me. She handed me a laminated sheet of paper that everyone had signed and a PhotoPass card with pictures on it that the photographers had taken of me throughout the day. Make that the fourth time that I cried....

Patty was so nice and said, "We don't usually do this for CP's, but you were such a pleasure to work with. You brought so much to this boutique and we all loved working with you. We just want to wish you luck with everything you do, and we hope you come back to visit us soon!"

Above: me with Nadira

Below: me with Marjorie

Thursday, 4/14. I finally started packing on this day. It really should have happened sooner, but what-er. After a few hours of packing, I went to Typhoon Lagoon with Sean. Sean is one of the first people I met here...in fact, we met on the bus ride from the airport! So it was nice to come full-circle.

We strapped on snorkels and swam with sharks for our first activity. I was retarded at first with the snorkel and it kept filling with water, so this Australian lifeguard swam over to me and was like, "Are you all right, love?" And I was like *cough cough hack deep breath* "sorry, my snorkel just keeps filling with salt water!" And he was like, "It's all right. Here, hold onto my arm." And I was like mmmm. Ok :) And he was like, "You just make a nice seal around that with your lips." And I was like, "what about my lips?" Just kidding, I didn't say that. I just thought it....and then I stopped hanging onto him and swam away and then Sean and I went through again.

This time I wasn't so preoccupied with trying to breathe, so I was actually able to see the sharks. There were some hammerheads and some tiger sharks, and then a bunch of other cool tropical fish. I felt so cool and didn't even get eaten.

After that adventure, we went on a few slides and played in the wave pool, and then it was time to go. I picked up the Saunders and we went to the Magic Kingdom! I've decided that Disney World is a lot more fun when you go with little kids. Kellen was so excited about everything and it was great hanging out with them.

Right after eating dinner, I met up with some of my friends who were also in Magic Kingdom. The Saunders were ready to go home, so I stayed with my friends to watch the fireworks and get one last pineapple dole whip and then we headed home, too. We got home at about midnight and then there were some more goodbyes as Jackie, Christine and I stayed up until 5 in the morning packing and talking and eating pizza (thanks, Anne!)

Friday, 4/15. Three hours after going to sleep, I woke up to take Jackie and Christine to the airport. I know I'll see them in about a month, but it was still sad saying goodbye! I love these girls!

I got back to Chatham at about 10 and learned that I had to be out by 11. Thus began an hour of panic as I ran around, gathering everything, trying to decide what to keep and what to leave behind. My only regret is that I didn't get to say goodbye to the pool :( I definitely squandered many happy days there!

Once I was all packed, I turned in my key and housing ID and left Chatham forever. I turned in my costume for the last time and then I went to hang out with the Saunders for a little bit while Kellen got ready for his competition. It was so exciting! I can't wait to hear how he did.

Later in the afternoon I brought all my stuff over to my friends' apartment. I'm staying with Sarah, Angelica, Amanda, and Abbie for the rest of my time here in Florida. They are being so nice to let me stay with them! It's kinda fun because every time I drive through, I have to hang out outside the gate until someone else wants to come in who has a gate key, and then I just follow them in real quick. Or I have to call the front office and say, "hi, I'm Sarah Stallings, I just left my gate key at home!" And then they open the gate for me. So it's always an adventure. Last night, Geli taught us how to make these cool bracelets so I made two. We are going to go to the beach in a few days and I'm going to surf again and I'm so excited.

Last night, I met up with some of my FGIT friends at the Rainforest Cafe for Kayla's birthday dinner. It was delicious and we had a really funny and nice waiter. Except he accidentally told my friend Shayna that she was sexy and then her boyfriend met up with us later and he was a meathead and got super mad about it and wanted to fight our waiter so that was awkward since our waiter was just being nice and in fact has a girlfriend who also works at the Rainforest Cafe and was standing right there when Shayna's boyfriend confronted him about it.....

Saturday, 4/16. Tonight I am going out for one final hurrah with my FGIT friends. Haruna is having her birthday party and we are going to give ourselves princess makeovers and then go out dancing. I'm going to be a Disney Diva with blonde hair. It's gonna be awesome.

WHEW. I'm sorry about how long this blog post is. I just had so much to talk about! I'll probably come back later and post some more pictures, but until then, I think this is more than enough material. If you don't read the whole thing, I won't even be offended.

I was Enchanted to Meet You

Sometimes, you do a makeover for a really cute little girl and she tells you you are pretty and she screams in excitement when you finish her makeover, and that makes your day.

And sometimes, you get to take home two bottles of nail polish from the boutique, and that also makes your day.

And sometimes, you find someone to take one of your shifts when your family comes to town, and that really makes your day!

And sommmmetimes, your coordinator delivers a message to you from a certain Prince Charming that you thought for sure you would never ever hear from, thanks to some pesky but well-meaning fairy godmothers, and it is a positive message, and not anything like, "Why are you a psycho?" and your coordinator says that he is smitten with you, and that confuses you a little, but really just makes your day the very most of all :)

Why My Life is Awesome #461-476

Hullo and Happy Valentines Day! Slash, Singles Awareness Day. Slash, Forced Affection Day. Slash, Heather-goes-to-work-and-is-immediately-handed-a-homemade-truffle,-a-cherry-lollipop,-and-a-bag-of-conversation-hearts-before-being-assigned-to-give-the-most-adorable-girl-ever-a-makeover.....Day!

And then, after having a string of awesome and sweet little girls, I went to my castle (aka my break) and do you want to know what was in the breakroom? It was a slushie machine! In honor of Valentines Day!

And thennn, do you want to know what happened after that? I went outside to Pixie Dust, and there was a dance party going on by the waterfront. And I got to dance along to music other than the 1o songs I listen to nonstop all day when I am in the Boutique.

And after that, I clocked out, changed into real people clothes, and got picked up in a car (not the bus) and taken to this country dancing activity. Where I danced with some cuties and we did some steps called things like the cuddle. And someone gave me cake and a cookie. Also, a loaf of bread and a bag of toffee.

And THEN! As if my day wasn't already awesome enough, I got home from that activity and me and my roommates went over to these boys apartment, and they had made us a Valentines Day dinner of really delicious spaghetti and homemade sauce and French bread. And by the time that was over, I was pretty much stuffed and the happiest girl ever.

I am so unbelievably happy when people are feeding me, I can't even express it.

In other news....I still haven't heard back about Cinderella, but I heard that another girl already heard that she got Aurora, so I don't think I got it or else I would have known by now. Which okay I think I accidentally lied when I said I didn't care what happened, because in real life, I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really reallyy REALLY would love to be Cinderella :/

Tomorrow I am going to Universal Studios! I cannot waitt. I'm going with my roommates Jackie and Christine and we are going to meet up with some other friends while there.

Then on Thursday, my family is coming to visit me! I am so so excited to see them. They are bringing our Sabie car, who I also have missed terribly. I just can't wait to show them where I work and share the beautiful weather with them, and give them hugs and talk to them in 3D....it is going to be so wonderful :) Now I just have to get off of work!

PS: If you want a more Valentines-appropriate blog post, you can go here :) or here. Or just look at this picture.

"And for you I wish for.....you, I wish for....you find your love, and for you......I wish happiness...."

A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes

Yesterday morning, Disney held princess lookalike auditions for the female cast members. I was sure I wouldn't be chosen, but had decided to go, just for the experience. So, I woke up at 6:45. I put on a white skirt with black and red flowers, leggings, a black headband, and a black turtleneck tee. I ate some breakfast and went to the bus stop, where about 40 other girls were waiting for the J bus as well. The J bus came and we piled on.

There were blondes, brunettes and redheads, girls in yoga pants and girls in dresses. Any other morning, we would have put in our headphones and closed our eyes to catch a quick nap, or pulled out a book for the bus ride. This morning, however, we all paid a little extra attention to each other. We looked in one another's faces, smiled awkwardly, and turned to look at someone else. We struck up nervous little conversations with each other. We introduced ourselves and promptly forgot one another's names. It was 7:35 when the bus left Chatham, but the air felt alive with energy. Hope was coursing through all of us, and it was electrifying.

The bus emptied when we got to the Animal Kingdom casting center. Forty something girls fell into the line that was already out the door, an hour before the auditions were supposed to start. We didn't mind the waiting. We shared everything with each other as we slowly made our way through the halls of the casting center.

Adrenaline is like super-glue for friendships, and we quickly felt comfortable with the girls standing with us. We lavished praise on one another, certain that we would all make it through to the final round, when we would be told that all of us were going to be princesses. We were giddy with optimism.

At last we made it to a large ballroom, where a table was set up at one end of the room with a next to it. When we got to the table, we were measured and received a number (268 in my case). We were then told to wait until our number was called.

They took us in groups of 50, and this was when girls started to get cut. This part of the audition was nerve wracking, but didn't require us to do anything but smile. I don't think I have ever smiled so hard in my whole life!

There were two casting directors, Kelly and Kent, who explained the process a little bit and then turned on some music so we could feel more comfortable with being stared at. I smiled right at them. Kelly said something to Kent. They both looked at me again. I smiled and smiled. My cheeks felt quivery with nerves and the effort to appear natural. They finally moved on down the line and I relaxed a little.

After they had looked over all 50 of us, Kelly called out 2 numbers and asked the rest of the girls to go home. The two numbers called were 268 and 291. I felt disappointed until I remembered that that was my number! The girls I had made friends with in line all gave me hugs and wished me luck. I missed them immediately as I watched them leave.

291 was named Renee, and she grabbed my arm as we walked back to the giant ballroom. "This is so crazy!" she squealed. "I can't wait to tell my mom!" More bonding as she called her mom and I txtd mine. We couldn't believe we had made it through the first round. Making it through that first step was intoxicating.

463 girls later, there were 50 girls left in the ballroom. They called us all back into the room where Kelly and Kent stared us down once again. I didn't have as much trouble smiling this time :) This time when Kelly turned off the music, she and Kent only called out 6 numbers. The rest of the girls were thanked for their time and sent home.

I felt shaky as I lined up with the last of all the potential princesses and watched Renee leave. Even as I introduced myself and stated where I was from, I couldn't believe that the casting directors cared about my name at all. I kept thinking, "Is this real life?" And it was.

The next part of the audition was one of my favorite parts. Kelly and Kent left, and some trainers came in to help us learn how to dance like princesses. We twirled, curtsied, and waved. We were told that it was an exercise in grace and poise, and that we should be very conscious of making all of our movements very fluid and regal. We were to smile the entire time.

We also learned how to move like a fur character. We exaggerated every movement. We looked ridiculous, and we didn't even care. No one looked at anyone else. We were very much concentrated on our own movements.

Kelly and Kent came back in at this point and we showed them everything we had learned. Apparently they had no complaints, because they decided to keep all of us and let us all get fitted to be princesses!

I listened as they went down the line, assigning each girl to a princess. "Tiana, Aurora, Snow White, Ariel, Aurora....and Cinderella."

I couldn't believe it. Cinderella? I was flabbergasted and thrilled, and immensely flattered. I felt a little numb as I followed the other girls into yet another hallway. We suddenly found ourselves just outside of the closet with all the princess costumes. I felt star-struck and woozy as I got my picture taken and was then directed behind a curtain, where I was to change into Cinderella's dress.

Ahhhh.

I pulled up the skirt, which weighed about a million pounds, and a costuming assistant helped me zipper it. She then helped me into the top half of the dress and snapped it onto the skirt, twisting and tugging until it looked just right. They gave me some character shoes and sent me into the makeup room.

Working at the Boutique, I always try to talk to the girls whose makeover I am doing. I feel like I'm doing a bad job if we aren't having a nice, steady conversation. But today, as a nice Asian lady covered my eyelids with blue eyeshadow and spread a layer of pink on my lips, I began to appreciate how hard it is to have a conversation while you are having your hair and makeup done. It was all I could do to keep up with the whirlwind of thoughts going on inside my head. I was relieved that I wasn't supposed to form complete sentences, too.

All of the characters are wigged, so we also got to wear the wigs. Once I was all made up and the wig had been securely fastened to my head, I was able to look in the mirror. It was the most surreal experience, because I could see my face, and I knew that it was me, but Cinderella looked back at me. I vaguely wondered if the girls who came into the Boutique felt this way when I turned them around to see themselves for the first time. I hardly felt like I was looking at myself....I felt like I was looking at a princess who just happened to raise her eyebrows when I raised mine.

The wig was a little big, and so was the top of the dress, since I basically have no boobs, but my friend Brittany told me that if I get approval to be a princess, they will give me a wig that is custom-made for my head. Also, the dresses in the casting center are not the only sizes they have, and the sizes go pretty small, so they have a dress that fits me somewhere. Aside from these concerns, I really felt like Cinderella.

Once I was all dressed, I was given a laminated sheet of paper that told a little bit about Cinderella's character, how she was supposed to stand, etc. At the top of the paper was a short monologue, but I was told not to worry about memorizing it. I stood in front of a blue sheet and got about 5 pictures taken from different angles. I wondered whether they looked like me, or like Cinderella, or like me dressed up as Cinderella. I wondered if it mattered if it looked like me dressed up as Cinderella.

After that, I had a few minutes to practice my monologue before I was shown back into the room where we had learned how to princess dance only about an hour earlier. I again said hello to Kelly and Kent, who asked me to look at the camera, state my true name, and then perform the monologue.

I cleared my throat, stood like Cinderella, and smiled right at the camera. Kent pointed at me; I said my name, paused, and then went into my monologue.

"Oh, what a wonderful ball," I said. In my head, I thought: "Oh, what a wonderful audition."

"To wear this beautiful gown, and glass slippers, and dance with the prince all night...." I said. In my head, I thought: "To wear this beautiful gown, and character shoes, and dress up like a real live princess....."

"I wonder what Anastasia and Drusilla would think, if they knew it was me?" I said. In my head, I thought, "I have to tell EVERYONE!"

Smilingly, Kelly and Kent thanked me and asked me where I went to school. They asked about my major and a couple of other things. Then they told me that they would contact me if I was approved to be a princess. If I didn't hear from them, it wasn't a match, but they were still happy that I had come in and auditioned. As I listened to their spiel, I didn't even care what happened next.

If I get to be a princess, I will stay until August. I will dress up every day, with the help of my fairy godmother costuming assistant. I will dance with a prince. I will tell little girls that their dreams will come true. I will pose for pictures and smile until my face falls off. And then, a makeup artist will come along and put it back on for me, and I will go out and do it all over again.

If I don't get approved to be a princess, I will stay until April, just like I had planned before. I will continue to work at the Boutique, which is a magical place on its own. I will get to go home for a month to see my family before going back to Utah in June for some summer classes. I will miss the muggy Florida heat and will spend my summer, instead, in the dry heat of Provo in the summertime. I will work at Coldstone and the Writing Center, and when I'm not working or taking summer classes on campus, I will set up camp by the Raintree pool, eating free hamburgers and otter pops.

Have I mentioned that I absolutely 100% love my life? With all my heart and soul?

After auditions, one of the girls who was fitted for Aurora offered me a ride home. We decided that if we don't get to be princesses, we will go out for ice cream to console ourselves. But I don't think I will need too much consolation....just getting to try on Cinderella's dress, and gloves, and choker, and headband, was more wonderful an opportunity than I ever dreamed I would get.

But I did get it, and if Djuana Barnes is right, and "dreams have only the pigmentation of fact," then the large majority of this story would not be true. Friends, it is all true, which is why I now have a renewed faith that dreams and reality are not always so far apart as past disappointments would have us believe. In fact, there will be times in our lives that the chasm between dreams and reality is little more than a paper-thin line. And those times are the very best.

:)

Oh my gosh

I talked to him. The boy from the parade who's really tall and has dimples.

It was possibly the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me, but I now know that the fairy godmothers who work in the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique with me are real live honest-to-goodness legit fairy godmothers. (Fada madrinha, in Portuguese. Which I'm trying to learn, for the benefit of 80% of the princesses who come in for makeovers.)

Pumbas, Parades, and my Prince Charming(s)

I am no longer "earning my ears," as they say, at the Bibbidy Bobbidy Boutique. As of Thursday, I have completed my training and am now a real live member of the cast at the Boutique. And I love it.

At the Boutique, we have some words that we use to keep up our Disney demeanor and perpetuate the delusions that everyone comes to Disney World armed with. Here are a few:

castle: break, as in lunch break. "I have to go to the castle now."

dungeon: bathroom. "I need to go to the dungeon, I'll be right back."

fairy godmother in training: me! also known as FGITs (pronounced "fidgets").

guest: customer. But everyone uses this term, all over Disney.

magical: annoying or difficult, as in a customer. "We had some magical parents this morning who were just not happy with anything. Even the grandmother was magical!"

pumbas: lice. Before putting up the girls' hair, we are supposed to casually comb through, checking for "pumbas." If we find them, we are supposed to leave their hair alone, do their makeup and nails, and ask a coworker to go get the "Lion King," or one of the managers. They will come, make sure it's lice, and then talk to the parents and get it all worked out. We don't have to do their hair after finding pumbas. Thank gooooodness.

That's all for the vocabulary lesson today.

Now for the perks of my job!

1. Great coworkers! I don't know all of them but they seem really nice, for the most part. Especially my trainer, Nadira. She has been so good to me this whole week and helped me through everything.

2. The hours. Are really not that bad, especially compared to other jobs. I will never get off later than 10, and most of the time, I won't even have to work past 7 or 8. And never earlier than 8:30.

3. Treasure! If the guests want to, they can put a tip in the wishing well. From there it gets all divided up and we collect our treasure every Thursday. Most of the other jobs here don't get that so I am super excited.

4. The hot chocolate machine. In the break room, there is a hot chocolate slash coffee machine that is freeeeeee! I had 4 hot chocolates during my breaks on my first two days of training. It was heavenly. But, I'm not really sure if this belongs on my list of perks, because on my third day of training, one of the FGIT's told me that they found a cockroach in the machine a few months ago. I haven't been able to swallow any more hot chocolate since hearing this horrible news.

5. The cute costumes. I hated them at first, but now I actually think they are really cute! I'll put up a picture soon.

6. The princess parade! Every day at 2, we gather up all the little princesses around Downtown Disney, where the Boutique is, and walk with them up to the carousel. We wave like princesses and blow kisses at all the shopkeepers, who come out to wave and blow bubbles at us. It is my favorite part of every work day. Especially because of perk #7.

7. Prince Charming. I do not know his real name, but he works at Downtown Disney and waves at us with a Mickey glove on his right hand, so I know he is single. He wears real people clothes, not a costume, so I know he is a manager, which means he is intelligent and a good worker and a leader. I see him talking and joking with the custodians, so I also know he is approachable, not stuck-up, and easy-going. He is tall and has dimples and one day, I will talk to him. Or he will talk to me. All I'm saying is, I am in love with him.

The title of this post says "Prince Charming(s)" because I am not really trying to limit myself to the mysterious man I see when I walk in the parade. One of my friends is a character attendant and has kindly offered to arrange a backstage makeout with Aladdin for me. I really am in no position to refuse.

Unless he is gay, which, sadly, is quite possible. Then I think it will be best if I just leave him to Jasmine.

Moroccans, Katzenjammers, and Gator Pee

I met some Moroccans last night. They gave me and my friends a tour of Epcot. And bought us baklava. I couldn't understand half of what they were saying, and two of them were pretty drunk so they kept doing dumb things like performing "magic tricks" where they made a cup disappear....haha but it was funny. We are sure they were suffering from katzenjammers today.

We spent most of our time in the "Morocco" part of Epcot, where we put on belly-dancing skirts over our clothes and danced around the store. A crowd gathered and started cheering for us, and I'm pretty sure they thought we were drunk too. (We were not.)

Today I didn't have work, so I just went to Walgreen's and bought some bottled water, tights, and postcards. I am not really a bottled water kinda girl but Florida is rapidly turning me into one. The water here tastes like gator pee and every time I take a shower, I feel like I'm jumping into a swamp. So bottled water is now a necessity.

In other news, I have to work tomorrow :( It is my first time I've ever had to work on a Sunday and I really feel so sad about it. I will be working 8:30-5, but I'll still get to go to church. I guess lots of Disney College Program kids have this problem, so they set up a special meeting time for those that have to work on Sunday during the regular meeting time. Here's how I will get to church tomorrow.

7:08 pm. Get on the A bus from Chatham (where I live) heading towards the Magic Kingdom.

7:47 pm. Get off the bus at the Magic Kingdom. Walk toward a white pavilion that is facing Reams Road.

7:50 pm. Someone will come by and pick me up for church.

8:00 pm. We will have a little mini-meeting where we take the sacrament and hear from a speaker. I feel spiritchally uplifted.

In other news, Jimmy Johns doesn't deliver to us. We are sad.

Tuesday NIGHT

I work every Tuesday night at Coldstone. And every Tuesday night, we have a certain customer come in who we like to call, "Tuesday Night."

The first time he came in, I thought he had lost a few of his marbles. He walked in as if he owned the place, struck a pose, glanced around, looked satisfied, sucked in his breath and then shouted, "Iiiiiiiiit's TUESDAY NIGHT! Tuesday night at COLDstone! YEAH!"

This is Tuesday Night (left) with one of his friends who came in with him this week.

I looked at Rhiannon, a little alarmed. Who was this person? Why was he acting in this manner? Rhiannon looked up from what she was doing, too, but seemed more annoyed than really concerned. I decided to ignore Tuesday Night and went back to scooping ice cream.

It wasn't long before Tuesday Night got to the front of the line. He leaned comfortably on the glass and smiled at us. "Are you guys PUMPED?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear. "It's Tuesday NIGHT!" The blonde girl he was with looked a little embarrassed and hit him playfully on the arm. "I don't know why he's doing this," she said, by way of apology.

At this point I started to think it was funny. I couldn't tell if Tuesday Night was having a horrible date with the blonde and was trying to get revenge by embarrassing her in public, or if he was completely enamored and was trying way too hard to impress her. Either way, it was entertaining to watch as he looked at her in mock offense. "Look at you," he said; then, turning to us, "Look at this girl, can you believe her? First she....she asks me on a date. Right? And then - then! She acts like I'm embarrassing her." He shook his head at us. "She doesn't understand that it is TUESDAY NIGHT at COLDstone!" he finished dramatically.

And so it continued. By the time we made it to the cash register, I wanted this couple to stay together forever and everyone in the store was openly staring at Tuesday Night. Some shook their heads, but most of them just laughed. If the blonde was embarrassed, she didn't show it. She calmly leaned against the wall, eating her ice cream, while Tuesday Night ran around the store, high fiving the other customers, learning the names of the crew members, bursting into song, and otherwise causing a ruckus that oozed enthusiasm for our store.

In my head, I made up an entire story, about how Tuesday Night and the blonde were on their first date together, and how they were going to kiss tonight. I was thrilled for them. I had practically planned their wedding announcements out. This whole dream was solidified when I told them the total and Tuesday Night looked at the blonde expectantly.

"Are you gonna get that, princess?" he asked, smirking.

She blinked up at him from her ice cream and slowly shook her head, laughing.

"Whatttt, what do you mean no? Look at this. This girl....Okay." said Tuesday Night, "If a girl asks a boy on a date, doesn't that mean she's going to pay for him?"

"I did not ask you on a date," the blonde said, laughing. "I maybe enticed you to ask me on a date but that is not the same thing! Youuu asked me."

Tuesday Night looked at her, beaming. ("Ohmygosh, he totally wants to kiss her," I thought. "He's going to. Tonight. Ahhhh.")

The blonde looked coolly at her ice cream and said, "Pay for me, yo."

Tuesday Night was ecstatic at her sassiness. He pulled out his money and paid. Then he gave me a high five that made me lose feeling in my hand and left, spewing cheers for Coldstone as he went.

Fast forward to Thursday night and repeat this exact scene. Only change one thing: the girl. I was shocked when I looked up on Thursday and saw Tuesday Night walking in with a short brunette. What happened to the blonde? I thought frantically. The first explanation that my brain was able to formulate was that maybe this was a different boy, but no. From the way that he was yelling about Coldstone, it was undeniably Tuesday Night, with a different girl.

I was a little sad, since the brunette did not play off of him as well as the blonde had. She liked him more than he liked her, so I was annoyed that he was here with her and not with the blonde. Nevertheless, it was still an enjoyable visit, and I began to wonder if Tuesday Night was going to come in every time I worked.

From then on, Tuesday Night has come in every Tuesday night but one, living up to his name. It is always very exciting. It got even more exciting one night when Sarah, one of my managers, was covering for Suiha, who usually works on Tuesday nights. I came into work and was greeted by this: "Heather, I met a boy!" I was very excited and listened as Sarah told me all about a new boy she had just met the night before. He was funny, nice, cute, etc. Sarah really felt interested in him, which hadn't happened in a long time! And he was going to come in to visit her, so I would get to meet him and approve.

Somehow our conversation turned around to Tuesday Night, and I told Sarah how glad I was that she was there. This time, she would get to meet Tuesday Night! So now we had two customers to look forward to seeing.

At some point in the night, I was in the back room doing dishes when I heard it:

"Oh, YEAH! Tuesday NIGHT! Whooo!!!"

I dropped whatever dishes I was holding and ran out to tell Sarah that Tuesday Night was here. She was at the stone and turned around when I approached her. "Heather," she said, "It's him." At the same time, I said, "Sarah, that's him!" Then, "What? How did you know?" Sarah looked confused at first, then horrified. She turned around and watched as Tuesday Night asked a customer what they were eating and then repeated their order in an excited yell for the whole store to hear.

"Oh my gosh," Sarah murmured.

Small world, I guess. You never know what is going to happen. At least some things stay consistent, though....Tuesday Night coming in every Tuesday night, for instance.

I wonder what will happen next week?

Here's What I Hate:

Campaigners.

I don't mean baby-kissing politicians who are campaigning for office. I don't mean peppy tweens armed with posters and cutesie catchphrases running for the elite position of student body president. I'm talking about campaigners in the workplace. Have you ever heard of them? Maybe not, but I would be willing to bet you know one or two. Depending on how much your life sucks, you might actually know three, or four, or ten. Whether you work in an office, a retail store in the mall, or an ice-cream parlor, you will, at one point or another, be forced to work alongside a campaigner.

"Campaigners" have also been called any number of the following names:

-suck-up

-kiss-butt

-teacher's pet

-goody two-shoes

-annoying pieces of crap.

On TV, we love them. They provide endless entertainment for us as they trip over themselves, trying to impress their boss, teacher, or the head cheerleader. Here are some of my favorite TV campaigners:

Dwight, from "The Office." As the assistant to the president, he is always trying to think of ways to climb the corporate ladder, improve his sales record, or get back at Jim Halpert. Click here for a video clip of Dwight preparing to ask for a raise.

Marc, from "Ugly Betty." Marc is one of my all-time favorite characters from any TV show ever. He is very eccentric and snaps out the snarkiest lines every time he opens his flamboyantly gay mouth. His sass and wit are only barely stifled by Wilhelmina, the stop-at-nothing schemer he works for. Click here for a video of Marc, (kind of) kowtowing to Wilhemina even while she is in the hospital.

But these people are fictional, and I don't have to work with them. That is the only reason that I think they are actually funny. I guess all I'm trying to say is, a new campaigner came into my life a few days ago. I'm pretty sure I was happier a few days ago, before that happened.

Here are some telltale signs that you are working with a campaigner:

1. They try to boss you.

Feelings you will probably experience immediately:

a. confusion. "WHAT? Who are you?"

b. indignation. "Why are you trying to boss me - me? I know what I'm doing!"

c. defensiveness. "I've worked here longer than you have! You have no right to boss me!"

d. anger. "If he tries to boss me again, I'm going to konk him on the head with a spade."

Possible Solutions:

a. Ignore their bossing. Remember when you were little, and someone at school, or in your family would try and tell you what to do? What did you say in those situations? I don't know about you, but I can remember a few times that I defiantly replied, "You're not the boss of me!" Remember this. The campaigner is not the boss of you either. You don't have to say it out loud, but there is no need to quietly take their bossing, either. You don't have to leave a riveting conversation with your fabulous sister and her awesome boyfriend just because there are five people in line and the campaigner yells "Heather! We need help." In a very serious and bossy tone. They're not the boss of you!

b. Boss them back. Establishing dominance is important. It is hardly effective when everyone acts like the boss in a work setting, but a little bit of this can help put the campaigner back in his place.

c. Konk them on the head with a spade.

2. They act defensive or snotty when you offer direction or ask them the same question twice.

Feelings you will probably experience immediately:

a. confusion. "What did I do to you? Is it such a big deal for you to just repeat yourself once?"

b. defensiveness. "I am being nice! I didn't say that meanly. You can be nice too!"

c. anger. "If he snaps at me again, I'm going to konk him on the head with a spade."

Possible Solutions:

a. Ask them to repeat themselves every time they say anything. Eventually they will get too frustrated to ever talk to you or they will begin to think that they are, in fact, the problem.

b. Never give them direction. Let them end up looking stupid for someone else who wants to set them straight. It's not your job and you really don't have to deal with it.

c. Konk them on the head with a spade.

3. They give pep talks to you and the rest of the crew.

Feelings you will probably experience immediately:

a. annoyance. "Wow, you're annoying. Just do your job."

b. claustrophobia. "Get me out! I don't want to be in this building with this weirdo!"

c. repulsion. "Don't touch me. I don't want to high-five you. Get that hand out of my face."

d. anger. "If he tries to encourage me again, I'm going to konk him on the head with a spade."

Possible Solutions:

a. Walk away every time they start to open their mouth, because they are probably about to give a pep talk.

b. Do a weird high five, like "kissing starfish" or "slug" or "race car." They will be alarmed and probably won't try to high-five you again.

c. Sing louder when they start to make an annoying encouraging comment. Just sing sing sing. If they tell you (bossily) to stop singing, act offended and ask if they think your singing is ugly.

Other characteristics of campaigners that don't necessarily affect you, but will help confirm your diagnosis of a campaigner:

1. They don't want to get anything wrong.

2. They think very highly of themselves.

3. Their mother brings them their dinner every night.

4. They think it's okay to pat your on your sunburned back.

5. They don't have heart-to-heart bonding time with you like all the other people you work with do.

6. They freak out about little glitches that happen on the register.

7. They also feel comfortable bossing the manager.

8. They make the same joke every time you work together about how their mom told them they should wear their Mickey Mouse ears to work, but they forgot to. HILARIOUS! .......Oh wait. You didn't think that was funny? Neither does an-y-one else,

9. They are most likely going to get pranked by Coldstoners in the very very near future and should probably live in fear.

Today, after work, I went over to Crystal's apartment to complain to her about the new campaigner I have recently become acquainted with. She said it was the first time she had ever heard me said the word "piss." Super-sorry. I usually try to be more ladylike, but that's how I felt!