Wife of the Year

You might be the wife of the year if:

1. You don't throw a fit when your birthday doesn't go as imagined. You just move your birthday to a different day, make yourself a sign, and call it good. 

2. You watch a scary movie with your husband. And then, while he sleeps soundly, totally unaffected by the horror you just submitted your minds to, and you lay there terrified and unable to sleep, you remember how much he loves his sleep and you do not wake him up. 

Do NOT watch this movie!

3. Marriage is caring is sharing. If you share the closet as well as I do, you might be the wife of the year. 

This is Stephen's side of our closet. I know, I know. It was really generous of me to give him all that space.

4. You decorate your house and it looks adorable!

......while it lasts. 

Three hours after hanging these up....

5. You definitely don't ever ask him to dress up with you for an event that no one else is dressing up for. And you don't hand him a pair of your own tights to put on in an attempt to find an appropriate costume. (And if you did, you wouldn't spend 5 minutes laughing at how hilarious he looks wearing your tights.)

(.....and even if you hypothetically did do all of that stuff, you wouldn't then ask him to put the tights back on a day later so that you could take a picture of him and put it on your blog for the enjoyment of everybody else.)

If you do / have done any of these things, you can give yourself a hearty pat on the back. You are well on your way to being wife of the year! 

First World Problems

So I have a lot to blog about, but HERE'S THE THING. I haven't because right now, I am trying to:

1. move schools (we're moving tomorrow for the last 3 weeks so my school can get central air conditioning)

2. get engagement pictures taken (check!)

3. get a job for next year (which involves scheduling interviews, writing emails to principals, calling on other contacts for help in getting a job, finding substitutes so I can go to interviews during the school day, etc.)

4. unpack all my stuff at my summer apartment (not trying too hard to do that one, I'll be honest)

5. pack all my stuff at school

6. plan a wedding (oh, mine)

7. figure out where I'm living next year (actually this is Stephen's job but sometimes when I'm stressed about a few things then I start looking for other things to stress about too)

8. get a dress to get married in (finally done with that one)

9. plan my summer

10. plan my fall

11. save money (and the only way I can think of to do that is to just not eat....)

Blablabla boring. All I'm saying is, I'm excited for the day when I can do the following with some degree of consistency without it turning into a freaking panty-tangling process and event:

- sleep

- make and eat dinner (yesterday's dinner was a string cheese and today's was half an apple because it just takes SO MUCH EFFORT to make food and my milk just expired so cereal is no longer an option)

- brush my teeth

- go running (I know. Who am I?? I don’t even know, but I actually really like going running now and I think about it and want to do it and I try to plan it in, and then I get home and the sun sets and the world gets dark and I get scared of getting raped, so I end up just turning on the music video for “Good Feeling” by Flo Rida and running in place in my room while that plays, and friends, that is not even the same thing as running outside, let me tell ya.)

- lay out (if the sun could set at 9:30, I'd be happy. I mean, really happy. I could get home from school at 7 and lay out until the sun set. But no, it sets at 7:10.

- see my friends. I miss them really bad. And I'm turning into a bad friend, like, I know I am. It's depressing that the only time I can ever see them is Monday nights for the Bachelorette. Speaking of which...

- watch the Bachelorette. I usually am so painstakingly devoted to this show, and I take notes and I know the men by name, and I look forward to it every week. And I just can't invest in it this season. It's way too much effort. And it's such a dumb thing and such a first-world problem, but it's my blog and I'll first-world-problem it up if I want to.

So Busy up in Here

I don't know why I apparently have more time to blog when I am on-track than when I am off, but apparently I do. And now I have 5 minutes before I have to leave to go to Idawhat, but here's a blog on what I have been doing instead of blogging:

1. Sleeping in.

2. Napping.

3. Going to my friends' classes.

4. Grading and planning some stuff. I have to write that small because I really haven't been doing all that much of that. 

5. Convincing other people that they don't need to do their homework / study / go to bed early because playing with and / or feeding me is much more important. I am the worst. 

6. Going to Cornbelly's. What's that, you say? Wellllll just my [fourth] favorite place on Earth! After, you know, like Disney World, and the temple, and my house.....Pictures coming soon!

7. Going to a Halloween party all dressed up with the roommates!

Left to right: Minnie Mouse, Pocahontas, Tangled, Alice in Wonderland, Snow White

As you can see, the Jew joined us! She came to town this weekend and pretty soon, I will be venturing over to her hood for even more fun times :)

8. Eating at the Cannon Center with some studly biceps.

9. Consorting with famous authors. NBD (aka, VBD) but I shook hands with him and rode in a car with him and chatted with him and just, you know, spilled the Starbucks that I got just for hanging out with him on my new blue pants about it, but whatever. #famouspeoplepantsfail

10. Ate my heart out for the annual birthday lunch at Tucano's!

11. Re-discovered the Fall Waffle at the Awful Waffle.....why is this list almost entirely about food.....

12. Spent the night in Snowbird in this swanky little place that I'm obsessed with, with some roommates, a hot tub, some romantic music, and about 40 cookies.

13. Watched House at the End of the Street again. For the record, it is at least as scary in the drive-in as it is in the real people theater.

14. Watched Casper for the first time! Watching movies has just become my favorite thing recently.....totally not sure why, but yep. That's just what happens when you go off-track, kids.

15. Carved a punkin! You have to say it like that: punkin. Or else you basically hate Halloween.

16. Made about 5069 punkin seeds. And they are the most bomb-amazing punkin seeds you have ever tasted, ever.

Recipe:

1. Get all your seeds rinsed off.
2. Boil seeds in salt water (2 cups water for every 1/2 cup seeds, 1/2 tsp salt for every cup water).
3. Simmer for 10 minutes.
4. Drain.
6. Put olive oil on a cookie sheet. Spread it around. Put the seeds on top.
7. Sprinkle with lemon pepper seasoning and onion seasoning. And some more salt if you don't care about your cholesterol.
8. Bake at 400* for about 10 minutes. When you hear popping, they are getting close!
9. Show off your talents to all your friends who previously hated punkin seeds. Like me, until I was converted with this very recipe!

Peace out, Provo! Don't worry, I'll be back in time to fit in 2 more Halloween parties. Which is convenient, since I have 5 more costumes for this year that I haven't worn yet.

Spice Up your Closing Ceremonies

So, I was really tired today.

Probably about as tired as one might be if they had gone to bed at 6 in the morning.

Imagine watching the Closing Ceremonies of the Summer 2012 Olympics feeling like that.

It got a little bit trippy.

Which is why I decided to do this post on how I would have improved the Closing Ceremonies if I were the one in charge! Ehm:

1. I would have gotten rid of the roller-skating nuns. What? What was that?

2. I would have changed Jessie J's outfit. I would have given her a really fluffy charcoal-gray sparkly tulle skirt to wear with her leotard.

3. I would have reunited the Beatles. If the Spice Girls could come back together, so could the Beatles! [John Lennon and George Harrison would just have to work something out. It's the Olympics. Get it together, guys.]

4. I would not have formed anyone's face with weird white puzzle pieces.

5. I would have kindly asked Annie Lennox to not perform.

How scary is this woman??

6. I would have definitely kept the Spartans out of it.

7. I would have given One Direction a cooler stage. If Annie Lennox gets a pirate ship, my boys definitely deserve something a little fancier.

Also, they would have been given a solid hour. And since I would be the one in charge, I would be on stage with them. And they'd be singing right to me. 

8. You KNOW there would have been no Russell Brand in my Closing Ceremonies.

9. Prince Harry would get double the face time that he did.

At least double. 

10. George Michael would not have sung "Freedom" or whatever the heck he sang. He would have sung "Faith."

  

11. The Spice Girls would not have stopped after only two songs. They would have stopped after.....twenty songs.

12. Victoria Beckham would have given me her dress after the Closing Ceremonies were over. (Also her husband.) What?

If only I really had been in charge. Even McKayla would have to be impressed.

via

Whataman

Once upon a time, there was a family that started out with a girl. Then another girl came, and then another girl, and then another girl. All of these girls were quite welcome, but when finally the fifth child came, and he was a boy, there was great rejoicing in the land. 

That boy was arguably paid as much attention as an infant as Prince Harry himself was. His parents loved him, and his sisters fawned over him. He could do no wrong. His name was Joseph, and he was born on May 13th, 16 years ago. 

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have to admit that we may have taught him how to kiss our hands and open doors for us with a hand flourish and an "after you." And we also might have let him dress up in a sea-foam green princess dress once. 

But no matter what we did, Joseph has turned out downright manly. He is taller than me. He has a man voice. The picture above shows him before he turned into a man all of a sudden. Kind of overnight.

I love how helpful Joseph is. He is just a nice boy! When I ask for his help with something, he kindly gives it. He is really patient with me when I am accidentally dumb at something. 

He is also fun to play with. I love playing nerts with him, or Just Dance, or basketball, or biking with him, or Ticket to Ride, or anything else. He is fun to play with and he is so cute - I mean, manly - when he is explaining the rules to me.

Joseph is awesome because he is super-smart. I remember him reading the Harry Potter books when he was only 6 or 7. It was so cute because the book was like, as big as him.

Last year for Joseph's birthday, I took a trip with him and Julie to Virginia Beach. We stayed with some family friends and had a great little weekend. He let us listen to whatever music we wanted to in the car and didn't even act judgey! 

Joseph is super-handsome. See above.

Joseph is versatile. He can be serious, but he is also silly a lot of the time. He does funny poses in pictures and joins in when we burst into a silly song at the dinner table. 

He is a good brother to all of his sisters. One time when we were younger, I was sitting in the study and he and Julie walked in. 

"Oh, hi Sister Johnson!" Julie said. "Thank you sooo much for agreeing to watch Bud today."

"I....." I started to interrupt, but then didn't have anything to say.

"I'll be back at around 4?" Julie said, smiling sweetly at me.

"Sure?" I said. 

"Okay, bye! Bud, be good for Sister Johnson."

As it turns out, "Bud" was a game that Julie and Joseph played frequently. They were such cute little buddies then, and they continue to be now that they are both in high school. 

Joseph is also a good broder to Sarah. He and Jacob like to tease her, like older brothers do, but they really love and look out for her. Look at how manly he is dancing with her!

Okay, he usuallllllyy takes good care of her.

Joseph does track at school. This reminds me that he is a man because he runs like a man. And then he smells like a man. 

 And then, he poses like a man. 

I just think he is a freaking stud. With or without glasses, he looks so great!

Joseph is a leader. He is good with kids, and he is good at spotting the needs of others. I love to see the way he watches out for people who maybe don't have as many friends. He is sensitive and kind. But like, in a manly way :)

He is such a good brother to me. I think one way we really bonded was when I taught him piano lessons. He was my first student, so I tried out lots of new things with him. He was always patient and respectful. He practiced whatever I asked him to practice. I remember sitting next to him on the piano bench and just laughing with him. I love watching him play piano, because whenever he makes a mistake, he shakes his head and kind of grunts, and then fixes it. It's a funny little habit that I actually kind of picked up.....

Maybe from having so many sisters, Joseph has gotten really good at consoling me by saying just one or two things. When I'm annoyed, he'll listen to me vent, and then he'll just think about it for a minute, and then he'll say his one-liner, and then I'll feel better. Just like that. He is so handy to have around.  

I love you Joseph! I love the way you want me to cut your hair even though I suck at it. I love how you aren't too cool to join in on dance parties that we like to randomly have. I love how you develop your own interests in things like LOTR and then you want to share those things with me. You are so great for so many reasons! Keep manning it up!

Christine

Once upon a time, life was pretty good at Wyview Park. Everyone was making friends with everyone else. We felt so comfortable and content.

And then, we heard that a new girl was moving in. We wondered about her. We facebook-stalked her. We caught glimpses of her. And one day, just before Halloween, we met her.

One of my friends txtd me: "The new girl is here!" I grabbed my bowl of food and ran to her apartment.

"Oh hey, guys!" I said. Very casually. "How's everyone's day going?" Obviously no one would suspect that I was just there to meet the new girl and form an opinion of her. Especially not when she came out into the living room and I practically barked, "HI! Are you the new roommate? I'm Heather."

She kindly pretended like I was normal and said hi back and introduced herself. Her name was Christine.

She looked like this:

We loved her immediately. 

Freshman year was only made better by Christine moving into Wyview. One time, she organized an activity where we made caramel apples. And I'm not sure how, but somehow, this picture came out of it. And I'm so happy it did. For obvious reasons.

Christine is a super-fun friend to have because she is always up for a fun activity! The fall semester activity our freshman year was themed something princessy or knighty or royal in some way, so a bunch of us dressed up as princesses. Amazingly, Christine made her Sleeping Beauty costume. She is so talented and stuff!

Another time, we went to whiteout night at Studio 600 in Salt Lake. It was so much fun! Oh, even though half of us didn't get in because all we had for ID's were out student ID's. It was still fun dressing up for it!

Christine and I weren't roommates when we were freshmen, even though we might as well have been. (I think I slept in my own bed.....maybe 3 nights a week. The rest of my nights were spent on either Winnie's couch or Christine's.) But we repented of that and lived together our sophomore year! I remember flying back to Utah, walking into my room, and finding little post-it notes all over. They said things like, "All of this shelf space is yours" and "You can switch sides if you want, I don't mind either way :)" and "I missed you! Welcome home!"

Another point I feel like I should make: Christine is stylish and photogenic. Sometimes when she was my roommate she would have me pick her outfit for Sunday and it was always kind of like a grand privilege because she has such cute and classy dresses!

Christine is awesome because she is spontaneous. We did a ton of random fun things together, from dancing in the rain to Leggers on the couch to hitting up the Lehi Rodeo. And they were all so. fun. 

I am so happy that Christine went with me to Florida to work at Disney. We had an amazing time together! We danced with some Moroccans, went to Universal Studios, laid out at the pool to listen to general conference, struggled with the crappy internet, and got wonderfully tan. Christine was a lifeguard, so obviously she got the most tan. And the boys loved her. One beautiful Australian boy even took her to Universal Studios!

We were in Florida for Valentines Day, and when I got back to my apartment after work, I found a pink heart-shaped lollipop and a handwritten card on my bed from Christine. It was such a sweet card and you better believe I still have it! 

When we were in Florida, we weren't going to school. I love Christine as a student, too, but when she doesn't have school to worry about, she is only just fun. All the time.

I love these pictures because, look! Christine is always willing to make a face or do a silly pose for a picture with me. She doesn't act embarrassed or always offer to take the picture so she doesn't have to be in it. Which is valuable!

Tan tan, can you do the tan tan?

 Christine is wonderful because all of my other friends like her too! When Caitlin, Christine and I went to the Lehi Roundup, we all had so much fun together. When Nicole came out to visit a few weeks ago and Christine practiced how she could approach a random hot stranger on the beach, Nicole couldn't stop talking about how hilarious Christine was. When Christine met two of my guy friends, they thought she was hot. Obviously. 

Christine is inclusive and diplomatic. I love how she plans things and invites me to them! I also love how she is thoughtful of other people's feelings. One time, my friends were teasing me about how bad I am at directions. Just to put it out there, I am terrible at directions, and I didn't really mind the teasing. But then Christine piped up and said, "Actually! Heather really impressed me in Florida, she was good at driving there." It was just a simple thing to say, and even though I wasn't on the verge of tears or anything, it made me feel so good to get that little bit of credit!

Christine is always there for important events. She is super-busy with work and school, but she has come every year to Tucano's for my birthday. When we plan something, she is there. I love that I can count on her :)

Christine is cool because she is lots of different things. She is fun to go dancing with! She is easy to have deep conversations with. We have great conversations and boys and kissing! Then we sit next to each in church and be reverent. She is a great mom at amusement parks! She also takes the best pictures on the teacups. She looks great with blonde hair! She looks fabulous with dark hair! She can't be stopped!

Christine is an example to me in so many ways. One way is her selflessness! Check out this recent blog post of hers for proof of that. And then follow her blog, because it is greatly entertaining. 

 New girls don't always become lifelong friends, but with Christine, I would say we all got incredibly lucky. Next year, we will both be graduating, and I can't wait to take a million more fun pictures together in our caps and gowns! Especially because I'm sure they won't be the last pictures we take :) Happy birthday Christine! You are awesome!