First World Problems

So I have a lot to blog about, but HERE'S THE THING. I haven't because right now, I am trying to:

1. move schools (we're moving tomorrow for the last 3 weeks so my school can get central air conditioning)

2. get engagement pictures taken (check!)

3. get a job for next year (which involves scheduling interviews, writing emails to principals, calling on other contacts for help in getting a job, finding substitutes so I can go to interviews during the school day, etc.)

4. unpack all my stuff at my summer apartment (not trying too hard to do that one, I'll be honest)

5. pack all my stuff at school

6. plan a wedding (oh, mine)

7. figure out where I'm living next year (actually this is Stephen's job but sometimes when I'm stressed about a few things then I start looking for other things to stress about too)

8. get a dress to get married in (finally done with that one)

9. plan my summer

10. plan my fall

11. save money (and the only way I can think of to do that is to just not eat....)

Blablabla boring. All I'm saying is, I'm excited for the day when I can do the following with some degree of consistency without it turning into a freaking panty-tangling process and event:

- sleep

- make and eat dinner (yesterday's dinner was a string cheese and today's was half an apple because it just takes SO MUCH EFFORT to make food and my milk just expired so cereal is no longer an option)

- brush my teeth

- go running (I know. Who am I?? I don’t even know, but I actually really like going running now and I think about it and want to do it and I try to plan it in, and then I get home and the sun sets and the world gets dark and I get scared of getting raped, so I end up just turning on the music video for “Good Feeling” by Flo Rida and running in place in my room while that plays, and friends, that is not even the same thing as running outside, let me tell ya.)

- lay out (if the sun could set at 9:30, I'd be happy. I mean, really happy. I could get home from school at 7 and lay out until the sun set. But no, it sets at 7:10.

- see my friends. I miss them really bad. And I'm turning into a bad friend, like, I know I am. It's depressing that the only time I can ever see them is Monday nights for the Bachelorette. Speaking of which...

- watch the Bachelorette. I usually am so painstakingly devoted to this show, and I take notes and I know the men by name, and I look forward to it every week. And I just can't invest in it this season. It's way too much effort. And it's such a dumb thing and such a first-world problem, but it's my blog and I'll first-world-problem it up if I want to.

I appreciate

Teacher Appreciation Week. Because it looks like this:

This on Monday.

This on Tuesday at lunchtime (I forgot to take a picture until I'd already started eating it, lo siento...

This on Thursday (almost made me cry, you guys)

This plus rolls plus cinammon butter plus chicken plus pork from Texas Roadhouse on Friday.

Also this on Friday.

I appreciation Teacher Appreciation Week so much, in fact, that when I get home, I do things that you might not expect from me.

For instance, I handed flowers to this guy who came along to help me clean out my trunk, and he  waited until his roommates could see, then handed them back to me, saying "Here you go, Heather" as if he had gotten them for me...

Another instance, I did this:

THAT'S RIGHT I WENT RUNNING.

Outside, you guys. For 2 miles. I was motivated by the following:

- the new shorts
- the guy
- the ever-imminent fear that at any moment, I could be attacked and I would have to run even faster to escape
- the Sidney Bristow
- the new jorts (again)

And, in a truth that is perhaps even more shocking than the fact that I went running outside at all, I actually kind of....really liked it.

Always a little awkward when....

....you go to the Jordan River temple and the guy doing confirmations asks why you aren't in school and you know (because you have the Spirit with you because you are in the temple after all) that he thinks you are a high schooler.

....and you also know that you can't just say, "I got a substitute," because then he'll just think you're a high schooler who saw that there was a substitute and decided to skip class.

....and you can't think of a subtle way to casually let him know that you are a teacher, so in the moment you throw all subtlety down the drain and just blurt out "I, uh, I'm a teacher, I left early, I have an interview."

....it is 10:00 in the morning and already 4 children in your class have cried.

....this note is in the nice notes box:

....and everyone denies having written it. (And also, it is eerily similar to the very first nice note you wrote to The Boy once upon a time last semester....)

....there are 8 girls at a table at B-Dubbs, surrounded by wings and big-screen TV's, and not one boy is there with them.

....and although it may look like a clever "go where the men are" kind of girls' night out, not one of those girls is there because she wants to get hit on, either.

....a box of crayons sets off an entire string of events that your team dubs "The Foot Saga."

....and said saga is still ongoing and you get the idea that it will continue until the end of the year.

....you go to Zumba and feel all excited about it and enjoy your time there, and then the next week when it's time to go again, someone has chest pains and someone else has no gas in their car and someone else has no motivation, so that's the end of that short-lived reign of fitness.

....boyfriends can't say anything without best friends knowing about it, and even if some quotes don't make it to the Man Board, they do make it into our normal conversations.

....some idiots come over to your apartment and interrupt The Bachelor because they are playing Bigger or Better and they are wondering if you have anything you would like to trade with them? And you can't even talk to them because, excuse me, it's The Bachelor.

....you see police lights as you come in your apartment and catch a glimpse of someone who you think you recognize and jump to the conclusion that your Relief Society president has been in a car accident, so you decide to bring her some cookies, but then as you walk over there, the police make you nervous, so you go to her apartment to make sure that it is in fact her....

....and some boys are walking away from her apartment carrying the front door??

....and you don't stop them.

....someone thinks that it is okay to lock a shopping cart to the stairs outside of your apartment and actually they are right, that is a little okay, but what is not okay is rattling it around at 2 in the morning when you are trying to go to sleep.

....you go in for a job interview and wonder if someone accidentally told the guy in charge of the interview that he was just there to interview himself, because truly you feel more like an audience member than a job applicant.

....you live in utah and all the cars like to remind you.

I-I-I-I Work Out

Sometimes, your boyfriend really wants you to work out with him. And while you might think that this is working out,

the boyfriend might not agree. Which is unfortunate, because his version of working out might be a 45-minute military training thing that he invented that includes push-ups, planks, jumping jacks, crunches, squats, arm circles for AN HOUR.....and sundry other things.

Working out so hardcore is actually kind of fun if you are motivated by your goal to get Venus dimples by the time you go back on-track. But no matter how fun it is, it can also be extremely tiring.

Which is why, sometimes, your roommate ends up taking this picture:

and sending it to you the next day.

After all, who doesn't love a good post-workout nap on the perfectly clean carpet of their 6-girl college apartment?

The charmed life

sometimes involves.....

- waking up, going outside, picking raspberries and blackberries, and eating them with your cereal.

- breaking world records in all Track and Field events after 2 hours of playing Kinect Sports with your sister.

- tackling your siblings in a concerted effort to get stronger.

- becoming addicted to the Big Bang Theory, simply because there is so much time around here.

- eating all the caramel in the world. Literally. ALL THE CARAMEL.

- saying, "Julie! / Joseph! / Jacob! / Sarah! How come.....you're so cute?" every time I see one of those cute people.

- becoming a pro at shooting a basketball backwards.

- narrowly avoiding vicious scams by people who don't live charmed lives like stupid Patricia J. Hall.

- listening to this song on a loop:

  

- following up every family prayer with 12 push-ups and 21 crunches (or however old you are).

- trying to tackle your brother only to bang your head on the wall.

- wondering, "but why is the jam gone?"

- laughing hysterically because Pluto isn't technically a planet.

- blasting this song every time it is on the radio and singing along with Baby Sister:

 

- going to Rita's whenever I feel like it, because it is just like 5 minutes away instead of 2000 miles away like it is when I'm in Utah....

- having friends over who cover your brother's eyes when an inappropriate part comes on in the movie you're watching.

- having brothers who cover your friend's eyes when an inappropriate part comes on in the movie you're watching.

- phrases like "Screw you, Tower of Babel!" coming up in scripture study.

- spending a morning watching Steve Irwin videos on YouTube with Baby Sister.

- stacking up significant fines on your library card and feeling really embarrassed about that since they just waived $18.40 in fines from the last time you checked something out (February of 2011).

- lunching with the Padre.

- hacking into my grandma's Facebook. getting nice posts on Facebook clearly written by my grandma who loves me.

EXTREME

A lot of people, when they want to be bangin' like a speaker box, will resort to extreme measures. We are always hearing about extreme diets and extreme exercise routines and how dangerous they are. I am not an extremist. I stay FAR away from these extremes!

Here is my diet: I only eat food that I want to eat. I am okay with wasting food if it is disgusting. Why would I stuff myself full of nasty calories when I could just eat delicious calories?! I used to pick around around my food, eating the worst bites first and saving the best parts for last. But now, I start with the best bites and if I am still hungry by the time I get to the not-as-good bites, then I will eat them. Otherwise, I will throw them out. That's not too extreme, is it?

Here is my exercise routine: Occasionally do ab-strengthening, core-strengthening, and body-toning exercises for 20 mins with Aimee at home. Walk to campus every day. Walk home from campus every day. Walk up and down stairs. Um....yep, that's about it.

But this week, I did get a little extreme. Aimee, her fiance Rhett, and I - we all got a little extreme. We signed up for 7-day trial memberships at Gold's Gym. To get our ($0) money's worth, we are determined to go every day this week! After getting some marriage advice from a condescending, bald smoker named Otis who had been married 3 times, we were able to get started.

In Florida, there was a fitness center by my apartment, and I would sometimes go there and run on the treadmill. (I'm using the term "run" very loosely here.) Compared to that place that only had 3 treadmills, Gold's Gym in Provo is EXTREME! When I walked in, I was immediately intimidated by all the machines that resemble guillotines. I was less intimidated by all the super-serious worker-outers running on treadmills, so Aimee and I headed for the movie room.

The movie room is EXTREME! and kind of dangerous. There are a bunch of exercise bikes, treadmills, and stair-steppers all facing a big screen. The lights are turned so low that you can't read the buttons on the treadmill. Even worse, you can't always tell how close you are to the other machines until you almost get taken out by one of the stair-steppers.

But even with all these hazards, I like working out in the movie room, because I don't compare myself to as many people. When I'm in the main treadmill room, with normal lighting, I compare myself to everyone else in the room. I can't do that in the movie room because I can only see, like, three other people. Everyone else gets swallowed up in the darkness.

When I am running, my music has to be a little extreme. Just a lowercase kind of extreme. I also have to listen to happy music. Angry music doesn't motivate me as well as happy music does. I have to listen to my funnest, most upbeat songs. They have to make me want to run SO bad or else I'll just settle for a 3.5 mph speed-walk. That is not extreme.

Not only does my music have to make me want to run, but it also has to make me want to dance! I don't know if anyone notices in the dark abyss that is the movie room, but I zigzag across the treadmill as I run. I constantly change the speed so I can step in time with the beat. I almost fall off at least twice every workout. I find myself running into the handlebar in front of me. I accidentally step one foot off the treadmill and my hands fly to the bars on either side of me, clinging to them frantically as I regain my footing. It's an adventure, to say the least.

As I run, I like to set goals for myself. Setting goals is awesome! But it is not as awesome if your goals change every minute. My goals change every minute. I'll think, I just need to keep up this pace until I get to 15 minutes. Then I'll think, Actually. I don't have to run that long if I can reach 100 calories burned before then. Then I'll think, Okay. I'm not allowed to walk during the chorus of this song. Or, I'm almost to 1 mile! When I get to a mile, I'm allowed to take a little walk break. You get the idea.

Unfortunately, listening to so many extreme songs and working out in such an EXTREME environment with EXTREME lighting is only fun for a little bit. Aimee and I are tired of running. We are proud of Rhett and Jacob for having gym passes, but we will not be signing up. We'll just stick to Bikini Body for now, thanks.

Today I don't feel like......

Doing anything. Friends, I'm afraid that this song has become the theme song of my life.

Except the part about meeting a really nice girl. But everything else.

To make myself feel better, I have compiled this list of

Productive things I have done since leaving Florida:

1. caught up a little on Nikita and Gossip Girl.

2. caught up on everyone else's blogs.

3. figured out my dress for the Rose Ball. (still have yet to figure out my shoes and accessories.)

4. painted my nails.

5. painted my toenails.

6. picked up Jacob from school one day.

7. made dinner two nights!

8. took Julie to the store to buy ice cream.

9. went to NIH for a screening for a study.

10. went to Institute.

11. went to Alyssa's house and helped her cut her hair. Even though she had to cut 6 inches off the next day. And she says she hates it now. I bet it still looks beautiful!

12. caught up on sleep. (that's productive, right?)

13. made a photo book of my time in Florida.

14. started writing some missionary letters.

15. worked out with Julie.

16. wrote this blog.

I think when I go back to Utah, this song will be the theme song of my life.