Welcome to Brovo

Technically, the city I live in is called Provo. But sometimes, I think it should be called Brovo, because sometimes, I think it is being overrun by bros. Not always....just sometimes. Caitlin wrote a very enlightening and straightforward report of these fellas last year, which you can read here.

 

And now, I'd just like to add my own signs that you may be living in Brovo....

- Bros have become such an issue that some non-bros decide to throw a tool party where everyone has to dress up like tools in blatant mockery

- Your boy accuses you of checking yourself out in the reflective windows of a restaurant, when really, you were just trying to avoid making eye contact with the Bros who were all standing around by the exit of Maria Bonita's, taking turns making their pectorals dance

- The phone conversation you overhear at the pool goes like this: "Dude! Bro, what's up! Dude, come chill with me. Yeah man, it's sweet. Oh, my roommates are so sick. They're way tight guys. No dude, they're awesome, this summer's gonna be sick. BRO. No, dude, listen. We had a game night last night and they were all, 'We've never done anything like this before!' I was like, what? Are you guys for real? No, man, they were serious! But they're way cool. No, I actually broke up with my girlfriend last month. Dude, no, listen to this - I moved here, and she moved in after me! She like followed me here so she's in my ward and everything. Oh yeah, it's super awkward. I try to be nice and talk to her but she just hates my guts now." etc.

- The bro on the phone hangs up the phone and immediately starts looking for a way to strike up a conversation with the girls kind of close to him, who really just want to lay by the pool and not be bothered

- And the girls respond kind of like

 - Even though striking up a conversation might not be all that bro-ly, and could just be friendly, but in some cases, it probably isn't just friendly, since there was a definite attempt at swagger in his signature "notice me" walk from chair to poolside.

- While walking with your (admittedly really cute) friends one night, a random bro in a car rolls down his window while passing you to shout out "Oh heyyy ladies!"

- The gym is still crowded, but not as crowded as it usually is, because so many of the bros have left for the summer, now that their contract at The Village is up for the year.

- You and your best friend are both sitting around lonesome because both of you have recently been abandoned by your boyfriends. And this abandonment has left you with the (possibly inaccurate but still very persistent) feeling that the only boys left in this town are Bros.

Does that make sense, what I'm saying?? I don't actually think all the boys in Provo are Bros. I just think a lot of them are. And sometimes, when you get together with your best friend and throw pity parties for yourselves on account of your temporary singledom, all the boys start to look like Bros, because they are not who you really care about.

As in, I'm sorry, but Barney Stintson does not live in Provo. And actually he's gay in real life. And even if he weren't, we may love his bro-ness on TV, but I don't know if I would love it as much if he brought it here. So I guess I have to just keep saying No to Bros.