Why You Shouldn't Teach

1. Safety duty. I'm sure if this blog was more popular, I would get at least a few comments from a parent whose child got hit by a car because their teacher wasn't out on safety duty. But this blog is not that popular, so I am going to complain about safety duty. This school is literally psychotic about it. We get our panties all twisted up every single day if someone is missing their safety duty. There has to be at least one teacher on every crosswalk. I'm talking about the crosswalks in the parking lot, not the ones on the busy road that is actually like 5 miles away from my school. WHY!? Guys? Just why. Most kids know to look before they cross the street. Most parents look around before they pull forward, because they're at a freaking elementary school at 3:30pm and they know that there are dozens of kids all around.

I don't really want to make the argument that safety duty is an unimportant job. Mostly I just want to make the argument that I should not be the one who has to do it. I am too busy making copies and erasing my board and uploading grades and rearranging desks and emailing parents and checking books back into the guided reading library and filling out forms, and I'm just not sure why the PTA isn't in charge of safety duty.

2. Other teachers. Mostly, I like other teachers. But there are some teachers who don't understand their job, and instead of just teaching their students, they try to teach the teachers around them, too. To them I would like to say: Shut up. Go back in your classroom and close the door and stop trying to tell me what to do. And teachers that "shhhh" other teachers are the worst.

3. Paperwork. It's just so annoying. I know it is not solely annoying to teachers - there are plenty of jobs where paperwork is a downside. But it is certainly annoying to me.

4. Parents. Can be so awesome, so so awesome. But they can also be the worst thing ever. I guess it's just hard to be a parent, because not many of them can seem to strike the perfect balance between being nice and babying their child, and between being strict and just plain mean. I kind of like my job because kids get assigned to me and then even if the parents don't like it at first, I have all year to convince them that I am in fact awesome, you're welcome. But I kind of don't like it because until I prove myself, some of them just set up camp in my butt. And I want them to leave.

5. Salary. You do not get paid enough. Everyone told me this, but I looked at the numbers and I thought that sounded like plenty of money for me. Listen: the only way you actually get paid "enough" to be a teacher is if you are teaching as a hobby. Not as a job. Not as a career. As a hobby.

But here's why you should teach, if you feel so inclined:

1. You have to do what you love. No job is perfect, and no matter what you do, you can find something in your line of work to complain about. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

2. You get to color, and cut, and glue, and put glitter on things if you want.

3. You get hugs pretty much daily.

4. Sometimes you get shivers because you really are sitting at your own desk, in your own classroom, looking over the names of your very own students, and you're doing exactly what you've always wanted to do, and that is really a nice thing. Not everyone can say they're doing exactly what they've always wanted.

5. Children's books are cute.

6. Kids are really smart, and really nice. Sometimes they're snots. But in general, they are nice, and they don't want to hurt other people.

Final score: 5-6. I guess you should teach, after all. [If you want to.]