Sneaking: the Good, the Bad, the Ugly

Sneaking can be good. Like when Sydney Bristow does it.

That is good because it saves people, like Marshall, or Weiss is Nice. Sydney Bristow sneaking is also good because she brings this guy along:

and let's be real, no one in the history of ever has ever complained about that. 

Sneaking is good when you sneakily say you won't be getting back from a trip until way late Sunday night, and then you show up way early on Sunday night, and there is much rejoicing in the land.

Sneaking is also good when you sneakily leave B-Dubbs on a boy's car so he knows that you like him. (Don't do this if you don't want to blow your cover.)

Sorry for the crappy quality of this picture, but we can't all have smart phones. Also, we can't all wait until the sun comes up before we go off to work. :/

Sneaking is good when you sneakily make your roommate's bed just in time for cleaning checks.

Sneaking is good when you anonymously send flowers.

Sneaking is good when your students set up traps to catch a leprechaun and he someone manages to sneak through all of them and escape unharmed, taking the gold coins with him.

Why is that good, you ask? Because said leprechaun is a nice leprechaun who left us a note....

.....and some Lucky Charms under the teacher's seat.

So yes, sneaking can definitely be good. But then there are some times when sneaking is bad.

Like when you sneakily put yourself into Francie's body so that you can be Fake Francie and pretend like you're Real Francie so that maybe one day you can sneakily kill Sydney Bristow, who is Real Francie's roommate.

I mean honestly, whatabee.

Sneaking is also bad when you go rockclimbing on a night when UVU students get in for $5. And when they ask, "So you're both UVU students, right?" you sneakily glaze your eyes and look around and let The Boy answer, since you are not a UVU student, but he is, so no one has to lie if you just don't say anything.

Why is that bad, you may ask? Because they might let you both in for the UVU student price, but karma is real, kids. And you might have a great time rock climbing for $5, but give it a week and you might find yourself walking around trying to hold hands with a bear paw, because The Boy might have broken his pinky playing dodgeball. And this might make it so you can't go rock climbing for at least 3 months. By which time $5 nights for UVU students will probably be a thing of the past. Don't try to tell me these things are unrelated. I've learned my lesson. I am 'umbled.

Sneaking is also bad when there's a paper airplane making and throwing contest during halftime at the UVU basketball game, and your paper airplane sneaks in under my paper airplane and is just a little bit more on the target than mine was, so I do not win a 5-day vacation to Disney Land as planned.



She's cute, right? And her parents are good. Sneakers. But we can't all cry like that because we're going to Disneyland. Some people cry like that because they are not going to Disneyland. And some people just want to....

Sneaking a kiss is an example of good sneakiness, (depending on the boy, obviously) but not when he sneaks a kiss by sneakily revealing that he has some juicy bit of information that he is withholding and then saying, "I'm not going to tell you until you kiss me. You have to kiss me first." Because then your curiosity is going to take over, and you are going to have to kiss him. And only then will you find out that his mouth has had things in it that you never wanted your mouth to be exposed to. Like his roommate's toe.

Bad sneakiness is bad. But you want to know when it gets ugly? When you sneakily call the bishop to tattle on your roommates.

Not saying that I know anyone who would do that. Just saying. I imagine that it would get ugly if someone did. 

I'll leave you with this, one of my favorite examples of sneakiness:



May we always land on our feet. Happy sneaking!

Always a little awkward when....

....you go to the Jordan River temple and the guy doing confirmations asks why you aren't in school and you know (because you have the Spirit with you because you are in the temple after all) that he thinks you are a high schooler.

....and you also know that you can't just say, "I got a substitute," because then he'll just think you're a high schooler who saw that there was a substitute and decided to skip class.

....and you can't think of a subtle way to casually let him know that you are a teacher, so in the moment you throw all subtlety down the drain and just blurt out "I, uh, I'm a teacher, I left early, I have an interview."

....it is 10:00 in the morning and already 4 children in your class have cried.

....this note is in the nice notes box:

....and everyone denies having written it. (And also, it is eerily similar to the very first nice note you wrote to The Boy once upon a time last semester....)

....there are 8 girls at a table at B-Dubbs, surrounded by wings and big-screen TV's, and not one boy is there with them.

....and although it may look like a clever "go where the men are" kind of girls' night out, not one of those girls is there because she wants to get hit on, either.

....a box of crayons sets off an entire string of events that your team dubs "The Foot Saga."

....and said saga is still ongoing and you get the idea that it will continue until the end of the year.

....you go to Zumba and feel all excited about it and enjoy your time there, and then the next week when it's time to go again, someone has chest pains and someone else has no gas in their car and someone else has no motivation, so that's the end of that short-lived reign of fitness.

....boyfriends can't say anything without best friends knowing about it, and even if some quotes don't make it to the Man Board, they do make it into our normal conversations.

....some idiots come over to your apartment and interrupt The Bachelor because they are playing Bigger or Better and they are wondering if you have anything you would like to trade with them? And you can't even talk to them because, excuse me, it's The Bachelor.

....you see police lights as you come in your apartment and catch a glimpse of someone who you think you recognize and jump to the conclusion that your Relief Society president has been in a car accident, so you decide to bring her some cookies, but then as you walk over there, the police make you nervous, so you go to her apartment to make sure that it is in fact her....

....and some boys are walking away from her apartment carrying the front door??

....and you don't stop them.

....someone thinks that it is okay to lock a shopping cart to the stairs outside of your apartment and actually they are right, that is a little okay, but what is not okay is rattling it around at 2 in the morning when you are trying to go to sleep.

....you go in for a job interview and wonder if someone accidentally told the guy in charge of the interview that he was just there to interview himself, because truly you feel more like an audience member than a job applicant.

....you live in utah and all the cars like to remind you.