The world is your oyster!: Shut up, Jason.        

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My name is Heather.

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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Shut up, Jason.

I met a new boy this week. His name is Jason. He is crazy, and he kills people. He just kills random people who are camping in the woods, or living in a trailer park, or canoeing on a lake, or sitting in a port-a-potty. And he never dies. People try again and again to kill him. They shoot him and drown him, and then they cremate him and bury him, and somehow, he continues to run around the woods, wearing a weird white mask and killing innocent people.

I am not too fond of him.

This week, and probably next week too, AMC is doing this thing called Fear Fest, where they play scary movies all the time. Instead of their normal catchphrase, "Story matters here," they've started saying "Gory matters here," which I really don't like. I definitely prefer "story" to "gory." Sorry if that makes me a Halloween Scrooge.

For some reason, someone thought that the first Jason movie was so good that they had to make it again. So they made it again, and called it Friday the 13th Part II. Then they made it again, and called it Friday the 13th Part III. Then they kept making more and more until there were 9 of these terrible movies.

Why did this happen??? I just don't understand the appeal. How was there such a call for cinematic unpleasantness and 90 minutes of plot-less misery that people were able to make millions of dollars off of producing the same thing nine times in a row? People actually enjoyed this?

And what's worse is, I can't even talk about the poor taste of everyone else without at least acknowledging my own hypocrisy. I have watched about 4 of these stupid Jason movie in the past week - edited on TV, but still awful - and hated every one of them. And yet chances are still depressingly high that I will find myself sitting on the couch at one in the morning, covering my eyes, half-watching another one tonight with my roommates. I won't even be cuddling with a boy, delusional with the idea that he is protecting me from whatever is on the screen. So it is a lose-lose situation that I have found myself in almost every night this week.

I am putting my foot down. Tonight, I am going to sleep instead of staying up and watching another Jason movie. No one is forcing me to watch it. I'm not going to. I refuse to listen to Jason being mean tonight.

Jason never even talks, but I still feel the urge to tell him to just shut up.

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