The day my Red High Heel went out

My Idaho vacation only got better with the coming of Sunday. Well, first of all I have to admit that I was super-antsy in church. I've come up with the following reasons for this.

1. Church started at 9 am.

2. Church started with RelSoc.

3. RelSoc started with the announcement that "modesty candy" would not be passed out today because everyone looked pretty modest. I turned to Nicole in shock. She smiled reassuringly at me and explained that they usually hand out "modesty candy" to a few girls who particularly exemplify modesty. I was not reassured. I became antsy. (Antsier.)

4. RelSoc and Sunday School were both held in a dance room, so I kept peeking compulsively around Nicole at my reflection.

5. Was my antsiness a subconscious rebellion to the "modesty candy" and the signs all over BYU-I's campus about not wearing shorts? I don't consider myself particularly rebellious but maybe I am.

6. I only saw one cute boy. He didn't see me. ANTSY.

All antsiness aside, it was a lovely meeting. Nicole and I went home, took a nap, and then one of Nicole's friends invited us over for lasagna and breadsticks. It was delicious! I love being fed so much.

After our midday meal, we had an important task: Nicole's photo project. I don't really know what it was, but she needed me to be a model. I needed no further information. Photo shoots are among my favorite activities! I fixed my hair a little and we headed down to the BYU-I gardens, arms overflowing with stuffed animals and kitchenware.

Nicole's idea was to portray the classic little-girl-having-a-tea-party-with-her-stuffed-animals. I tried really hard to channel my inner child, but it wasn't long before we heard the sound of real children's voices.

"There are children in this garden," Nicole observed seriously. "I'm about to kidnap them for myproject."

We laughed about it, but not even five minutes later, two beautiful blonde kids, a 6-yr-old boy and his 3-yr-old sister, came over to the table, their eyes widening at the tea party setup.

Nicole and I smiled at them, trying not to look creepy or overly excited. "Hi," we said. Their mom came over and said "Oh wow, look at this!" Their grandpa followed and smiled as the two kids sat down at our table, conspicuously eyeing the Ritz crackers and mini Oreos.

Encouraged, Nicole asked if they would like to participate in her photo project. Their mom agreed and we all stepped back as they modeled. They were really the most perfect thing that could have happened to the photo shoot. They hugged the stuffed animals, ate the crackers, drank the lemonade, and tried on our "big girl" shoes (just the girl did that last one). Their mom got into it too, encouraging them to not look at the camera and just act normal.

After a few minutes, Nicole had about 30 pictures. We thanked the cute little family, packed up our tea party, and went off to find more photo opportunities.

A bench swing, a fountain, and some gardens later, we found a beautiful manmade waterfall and began photographing in earnest. I had slowly made my way to the top of the waterfall and was about to come back down, having enough pictures, when Nicole got the brilliant idea of handing up my red Steve Madden heels so I could hold them artistically as I came down the rocks.

Of course I agreed that that would be super-artistic. Anyway, what could possibly go wrong?

As it turns out, it was a terrible idea. But it made for a great memory when I threw one of the shoes down, watched as it bounced twice, moving farther away from the waterfall both times, and then rocketed backwards, flung into the pond water by some inexplicable force. (Super-funny, God. I know that wasn't physically probable.)

My expression went from shocked to horrified to panicked as I watched it drift towards the center of the pond, and when it tipped backwards and started to sink, I couldn't think of anything to do but laugh. Nicole ran off to find a stick to pull it out and came back with a stout little log. Not helpful.

I may have deconstructed the manmade dam a little bit when I took a longer stick that I had to hold with both hands off the top of it, but I needed my shoe, so don't judge.

At first it tried to float every time I got close to the shoe, which by this time had settled comfortably on the duck-poopy, algae-y bottom of the pond, and we had to force it under the water with both hands to even touch the shoe. I think it eventually got waterlogged, making it easier to pull the shoe closer to us.

When it was close enough, I found a nice skinny branch that kind of curved at the end, snapped it off it's tree, and enlisted it's help as a fishing hook. While Nicole held the shoe in place with the fatter stick from the dam, I carefully hooked the new stick through the peep toe of the shoe and pulled it to the surface, where we all (the shoe included) were able to breathe a sigh of relief.

We attracted quite an audience throughout this whole ordeal.

Unhelpful Audience Members:

1. the duck. Who knows where he went.

2. the family that leaned against the rocks and watched us with a faint trace of amusement ontheir faces and then hurried away when we asked if any of them could swim.

3. the couple that was happily making out behind some trees until we disturbed them with our cries of dismay and they walked out of the trees, looked at us in puzzlement for a minute, and then walked out, hands intertwined and unavailable to help us.

4. the awkward couple whose romantic pictures we interrupted when we arrived at the waterfall. They made their way back over, saw our plight, and walked away, smirking at the karma.

5. Vince Eisinger, an old family friend from our childhood who I didn't recognize, but Nicole did. He randomly walked up at the end with his wife and some of his in-laws. He tried to be helpful but by then we had it under control.

Moral of the story? Throwing your shoes around water is never a good idea. Especially if you forgot to thank God for the children he sent your way to use in a photo project for your humanities class.