I-I-I-I Work Out

Sometimes, your boyfriend really wants you to work out with him. And while you might think that this is working out,

the boyfriend might not agree. Which is unfortunate, because his version of working out might be a 45-minute military training thing that he invented that includes push-ups, planks, jumping jacks, crunches, squats, arm circles for AN HOUR.....and sundry other things.

Working out so hardcore is actually kind of fun if you are motivated by your goal to get Venus dimples by the time you go back on-track. But no matter how fun it is, it can also be extremely tiring.

Which is why, sometimes, your roommate ends up taking this picture:

and sending it to you the next day.

After all, who doesn't love a good post-workout nap on the perfectly clean carpet of their 6-girl college apartment?

Life Lessons** Learned Snowboarding*

*And by "snowboarding" I mean hike-boarding.

**And by "Life Lessons" I mean musings that may not be true in every case, but are true in my experience.

Anyway, that's what I was doing this past Saturday: hike-boarding and musing. And here are the conclusions I came to that I would like to share with you:

1. Snowboarding is an activity which requires intense planning. If you were planning to go at 8:00 a.m., you might find yourself leaving Provo at 11:00 a.m. And if you are planning on going with someone who doesn't want to leave at 8:00 a.m. like you do, because that is too butt-early, you can definitely plan on leaving at 11:00 a.m. like she wants to.

2. The best way to get excited about snowboarding, when you are feeling apprehensive, is to borrow your roommate's blue snowboard and your other roommate's blue coat. That way you will match and you will want to take pictures to document it.

3. Sometimes, girls who were not even terrible at snowboarding the one time they went 4 years ago are horrifyingly awful at hike-boarding. It's a whole different beast, kids.

4. And when I say "horrifyingly awful," I mean that sometimes, those girls will face-plant within 10 seconds of the first attempt down the mountain.

5. You might be tempted, when this happens, to laugh at her and say "Hey, Santa Claus!" because she is sitting there with her board in the air and her face all covered in snow and so it would seem appropriate to say such a thing.

6. But it might not be as appropriate as you think.

7. Sometimes, "You're a hard worker and maybe someday you'll be good at snowboarding" is as good of a pep talk as you are going to get.

8.  Sometimes, boys who are really bad at teaching snowboarding and giving encouraging pep talks are really good at other things, so it's whatever.

9. When you're all the way down the mountain and someone else is all the way at the top, you might think that that is a perfect opportunity for you to pee. But no matter what you think, you're not being all that sneaky. 

9b. On that same note, you might think that the snow you are sitting on has never been touched by another creature, never spoiled by human or animal. But you could be wrong, because your snowboarding instructor might have peed on in just a week earlier in an effort to pack down the powder into a useable jump. And his roommate might have peed on it too. Which is why you shouldn't eat snow, no matter how safe you might think it is.

10. You shouldn't pick a snowball fight with someone who is stronger and faster and more experienced in the snow than you are. Because you will lose.

11. Even if you are about as close to being Shaun White as salsa is to being a flying tomato, snowboarding can be great fun. And you might be really glad you went.

My Two Boyfriends

Every week, we have 5 word wall words. This week's words are didn't, too, two, they're, and have.

"Who can use this word in a sentence?" I asked, pointing to "two."

The answers included, but were not limited to:

"I have two sisters."

"I have two dogs."

"My sister is two years old."

"It is two o'clock."

"Miss Connor has two boyfriends."

I decided it was time to get to the bottom of this, once and for all.

"I do not have two boyfriends!" I said. My class insisted that I do and brought up the names of two boys that I mayyy have mentioned in class. I clarified that neither of those boys were my boyfriend, which my class did not like.

"You need one, Miss Connor," they huffed, and then everyone started calling out which of the two boys they preferred.

"Why do you want me to have a boyfriend?" I asked. "How would that be good for you?"

"Because," they replied. "Then he could come and be our substitute, if you were gone."

And thus the truth came out. They don't really care if I have a boyfriend. They just care if they have a good substitute.

"What if I had a boyfriend and he came and was your substitute, and he was grouchy? Or not that fun?" I asked.

"Oh, then we'd tell you," they assured me, "so you can get rid of him. So you can say, peace out, mister!"

When you think about it, the 2nd grade litmus test of character might actually be very helpful. 

An Attainable Boyfriend

In class today, we talked about making SMART goals: goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound. When we were talking about attainable goals, I had my students think of one goal that was attainable and one that was not. Then I called on a few students who shared one of their goals and we showed (with thumbs up or down) whether that goal was attainable or not. Here were some of their responses:

"Breaking the sun in one second!" (Unattainable)

"Reading 200 books that are 20 pages each in one month!" (Mixed reviews)

"Do a front flip on a snowboard!" (Attainable for some of my students, but not others)


"My sister made a goal to make out - I mean, uh, sorry. Not make - anyway. She made a goal that she was going to get a boyfriend and then she was going to make a cloth out of all of her clothes for him. But then she didn't get a boyfriend so she could do it. So I guess her goal was unattainable?" (I was confused by this one. I don't even think we voted, I just kind of said "Uhhhh, haha, that's funny...." and then moved on.)


"Ride a mile on my bike!" (Attainable)

"Break the moon in ten seconds!" (Unattainable)

"Get Miss Connor a boyfriend!"

"Now hold on," I said. "We're not making goals for me, we're making goals for you. These are goals that YOU are going to work on, not that someone else is going to work on."

"Yeah but Miss Connor!" my students protested. "I am going to work on it! We can work on that!"

"How are you going to work on it?" I asked, a little afraid.

"Set you up on blind dates, tell you if a boy is a good one, or like, if you shouldn't have one be your boyfriend, find a boy you will like and bring him to class one day...." The ideas just kept coming.

"Okay," I said, trying to get back to the lesson. "Fine. Is this an attainable goal? Show me with your thumb what you think."

The thumbs shot up. Well....most of them did. Thanks, cuties.

My class is a little one-track-minded, I think.

But at least they are looking out for me, right?