My Two Boyfriends

Every week, we have 5 word wall words. This week's words are didn't, too, two, they're, and have.

"Who can use this word in a sentence?" I asked, pointing to "two."

The answers included, but were not limited to:

"I have two sisters."

"I have two dogs."

"My sister is two years old."

"It is two o'clock."

"Miss Connor has two boyfriends."

I decided it was time to get to the bottom of this, once and for all.

"I do not have two boyfriends!" I said. My class insisted that I do and brought up the names of two boys that I mayyy have mentioned in class. I clarified that neither of those boys were my boyfriend, which my class did not like.

"You need one, Miss Connor," they huffed, and then everyone started calling out which of the two boys they preferred.

"Why do you want me to have a boyfriend?" I asked. "How would that be good for you?"

"Because," they replied. "Then he could come and be our substitute, if you were gone."

And thus the truth came out. They don't really care if I have a boyfriend. They just care if they have a good substitute.

"What if I had a boyfriend and he came and was your substitute, and he was grouchy? Or not that fun?" I asked.

"Oh, then we'd tell you," they assured me, "so you can get rid of him. So you can say, peace out, mister!"

When you think about it, the 2nd grade litmus test of character might actually be very helpful.