**And by "Life Lessons" I mean musings that may not be true in every case, but are true in my experience.
Anyway, that's what I was doing this past Saturday: hike-boarding and musing. And here are the conclusions I came to that I would like to share with you:
1. Snowboarding is an activity which requires intense planning. If you were planning to go at 8:00 a.m., you might find yourself leaving Provo at 11:00 a.m. And if you are planning on going with someone who doesn't want to leave at 8:00 a.m. like you do, because that is too butt-early, you can definitely plan on leaving at 11:00 a.m. like she wants to.
2. The best way to get excited about snowboarding, when you are feeling apprehensive, is to borrow your roommate's blue snowboard and your other roommate's blue coat. That way you will match and you will want to take pictures to document it.
3. Sometimes, girls who were not even terrible at snowboarding the one time they went 4 years ago are horrifyingly awful at hike-boarding. It's a whole different beast, kids.
4. And when I say "horrifyingly awful," I mean that sometimes, those girls will face-plant within 10 seconds of the first attempt down the mountain.
5. You might be tempted, when this happens, to laugh at her and say "Hey, Santa Claus!" because she is sitting there with her board in the air and her face all covered in snow and so it would seem appropriate to say such a thing.
6. But it might not be as appropriate as you think.
7. Sometimes, "You're a hard worker and maybe someday you'll be good at snowboarding" is as good of a pep talk as you are going to get.
8. Sometimes, boys who are really bad at teaching snowboarding and giving encouraging pep talks are really good at other things, so it's whatever.
9. When you're all the way down the mountain and someone else is all the way at the top, you might think that that is a perfect opportunity for you to pee. But no matter what you think, you're not being all that sneaky.
9b. On that same note, you might think that the snow you are sitting on has never been touched by another creature, never spoiled by human or animal. But you could be wrong, because your snowboarding instructor might have peed on in just a week earlier in an effort to pack down the powder into a useable jump. And his roommate might have peed on it too. Which is why you shouldn't eat snow, no matter how safe you might think it is.
10. You shouldn't pick a snowball fight with someone who is stronger and faster and more experienced in the snow than you are. Because you will lose.
11. Even if you are about as close to being Shaun White as salsa is to being a flying tomato, snowboarding can be great fun. And you might be really glad you went.
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