...and world peace.

So, I just counted, and I have lived with 26 different roommates so far. If you want to count my two weeks at EFY over the summer, I've lived with 29. And I have loved every one of them - some much less than others, but still.

Anyway, in all my vast experience, I am happy to announce that I have discovered the key to peace, love, and happiness in the roommate-dom.

The key is: communication. The rules of communication are:

1. Do it. Say things like, "How was your day?"

Freshman year

2. Communicate about boys. That means you
a. tell your roommates who you like, and
b. when that boy kisses you, you tell your roommates.
c. And you show with your hands what happened.
d. And you put ice cream in the freezer about it.
e. And if a boy ever sends you a txt that just says: "Put ya up against the wall!," you better believe you are sharing that with your roommates.

Fall / Winter 2009 - 2010

3. Say things that you like about each other. That doesn't mean you have to say "I liked when your legs were on me last night," necessarily, but you get the idea.

Fall 2010

4. Along with that, you communicate what you like about your roommates to other people. So if your roommate is looking particularly foxy, feel free to inform her boyfriend.

Winter 2011

5. Say things that you don't like about each other. This might sound counter-intuitive, but if you don't say things that are bugging you, those things will just build up and fester in your brain, and pretty soon you will be following rules #3 and #4 through gritted teeth. Here are some examples of successful inter-apartment communications of flaws:
 
"Could you talk like a mute person please?"

"Who left this rib bone on the counter, HEATHER?"

"No offense but you're cheap."

"No offense, but if you use that baby voice one more time, I'm going to kill you."

Fall 2011

 H: I like that shirt, I've never seen you wear it!
K: That's what Shannon said, but I've worn it many times.
H: Really? I'm pretty sure you've never worn it....
K: I've worn it a lot!
H: Maybe in high school, when we didn't know you. *Pause* Or in middle school, when it would have been cool.....

A: Do my eyes look pretty -
C: NO!
A: ....Oh. Okay. I'll just take that as....constructive criticism?

"You have to be careful that you don't get diabetes."

Present day

C: I am going to get obese.
K: And then you will lose a friend.

"Right after I called on you to pray, I regretted it instantly."

K: I don't want to be rude, but will you please not sing along? I just....it's my first time watching and I want to understand what they're saying.
H: You can't understand me singing?
K: No....I can....I just, can you not sing?

I could go on. But I think you get the point: my roommates and I are happy, and it is all because of our great communication.

Other factors contributing to our happiness:

- one roommate randomly brings home Jamba Juice on occasion
- we feed each other numminess
- we have pillow talk
- we stand in parking spaces for each other
- we go to the temple together
- we have roommate photo shoots
- we laugh at each other
- we write indecent news on the white board
- we make pig noises at each other to prevent obesity
- we run stairs together
- we do each other's homeworks
- well, not really....
- we do hardcore parkour
- we dress up together
- we do each other's hairs and nails

but these are just some fun little things that you can do on the side, once you've mastered communication. It's not so hard. It's just a matter of saying what you think :) 

Happy communicating!

Something I'm Grateful For

As this Thanksgiving approaches, I've been thinking a little about what I am grateful for. I'll probably come back in a little bit to add more to the list, but for now I just want to talk about one specific thing I am grateful for.

I first thought of this when I read a sign at Jump On It that said, "Please do not jump if your weight is over 230 lbs." Then, I thought it again as I was galloping across the gym for my exercise science class. I thought of it again as I sprinted across campus after my test today....only to watch as the bus pulled away from the stop and charged down the road. And I thought of it againn when I ordered one solitary soft taco from Taco Bell (because I had missed the bus so what else was I going to do?) and watched as the person before me in line ordered four soft tacos, the bell grande nachos, a large fountain drink, and two bean burritos and plodded off to their table to eat a lonely meal, complete with enough calories to sustain me for a month.

So here's what I realized, in all these situations: I am incredibly grateful that I am not 300 lbs.

I don't mean, I'm grateful that I'm a normal weight. I mean, I am grateful that I am not ridiculously obese.

Think about it. How discouraging would that be to wake up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and think, "Man. I really need to lose....200lbs. Yep, better get on that." I would absolutely hate my life. And this is me, Heather Connor, exercise video enthusiast. I like working out just as much as the next person. But if I had to set goals, and go on diets, and arrange my schedule so that I could work out, I think that would suck all the fun out of it. I would stay inside and do Richard Simmons videos until I passed out. And thennn you go and eat something, and there goes all that hard work. So that sucks. Plus there's all the costs you incur with health insurance because you are so fat that no one wants to cover you.

So as I thought about that, and felt more and grateful by the second, I realized something else. People don't just wake up one morning and find that they have gained 160 lbs. No one is thatt surprised when they see themselves in the mirror. It happens gradually, because people eat burgers and ice cream every other second and take the elevator instead of the stairs and watch TV when they could be watching Lena Pareira do the Bikini Body workout. I understand that some people do not have the best genes or the best metabolism. But their weight still increases gradually. If I woke up every morning for an extended period of time to find that my mattress was getting closer and closer to the ground because of the force of my sheer mass, I WOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

And it's not like you can just, forget about your condition. You carry your fat around with you, for goodness' sake. You don't order a Big Mac, happily chow down, and then go home and see your fat sitting in the corner right where you left it. You don't buy a box of Twinkies only to find yourself smacking your forehead as you drive away because you suddenly remembered, "Oh....aren't I fat? Well dang it. I guess Twinkies might not have been the best choice." So it's certainly a choice you make. What is it going to be, water aerobics and Weight Watchers, or burgers and buttprints on the couch? You just have to choose. And, as is often the case, prevention is generally going to be easier than repentance.

All I'm saying is, I am grateful that I'm not 300 lbs. Or even 250 lbs. That would just be depressing.