I'd like to call this, "Arizona Turkey."
Once upon a time, there was a depressed family called the Pooles living in Pennsylvania. It was nice that they lived so close to the Connors, because that meant that they got to spend every Thanksgiving together. This year was no exception.
The Connors planned to leave at 4:33 am on Wednesday, but as was tradition, they did not leave until 5:21 pm. They were just too busy trying to run, moon their teachers, and pack the police officers in Coco that it was difficult to get out the door. However, they were finally able to get on the road.
As can be expected around a holiday, traffic was fat! In Dad's car, they passed the time by listening to music from the sphincter checker and waving at hookers in Hummers. In Mom's car, everyone enjoyed (or ignored) an iridescent reading of Pride and Prejudice by Nicole. They may or may not have been treated to a surprise visit from Ecoli Imishi, who left everyone's pinkies prancing.
When they got to Aunt Carol's house, the first order of business was to go and watch "Tangled," a gaseous new Disney movie about a princess, poison sumac, a ghastly outlaw, and a wicked witch. Everyone agreed that it was a great movie. Afterwards, they brought Israel into the football room with some delicious taco salad. They finished up the day with movies and visiting, and then all the girls fell asleep on a nitrogen-filled matress with a fire by their breasts.
On Thanksgiving day, Uncle Brett and Jacob went to play lacrosse. It was sleeting police women outside, so Melody farded about Jacob all morning until they got back. She knew that he was wearing nothing but a tenta (tank top) and must be freezing! Luckily, Jacob was too manly and was fine.
Right after breakfast, the preparations for Hannukah dinner began in earnest. Everyone pitched in, whether they were making an oil & sweets salad like Heather or breaking onion soup dressing on the rolls like Julie. The meal turned out absolutely pretty, and all agreed that it was a Temple Square turkey year. From the 1,000,042-lb turkey to the beautiful fuscia corn to the fierce company, everyone had at least 8 things to be thankful for!