Just a Little Rain

Last Saturday, something very exciting happened for BYU. We won the football game! It was a pretty crazy game and lots of my friends posted all up on Facebook about how fun it was to be there, even though they got soaked. (It started raining during the game.)

And ALL I have to say to them is, my goodness, you do look wet, mind if I share my story now?

Because you see, Stephen and I really like going on hikes. Utah has some beautiful hikes, it's a fun way to be outdoorsy and in shape without going running, and it doesn't hurt that we got engaged on a hike, either. So when he asked me on Saturday afternoon if I wanted to go on a hike, I said yes. 

We were on our way to hike Squaw Peak when Julie called. Nicole's mission call had arrived! She would be opening it in 3 hours. 

"We're not afraid," we declared boldly. After all, the sun was shining. It was barely 75*, perfect weather for hiking, and we were two in-shape (ish) people who could certainly make it to the top of a mountain and back down in 2 1/2 hours. Armed with our phones and water bottles, we set off up the mountain. 

Our hikes typically go something like this: 

Phase 1 - Optimism in togetherness

Phase 2 - Optimism in individual hiking

Phase 3 - Pessimism in individual hiking

Phase 4 - Elation in reaching the top 

Phase 5 - Energy and renewed optimism in the downhill slope

Phase 6 - Self congratulations in our completion of the hike.

Allow me to offer a more detailed description of these phases, in terms of this particular hike.

PHASE ONE

We hike hand-in-hand. We are both chatty and smiley. We are enjoying nature. We are enjoying one another's company. It's so much fun! Hiking is so fun! Whoa endorphins! I feel excited, optimistic, and a little bit euphoric.

PHASE TWO

The hiking is still fun. I am still appreciating nature and enjoying myself. I am no longer enjoying Stephen's company, though, because he has decided to plow ahead. I sometimes catch a glimpse of his red shirt through the trees. Sometimes he pauses and waits for me to almost catch up before taking off again. I am okay with this. Britney Spears joins me on my own personal hike. 

PHASE THREE

"The hiking is still fun," I insist to myself as Selena Gomez starts to serenade me. "The hiking is still fun," Stephen insists to himself as he stops to wait for me again. I vaguely remember a time in this very same hike where I tried to keep up with him. It's a vague memory because at this point, I have decided that if Stephen is going to be 8 miles ahead of me, I might as well take a break whenever I feel like it. So I do. And since I don't love running up mountains, but I do love walking up mountains, the hike starts to really be enjoyable again. 

It was at this point in the hike when we made a new friend - a rattlesnake!

He rattled at us because we were on his turf. Then he slowly inched off the trail to let us pass. We slowly inched around him. Stephen asked if my phone had reception, so I called my dad to check that it did. My dad was barely able to hear me, but he did hear me tell him that we saw a rattlesnake and we were on a hike. I hung up, put my phone back in my pocket, and we continued on our merry way. 

PHASE FOUR

"It looks like it's going to rain," Stephen said, looking at the sky.

"Maybe we should head back?" I said. "We can't miss Nicole's mission call opening!"

"We'll be fine," Stephen said. "We're so close to the top. We seriously will be there in like another 4 minutes. And then it won't take long at all to get down." 

Famous last words, hissed our friend the rattlesnake. We didn't listen to him. We just kept going. 

Stephen was right; it really didn't take us long to get to the top. When you hike Squaw Peak, you climb up the mountain until you get to this meadow platform place, and then when you walk to the edge of the meadow, you get this awesome view, supposedly. 

I say supposedly because we actually didn't walk to the edge of the meadow and look out off of Squaw Peak and soak in the awesome view. Instead, we got to the meadow and were suddenly enveloped in a cloud.

The cloud swirled around us, spewing water on the meadow and picking up dead leaves to fling at us as we tried to take a picture of ourselves.

We took some pictures of the cloud, but I guess it was a little photo-shy, because instead of smiling for the picture, he started to rain. 

PHASE FIVE

We started down the mountain, hoping the trees would offer some cover, but they didn't. We were literally soaked in a matter of minutes. It was kind of like being at a water park, except you didn't dress for success, so you're wearing normal people clothes inside of a water park. Also, that's not a very good analogy, because water parks are typically pretty fun. And you are trying to get wet. And you on purpose did not bring your phone to any of the fun watery places. 

I think for this hike I really need to split Phase Five into some sub-phases. 

Phase 5A - Panic and adrenaline in running down the mountain

In which I was still trying not to get wet or muddy, and adrenaline was coursing through my veins, and I believed (erroneously) that the trees would provide some protection from the elements. 

Phase 5B - Anger at Stephen and sassiness in running down the mountain

In which I started to blame Stephen for this predicament, and he started laughing at me and apologizing, and I realized it was futile to try to not get wet, and I also realized that my phone was soaked and would probably be no help if either of us got struck by lightning or bitten by the rattlesnake from earlier or smashed by a falling tree, and I started sassing Stephen and this conversation happened:

 Him: Heather, I want to go ahead and apologize....

Me: Shut up. Don't talk to me.

Him: Huh?

Me: I'm s-so, m-mad at you right n-now.   

Was it really his fault? Let's be honest, no....but I was feeling a teeny bit sorry for myself and believed that I deserved to have someone to blame for the whole predicament. 

Phase 5C - The First Fall

I did not feel as enthusiastic as Stephen did about the battle we were fighting against the mud, wind, and rain. I didn't love that my socks were completely soaked. I wasn't thrilled that my shoes would probably never be the same. I was sad to see my phone looking like it took a dip in the Great Salt Lake. I dreaded looking in a mirror and seeing the mess that all of the rain had made of my face. 

Stephen, on the other hand, was as happy as a duck. He was a little nervous about the rattlesnake, and a little nervous about the possibility of electrocution, and also a little nervous about flash flooding. (He kept saying things like, "Heather, I don't want to rush you, but we kinda need to hurry it up because in weather like this there's danger of flash-flooding, and I really don't want us to get caught in a flash flood....") Other than that, though, he was loving the adventure and already planning how he would tell this story later on. 

But all of that enthusiasm evaporated pretty quickly when his feet slipped out from under him and he landed with a splat in the mud. "Okay. This isn't fun anymore," he said. Being the good wife that I am, I took a picture. 

Phase 5D - The Second Fall

I was definitely trying to be careful more than speedy in our descent - hence, the frequent (very kind) reminders from Stephen about flash floods. It's hard to be careful when you are essentially walking down a muddy slide, but I was grabbing onto trees and plants whenever possible to steady myself a little bit.

At one point, I was holding onto a tree with both hands and trying to step around it to avoid a huge mud puddle, when one of my feet slipped. In my head, I knew it was game over, but I couldn't go down without a fight! My hands clenched the tree trunk. My feet started running, trying to get a grip anywhere on the muddy bank. 

And then, I fell, still hanging onto the tree. My whole right side splooshed into some mud. My elbow smacked against the root of the traitorous tree I had thought would save me. 

Stephen ran up the trail and picked me up. "Are you okay?" he asked. His enthusiasm was back. Somehow, seeing someone else fall does that to you. It's okay. I understand. I felt the same way when he fell. 

I kind of wanted to cry as we stood there in the torrential downpour, and Stephen laughed and wiped my hands off, one finger at a time, on his shirt. But then I also kind of wanted to laugh. And I also wanted to take a picture. So I guess both of our enthusiasms were back, and we continued down the trail. 

Phase 5E - The Return of Enthusiasm and also some Apathy

In which we realized we were already muddy and drenched and we really didn't care about trying to stay clean or dry, and all we cared about was getting down off the mountain. 

Phase 5F -  The Last Leg

In which we were finally out of the woods - not out of the rain, but out of the woods, and walking on flat ground towards the parking lot, still getting pelted with rain. We saw an old man with an umbrella walking towards the mountain. I don't know why. I didn't ask. I hope we weren't the last people he would ever see in his life....

Phase 5G - The Drive Home

In which we tore up a cardboard box in the trunk of my car to put on the seats so we didn't ruin them, and also in which we realized that neither of our phones were working, and we had barely 15 minutes before Nicole opened her mission call. 

PHASE SIX

This is when we are usually congratulating ourselves heartily for a hike well done. This time, we were blaring the heat and discussing all the things we I wanted to be eating right then: a Krispy Kreme donut, hot chocolate, a funnel cake, Awful Waffle. I wanted everything. I was convinced that all of those things were essential to my happiness.

We didn't have time to stop by our house, so we just showed up at Kelly and Dahl's house. I'm sure they wondered why a homeless hag and her husband were knocking on their door, but when they recognized us, they let us in and gave us a towel to shiver in while Nicole continued on with her mission call opening. Yes. She had already started. I guess we all know where Stephen and I belong on the totem pole....

Anyway, Nicole is going to Everett, Washington! She will be fabulous. I can't wait for her to write home about all the Twihards she brings to the gospel :)

Blogworthy, Nonetheless

I haven't blogged a whole lot this month. But here are some things that have happened that have been blogworthy even if they haven't gotten their own entry:

- I got power nails! I got them for my parent-teacher conferences, and I got a free appetizer and a discount at Chili's on girls' night, and then I didn't have any bad parent teacher conferences, so I guess they did their job.

- And speaking of that free food at Chili's and parent teacher conferences, I would also just like to announce that my PTA fed us dinner both nights of conferences. And you know that made it all worth it to me. 

- McKen Doll and I went to our ward's FHE for the sole purpose of feeding ourselves, because we heard there would be pizza there. There was, and for some reason, it was the best pizza I have ever inhaled. (Because that's absolutely what I did with it.) At first I got two slices, because I was thinking I would eat one and save the other one for my lunch the next day. But then I accidentally ate both of them.


- And then Kenna and I accidentally each took two more slices on our way out the door.

- There was also that one time when I was so exhausted when I got home, so I was taking a nap, and then my roommate woke me up to tell me that there was free Zupa's at the clubhouse (?!?!?!) so I zombied my way over to the clubhouse and helped myself.

- I got some presents for the ladies I teach with. As a true daughter of my mother, I gave them all nail polish and toe separators with a tag that said "You have "nailed" teaching! It's great to work with you. Thanks for helping me "polish" my teaching!"


- One of the nail polishes was a really great color. So I accidentally painted my nails with it.


- And then the next day at school, I accidentally improved on my manicure by putting glitter on some of my nails. While I was at school. And while my kids were also at school with me.

- Then this boy saw my nails and, remembering when I had power nails the time before, said "That's so much power in your nails!"


- There was that one day (yesterday) when my desk looked like this:

And that was justttt fine.

- We had our Christmas party in class, and the room moms who put it all together threw away all the leftover frosting. I'm talking like, 5 containers that were still halfway full. So I pulled them out of the trashcan and then this conversation happened:


Student: Miss Connor, what are you doing?
Me: Hmmm? Oh I'm.....there are box tops of these.
S: Oh! We need to cut those off!
Me: Yeah! Can I borrow your scissors?


After I had cut them all off....


Student: Now you're going to throw them back away?
Me: What? These don't go in the trash.
S: Oh....I thought they were thrown away.
Me: Oh, no! Look how much is left. There's still a ton.


And you better believe I am keeping those.

- Also can I just say that the room moms in charge brought in sugar cookies and root beer floats for the snack after we were done making the gingerbread houses. I was so nervous, you guys. I just thought, "There is no way that my children are going to listen to a word I say for the rest of the day." But I was wrong! They did. I just love my kids so much. They are the nicest little class and I never want them to go to 3rd grade.

- I got an email from my principal. She informed me (and the rest of the teachers) that there are some mice in our school. In the first grade hallway, to be exact. I was pretty on edge after I heard that....and this poster in the front office only made me feel a little bit better:

- I went to my ward's talent show. It was.....something else. I mean wow.

- My school does something called "Battle of the Books" every year," where you read about 5 books and then you have the chance to sit on stage and do sort of a game show thing with buzzers and questions about the books. Anyway, to kick it off, they had 5 teachers participate and show how it's done. The announcer lady said: "Okay! So whoever wins is going to be crowned the queen of the book challenge! And she will receive a crown and a cake!"

My head snapped up. "What??" I whispered to my intern friend. "The winner gets a cake? I didn't know that! I might have participated if I had known I could get a cake!" She kind of just gave me a weird smile and we went back to watching the battle.


In the end, I watched with envy as they placed the crown on Melissa's head....then with confusion as they draped the cape around her shoulders. No one came forward with a cake. At this point it occurred to me that maybe, the winner gets a crown and a CAPE, and maybe I might have to work on my listening skills.


- The North Pole wrote a letter to my class.

I told my kids that if they were super-duper good, we could probably help Santa out. Sorry if you think this was a little manipulative of me....but it worked pretty well :)

- I lost my voice. Teaching is greattt when you have no voice. This conversation happened:

Student: Miss Connor! One time, I lost my voice.
Me: Oh yeah? Where did it go?
S: I think my stomach? Actually no. It went on vacation.
Me: Well how long was it on vacation for?
S: Like, a week.
Me: A week!? I can't wait a week for my voice to come back!
S: Maybe it will come back sooner. Like, maybe your voice can't afford as nice as of a vacation as my voice did.


- After I lost my voice, I went to this Christmas singalong thing that Larry H. Miller does every year up in Salt Lake. It was sooo cool! I just felt a little depressed that I couldn't sing along.

- That depression was alleviated because someone handed me a donut right when I walked in.

- I got lost on my way home from Walmart.

- Then, the next day, I got lost on my way home from the payroll office. Where I happened to be because apparently I never got paid in September! So I had to go and pick up my check. You know that's a merry Christmas. 


- The Jew came to town for a day! She helped out in my classroom all day. My class loves Miss Julie, and thankfully, she doesn't try to distract them....unlike SOME people who visit! You know who you are. (Not you, Aunt Carol. It's not you either, Mom.)



I think we're all caught up now....now that I'm already back in Maryland. Maryland, my merry land. It's good to be home :)

Lumberjacks

Some people put up fake Christmas trees. Some people put up real Christmas trees. I'm not saying that one is better than the other.....but let's be honest. Real Christmas trees are better than fake ones.

Some people buy real Christmas trees from a lot. Some people chop down their real Christmas tree. Again, I'm not saying that chopping down your own Christmas tree makes you better than other people. But it might. 

This weekend, Kailyn, Caitlin, the Jew, Erin and I ventured over to the far corners of Utah:

That's right. We went to Richfield, Utah.

One-stoplight-town, Farmville, home-on-the-range, we're-from-the-country-and-we-like-it-that-way, Richfield. We made a brief stop at this place:

"Are we going there someday?" "I don't know, you tell me...."

Once we were done there, nothing could stop us from getting to Kailyn's beautiful home! Except for the one stop sign in the town. We met her family, talked up one of our friends to make a good impression on Kailyn's family in his absence, and then took a nap, all of us piled on Kailyn's bed.

When we woke up, something was different. We didn't have facial hair or rough, callused hands, but an unmistakable change had taken place: our nap had turned us into lumberjacks.

There were about 8 trucks in the driveway - Kailyn's family believes in trucks - so we all climbed in and struck out for the mountains.  First, the trucks did the hiking. Eventually, we had to get out and do the rest of the hiking ourselves. K-Mom gave us one piece of advice: "When you bring the tree back to the truck, you'll want to carry it down the mountain, not up the mountain. So go uphill to find it."

Our tree was living in a little patch of ankle-deep snow when we found him. He smiled at us with his soft, sage-colored needles, and even though he was a little bit balding on one side, we felt in our hearts that he was our tree. (Or maybe it was just getting dark and we weren't sure how long it was going to take to chop him down or if we would be able to find another one if we left him.....)

Lumberjacks have riveting conversations while they chop. Here's what ours sounded like:

"Hold that pose, can you just wait there a second?" "Wait the lighting was weird! Take it again." "Why do I have an alien head?" "Now you two together. Smile!" "Are you still holding onto the tree? Because it's probably going to fall soon...." "Did you ever txt him back?" "Perfect! I love this one!" "Can that please not go on facebook?"

In case you couldn't tell, at least 3 of us were on our phones or cameras at any given time.

Sawing down the tree was one thing; getting it down the mountain was a whole 'nother task. A mother of a nother task. Gravity swung on by to help us, but it still took all of our Kailyn and Caitlin and Erin's strength and muscles to bring it to Kailyn's brothers. Then it took about 1/18th of their strength to hoist it off the ground and carry it on their shoulders to the truck.

So what did I learn from all this?

Sometimes, boys are like trees. And you have to climb a mountain to find one that you like. And sometimes, he is a little bit balding on one side, or his needles are a little poiky, or he's stuck in the spot where you found him, on account of his roots or whatever.

Sometimes, you need your friends to help you saw down the tree that you want. Wing-girls are so necessary.

Sometimes, you kind of love the tree the moment you see it. But then you still have to cut it down and find a way to get it back to your apartment.

Sometimes, trees look a lot taller when they are laying in the snow than they do when they are standing in the snow. Sometimes, you notice the same thing about boys.

Sometimes, you see all these people coming down the mountain with their trees, and you think how easy it must have been for them to just pluck their tree from the side of the road. But sometimes you're wrong, because probably they didn't pluck their tree or their boy from the side of the road, and probably they had to go through the same process that you did.

Sometimes, there's a tree that really freakin' wants to be your tree, but he takes his sweet time coming down the mountain and puts up such a fuss about it that you almost leave him there on the dead log that he's hanging onto. But then you don't, because he really is the most beautiful tree you've ever seen, and besides that he is really good company, and you like it when he txts you and comes over and even when he eats your food, so whatever. You'll drag him down the mountain even if it kills annoys you, because let's be honest: the chances that he'll end up flying off the truck on the way back to Provo are looking pretty slim, and you honestly believe that one day he will look beautiful, all decked out in lights and ornaments and popcorn in your apartment, and you'll forget about the sap and the splinters and the bruises, and it will all be worth your stupid day month as a lumberjack.

Here we are putting up our beautiful Teddy:

Cute bum, where ya from?

And here he is, all lit up and beautiful:

An Attitude of Gratitude

Of course, I am thankful for all the typical things: family, friends, food, the gospel, America, etc. Here's what I am thankful for besides those things:

- roommates who understand that my love languages are food and good parking spots

- boys who have 8-packs

- the Park City outlets

- that the one time I ran into an ex, he didn't know about it

- .....and he looked bad anyways

- 4-hour naps on Sunday - these are so essential to my happiness



- my sisters and their blogs

- the Draper temple

It is beautiful inside, seriously beautiful.

- that one time my mom dropped Crisco on Nicole's foot

- that other time when Nicole said, all nurturingly, "Jacob. When I was your age, I had e-coli." And Jacob replied, "What? Whose poop did you eat?"

- that time when Julie was squinting at the menu at Disney World and this employee came along and kindly handed her a menu in Spanish

- all the times when we have started singing at the table, quietly, and then Nicole has joined in, a little louder, so the rest of us have stopped singing, and my dad has looked up from his meal and gotten upset at Nicole

- the mental image I have in my head of Nicole in seminary

- Antoine Dodson....I know this was like 2 years ago but I still want to thank that guy for the hours of entertainment he has provided me with

- that I know how to make frittatas, lemon glaze, meatballs, parmesan broccoli, paper snowflakes, Hootenanny pancakes, and a plethora of other things

- that my roommates can make even more things

- that I don't have a unibrow

- Cassidy Jane Carbaby

- that one time when my dad started singing about a lemon tree at the dinner table

- that one of my students came in on Friday and gave me a piece of paper with a note that said: "Miss Connor you are the best teacher thanks for being my teacher see you after school!" and had a purple jolly rancher taped to it

- Owen Wilson

I don't know what it is, but I love him. And I am indeed thankful for him. 

Storm's a'Brewin'

So my cute famiglia is in Maryland, Dorothying it up with Sandy as I type. I've gotten emails from Amazon, Wells Fargo, and School's Out about it. And of course, there have been the countless Facebook statuses regarding the Frankenstorm. Apparently it's a big deal? (Please read that in a Despicable Me voice.)

People have been really sympathetic and concerned about it. They keep asking if my family got evacuated, if we still have power, if we're okay, etc. It's nice to know that so many people are concerned, but where I come from, rain is a good thing.

Rain means lightning, rain boots, and sitting with the lights off and staring out the window with my siblings. Rain means bright green grass, a happy garden, puddles and vapor rising from the ground. Rain means a slightly paranoid dad backing up all his computers and running around with a flashlight, just in case the power goes out. Really bad rain means no school and an excuse to sleep in. When it rains, we party.

In the old house, two houses down from the new house, we had a big window in the kitchen, with a sliding glass door and a railing so no one could fall out. There was a big thunderstorm, and even though it was past bedtime, there were three little girls sitting by that window. We each had on one of Dad's big t-shirts, and we sat with our knees tucked up in our shirts, looking out at the storm.

This isn't a picture from that storm, but this would be what we looked like.

We watched the swings on our swing-set sway back and forth, knocking into each other in the wind. Our turtle kiddie pool filled up with water, and we wondered if the giant tree would fall on us, but it never did.

I'm sure I wouldn't be writing this blog post if the tree had fallen on us. I'd be writing one called "Dear Sandy, I hate you and every other storm like you." Instead, I'm writing one called "Storm's a'Brewin'."

Enjoy Sandy, Murrlanders! And Virginians and Jersites and errbody else. I hope you like Easy Mac, good book, Blind Man Bluff kinda days as much as I do. May your laundry finish before the power goes out, and may your greatest trial continue to be the fear that you may not be able to access Facebook for a stint :)

So Busy up in Here

I don't know why I apparently have more time to blog when I am on-track than when I am off, but apparently I do. And now I have 5 minutes before I have to leave to go to Idawhat, but here's a blog on what I have been doing instead of blogging:

1. Sleeping in.

2. Napping.

3. Going to my friends' classes.

4. Grading and planning some stuff. I have to write that small because I really haven't been doing all that much of that. 

5. Convincing other people that they don't need to do their homework / study / go to bed early because playing with and / or feeding me is much more important. I am the worst. 

6. Going to Cornbelly's. What's that, you say? Wellllll just my [fourth] favorite place on Earth! After, you know, like Disney World, and the temple, and my house.....Pictures coming soon!

7. Going to a Halloween party all dressed up with the roommates!

Left to right: Minnie Mouse, Pocahontas, Tangled, Alice in Wonderland, Snow White

As you can see, the Jew joined us! She came to town this weekend and pretty soon, I will be venturing over to her hood for even more fun times :)

8. Eating at the Cannon Center with some studly biceps.

9. Consorting with famous authors. NBD (aka, VBD) but I shook hands with him and rode in a car with him and chatted with him and just, you know, spilled the Starbucks that I got just for hanging out with him on my new blue pants about it, but whatever. #famouspeoplepantsfail

10. Ate my heart out for the annual birthday lunch at Tucano's!

11. Re-discovered the Fall Waffle at the Awful Waffle.....why is this list almost entirely about food.....

12. Spent the night in Snowbird in this swanky little place that I'm obsessed with, with some roommates, a hot tub, some romantic music, and about 40 cookies.

13. Watched House at the End of the Street again. For the record, it is at least as scary in the drive-in as it is in the real people theater.

14. Watched Casper for the first time! Watching movies has just become my favorite thing recently.....totally not sure why, but yep. That's just what happens when you go off-track, kids.

15. Carved a punkin! You have to say it like that: punkin. Or else you basically hate Halloween.

16. Made about 5069 punkin seeds. And they are the most bomb-amazing punkin seeds you have ever tasted, ever.

Recipe:

1. Get all your seeds rinsed off.
2. Boil seeds in salt water (2 cups water for every 1/2 cup seeds, 1/2 tsp salt for every cup water).
3. Simmer for 10 minutes.
4. Drain.
6. Put olive oil on a cookie sheet. Spread it around. Put the seeds on top.
7. Sprinkle with lemon pepper seasoning and onion seasoning. And some more salt if you don't care about your cholesterol.
8. Bake at 400* for about 10 minutes. When you hear popping, they are getting close!
9. Show off your talents to all your friends who previously hated punkin seeds. Like me, until I was converted with this very recipe!

Peace out, Provo! Don't worry, I'll be back in time to fit in 2 more Halloween parties. Which is convenient, since I have 5 more costumes for this year that I haven't worn yet.

Sister Sleepovers: A Tutorial

Sarah, Julie, and I love having sister sleepovers whenever I'm home. Usually this means all of us crowding into Julie's queen-sized bed, fighting over the body pillow, whispering and elbowing each other until we finally fall asleep in odd positions that are entirely different than the ones we wake up in.

But last night, "sister sleepover" meant something entirely different. And now, for our tutorial:

How to have a Successful Sister Sleepover without getting the Usual Bruises

1. Have your brother go on a scout camp-out. When he gets home, have him air out his tent in the living room.

2. Get really excited when you see said tent in the living room.

3. Make s'mores! If you can't find any plain chocolate, special dark chocolate nuggets with almonds from your dad's secret stash in his office will do just as well. You just have to cut out the almonds.

4. Pose excitedly while preparing these s'mores. 

5. Pre-heat the oven to 400* while cutting the almonds out of the chocolates. When you are ready to put the s'mores in the oven, turn it from "Bake" to "Broil." 

6. If your s'mores look like the picture above, then they are perfect. Top them with another graham cracker. 

7. Eat them in your tent. Pose for more pictures!

8. Have a lovely night in the tent!

The charmed life

sometimes involves.....

- waking up, going outside, picking raspberries and blackberries, and eating them with your cereal.

- breaking world records in all Track and Field events after 2 hours of playing Kinect Sports with your sister.

- tackling your siblings in a concerted effort to get stronger.

- becoming addicted to the Big Bang Theory, simply because there is so much time around here.

- eating all the caramel in the world. Literally. ALL THE CARAMEL.

- saying, "Julie! / Joseph! / Jacob! / Sarah! How come.....you're so cute?" every time I see one of those cute people.

- becoming a pro at shooting a basketball backwards.

- narrowly avoiding vicious scams by people who don't live charmed lives like stupid Patricia J. Hall.

- listening to this song on a loop:

  

- following up every family prayer with 12 push-ups and 21 crunches (or however old you are).

- trying to tackle your brother only to bang your head on the wall.

- wondering, "but why is the jam gone?"

- laughing hysterically because Pluto isn't technically a planet.

- blasting this song every time it is on the radio and singing along with Baby Sister:

 

- going to Rita's whenever I feel like it, because it is just like 5 minutes away instead of 2000 miles away like it is when I'm in Utah....

- having friends over who cover your brother's eyes when an inappropriate part comes on in the movie you're watching.

- having brothers who cover your friend's eyes when an inappropriate part comes on in the movie you're watching.

- phrases like "Screw you, Tower of Babel!" coming up in scripture study.

- spending a morning watching Steve Irwin videos on YouTube with Baby Sister.

- stacking up significant fines on your library card and feeling really embarrassed about that since they just waived $18.40 in fines from the last time you checked something out (February of 2011).

- lunching with the Padre.

- hacking into my grandma's Facebook. getting nice posts on Facebook clearly written by my grandma who loves me.

Dating Advices

As many of you may remember from May, I have a brother who is a man. And this man is getting ready to go on his first date in a matter of days.

To prepare him, I asked several of my friends (all of whom are awesome daters, obviously) for advice. For any of my readers who are seeking dating advice, I have recorded the advices below. Enjoy :)

"Open the car door for your date. Tell her she looks nice. Treat her like a lady. Don't worry about having to be smooth. Be yourself, and if she doesn't like you for who you are then she isn't someone to ask out again. You should have no problem because from what I hear you are a stud. If the conversation is hard to keep then don't worry about forcing it, it should be easy to talk with her. If it isn't, move on and ask a new girl out because she wasn't for you. Good luck with everything and don't worry about kissing a girl right away." ~the infamous Steve Johnson

"A good date movie is anything she wants to see, but the key is pretending like you're really excited." ~Zac Efron

"My main piece of advice when dating would be to date smart, by just having a good time by learning through experiences, and don't get too attached, just participate in wholesome dating :)" ~Brad

"Kissing is like drinking salt water. The more you drink, you more you want. And always google funny pickup lines before a date." ~Winnie

"Just follow your heart. That's what I always do." ~Napoleon Dynamite.

"Keep it short....no longer than 2 hours....and simple, don't overplan! Dinner and a small activity. Maybe not even dinner, just a dessert. Open all doors. Be a good listener. Ask her questions about herself, family, future plans, hobbies, etc." ~Nicool

"Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle! Yeah." ~LMFAO

Philip sent in this video with his advices:

"Just be nice to your lady, and treat her with respect, and she will do the same to you." ~J Biebs

"Be super-needy. Call and text every 2-4 hours. Act super self-conscious and continuously apologize. Just for starters." ~Thank you, Jared Yarn....

And finally, Usher had this to say:

"You've got to love all your fans without falling in love with them. I can't say I've never dated a fan, but it's not a good idea....understand that you are a fantasy to them and you should be mindful of that." ~Usher

Obviously the broder is very well-prepared now.

A Grand Old Flag

Everyone celebrates Flag Day in their own way. Here's how one frozen yogurt shop, Top It Fro Yo, chose to celebrate: 

Here's how we chose to celebrate in my family. I invited everyone in for dinner. This is what the table was set like:

Not everyone had a good attitude about it. 

Julie asked if we were in the Great Depression. Dad thought it was hilarious. He took pictures of the table setting and had everyone smile and hold up their food. Here's the conversation that followed: 

Dad: Everyone smile! *Camera click*

Julie: I hope you captured my disgruntled expression. 

Heather: Stop making fun of my meal! It'll all be worth it when you try the tea I made. 

Julie: We're seriously having tea and crackers?? I thought that was a joke!

Heather: It's a really cool tea. It's mint vanilla. I saw it on Pinterest. It just took a little longer to make than I thought it would so I didn't have time to make scones. 

Dad: I think this is great! My college daughter's got me on a diet! 

Mom: Let's pray. 

We prayed. I stood to pour the tea, at the same time teaching some etiquette things. Julie angrily chomped away at her crackers. 

 When I got to Mom, she said:

Mom: Wait! Is this British tea?

Heather: Yes. It is a special kind of....

Mom: Then I can't drink it! 

She stoutly turned her cup upside-down. 

Heather: But - ! I worked really hard on it!

Mom: I am an American! I will not drink British tea! Sarah!!! Put that down!

Sarah: I think it's kinda good.....

Mom: No! I will not drink this! I revolt! This is a revolution!

Julie: Yeah! I don't want tea and crackers for dinner! I'm starving!

I slumped my shoulders. "Alright," I sighed, and went over to the oven. "I guess we can just have these dumb ol' things." I set a platter of Belgian waffles on the table. Everyone rejoiced. 

 

We had a great dinner of Belgian waffles, syrup, whipped cream, strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries. We had a special guest sing the National Anthem.

We had a contest to guess how many official flag designs there have been. We had a contest to see who could design the best American flag with their waffle. We apologized for the historical inaccuracy of our little skit at the beginning of the dinner.

If anyone is interested in the recipe for the vanilla mint tea, here it is:

2 cups hot water
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
3 drops green food coloring
1 drop blue food coloring
2 drops yellow food coloring
3 mint leaves sprinkled on top of the tea as decoration

Serve with sugar and coffee creamer.

Please note: this is not a real recipe. I just threw it together for the purpose of this meal.....which was a joke. And for the record, Mom and Sarah were both supposed to revolt, but Sarah actually liked the tea so she just skipped out on her part. And Dad and Julie were totally unsuspecting and they played their parts perfectly :)

Cookies and Karma

I've heard that when you come back home after an extended absence, no matter what you learned while you were living by yourself, you fall back into the same habits you were in at the time that you first left home.

For example, if you always slept in, and expected your mom to wake you up, you might start doing that again. Even if you had a 6:00 AM custodial job while you were gone. If you used to bicker constantly with your siblings, you might find yourself getting frustrated by everything they do. Etc.

Now, I've never been someone who bickers constantly with my siblings, but I have to admit that I have felt my maturity sliding backwards ever since coming home. Also, I am perfectly capable of feeding myself while at college, but for some reason, when I come home, it is so hard to get up and get myself a snack. I usually just get one of my siblings to do it for me.

Just yesterday, I was working on a school project that was due in a matter of hours. One of my sisters was looking at facebook and tumblr and YouTube, "prepping" herself for the crushing disappointment she had come to associate with job-hunting before she jumped back into the fray of online applications. My tomach rumbled. I made a little plea for some food. Sister refused to help. This cycle repeated itself several times.

......An hour later, I got up and got myself some food.

A few hours after that, Sister and I had both relocated to her room upstairs. By this time, my project was due in 45 minutes. Sister was hanging up clothes. There was a knock on the door. Sister and I both ignored it, hoping the other would get it. The knocker continued knocking insistently.

"Sister??" I asked incredulously, as if my supremely granted right to lounge about at all times somehow took precedence over hers.

"It's probably a salesman anyway," she said.

The knocking was way too quick and little-fisted to be a salesman. She knew it as well as I did.

"Sister! That is obviously not a salesman! Why are you being such a brat!" I stomped out of the room and ran down the stairs, where someone was still knocking. Sister slammed the bedroom door after me.

It was not a salesman who was knocking (thank goodness, since I still hadn't put on my makeup). It was a little boy from across the street who had borrowed a cup of sugar from us earlier to make cookies. Now he stood on our porch, holding a plate of cookies.

"Neighbor!" I greeted him. "Did you make these?" He nodded. He looked a little confused. I think he didn't recognize me, since I'm usually at college, and he was worried he had gotten the wrong house. But then I called him by name and he got even more confused.

"They look great!" I said. He handed me the plate, nodding. I noticed the marshmallows and chunks of Hershey's chocolate on top of the cookies. "Are they s'mores cookies?" I asked. He nodded, eyes wide. "You did a good job," I said, smiling. He nodded. "I can't wait to taste them!"

He nodded. "Okay, well.....see ya later!" I said. He nodded and continued standing there. "Alright thanks!" I said, and backed up a little. He started to turn around so I slowly closed the door and brought the cookies to the kitchen.

"Karmaaaa!" sang a little voice in my head. "I am getting what I deserve," I told myself smugly. "Sister doesn't get a cookie because she was too lazy to answer the door."

I took a cookie and bit into it. I danced around the kitchen a little. "I'm going to finish this here," I decided, "and when Sister asks who was at the door, I'm going to tell her. And she'll have to come downstairs and get her own cookie."

I had barely taken my third bite when my feet started carrying me to the stairs. A better plan was forming. I would take my cookie up there and eat it in front of her. And then I would probably get some crumbs in her bed, and everyone hates crumbs in their bed.

Wouldn't you know it, I tripped on the first step. My cookie landed on the stair, marshmallow-side-up.

"Karmaaaaa!" sang a little voice in my head. "I am getting what I deserve," I thought sadly.

So Sister got a cookie, too. And no one got crumbs in anyone else's bed. And I turned my project in on time. And I'm pretty sure Sister is going to get an awesome amazing job, so it looks like everything works out in the end, all pettiness aside.

Mad-a-who-ha?

In no particular order, my favorite movies are:

1. Failure to Launch

2. Just Like Heaven

3. Shanghai Noon

anddd 4. Madagascar 2.

Also in no particular order, 4 of my favorite people in Maryland right now are:

1. Julie

2. Joseph

3. Jacob

4. Sarah.

A few months ago, we found out the Madagascar 3 was going to be coming out. AH! We all love Madagascar 2. Very very much. It is hilarious. If you haven't watched it, you should. Because we enjoyed the second Madagascar so much, we thought we might feel the same way about this third movie. 

So, on Saturday, Julie, Joseph, Jacob, Sarah and I dressed up like the Madagascar penguins, did a photo shoot in the front yard, and went to the movie theater. We penguin-walked into the theater, bought our tickets, found our seats, and had a great time. 

Our consensus on the movie: It was great! It was funny! We liked it! 

Favorite line: "I'm obviously just an emotional whoopie cushion for you to sit on!"

Favorite character: Is that even a question?? King Julien!