Schule

I just had the following phone conversation with my little baby sister:

Me: Have you started school yet?

Her: Not yet, we start on the 27th.

Me: Oh wow! Are you excited?

Her: YES!.....sort of......no, not really.

I feel you, girl.

Although every time I see this sign, I get a little bit more excited :)

Pity the Pepper

If I were a really cool blogger, I would probably do occasional posts on the fancy food that I make err day, or the fancy clothes that I wear on the reg. But I don't really wear fancy clothes, and even though I do love to experiment with new foods when I come home, I never document them. Instead, I like to blog about the free food that other people make and then send my way.

(Just in case you are interested, I have made 21 dinners since being home, and like 9 breakfasts, and 2 lunches, and they have all been really great.)

But today, I actually would like to tell you about the dinner I made. It was called: salmon and wild rice. It is an old favorite in our family when we are running low on time because it is super-quick and super-simple.

Anyway, today, I went downstairs to find some wild rice in the yellow room. Only I got assaulted by two black pepper grinders that fell on the floor and immediately shattered, as if all the world had wronged them by looking for wild rice.

Sarah came rushing in to help me clean up the mess. One of them still had lots of pepper left in it, so I put it up on the shelf again so I could bring it upstairs with me and add it to the other pepper grinder.

"It's okay, Heather," Sarah said, by way of comforting me. "I break goblets sometimes."


This is true. She has broken three in the past 2 months.

She held the dustpan and I started sweeping the pepper and glass into it. "Dad would be in heaven," she said. "All this pepper...."

Less than one minute after we finished cleaning it up, the pepper grinder that still had lots of pepper in it fell again. And shattered. And Sarah came back in to help me clean that mess up.

Which is why my go-to methods for finding food that I need include:

1. calling a brother to get it
2. calling a sister to get it
3. when all else fails, calling in Mom to get it.

Because if I have to look for it, all the pepper grinders will shatter.

This may or may not be a metaphor. And in case you're wondering, I'm currently in the market for car insurance. So, there's that.

Also, I may not be a "real blogger" in the sense that I post about recipes and outfits, but next week I will do something cool and real blogger-y! Called, I will have a guest blogger do a little post. I'm pretty excited about it and all of you should be, too :) So stay tuned for that!

Sister Sleepovers: A Tutorial

Sarah, Julie, and I love having sister sleepovers whenever I'm home. Usually this means all of us crowding into Julie's queen-sized bed, fighting over the body pillow, whispering and elbowing each other until we finally fall asleep in odd positions that are entirely different than the ones we wake up in.

But last night, "sister sleepover" meant something entirely different. And now, for our tutorial:

How to have a Successful Sister Sleepover without getting the Usual Bruises

1. Have your brother go on a scout camp-out. When he gets home, have him air out his tent in the living room.

2. Get really excited when you see said tent in the living room.

3. Make s'mores! If you can't find any plain chocolate, special dark chocolate nuggets with almonds from your dad's secret stash in his office will do just as well. You just have to cut out the almonds.

4. Pose excitedly while preparing these s'mores. 

5. Pre-heat the oven to 400* while cutting the almonds out of the chocolates. When you are ready to put the s'mores in the oven, turn it from "Bake" to "Broil." 

6. If your s'mores look like the picture above, then they are perfect. Top them with another graham cracker. 

7. Eat them in your tent. Pose for more pictures!

8. Have a lovely night in the tent!

Dating Advices

As many of you may remember from May, I have a brother who is a man. And this man is getting ready to go on his first date in a matter of days.

To prepare him, I asked several of my friends (all of whom are awesome daters, obviously) for advice. For any of my readers who are seeking dating advice, I have recorded the advices below. Enjoy :)

"Open the car door for your date. Tell her she looks nice. Treat her like a lady. Don't worry about having to be smooth. Be yourself, and if she doesn't like you for who you are then she isn't someone to ask out again. You should have no problem because from what I hear you are a stud. If the conversation is hard to keep then don't worry about forcing it, it should be easy to talk with her. If it isn't, move on and ask a new girl out because she wasn't for you. Good luck with everything and don't worry about kissing a girl right away." ~the infamous Steve Johnson

"A good date movie is anything she wants to see, but the key is pretending like you're really excited." ~Zac Efron

"My main piece of advice when dating would be to date smart, by just having a good time by learning through experiences, and don't get too attached, just participate in wholesome dating :)" ~Brad

"Kissing is like drinking salt water. The more you drink, you more you want. And always google funny pickup lines before a date." ~Winnie

"Just follow your heart. That's what I always do." ~Napoleon Dynamite.

"Keep it short....no longer than 2 hours....and simple, don't overplan! Dinner and a small activity. Maybe not even dinner, just a dessert. Open all doors. Be a good listener. Ask her questions about herself, family, future plans, hobbies, etc." ~Nicool

"Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle! Yeah." ~LMFAO

Philip sent in this video with his advices:

"Just be nice to your lady, and treat her with respect, and she will do the same to you." ~J Biebs

"Be super-needy. Call and text every 2-4 hours. Act super self-conscious and continuously apologize. Just for starters." ~Thank you, Jared Yarn....

And finally, Usher had this to say:

"You've got to love all your fans without falling in love with them. I can't say I've never dated a fan, but it's not a good idea....understand that you are a fantasy to them and you should be mindful of that." ~Usher

Obviously the broder is very well-prepared now.

There Goes the Farter

Once upon a time, some fellas who call themselves the Gym Class Heroes made up a beautiful song called "The Fighter." They invited a guy named Ryan Tedder to sing with them. They inspired at least 3,190,981 people.

 

And then, a nice little family in Maryland ruined it. They were standing around, eating ice cream one night after one (baby) sister had been particularly flatulent, and one of them started playing this song. Except, they sang it like this:

"Until the referee rings the bell
Until both your butt cheeks start to swell
Until the crowd goes home
What we gonna do ya'll?

Give em smell, turn their heads
Gonna live life til we're dead.
Give me scars, give me pain
Then they'll say of me, say of me, say of me
There goes the farter, (oooh-oooh-oooh!)
There goes the farter (oooh-oooh-oooh!)
Here comes the farter (oooh-oooh-oooh!)
That's what they'll say of me, say of me, say of me,
This one's a farter."


And that's not even all. This irreverent family made up a dance to go along with it. And then one of them blogged about it. 


Oh, that was me. Sorry this is the second post in a row that deals with farting. I'll try to be more mature. 

The Mysterious Smell

I know I blogged barely 4 seconds ago, but I don't have a job right now, so I'm going to blog again. Just so you know how things go around here, the following conversation just happened.

I was in the kitchen, eating breakfast with Dad. Jacob was in the hallway getting ready for his wilderness survival solo camp-out that he's going on tonight. Mom was helping him. Sarah was wandering around being pretty. Jacob lit a safety match to test one out. 

Dad: Oh Jacob! Man! 

Jacob: It's just a match, Dad. 

Dad: My gosh. I mean, did you light that thing and then fart? And then wave it around?

Jacob: No....

Dad: Uh-huh, sure you didn't. 

Sarah came in the kitchen. 

Sarah: Oh man, what is that smell?

*For the record, I thought it smelled like fire, nothing abnormal for a match, but apparently everyone else thought it was super-stinky.*

Me: Dad farted. 

Sarah: Ohhhh, Dad!

She walked away, looking disgusted. 

Dad: Sarah, that's not true, now, Heather's lying. 

Sarah: Yeah right, Dad. 

Dad: Jacob came in here and lit a match and that is what the stink is, not me! I didn't fart!

But of course, Sarah was gone, so Dad turned to me. 

Dad: Now Heather, you lied about that. You lied just now! I didn't fart. 

I just laughed and continued eating my waffle. In the other room, we heard Sarah talking to Jacob. 

Sarah: Jacob, did you light a match just now?

Jacob: No, that was Dad's fart.

Dad: Hey, now that's two of you who are lying! Now I didn't fart! And you guys know that!

But we all remembered that one time long ago yesterday when Dad said to me: "You know what's nice about having an office with a screen door?" He stepped outside and stretched his arms wide. "You can always step outside and feel the breeze." And then, he let out the hugest fart ever. "You can even make your own breeze!" he continued enthusiastically. 

I was upstairs before he came back inside. 

So even after I admitted to Sarah that actually we had lied and Jacob really did light a match, we all still wondered if the stink from the match was actually a stink from the match mixed with a stink from something (or someone) else. 

A Grand Old Flag

Everyone celebrates Flag Day in their own way. Here's how one frozen yogurt shop, Top It Fro Yo, chose to celebrate: 

Here's how we chose to celebrate in my family. I invited everyone in for dinner. This is what the table was set like:

Not everyone had a good attitude about it. 

Julie asked if we were in the Great Depression. Dad thought it was hilarious. He took pictures of the table setting and had everyone smile and hold up their food. Here's the conversation that followed: 

Dad: Everyone smile! *Camera click*

Julie: I hope you captured my disgruntled expression. 

Heather: Stop making fun of my meal! It'll all be worth it when you try the tea I made. 

Julie: We're seriously having tea and crackers?? I thought that was a joke!

Heather: It's a really cool tea. It's mint vanilla. I saw it on Pinterest. It just took a little longer to make than I thought it would so I didn't have time to make scones. 

Dad: I think this is great! My college daughter's got me on a diet! 

Mom: Let's pray. 

We prayed. I stood to pour the tea, at the same time teaching some etiquette things. Julie angrily chomped away at her crackers. 

 When I got to Mom, she said:

Mom: Wait! Is this British tea?

Heather: Yes. It is a special kind of....

Mom: Then I can't drink it! 

She stoutly turned her cup upside-down. 

Heather: But - ! I worked really hard on it!

Mom: I am an American! I will not drink British tea! Sarah!!! Put that down!

Sarah: I think it's kinda good.....

Mom: No! I will not drink this! I revolt! This is a revolution!

Julie: Yeah! I don't want tea and crackers for dinner! I'm starving!

I slumped my shoulders. "Alright," I sighed, and went over to the oven. "I guess we can just have these dumb ol' things." I set a platter of Belgian waffles on the table. Everyone rejoiced. 

 

We had a great dinner of Belgian waffles, syrup, whipped cream, strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries. We had a special guest sing the National Anthem.

We had a contest to guess how many official flag designs there have been. We had a contest to see who could design the best American flag with their waffle. We apologized for the historical inaccuracy of our little skit at the beginning of the dinner.

If anyone is interested in the recipe for the vanilla mint tea, here it is:

2 cups hot water
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
3 drops green food coloring
1 drop blue food coloring
2 drops yellow food coloring
3 mint leaves sprinkled on top of the tea as decoration

Serve with sugar and coffee creamer.

Please note: this is not a real recipe. I just threw it together for the purpose of this meal.....which was a joke. And for the record, Mom and Sarah were both supposed to revolt, but Sarah actually liked the tea so she just skipped out on her part. And Dad and Julie were totally unsuspecting and they played their parts perfectly :)

Mad-a-who-ha?

In no particular order, my favorite movies are:

1. Failure to Launch

2. Just Like Heaven

3. Shanghai Noon

anddd 4. Madagascar 2.

Also in no particular order, 4 of my favorite people in Maryland right now are:

1. Julie

2. Joseph

3. Jacob

4. Sarah.

A few months ago, we found out the Madagascar 3 was going to be coming out. AH! We all love Madagascar 2. Very very much. It is hilarious. If you haven't watched it, you should. Because we enjoyed the second Madagascar so much, we thought we might feel the same way about this third movie. 

So, on Saturday, Julie, Joseph, Jacob, Sarah and I dressed up like the Madagascar penguins, did a photo shoot in the front yard, and went to the movie theater. We penguin-walked into the theater, bought our tickets, found our seats, and had a great time. 

Our consensus on the movie: It was great! It was funny! We liked it! 

Favorite line: "I'm obviously just an emotional whoopie cushion for you to sit on!"

Favorite character: Is that even a question?? King Julien! 

Whataman

Once upon a time, there was a family that started out with a girl. Then another girl came, and then another girl, and then another girl. All of these girls were quite welcome, but when finally the fifth child came, and he was a boy, there was great rejoicing in the land. 

That boy was arguably paid as much attention as an infant as Prince Harry himself was. His parents loved him, and his sisters fawned over him. He could do no wrong. His name was Joseph, and he was born on May 13th, 16 years ago. 

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have to admit that we may have taught him how to kiss our hands and open doors for us with a hand flourish and an "after you." And we also might have let him dress up in a sea-foam green princess dress once. 

But no matter what we did, Joseph has turned out downright manly. He is taller than me. He has a man voice. The picture above shows him before he turned into a man all of a sudden. Kind of overnight.

I love how helpful Joseph is. He is just a nice boy! When I ask for his help with something, he kindly gives it. He is really patient with me when I am accidentally dumb at something. 

He is also fun to play with. I love playing nerts with him, or Just Dance, or basketball, or biking with him, or Ticket to Ride, or anything else. He is fun to play with and he is so cute - I mean, manly - when he is explaining the rules to me.

Joseph is awesome because he is super-smart. I remember him reading the Harry Potter books when he was only 6 or 7. It was so cute because the book was like, as big as him.

Last year for Joseph's birthday, I took a trip with him and Julie to Virginia Beach. We stayed with some family friends and had a great little weekend. He let us listen to whatever music we wanted to in the car and didn't even act judgey! 

Joseph is super-handsome. See above.

Joseph is versatile. He can be serious, but he is also silly a lot of the time. He does funny poses in pictures and joins in when we burst into a silly song at the dinner table. 

He is a good brother to all of his sisters. One time when we were younger, I was sitting in the study and he and Julie walked in. 

"Oh, hi Sister Johnson!" Julie said. "Thank you sooo much for agreeing to watch Bud today."

"I....." I started to interrupt, but then didn't have anything to say.

"I'll be back at around 4?" Julie said, smiling sweetly at me.

"Sure?" I said. 

"Okay, bye! Bud, be good for Sister Johnson."

As it turns out, "Bud" was a game that Julie and Joseph played frequently. They were such cute little buddies then, and they continue to be now that they are both in high school. 

Joseph is also a good broder to Sarah. He and Jacob like to tease her, like older brothers do, but they really love and look out for her. Look at how manly he is dancing with her!

Okay, he usuallllllyy takes good care of her.

Joseph does track at school. This reminds me that he is a man because he runs like a man. And then he smells like a man. 

 And then, he poses like a man. 

I just think he is a freaking stud. With or without glasses, he looks so great!

Joseph is a leader. He is good with kids, and he is good at spotting the needs of others. I love to see the way he watches out for people who maybe don't have as many friends. He is sensitive and kind. But like, in a manly way :)

He is such a good brother to me. I think one way we really bonded was when I taught him piano lessons. He was my first student, so I tried out lots of new things with him. He was always patient and respectful. He practiced whatever I asked him to practice. I remember sitting next to him on the piano bench and just laughing with him. I love watching him play piano, because whenever he makes a mistake, he shakes his head and kind of grunts, and then fixes it. It's a funny little habit that I actually kind of picked up.....

Maybe from having so many sisters, Joseph has gotten really good at consoling me by saying just one or two things. When I'm annoyed, he'll listen to me vent, and then he'll just think about it for a minute, and then he'll say his one-liner, and then I'll feel better. Just like that. He is so handy to have around.  

I love you Joseph! I love the way you want me to cut your hair even though I suck at it. I love how you aren't too cool to join in on dance parties that we like to randomly have. I love how you develop your own interests in things like LOTR and then you want to share those things with me. You are so great for so many reasons! Keep manning it up!

Sarita Bonita Chiquita

Sometimes when I meet new people, they ask me where I fall in my family. Sometimes, I have them guess. And more often than I would like to admit, they guess that I am the baby.

The thing is, I am not the baby of the family. The baby of the family has reddish hair, not blonde. She is a basketball champ. She started blogging at a much younger age than I did. And she just turned ten today.

Sarah started out cute. She had strawberry-blonde hair and big blue eyes. We loved having another baby, a baby we could dress up and dote on and adore, and she loved being that baby. She laughed all the time and somehow, despite all of us clamoring for a chance to paint her nails or feed her or dance with her, she didn't turn out spoiled.

She had these two super-cute outfits when she was about three: a fluffy little skirt and a shirt to go with it. One was pink and one was green. She loved wearing them and dancing in the living room to "Supermodel," the song from the Lizzie McGuire movie.

One time when she was a baby, she was running around the island, being chased by Joseph or Jacob and just laughing her head off. All of a sudden, she stopped running, stopped laughing, and squatted down, looking very concentrated. The broder stopped. "Sarah?" he asked. She made a little panting sound, then stood up and started running and laughing again.

I guess when you got to go, you got to go!

One day when I was in college but was home for the summer, I took all the kids to get their hairs cut. The haircut lady put this streak of blue in her hair so obviously we had to have a photo shoot right when we got home!

Two years ago, we had a family reunion in Midway. All the girls shared one bed which was SO fun. I discovered then that Sarah moves around a lot in her sleep, and she is suddenly endowed with super-strength. If she wants to move, she does, and nothing will get in her way. I don't know how, but apparently, I slept through this.

On the flight home from that trip, Sarah got hot chocolate for her beverage. As the cherry on top of a disastrous plane ride, it of course spilled all over her. Since she didn't have any other pants, we just had to strip off the ones she was wearing and wrap Mom's jacket around her. I think it makes a very stylish skirt, don't you?

Something that I love about Sarah is how funny she is. She says the funniest things sometimes! I love talking to her on the phone and hearing about her day at school, or the boys who like her, or the latest drama with her friends. When she was about 2 or 3 we would browse through the Avon catalog every time it came and pick out our favorites on each page. She talked like a teenager then, and now, I feel like I am talking to one of my friends when I talk to her.

There is no question that Sarah is the most athletic girl in our family. I think her athleticism is Heavenly Father's blessing for my dad serving in the bishopric or something, because none of the first four girls did much of anything with sports. Sarah, on the other hand, loves basketball and soccer and pretty much any other sport she tries. She is, without question, the best one on her basketball team. (Don't worry that she fowls out on a regular basis ;) and we all love watching her play!

Sarah has a huge heart. She just knows how to love people and show them. She is a good listener; when she's talking to me, I never feel like she's just waiting for her turn to talk. She is genuinely interested in others. She is honest, sensitive, and sincere, and you can tell when you talk to her.

Contrary to what you might think from this picture, Sarah likes when I do her hair. I remember when I worked at Club Libby Lu and she was so pumped when she got to come in and get a makeover. She's just being sassy in this picture.

Sassiness is not a bad thing if you do it as cutely as Sarah does it. One time, when she visited me in Florida, she met my friend Sean. I don't remember what he said, but she thought it sounded a little flirty and decided he needed to be called out on it.

Hand on hip, eyes fixed, she bobbed her head and said, "Oh, I see, you crushin' on my sister?" in a way that reminded me that a lot of her friends are these cute little black girls. Sean wasn't crushin' on her sister, but he still turned red and laughed about it for weeks afterwards.

Even though she's almost 8 years younger than Julie, and the rest of the sisters are only about 2 years apart from the next sister, Sarah fits right in with us. She easily floats from the sisters to the brothers to her own friends.

Sarah had a unique experience when she came to Disney World. Having a sister who worked there and had just tried out for Cinderella, she knew more about how the park worked than lots of other kids her age. But at the same time, she was so much fun to go around the park with. She is super-energetic and was so enthusiastic about everything.

This is when she accidentally splashed me when getting out of the pool. I think that she mostly likes being the youngest, but thinks it would be nice if she had a sibling more her age who always wanted to swim in the pool with her when her boring older sisters just want to sit on the side and dip their feet in.

One day, a girl in our ward broke up with her boyfriend. Actually, he broke up with her, and she ended up at our house for dinner that Sunday. We had a great dinner, and afterwards, she wandered out of the kitchen, unnoticed by most of us. Sarah of course noticed and followed her to the living room.

When I went in there later, the Single Lady was lying on her stomach on the couch, saying something about how "I just don't understand, everything was going so well!" Sarah was nodding and "mhmm"ing sympathetically, her hands expertly karate-chopping a rhythm up and down the Single Lady's back.

Now, whenever I have a bad day, I wish that Sarah was there to give me a nice massage and "mhmm" sympathetically at my pathetic story. She's not, but the memory of that still cheers me up when I need it!

Sarah makes me feel like a million bucks every time I go home to visit. She doesn't try to hog attention; she tries to throw it all on the person who is having a special day. If I'm visiting from college, I am that person. If Nicool is having a birthday, she is that person. I literally think Sarah doesn't even think about herself when it is someone else's time to eat off of the Special plate.

This Christmas, my dad dropped a coin in the garbage disposal. Or at least, he convinced himself that he had. He tried getting it out and couldn't, having big man hands, so he got Sarah out of bed (it was probably about 6:50 in the morning) and asked for her help. She traipsed downstairs in her pink t-shirt and hand-me-down-from-the-broders tiger pajama pants, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, hopped obligingly up on a chair, and felt around for the coin.

I thought it was so cute that I had to take this picture. All I know is, if Dad asked me to do that, I can't promise that I would be so sweet about it. And that is why Sarah is cooler than me.

She loves doing sister photo shoots. Here are some gems from past sister or family photo shoots:

At Disney World, a guy walking around Animal Kingdom made up this song on the spot for Sarah. If nothing else, he at least got the name right: "Princess Sarah." Enjoy!

Love you Sarah!!! I am so proud of you and brag about you all the time. I can't think of a better way to finish off the Connor Clan. I hope you know how amazing I think you are. I love you forever!