The Mysterious Smell

I know I blogged barely 4 seconds ago, but I don't have a job right now, so I'm going to blog again. Just so you know how things go around here, the following conversation just happened.

I was in the kitchen, eating breakfast with Dad. Jacob was in the hallway getting ready for his wilderness survival solo camp-out that he's going on tonight. Mom was helping him. Sarah was wandering around being pretty. Jacob lit a safety match to test one out. 

Dad: Oh Jacob! Man! 

Jacob: It's just a match, Dad. 

Dad: My gosh. I mean, did you light that thing and then fart? And then wave it around?

Jacob: No....

Dad: Uh-huh, sure you didn't. 

Sarah came in the kitchen. 

Sarah: Oh man, what is that smell?

*For the record, I thought it smelled like fire, nothing abnormal for a match, but apparently everyone else thought it was super-stinky.*

Me: Dad farted. 

Sarah: Ohhhh, Dad!

She walked away, looking disgusted. 

Dad: Sarah, that's not true, now, Heather's lying. 

Sarah: Yeah right, Dad. 

Dad: Jacob came in here and lit a match and that is what the stink is, not me! I didn't fart!

But of course, Sarah was gone, so Dad turned to me. 

Dad: Now Heather, you lied about that. You lied just now! I didn't fart. 

I just laughed and continued eating my waffle. In the other room, we heard Sarah talking to Jacob. 

Sarah: Jacob, did you light a match just now?

Jacob: No, that was Dad's fart.

Dad: Hey, now that's two of you who are lying! Now I didn't fart! And you guys know that!

But we all remembered that one time long ago yesterday when Dad said to me: "You know what's nice about having an office with a screen door?" He stepped outside and stretched his arms wide. "You can always step outside and feel the breeze." And then, he let out the hugest fart ever. "You can even make your own breeze!" he continued enthusiastically. 

I was upstairs before he came back inside. 

So even after I admitted to Sarah that actually we had lied and Jacob really did light a match, we all still wondered if the stink from the match was actually a stink from the match mixed with a stink from something (or someone) else.