If I'm watching a movie, I'm falling asleep.
If I'm sitting on my couch, one of my roommates is petting my head and I'm falling asleep.
If I'm eating something, it might as well be Benadryl.
If I'm driving (which I am, 70% of my life), I am alert and dancing ridiculously to "Call Me Maybe," "Everybody Talks," or "Want U Back."
If I am hanging out with my friends, I am trying valiantly to be fun and stay awake, but I sometimes end up accidentally falling asleep in the middle of the conversation. But don't worry, because apparently, my valiant efforts to contribute my two cents to the conversation don't stop when I fall asleep.
Sometimes, I don't even wake up until it is 3 in the morning. And that's when I look around and realize that I was not the only one who just fell asleep where I was, because one of my friends is on the other couch.
When I woke up for real this morning, Kristen was just on her way out. "You guys are welcome to stay here," she said. "Winnie spent the night, too."
So there we sat, Winnie, Christine and I on Kristen's plush couches, blinking at each other through day-old makeup, trying to remember how we all somehow just fell asleep in the middle of talking the night before.
The walk to Winnie's car was like a walk of shame....."except worse, because we didn't even get any action" (Christine).
Don't worry, we still stopped at the Awful Waffle and had a real cute friends-who-walk-of-shame-together,-graduate-together kinda morning-after breakfast.
You can write on the tables there.