Because yesterday I went surfing. And I saw some dolphin fins. And some spinner sharks jumping out of the water. And I got THIS:
That's my arm, btw. And that's a bruise that is literally bigger than my hand. I got it because I jumped off the surf board and then it ran into me. Also because I am so hardcore that I get cool bruises like that when I have awesome life experiences that I can cross off my bucket list.
Also, just fei, I wore SPF 30 this time. And reapplied every twenty minutes. That is not an exaggeration. And I got a little bit burned, but not nearly as burned as last time. Probably because I seriously put on more sunscreen every time I turned around. And I drank way more water this time and even sat under a towel for the last two hours because I could see myself starting to turn a little pink and I am not all about getting skin cancer.
Dearest Kelly Ann Connor,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you have missed me, I'll try to make an appearance more often.
Yours,
Anonymous
P.S. Maybe you should stop wearing a bikini, Heather. That would reduce your chances of skin cancer.
Obviously, I need to go through and delete some of my facebook friends.
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome Heather! I went surfing a ton when I was a kid and lived in Cali, and got a similar bruise on my chin.....Don't ever look into the water after you crash......your board will hit you in the face every time!
ReplyDeleteBlog Stalker/ Hater,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, please do not call me "Dearest". I know you don't actually think of me that way. I mean, I know it's not your forte (you still insist on hiding behind your "anonymous" name), but try to be a little forthright. Cyber bullying is sooo last decade. Secondly, my name is not Kelly Ann Connor. If you actually read my comment, you should have been able to spell Kelly Salmon.
I like that you call what I'm doing "cyber bullying." Cute.
ReplyDeleteAnd my apologies, Mrs. Salmon. I'll try to not make that mistake in the future.
Yours,
Anonymous
oh heyy I figured out Anonymous' real name!!
ReplyDeleteJack. Ass.
:) I'm such a good lil detective
Haha that is sound advice, Mont.
ReplyDelete