Like Winnie the Pooh? But Better

There was this one time, two years ago, when all the bachelors in Utah got lucky.

Or 25 of them at least. Originally it was only supposed to be 21 bachelors, but it ended up being 25-ish. Why did they get lucky all at once, you ask? It's because they happened to know a girl named Christine, and she happened to plan a great surprise for her friend's 21st birthday. And that surprise involved Winnie stepping into a dark room and being surprised by a party that was attended by 21 smokin' hot men who handed her a rose, one by one, and kissed her.

There were supposed to be 21, but like I said before, there ended up being 25-ish. They basically begged to be included, and Christine didn't want to exclude anyone. This might seem surprising to some people in Provo, since not every girl has a boy clamoring after her for a kiss, much less 25. But the better you get to know Winnie, the less surprising it is.

We were babies when we met. BABIES I tell you. There we were, fresh-faced and bushy-tailed, sitting on the grass for freshman orientation. Who could have known then that over the course of our freshman year.....

1. I would spend approximately 3 nights every week sleeping on Winnie's couch instead of my own bed, which was a whole floor away from Winnie's apartment. 

2. We would make friends with some lovely people who we are still friends with today. 

3. We would go to a preference dance that we creatively asked boys to. 

4. We would get our Tucano's free meal cards in the mail at the same time, which would start a glorious tradition of us going to Tucano's for lunch on a weekend close to our birthdays.

5. We would both buy each other ice cream on account of some exciting first kisses. 

6. We would eat lunch together almost err day. We would also eat lots of other meals together. Like every time we had a test coming up and we had to study, so naturally we would eat instead.....

7. She would act as mediator during some interesting interactions with the roommates. We would design a peace pipe made of a paper towel roll and some scrapbook paper for this interaction. We would also come wearing these homemade headbands. 

8. We would be rewarded for the hours we spent mentoring elementary-schoolers with a tour of the football stadium and locker room. We would be more excited about this tour than the elementary-schoolers we were mentoring. 

 

 9. We would cuddle. At least, that's what some people would call what you see happening in that picture below....

 10.We would develop a greater appreciation for animals, like the ones we would visit in the Bean Museum. Also, like Cosmo the Cougar.

11. We would become such good friends that she would come and visit me on the East Coast that summer! During which trip, we would go to DC, NYC, New Jersey (on accident), and Baltimore.

12.  We would continue to party like (Mormon) rock stars when we were sophomores and juniors in college. We thought we would grow up after freshman year.

....but we only kind of did.

 13. We would turn into men for a night. 

 14. At some point, we would also turn into a genie and a shawty, respectively.

15.  We would take a week off from real life with some other friends from freshman year. Instead of going to classes or work, we would spend it in Vegas and California, sampling sodas from around the world, posing by palm trees, celebrating the wonderful Walt Disney, and soaking up the sun. 

Don't worry. We wouldn't feel any remorse about it. 

It's not often that you find someone who will be such a good friend as Winnie is. She is loyal and funny and thoughtful. She is a hard worker, but she makes time to have fun. She gives such good advice, and even when she says "I told you so," it's not mean. 

She wears cute clothes and her hairs always look good and I think her only fault is that her feet are not the same size as mine, so I can't borrow her shoes. And you know that's sad, because they are always cute.

She learns from her experiences. She has ambition and gumption. She is probably going to be the president one day. Whenever I'm hanging out with her and my dad calls, he tells me how great he thinks she is. Also, Nicole does the same thing.

So on behalf of my dad, Nicole, Chuck Bass, those 25 boys, and of course, myself: Happy birthday, Winnie! I hope it was the best day ever :)

Whataman

Once upon a time, there was a family that started out with a girl. Then another girl came, and then another girl, and then another girl. All of these girls were quite welcome, but when finally the fifth child came, and he was a boy, there was great rejoicing in the land. 

That boy was arguably paid as much attention as an infant as Prince Harry himself was. His parents loved him, and his sisters fawned over him. He could do no wrong. His name was Joseph, and he was born on May 13th, 16 years ago. 

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have to admit that we may have taught him how to kiss our hands and open doors for us with a hand flourish and an "after you." And we also might have let him dress up in a sea-foam green princess dress once. 

But no matter what we did, Joseph has turned out downright manly. He is taller than me. He has a man voice. The picture above shows him before he turned into a man all of a sudden. Kind of overnight.

I love how helpful Joseph is. He is just a nice boy! When I ask for his help with something, he kindly gives it. He is really patient with me when I am accidentally dumb at something. 

He is also fun to play with. I love playing nerts with him, or Just Dance, or basketball, or biking with him, or Ticket to Ride, or anything else. He is fun to play with and he is so cute - I mean, manly - when he is explaining the rules to me.

Joseph is awesome because he is super-smart. I remember him reading the Harry Potter books when he was only 6 or 7. It was so cute because the book was like, as big as him.

Last year for Joseph's birthday, I took a trip with him and Julie to Virginia Beach. We stayed with some family friends and had a great little weekend. He let us listen to whatever music we wanted to in the car and didn't even act judgey! 

Joseph is super-handsome. See above.

Joseph is versatile. He can be serious, but he is also silly a lot of the time. He does funny poses in pictures and joins in when we burst into a silly song at the dinner table. 

He is a good brother to all of his sisters. One time when we were younger, I was sitting in the study and he and Julie walked in. 

"Oh, hi Sister Johnson!" Julie said. "Thank you sooo much for agreeing to watch Bud today."

"I....." I started to interrupt, but then didn't have anything to say.

"I'll be back at around 4?" Julie said, smiling sweetly at me.

"Sure?" I said. 

"Okay, bye! Bud, be good for Sister Johnson."

As it turns out, "Bud" was a game that Julie and Joseph played frequently. They were such cute little buddies then, and they continue to be now that they are both in high school. 

Joseph is also a good broder to Sarah. He and Jacob like to tease her, like older brothers do, but they really love and look out for her. Look at how manly he is dancing with her!

Okay, he usuallllllyy takes good care of her.

Joseph does track at school. This reminds me that he is a man because he runs like a man. And then he smells like a man. 

 And then, he poses like a man. 

I just think he is a freaking stud. With or without glasses, he looks so great!

Joseph is a leader. He is good with kids, and he is good at spotting the needs of others. I love to see the way he watches out for people who maybe don't have as many friends. He is sensitive and kind. But like, in a manly way :)

He is such a good brother to me. I think one way we really bonded was when I taught him piano lessons. He was my first student, so I tried out lots of new things with him. He was always patient and respectful. He practiced whatever I asked him to practice. I remember sitting next to him on the piano bench and just laughing with him. I love watching him play piano, because whenever he makes a mistake, he shakes his head and kind of grunts, and then fixes it. It's a funny little habit that I actually kind of picked up.....

Maybe from having so many sisters, Joseph has gotten really good at consoling me by saying just one or two things. When I'm annoyed, he'll listen to me vent, and then he'll just think about it for a minute, and then he'll say his one-liner, and then I'll feel better. Just like that. He is so handy to have around.  

I love you Joseph! I love the way you want me to cut your hair even though I suck at it. I love how you aren't too cool to join in on dance parties that we like to randomly have. I love how you develop your own interests in things like LOTR and then you want to share those things with me. You are so great for so many reasons! Keep manning it up!

Beach Bums

Disney Land is a pretty magical place, but the next stop on our vacation was every bit as magical, in my opinion. It was a bit of a hassle in the assle to get to, but when we got there, it was so worth it!

"The pimp-friend-turned-tour guide, formerly known as Steve"

"Can you hold this please? In your face...." -Steve

S: Can you imagine life without GPS?
W: Can you imagine life without....cell phones, or cars, or World of Colors....

W: I really hope this is the beach house. Otherwise I'm just going to break in and pretend it is.
S: Oh hey, are you my dad's client? No? Well, now you are!

"I don't even want to drive after this. Like at all. I will let my body eat itself." -Steve

"Thanks for the love honk, dude." -Steve

"This GPS is stupid. I want to punch it." -Steve

H: You guys are such novices at being lost. See, I get lost all the time, so this is like, no big deal. Oooh, look at that pretty rose!
S: Maybe that's why you get lost all the time....
H: Huh?
S: Oooh! A flower! That's what you do when you get lost??

And then, we arrived. It was almost midnight, and we all just kind of stumbled into the beach house and dropped our stuff.

You guys. It was the cutest beach house I have ever been in. It was so adorable! There was a little kitchen, a little living room, two bedrooms, and two bathrooms. The best part? The beach was right outside the back door.

Despite Steve's earlier declaration that he never wanted to drive again, we did end up driving to the grocery store, where we got food like real people. Like groceries that real people eat. 

The next morning, I was woken up by Winnie saying: "Heather! Go look outside! It's a beautiful day!" I was so excited that I rolled out of bed and ran straight to the ocean to dip my toes in. If I could wake up every day to such a declaration, I would not even mind that. 

The rest of our time in Newport Beach is a blur of frozen bananas, sand castles, honkin huge starfish, beachside barbecues, healthy people, frisbee lessons, souvenir shopping, Jersey Shore, $300 palm trees, and absolutely no hanky panky.

H: I have a coupon for a free package of hot dogs if we want to use that?

T: For where?

W: Any grocery store. Anywhere that sells balls.....

"You're gorgeous, don't stop!" -Skater boy

"And tell Steve he's the luckiest man in California. He's driving around with the three most powerful women currently in California....he could run for governor right now if he wanted to. I never would have been able to get 3 girls to go to the beach with me. I want to know what kind of aftershave he's wearing!" -my dad

Beach Bum #1: Hey, where did I park my Mercedes?

Beach Bum #2: I think it was next to my BMW...

Beach Bum #3: Oh yeah, didn't we double-park?

"Hey Steve. If you really want, you can kiss me on the cheek, since the sun is setting on the beach." -Christine

S: Kimmy used to kick me there all the time.

K: Yeah, and every time I did, my dad would like pull aside and tell me why I couldn't do that. And I still. Did it.

S: I'd love to just....sit on the beach in a beach chair and have a talk with Jesus.

H: You're so California....

H: I feel like we aren't being as funny today.

Ch: That's because we actually got some sleep....

"I was in the bathroom, getting fresh to death, like I do....." -Mike (Jersey Shore)

T: And then she kinda just left me hangin'....

H: "Left me hangin'?" Is that really a phrase you want to be using in this story?