The world is your oyster!: How to Get a Date, Mormon Style.        
 
                 
     
       

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My name is Heather.

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Monday, May 9, 2011

How to Get a Date, Mormon Style.

Step 1. Be single.

Step 2. Make a passing comment to your sister or brother or mom about an unfamiliar face in church that belongs to a boy who might be about your age.

Step 3. Do nothing.

I'm serious. If you have followed steps 1 and 2 correctly, everything else will follow. Are you a little confused by the vagueness of the instructions in step 2? Don't fret. They are vague because it really doesn't matter what you say. As long as you do not give the impression that you were thoroughly disgusted by the newcomer, you have done all you need to do.

Here are a few examples of some things you might consider saying:

"Did you see that new boy sitting with the [insert family name here]s? I wonder where he's from."

or, "The boy across the aisle from us has kind of a long nose."

or, "That is a real nice tie that boy on the stand is wearing."

or, "Hmmm. I've never seen him before."

After you have performed this task, someone else will take over. Maybe it will be the lady with whom you team-teach in primary. Perhaps it will be the sister in your ward who once gave your mother a KitchenAid. Or the Young Women's leader who runs half-marathons every year for her birthday. And then again, it could be your own mother, in a burst of motherliness such as she deems appropriate for such a day as Mother's Day.

All I'm saying is, you can never be too careful. The sisters in the Relief Society love a good matchmaking sesh and they are an excellent team. Everyone knows everyone else, and everyone knows someone who is talented in just the right way or knows just the right piece of information about someone else. These ladies know who to direct their questions to. They know the numbers to call.

Don't worry if you suddenly discover that your Friday has been planned out for you. You can rest assured that the ladies of the Relief Society would never pair you up with an ineligible suitor. (At least not intentionally.)

You also shouldn't worry if your reputation precedes you, and suddenly you learn that you are not so humdrum as you may have thought. You may have been glorified a little bit in the matchmaking process. That's okay. Embrace it. So now you golf professionally? How nice! You are so crafty that everyone else agrees that you ought to open your own boutique? Well, why not. While you are busy with that, go ahead and congratulate yourself on your performance in the recent spelling bee. You world traveler, you.

PS. I just accidentally bought 3 new pairs of shoes, 2 pairs of boots for the winter and some canvas boat shoes for the summer. WAIT. I promise I haven't forgotten everything I learned from reading the Frugalista Files. The boots were on sale! And I got free shipping! And altogether, it only cost $54.40. What whatttt :)

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