The world is your oyster!: Unorthodox Scripture Studies        

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My name is Heather.

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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Unorthodox Scripture Studies

Mom and Dad went out tonight. So I was in charge. After dinner, I was sitting in the living room, doing something on my laptop. Julie was in the kid study, watching something on the computer. Jacob was downstairs watching TV. Sarah was diddling around, not bothering a soul. All was peaceful until Joseph went downstairs and tried to take the TV from Jacob.

I heard the door open as he went down to the basement. I heard Jacob saying hello. I heard Jacob saying, "Hey!" I heard the beginnings of a squabble.

I said, "Joseph! I need you!" He and Jacob both came tumbling upstairs, both protesting their greater need for the use of the TV. A remote control was thrown. I decided it was time for Scripture Study. I called Julie in. She ran in and sat down, doing a sort of potty dance.

"I have 9 minutes left of my movie and I have to finish it!" she said by way of explanation.

I called Sarah in. She waltzed in, scriptures in hand, the picture of a perfect child.

I gave the assignment. "I want everyone to think about the last 10 minutes and think of something you did that was not the right thing to do. Or just something that Jesus would not have done. And then I need you to look up a scripture about what you should have done instead, or what will happen if you keep doing that thing. So if you told a lie in the past 10 minutes, you can look up a scripture about how liars go to Hell."

Jacob had one in a matter of seconds. When I asked him to share, he said: "1 Ne 2:22. And inasmuch as thou shalt keep my commandments, thou shalt be made a ruler and a teacher over thy brethren."

Alright. Excellent Jacob.

"Jacob," I said, "that is not about something you did wrong. Try again."

"But I didn't do anything wrong!"

"No? You don't think so? Well maybe you should look up a scripture on humility then," I suggested. D&C 88:100

Sarah raised her hand. "Go ahead, Sarah," I said.

"Okay, mine is in Ezekiel...."

"I HAVE ONE!" Julie exclaimed. "It's...."

I cut her off and turned the time back to Sarah. As Sarah read what turned out to be the wrong scripture (something about loving your wife) I noticed Julie abandoning her first scripture and flipping frantically through the index in search of another one. We moved on to Julie while Sarah looked for the right scripture.

Julie shared D&C 88:122, which says "Appoint among yourselves a teacher, and let not all be spokesmen at once; but let one speak at a time and let all listen unto his sayings, that when all have spoken that all may be edified of all, and that every man may have an equal privilege." Julie explained that she had chosen this scripture because she had just barely tried to interrupt Sarah. We all smiled at the timeliness of her choice.

Sarah, by now, had realized her mistake. She had turned to Ecclesiastes 9:9 rather than Ezra 9:9. Now she read us a much more fitting scripture about cleanliness and shamefacedly admitted that she hadn't showered yet today. Or cleaned her room. We benevolently forgave her.

Joseph chose D&C 56:8, which is about pride and selfishness. I was very proud of him.

Then he helped Jacob find a scripture about slothfulness. Then all the issues in the house were resolved. And that's how I know the church is true.




  2. hahahaha Sarah, I'm glad you wrote that in all caps. Thanks for that.