Saturday, July 31, 2010
A Collection of Sample Spoons
Thursday, July 22, 2010
L-O-L-O-L-O-L-O-V-E
I love love. I mean, I really love it. I love how it feels, looks, and how it smells. What was once a marked appreciation for a nice feeling suddenly skyrocketed, transforming me into a sappy, quick-to-tears, walking blob of estrogen. Maybe it is because I just recently saw my mom, and she has a tendency to get teary-eyed, too. Maybe I have developed a hormonal imbalance. Whatever. I don't know how this happened, but it did.
A few days ago, I was visiting my grandparents at their new senior community. We had just finished helping them move some things, and we were taking the cart back down to the basement. An elderly man in a wheelchair asked if he could use it before we put it away, and we ended up helping him move a filing cabinet from his room to the storage space downstairs. On the way, he told us that he had been married for 68 years.
"How did you propose to your wife?" my mom asked.
"Oh," he said, smiling, "Now that's a story."
My attention was suddenly riveted on this man and his story.
He told about how his wife had grown up on a farm. Her family had quite a bit of land, and he would help her with her chores on the farm while they were courting. He said, "One day, she was gathering eggs, from the hen house. And I was with her. And I said....I asked her: 'How would you like to have a ring?'"
Wait. Had I missed something? Was this the proposal? Surely there was more coming - fireworks, or a white stallion, or a ring hidden in the hen house somewhere! I continued listening.
"And she said, 'I would like that very much.' And I said, 'Now I want you to think about this, because this...it's going to be forever. So why don't you talk to your mother about it, and then let me know what your answer is.'"
This must be it, I thought. Now she's going to passionately declare that she doesn't need to talk to her mother about it, that she's already made up her mind. She's going to say yes and they're going to kiss and then she's going to crack an egg on his head and it'll start a good-natured chicken egg fight shared by the newly engaged couple. Something like that. I was certain that the story was just around the corner.
"And that was it?" my mom asked. "Just like that?"
"Yep!" said the man, beaming. "She talked to her mother and then we got married three months later. And now, it's been 68 years."
"What a great story!" my mom exclaimed. We talked for a little bit longer and then met up with our own grandparents. I continued to think about that story for the rest of the day.
Sometimes, when I think of love, I immediately think of big extravagant demonstrations. A man getting down on one knee under the New Years Eve fireworks in Times Square in front of news cameras, finally popping the question. Johnny Lingo offering eight cows for the privilege of marrying Mahana, the sad and undervalued island girl. Scavenger hunts leading back to where a couple first met, where they are serenaded by Michael Buble just before the man slips a ring on the girl's finger. I think of Westley overcoming every possible obstacle for Princess Buttercup, of rose petals trailing back to my room on Valentine's Day.
But there's another part of love that I forget about sometimes. And I don't think I'm alone in this oversight.
It's easy to forget about the hours Belle spent in the library, reading with the Beast. More often, we just remember that he gave her a huge, beautiful library. We don't see, on TV, the months or years that the couple in Times Square spent together, going out to lunch, talking, meeting each other's families. When we tell our own stories, we focus on monumental events that obviously move the story forward, and sometimes, the real story gets lost in the cracks.
Falling in love is such a slippery thing to talk about. Holding hands in the dollar theater; suddenly remembering in the middle of class that there is a boy that you like who likes you; watching a movie and listening to his heartbeat and wanting to stay and listen to it forever....these are all things that don't fit well in the story we tell to other people, but they are the things that mean the most to us.
I don't think love was meant to be loud and cacophonous, hitting us over the head or blaring through the hallways of our minds. I think it's best when it comes slowly and naturally. After all, we're just people, and all we have to express ourselves with is our words. And love is just fragile, and often misunderstood. We clumsily struggle to put whatever we are feeling into whatever words we have. We usually fail, and that's when we resort back to good old-fashioned "I love you," only this time, we throw in all the bells and whistles.
I didn't expect to hear such a simple story, about a tentative marriage proposal in a chicken coop, but that was the story I heard. And the man who told it thought that it was the best story in the world, because it was his love story with his wife. His eyes twinkled when he talked about her. He was enamored with her. I felt strangely emotional when I realized this.
That, in turn, made me feel ridiculous.
I hope my hormones balance themselves out quickly, because it's becoming debilitating. I go on facebook and am almost brought to tears as I browse through wedding pictures of people I hardly know. I see a couple holding hands and I get a catch in my throat. I think my condition is only exacerbated by my location; Provo is swarming with couples and would-be couples. I don't really know what I should, or can do about it.
While we were at the nursing home, my grandma showed us one of her old notebooks. She had written all kinds of things in it, from grocery lists, to poems, to journal entries. At one point, she had written a poem for each member of the family for FHE. I copied down the poem she had written for my grandpa. It says:
"Oh Darling, precious husband mine
How good thou art, how sweet and kind
What pleasure, joy, and comfort, too
Daily you bring to me from you.
Our life together has been so gay
You're in my prayers both night and day
That together we may ever be
Throughout all eternity!"
Friday, July 16, 2010
Here's What I Like:
Monday, July 12, 2010
Heather ≠ Canada.
I recently began working at the Writing Center on campus. I'm an intern right now, and I'll start actually tutoring people in the fall. So far, my time at the Writing Center has been interesting.
I found out about working at the Writing Center from Jordan Lee. She was one of Kelly's roommates when they were freshmen, and she's been a good friend since then. In fact, she's been a really great friend! We stayed at her house for a few days when I was about to start my freshman year, and she actually introduced me to Jake, who I dated for about six months before his mission. She worked in the Writing Center and inspired me to apply to work there, too.
Jordan is just about the nicest person you will ever meet. She is so sweet and thoughtful, and also hilarious. I laugh so hard whenever we hang out, even though it isn't as often as I would like! When I applied for the Writing Center, I imagined myself working with a room full of Jordans. They would all welcome me lovingly, and under their care and tutelage, I would become a very successful tutor. We would laugh and bond.
From what I've seen so far, Jordan was just Jordan, and her behavior and personality cannot be used to predict the behavior or personalities of the other tutors. They are all very unique.
Brandon is the first tutor I met. He and Emily interviewed me before I was offered a job there. I was nervous and it seemed like Emily didn't like smiling very much, so I kind of looked at Brandon the whole time. He is married and here is how he described his relationship with his wife: "I can't really remember what I did this weekend. You know why? I just, I was with my wife. We just have so much fun together all the time, we just have fun. So it all kinda blurs together. I can't remember what I did this weekend.....I was hanging out with her. We....I don't know. It was fun." He is very nice and always asks me how my weekend was.
My first day as an intern, I sat at a table separate from the real tutors, mainly because they were involved in a heated argument about determinism, liberal ideals, and therapists. I was both intimidated and uninterested, so I just stayed at the table where Brandon had just finished a tutorial that I observed.
On my second day, I came in, put my bags in the closet in the back room, and then sat down at the table I had been sitting in on my first day. Kylie, one of the newer tutors, turned to me and said, "Hi Heather. How was your weekend?" I replied, "Hi Kylie. It was good! How was yours?" "Lovely," she said.
What a pleasant place this is! I thought to myself. How lucky I am to work with such friendly people. You can imagine my surprise when, immediately after this exchange, I heard an angry voice addressing me from across the table: "Why are you sitting there? It makes me feel awkward."
I looked across the table where a girl with orange hair was glaring indignantly at me, as if I had personally affronted her by my seat of choice. I was confused and alarmed and didn't really know what to do.
"You can sit by me," Kylie offered. I smiled nervously, picked up my things, and sat at the table with the tutors. The girl with orange hair continued scowling at me. A little flustered, I dropped my eyes and tried to concentrate on the Sudoku puzzles in the newspaper.
The other tutors introduced themselves, or were introduced by their nicer colleagues. Chloe was the name of the girl who I somehow had seemingly offended beyond repair.
This is the conversation that followed:
me: *sitting quietly reading my assignment for the next class*
Chloe: Canada.
*no one responds because she is crazy. I continue reading.*
Chloe: intern.
me: *looking up*
Chloe : I'm going to call you Canada from now on.
me: *confused* I'm from Maryland.....?
Chloe: I know you're from Maryland.
me: ummm....
Chloe: your name is Canada, deal with it.
me: *alarmed and questioning my new career*
Just to clarify, I am going to list some reasons
Why "Canada" is not a good nickname for me:
1. I am American. I like America. In fact, I love it! I wrote two blog posts about it earlier this month, in case you feel the need to look for verification of this.
2. I am from Maryland. I'm not from Canada. I don't have like, any Canadian in me. If we want to give out nicknames based on ethnicity or heritage, then Europe would probably be more appropriate for me, even though I don't really want to be called that either.
3. You can only really give nicknames to your friends. There has to be some sort of inside joke that the two of you share, or something that prompts the nickname. In this case, there was no foundation of a friendship or inside jokes.
Despite all this, every time I work at the Writing Center, I feel more comfortable there. I am getting to know more of the tutors and most of them are very nice.
One thing I don't like about the Writing Center is that the conversation is largely cynical and sometimes, downright hateful. This happens because the people who work there like to be philosophical, and they also like to be right. They like talking about politics, why they are not married, and "stupid people." I don't think that being a tutor is the best choice for everyone, because apparently it makes some people believe that they are better than most people everyone.
All in all, I'm glad to be at the Writing Center. I already feel like I've learned a lot, and once I get started tutoring, I think I will get better at it, and it will be very enjoyable.
Everyone in Utah should come in and visit me :)