Tremble

If you get the dictionary.com Word of the Day, you know that there is also a Quote of the Day. Today's quote was:

"Tremble: your whole life is a rehearsal for the moment you are in now." -Judith Malina

I don't know if I really believe that I should tremble. But you know who should? Courtney! Because we're about to start a blog about her. And all of the other lovely ladies on the Bachelor. And of course, the Bachelor himself. This season is already well underway, so the rest of the season will be a sort of rehearsal for the blog. We'll be experimenting with lots of different ideas and if all goes well, we'll be back for the Bachelorette!

Tremble, Courtney. Tremble, Ben. You good dad, you. Kacie B. - you probably don't have to tremble. We're on your team :)

We am sorry

I just want to say, since I can't say this anywhere else, that I have about a million complaints against my math teacher. I'm not going to list my complaints, I just want to rant for a second.


We had an assignment worth 20 points that I turned in and got 15 points on. My score appeared on gradebook a week ago. I could see the comments on it yesterday. For whatever reason, gradebook wouldn't let me access them until then. The first comment says:



1. REALLY?? Dr. Monroe and I am sorry? Before you think I am psycho for getting so upset over a simple grammatical error, you should know that my math teacher.....my math teacher, spent literally 40 minutes of the second class period talking to us about the importance of conventions and using correct grammar and sentence structure and making our writing professional and only turning in really polished work. Why the hey does that say "Dr. Monroe and I am sorry" when it should say "Dr. Monroe and I are sorry."



2. Dear TA, I are sorry that there is no meaning or joy in your life. I are sorry that you have nothing better to do than send out snippy emails that people will have to scroll down to read. And by the way, those millions of pictures on facebook of you kissing your sister over and over and over again, are awkward.


3. The comments weren't made available to me until yesterday so there was no way I could have looked at your gay comments and fixed anything until then.


4. You are a TA. You are no better than me. And your grammar is no better than mine. In fact, it is worse.

5. And furthermore, a college education costs thousands of dollars. And I don't work 2 and a half jobs so I can give 160 minutes of my week to attending a class "taught" by an idiot and her snarky minion of a TA.

Whoo. Sorry about this negative post. I was just about to write back and say, "I are sorry that I didn't see these comments before," and I knew that wouldn't be a good choice, so I just had to blog about it instead.



Positive things:



I got free food last night!

I got a free donut this morning!

Jacob fixed my bracelet!

I had bonding time with the roommate last night!

I haven't slipped on the ice / snow / slush yet!

Bachelor is tonight!



Hopefully that list evens everything out and you leave here feeling happy again :)

EW, YO! (Eat What You Order)

One day, I was a Disney College Intern. I lived in Florida and I was immensely happy. And I blogged about it.

Then, that chapter of my life came to an end and the chapter called, "One day, I was a Disney College Campus Rep" opened. And it, too, was a glorious chapter.

And it's actually still going on.

Every semester, John the recruiter comes and tells other BYU kids to apply for a Disney internship.

In order to be a better blogger, I decided to include pictures and went to trusty google to find one. Unfortunately, John is kind of elusive.

This is not John the recruiter.

Aaaaand, neither is this.

Oh, but this is. John is the one standing at the far left, holding up something green. He is my favorite man.

Ahem. I mean, almost my favorite man.

And here is why: because every time he comes to town, he takes all the campus reps to dinner at Goodwood Barbecue. Last time, I was pumped out of my head at the prospect of a free meal and I ordered something super-expensive and super-delicious. I was jittery with excitement today when I found out that tonight was the night I would repeat that experience.

Then John said, "Hey everyone! Order whatever you like, but please eat what you order."

Being the poor and slightly shameless college student that I am, I had actually been planning on eating a little and then having the rest of my meal spread out over the rest of the week. When John spoke, I heard his statement as, "Don't order a buttload of food with the intention of boxing it up, you poor and slightly shameless college student."

I thought, "Okay. That's a reasonable request. I can probably eat like half of the meal."

Then John ordered appetizers. And I ordered strawberry lemonade. I ate:

2 potato skins. That were literally as long as my index finger. So, not that big at all.

One of these onion rings. ONE, guys.

and drank a whole glass of strawberry lemonade. (I don't know what came over me.)

And all of a sudden, my stomach got confused and told me that I had just eaten an entire horse. I thought, "Listen, tomach. I have not gotten my meal yet. I haven't even gotten the salad yet. And John specifically said to eat what we order. So you just hurry up and clear some room."

My tomach did not comply.

Then the waiter brought out my caesar side salad. And my 1/2 of a barbecue chicken. And my pecan sweet potatoes. And my cornbread muffin. And another strawberry lemonade.

I looked over at John. "Listen John," I said pleadingly. "I heard what you said about order what you eat. And I want you to know that whatever happens next is not me being deliberately disobedient to that request. I just ate those appetizers and now I am literally, so. Full."

"Oh! What did you get?" John asked jovially.

I gestured a little hesitantly at my feast.

"Bon apetit!" he said.

So I ate the whole thing.

Just kidding. This picture is from freshman year. Tonight at Goodwood, I maybe managed down 5 bites. Here is what I brought home:

Oh that looks like.....my whole entire meal? What? Also I got some strawberry lemonade to go.

And that is why I love John.

Why I Like the Daily Universe

Today, I was working on a group project in a random classroom in the MKB and a reporter for the Daily Universe came in and asked if he could interview us. He asked what we would want the school to improve on.

I said, "Free food." Because you know that is my favorite thing.

Less than an hour later, I went to the Writing Center to work. I discovered that I had to do a class visit. These are sometimes fun but sometimes not. I went downstairs and gave the class visit, a little bit nervous.

As I was leaving the classroom, two older men walked past me, holding an empty pizza box. They looked giddy and you know that I knew that that was because of the pizza box. I watched as they pointed another girl back to the room they had just left. Then I heard them say, "It's Brick Oven! And we're going to get more!"

When they got closer, I said, "What's the pizza for?"

They said, "It's Brick Oven! It's in there. We're going to get more."

I took that as an invitation. I went and helped myself to a delicious slice.

Well done, Daily Universe guy. That was very prompt.

A Close Call

Today I was walking around campus. A girl was walking in front of me, talking on her phone. I was thinking about homework, but my ears perked up when I heard her say "Courtney."

Courtney is a girl on The Bachelor. I am a girl who is obsessed with the Bachelor, so I had to listen.

Phone Girl said, "Well, he took Courtney on a date last week."

Bachelor fan? I think so. I continued listening.

"You know, Courtney? She has, like, brown hair?"

Brown hair: check.

"Yeah, so anyway, he took Courtney on a date last week and this week - "

I instantly felt panicked. I hadn't watched The Bachelor from this week yet! What was I doing, listening to this conversation? Phone Girl was going to spoil something! Should I start running in the opposite direction? Hum loudly as I rush past her? Snatch the phone out of her hands and tell her to knock it off??

I did none of those things. I stood frozen in place.

Phone Girl said, " - and this week, she was all mad because he hasn't txted her yet."

My brain got confused.

Phone Girl said, "That's what I said! I was like, Courtney. Did you txt him to thank him for the date? And she hadn't! She was all, That's his job. And I'm like, No, Courtney. It's only polite for you to txt the boy after the date if you had fun. Like, I always do."

I guess there is more than one Courtney in the world. And apparently, one of them lives in Provo, Utah and went on a date last week.

Sorry, Plane Buddy

Yesterday I bid my family a tearful farewell and got on a jet plane back to P-town. Nicole and I were travel buddies and I've never had such an enjoyable flight!

I'm sure the guy sitting next to us has had many more enjoyable flights.

His flight started with security and checking in, which no one enjoys. Then he boarded with the C group. Also not ideal. Then he walked all the way to the back of the plane. He saw two cute girls. He thought his day was looking up. He asked if he could sit with them. They said sure. His heart rejoiced.

Then one of them stood on his seat for 5 minutes looking for Ibuprofen and headphones for the other one.

Then they pulled out a 5-course meal.

He opened his Southwest-provided magazine. He browsed through, looking for a conversation-starter. He found it. He nudged the girl sitting next to him. He said, "Are you girls freshmen in college?"

The girl next to him got a sour look on her face. She said, "Senior." And turned back to her phone. The one by the window said, "Sophomore," in a little bit nicer of a voice.

This conversation wasn't going exactly how he had planned. He didn't know what to do. He tried to just jump back in. He pointed at the picture. It said, "On average, college freshmen girls gain 3.1 lbs in their first semester of school."

The girls looked at the picture. They read the words. They looked at him. His heart sank at their confused (and mildly insulted) expressions. The girls said, "Hmmm."

Then they jammed headphones in their ears and proceeded to fall asleep, lounging all over each other. When they woke up, they giggled and chattered. How was the poor boy supposed to know they weren't freshmen in college?

He thought about making amends. He offered them his peanuts. They politely declined. He ate them all. The girls ate some more of their 5-course meal.

When they landed, he tried one more time. The conversation quickly fell flat. And when they saw each other again at the baggage claim, one of the girls was chattering with her friend and the other was kissing her boyfriend.