High Society

I'm usually a very average person. Just an ordinary girl, you know? But on Saturday, March 3, I was a member of the social elite at BYU. I wore heels.

I dined in a dress.

I may have been on TV! I mingled with famous people.

I danced to classy music. And I did it all for a cause.

Here are some tips for anyone interested in entering this world:

1. Don't wear your pearl necklace that you made by stringing pearls together on a piece of floss. It might break. And the pearls might bounce all over the floor of the swanky art gallery you are perusing before dinner. And even though well-dressed ushers might gracefully pick up a pearl or two and discreetly hand them to you, you might still be embarrassed. Especially when you sneak off to the bathroom and find about 20 more pearls hanging out in your dress.

2. There will be a coat check. You might hang your coat next to a fur coat! This will add to your feelings of swankiness.

3. It's nice to introduce yourselves to the people whose table you randomly join, but it's not really necessary to try to engage them in conversation for the rest of the night. No big deal :)

4. Pick the dark roll. It's the best one.

5. If you take a couple pokes at the grape tomato in your salad and you can't pick it up, leave it alone. It's not edible and you don't have to eat it.

6. Don't put your gum under the lip of the first plate, thinking you can just take it off right before they take it away and put it on the next plate that comes around. You will probably forget one time. And then it'll be game over, my friend.

7. No one pays attention to which fork you eat with. But as a general rule, start from the outside and go in.

8. When you are performing at such a swanky event, it is alright to go up to one of the guests and drink their water and sample their dessert.

9. Apparently purple is a very "in" color right now.

10. Even when dining with the socially elite, if someone holding the microphone says the "p" word, there will be nervous titters that go rippling through the audience. And that will happen every time he says it (three times).

11. The really good dancers are too busy being awesome at dancing to judge you if you have no idea what you're doing. Which means it is perfectly acceptable to end every dance with a ridiculous pose.

Good luck on your entrance into high society! I hope this list helps and that you enjoy your debut as a socialite as much as I did. Does anyone have any other advice?