Splish splash

At this point, I think it's pretty evident that I love EFY. But there is one thing that I don't love about it, and that is The Water Challenge.

Every week, the Health Counselor comes out and gives a little spiel in which she reminds everyone that it is hot, and that water should be ingested as often as possible throughout the week to avoid any dehydration. She then adds an incentive: whichever company drinks the most water, and tells her about it in the most creative / funny / cool way, will have the grand privilege of pouring a cooler of ice-cold water on their counselors.

The kids love it. They make up skits, songs, and poems. They bring their empty water bottles to the health counselors as a sort of [unburnt] burnt offering. They write letters, draw pictures, and break into spontaneous cheers to demonstrate their commitment to, and affection for, water.

The counselors also love it. They buy their kids colorful post cards and encourage them to write love letters to water on them. They stand by the cooler every mealtime, making sure that everyone in their company gets a water bottle. They stand around in patches of shade, fanning themselves, chattering about how they hope their company wins.

And then, there's me. The lone counselor who doesn't get into it. The black sheep who, shockingly, doesn't want water poured on me. The odd duck who actually encourages her group to grab soda and skip the water table.

My first week, I was just kind of quiet about it. I didn't actively discourage my group from trying to win. My opposition to the program showed itself in a tiny sigh of relief when another company won and I watched a counselor, who was not me, get soaked.

This week, I couldn't even contain myself. I don't know why! I just couldn't bring myself to keep my head down! So I told my group, straight-up, that I did not want to win the water challenge. I told them honestly how I felt about having water poured on me, how sad I feel when my hairs and makeup get all messed up. I looked earnestly into their eyes as I told them my concerns.

Then I.....pooped out a box of fruit roll-ups? 

Well I don't know why, but for some reason, my pleas fell on deaf ears. And while I spent the first half of the week frantically begging them to put the [water] bottle down, they spent that time chugging and gulping and asking for refills. Also, my co-counselors got way into it.

I was so alone.

Luckily, one person was on my side: Alaura, the health counselor. The decider of the winning company, and as it follows, the decider of my fate. She stood to announce the winners, and once again, I experienced the joy of seeing another (6) counselors get soaked.

I walked away from another water challenge, happily dry. 

My loss might have gone to my head a little tiny bit. I might have said a few little things like, "Hey guys, remember that time we lost the water challenge?" and "Whew, good day to lose the water challenge!"

My happiness got a little smudged when the boys formed a huddle and refused to let the girls know what they were talking about. Since I obviously had the Spirit with me, I had an inkling that they were plotting a way to dump water on me. And this inkling made me a little paranoid.....

.....which paranoia manifested itself in the form of me refusing to go anywhere without my phone and me yelling at my boys that they couldn't pour water on me because they would get my phone wet if they did.

The next day, I was sitting at lunch, happily eating, when one of the boys came over to me. "Heather, can I see your phone?" he asked, eyes wide. 

My heart jumped. (But not like that.)

"NO!" I shouted, clutching it closer. 

"I just want to put my number in it - " he continued.

"I know what you want!" I cried. "You just want to take away my phone so you can pour water on me! But it's not going to happen!" I pulled my iPad out and put that securely in my lap too, just for extra safety. 

In a few minutes, I was happily eating my dinner and back to normal conversation with my kids. I didn't notice Saxey inching closer to me. 

And then - "GET HER!" he shouted, scooping up my iPad and phone and running away with them. 

"No!" I screamed, and jumped to my feet. The first wave of water came crashing into my face and I ran blindly, trying to get away from the attack. 

I ran straight into a fence. Where I stood for what seemed like five minutes, sadly holding my dinner, trying to turn in any direction where I could avoid the splashes. Of course, there was no avoiding it. As it came to an end, I heard a voice from my left. 

"Oh my goodness, what are you guys doing to poor He -"

Papa G's faux-sympathetic reprimand was cut short as my unfinished potatoes and BBQ sauce exploded on his face in a glorious meeting of food and skin. 

He deserved it. He was the mastermind. I'm not sorry :)

Og-scuse Me??

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from doing EFY this summer, it is that getting to EFY to start off the week is always much more trouble than it should be.

You may remember the lovely adventure I had getting to Cincinnati. Here’s how this week started off:

Sunday

1:00 I go to my Singletree ward, which I love.

4:15 I leave said Singletree ward. I hurry home to pack, cram a donut down my throat, and look up directions to the Institute building in South Jordan (where I am contracted to work this week).

5:00 I leave my apartment with one suitcase, my scripture bag, my makeup bag, my shower bag, my school bag, and my purse. (I’m really good at making the right amount of pasta for any occasion / recipe / appetite. I’m not as good at packing the right amount of clothes / jewelry / hair flowers / shoes / knickknacks / crafting utensils for any trip that will take me away from my house for longer than 3 hours.)

6:00 I arrive at the Institute building in South Jordan. I meet a few people and sit through the meeting.

7:00 The coordinators in charge of the session call me out. They tell me they hate me and to leave immediately and never come back.

7:00 Okay actually that’s not what they said. They just said that they need one more counselor in Ogden and would I be willing to go? I said I could if they could get housing for me.

7:15 I leave Jordan and drive all the way to Ogden. I might have gotten lost once or twice five times. Just for a second.

8:15ish I arrive in Ogden. I get passed around from group to group until I finally find my BC group. They smile nicely at me. I get all the papers I need. I meet the girl I am going to be staying with this week. We smile nicely at each other. She asks me if I would be okay with just sleeping on a couch, and also told me that she is babysitting a turtle this summer, but she broke the tank, and it’s an aquatic turtle, so it is currently swimming around in her bathtub….so we’re going to have to use my downstairs neighbor’s bathroom for showering.

You can imagine how all of this made me feel.

But then, listen, guys. I followed her in my car to her house. And it is literally a 2 minute drive. And it is the cutest house. And the couch is huge, like the size of a twin bed. And she fed me chicken and real-people salad. And she has a puppy which is the cutest thing ever. And her downstairs neighbors are actually just downstairs roommates, so it’s not like I have to walk outside and go in someone else’s house to use the shower. And their shower is nicer than mine is at Raintree.

And I’m happy to be here. 

"Eventually!" Freaks Yelp

The whole week at EFY is super spiritchal, but Thursday is the spiritchal day. *Note: I do know how to spell spiritual, but because of this lady, I always think it's funner to spell it like "spiritchal."*

Anyway, Thursday was full of wonderful things. We went to classes, had a "Living Christ" activity, and learned about what a testimony is. I think my favorite class was Brother Huso's. The Husos the session-directing couple and I want to be just like them when I grow up. 

They are the quintessential Mormon couple; she is tan, blonde, and teeny, he's tan, muscular, and kind-smiley. They both have perfect teeth and do things like hold hands in the hall and fall asleep on each other during the variety show. He runs Iron Man competitions and is a high school principal, seminary teacher, bishop, and swimming enthusiast. She stays at home with their 5 (obviously beautiful) kids, runs marathons, and is an adorable session director's wife. I could go on. 

This is the Husos with one of my girls :)

So as I was saying about Brother Huso's class: on Wednesday, he came around and asked all the counselors what their group needed to hear, and what he should talk about. He started off by showing our answers, and almost every single counselor said something about how their girls needed to know that they are beautiful and awesome and have self-worth and blablabla. 

Then he showed a picture of the Mesa, Arizona temple. 

"So, we're from Arizona," he said. "And this is our temple. And I hate our temple." There were a few gasps and some nervous laughter. "Look at it," he went on. "It's so dumb. Who designed that? It's all boxy...." He clicked to the next slide.

"At least we don't have to go to the Provo temple though. I mean, is this temple a joke? It looks like a cupcake. And that steeple.  I don't know what the designers were thinking." Click.

"I wish I was from San Diego," he sighed. "They have a beautiful temple. Look at it. It looks like a castle. Wooooow. Now that is a temple." Click.

"Salt Lake has a pretty temple, too," he continued. "People come from all over to see this temple. No one comes from all over to see - " clickclickclick " - this temple."

He turned to the girls. "How many of you wanted to punch me when I was talking about my Arizona temple that way?" Lots of girls laughed and raised their hands. "Good!" he said. "How do you think Heavenly Father feels when you talk about yourselves that way? What do you think God cares about more: bricks, or flesh and blood?" 

During this class, he also shared txts that he had the boys send in with a message that they wanted to give to the girls. Most of them consisted of the words "You don't know you're beautiful!" (very original) or "You are beautiful daughters of God!" 

But one or two said things like, "Sarah, this is Jake, and you're my COW! Here's my number. Txt me!"

And you know I teased Counselor Sarah about that. 

Thursday was also Variety Show Day. My group had the final act and it was awe-some! If you are my friend on facebook, I thinkkk you can see it with this link.

If not, I'm sorry. Trust me that it was awesome. And know that I didn't learn the dance, since every time they practiced it was when I was doing variety show tryouts, but I got really excited when they were doing it, so I just danced along in the back. And I reminded myself of Regina George's mom. 

  

Friday was also full of wonderful things. Such as.....

Finishing our morning devotional and opening the door to see this sign (above) that the boys in my company made for my girls. All together now: awwwwww :)

Hanging out with my broder. Who is so spiritchal and awesome and taller than me?? Yeah I'm still trying to get over that one. 

Taking pictures as a company. This is me with the boys who made that wonderful sign, and shared their soda, and asked me to interpret their dreams every mealtime. 

Being secretly photographed every time Dalin and I sat next to each other. 

Or planned Devotional together. 

Or walked around together. 

Or ate together. 

Sometimes the pictures were taken through the leaves of potted plants.

Dalin often begged my girls to take more pictures of us together. He was loving the attention. 

And thus ended a wonderful week in Cincinnati.

Elephants Freakishly Yawn

On Wednesday, EFY could have stood for "Especially For Yum" because I ate the yummiest food ever on that day. The cafeteria workers at Xavier could not have been more welcoming and sweet to us the whole time we were there. They called us "baby" and "honey bun" and heaped gourmet food onto our plates as we scooted on through the lines.

On Wednesday, I was on Variety Show tryouts duty with counselors Chris and James. I loved this job because

- I got to see everyone try out. 

- The youth were all so cute and confident, all ready to go with their talents. 

- I got to be Paula, leaving Chris to be Randy and James to be Simon. 

I hated this job because

- There were like 45 acts that tried out and only 15 spots. 

- In my role as Paula Because I am an elementary school teacher, I hated the thought of rejecting any of these acts. Besides this one really bizarre act that just made me uncomfortable. It didn't hurt my feelings too bad when they didn't make it. 

- We were trying people out from the beginning of free time to the end of dinnertime. That is four hours, my friend. 

Thankfully, the cafeteria workers were so nice and let us come eat dinner there anyway. 

The next part of "Yum" happened at Pizza Night. I ordered pizza, but I forgot to get soda. Actually I didn't forget. I just got flustered. Dalin was on the phone and put it down for a second and said, "Do you need soda?" And I hadn't asked my girls if they wanted soda, and I knew if I said yes then he would ask what kind, and I just didn't think I could handle that, so I said no. 

Then, of course, my girls had to ask if I had gotten soda. I told them no. They had a riot. I ran to the boys' floor, hoping Dalin would rescue us. He wasn't there yet, so I stood in the hallway, talking to the boys in my company. Our conversation went a little like this:

Me: Hi! Did you guys get soda?

Them: We don't know, Dalin's not back yet. 

Me: Oh, hmmm. That's okay. 

Them: .....Did you get soda?

Me: No! It's all my fault, I forgot to order it. 

Them: Oh man! 

Me: Yeah. My girls are about to stage a mutiny. 

Them: ......

Me: .....Yeppp. 

Them: Oh man. 

Me: I think Dalin did get soda. 

Them: Hmmm, maybe he did. 

Me: Oh that's so cool!

Them: ......

Me: Okay to be honest, I'm just hoping that if I stand here long enough, and tell that story enough times, then you will offer my girls some of your soda....

Them: Oh! You can have our soda! 

Me: Oh my gosh, really?? That is so nice! Okay maybe like, if he got 3 things of soda, we can have one. 

Them: Okay no how about, if he got 3 things, you can have two of them. 

Um?! Are these boys not the sweetest ever? They only requested hugs from all the girls. I enthusiastically promised them this. 

Pizza Night is fun because you get to talk about COW's (Crush Of the Week) and sing girly songs and there are no boys allowed. Unless they are dropping off soda for you :) Then they are totally allowed. And it's fun because pizza is delicious and girl talk is fun and sometimes your girls accidentally all start singing, as loudly as they can, a song about two specific counselors sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, and as we all know, that is the sign of a good party. 

Every Friend Yodels

Last week, I had the opportunity to be an EFY (Especially For Youth) counselor in Ohio. Don't ask me how I got this assignment. I know I'm from Maryland. I'm not really sure how it happened.

But since this was the job I was offered, I said okay and made plans to travel with my dad and brother, both of whom I love, and Lerone, who I do not love, to Cincinnati. Undeterred and only slightly discouraged by a series of dumb unfortunate events, in which

Lerone died 

and I cried 

and my dad sighed

and Joseph shut-eyed

and I turned into Dr. Suess,

I finally made it to Xavier University. 

^ this beautiful place!

This girl (below) gave me a nice hug and a summary of orientation. 

She's a peach. We were roommates once upon a time. Then she introduced me to my co-counselor, Dalin, and gave us time to plan and get acquainted. He said, "So tell me about yourself."

I hemmed and hawed for a little bit and then said, "I'm really good at interpreting dreams. I love dreams. Sometimes I have psychic dreams."

Disclaimer: I was really tired. I had woken up at 4 in the morning. For some reason, that seemed like it would be relevant / interesting / impressive. I just forgot that that's not the best way to introduce yourself, because you sound a little crazy. 

Dalin raised his eyebrows politely. "That's pretty cool...." he said. I think he was thinking of how possible it would be to get a new co-counselor. 

Finally I was allowed to go to bed. Ten hours after my head hit the pillow, the children arrived. 

(For those of you who don't know, EFY stands for Especially For Youth and is a week-long program for 14-18 yr old girls and boys where they go and learn about the church and make friends and play games and go to dances and have a grand old time. Everyone is put into groups of about 20-30, called companies, and assigned to a boy counselor and girl counselor, who are co-counselors with each other.)

I introduced myself to my girls. They were adorable. I loved them immediately. 

Other than that, Monday was pretty uneventful: We went outside to meet the boys. There were 12 girls and 8 boys, which is not the awesomest ratio, but is still awesomer than the group with 22 girls and 10 boys. Dalin walked around on his hands and offered my skills as a dream interpreter. We forced the reluctant youth to stand boy-girl-boy-girl. We played some games. We set some goals. We ate some dinner. We went to sleep. 

Tuesday was a classy day. As in, we had classes. It was also a little awkward when:

- I realized that I should have gone to EFY as a youth. Anddd at the same time I realized that I may have been the one getting in trouble for having my shorts too short. 

- I got syrup in my hair. And my co-counselor sweetly pointed out that this was the 2nd day in a row that I got something in my hair. 

- I accidentally referenced The Bachelorette and immediately felt like the worst EFY counselor. 

- Another counselor asked if my co and I were going to get married. 

- A boy pushed one of my girls against the wall, ran away, ran back, barked at her, and then ran away again. What??

- Dalin and I taught dance etiquette to our company and there was a riot when he told them how high on the back their hand should be. 

- One of the counselors saw a couple dancing really close, and he went up and danced by them and then slowly parted them and shimmied in-between them and said, "Leave room for Jesus!" and the girl looked at him like she wanted to kill him. And then later, all the counselors laughed about it. 

I'll blog more later about the rest of the week :)