A Disappointing Fairytale

Once upon a time, in the land of Orlando, there lived a princess who was one of the happiest girls in all the land. She spent much of her time at the Bibbidi-Bobbidi Boutique, doing hair for younger princesses, visiting the castle, and dreaming of the day that she would meet her Prince Charming. So you see, she was very much like other princesses, except for one thing: her fairy godmother.

Most princesses just have one fairy godmother, but this princess had several. She always had at least two, and sometimes, she had as many as eight or nine. You might think that this made her eight or nine times luckier than the other princesses, but it did not. And you'll see why when you've finished the story.

Every day at the Bibbidi-Bobbidi Boutique, there was a parade for all the princesses in the land. The princess in our story loved the parade, and went whenever she had the opportunity. She loved walking down the sparkly road, waving to and blowing kisses at all the people who came to see her.

One day, while walking with the other princesses in the parade, she saw him: Prince Charming. He was incredibly tall and handsome, with dark blonde hair, blue eyes and dimples. The princess was quite pleased to see him, and blew a kiss in his direction. She hoped that one day, they would meet and fall in love.

After the parade, she told her fairy godmothers all about the handsome prince. They insisted that she go on the parade again the following day so that she could point him out to them. The princess agreed. Perhaps her fairy godmothers could help her figure out how to meet the prince!

The next day, the princess went outside for the parade with all nine of her fairy godmothers, just as they had planned. As they passed the prince, her fairy godmothers knew who he was before she could even say a word. (He was the most handsome prince in the audience.) The princess finished up the parade, confident that afterwards, her fairy godmothers would be full of advice on how to talk to the prince.

However, that is not what happened, because after the parade, as they were getting ready to walk back to the Boutique, all of her fairy godmothers gathered around and insisted that she go up and introduce herself. The princess sighed and shook her head, having nothing to say to the prince and not wanting to meet him until she felt more ready. They walked past the prince without saying a word.

"Ohhh, princess!" her fairy godmothers lamented. "You should have said something. Here. We'll introduce you!"

"Oh, no!" cried the princess. "I'll talk to him another day."

But there were two fairy godmothers who would have none of this, named Gail and Marjorie. They left the group and marched right up to the prince.

"Please, no!" the princess exclaimed. When she saw that they would not be stopped, she turned to walk back to the Boutique, hoping that they wouldn't say anything too embarrassing. (She would find out later that they couldn't have possibly said anything more embarrassing than what they chose to say, which was:

Gail: Are you married?

Prince Charming: No....

Gail: Ok, gooood.

Marjorie: We have a [princess] who really wants to meet you!

Prince Charming: Are you sure you don't mean Brad?

Marjorie: What? No.

Gail: She really wants to meet you!)

As the princess was walking away, she heard her name being called. She had no choice but to turn around.

The prince was standing right next to her fairy godmothers, smiling over at her. "He wants to meet you!" Marjorie shouted.

And with that, the princess' life was over. She died on the spot.

(Almost the end. But it gets worse.)

Struggling to regain her composure, she walked over to the prince and said, "Hi," not knowing what else to say.

He extended his hand and said, "Hi, I'm Dan." As they shook hands and the princess introduced herself, trying to speak normally even though her face was as red as a poisoned apple, all the fairy godmothers suddenly left. And ran away and left. And left her and the prince all alone.

So they had no choice but to have an awkward conversation about where each other was from, where they went to school, and how much they enjoyed the parade and the pleasant Florida weather. And the princess, being completely unprepared and thoroughly embarrassed, had nothing witty or remotely interesting to say. And the prince did not fall in love with her.

And they never saw each other again, from that day forward, because the princess was too humiliated to ever walk in the parade again. And the prince was probably studiously avoiding the parade anyway.

And the princess never ever told her fairy godmothers any more of her hopes and dreams, except her dream of learning Portuguese. Which they were actually quite helpful with.

Oh my gosh

I talked to him. The boy from the parade who's really tall and has dimples.

It was possibly the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me, but I now know that the fairy godmothers who work in the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique with me are real live honest-to-goodness legit fairy godmothers. (Fada madrinha, in Portuguese. Which I'm trying to learn, for the benefit of 80% of the princesses who come in for makeovers.)

Pumbas, Parades, and my Prince Charming(s)

I am no longer "earning my ears," as they say, at the Bibbidy Bobbidy Boutique. As of Thursday, I have completed my training and am now a real live member of the cast at the Boutique. And I love it.

At the Boutique, we have some words that we use to keep up our Disney demeanor and perpetuate the delusions that everyone comes to Disney World armed with. Here are a few:

castle: break, as in lunch break. "I have to go to the castle now."

dungeon: bathroom. "I need to go to the dungeon, I'll be right back."

fairy godmother in training: me! also known as FGITs (pronounced "fidgets").

guest: customer. But everyone uses this term, all over Disney.

magical: annoying or difficult, as in a customer. "We had some magical parents this morning who were just not happy with anything. Even the grandmother was magical!"

pumbas: lice. Before putting up the girls' hair, we are supposed to casually comb through, checking for "pumbas." If we find them, we are supposed to leave their hair alone, do their makeup and nails, and ask a coworker to go get the "Lion King," or one of the managers. They will come, make sure it's lice, and then talk to the parents and get it all worked out. We don't have to do their hair after finding pumbas. Thank gooooodness.

That's all for the vocabulary lesson today.

Now for the perks of my job!

1. Great coworkers! I don't know all of them but they seem really nice, for the most part. Especially my trainer, Nadira. She has been so good to me this whole week and helped me through everything.

2. The hours. Are really not that bad, especially compared to other jobs. I will never get off later than 10, and most of the time, I won't even have to work past 7 or 8. And never earlier than 8:30.

3. Treasure! If the guests want to, they can put a tip in the wishing well. From there it gets all divided up and we collect our treasure every Thursday. Most of the other jobs here don't get that so I am super excited.

4. The hot chocolate machine. In the break room, there is a hot chocolate slash coffee machine that is freeeeeee! I had 4 hot chocolates during my breaks on my first two days of training. It was heavenly. But, I'm not really sure if this belongs on my list of perks, because on my third day of training, one of the FGIT's told me that they found a cockroach in the machine a few months ago. I haven't been able to swallow any more hot chocolate since hearing this horrible news.

5. The cute costumes. I hated them at first, but now I actually think they are really cute! I'll put up a picture soon.

6. The princess parade! Every day at 2, we gather up all the little princesses around Downtown Disney, where the Boutique is, and walk with them up to the carousel. We wave like princesses and blow kisses at all the shopkeepers, who come out to wave and blow bubbles at us. It is my favorite part of every work day. Especially because of perk #7.

7. Prince Charming. I do not know his real name, but he works at Downtown Disney and waves at us with a Mickey glove on his right hand, so I know he is single. He wears real people clothes, not a costume, so I know he is a manager, which means he is intelligent and a good worker and a leader. I see him talking and joking with the custodians, so I also know he is approachable, not stuck-up, and easy-going. He is tall and has dimples and one day, I will talk to him. Or he will talk to me. All I'm saying is, I am in love with him.

The title of this post says "Prince Charming(s)" because I am not really trying to limit myself to the mysterious man I see when I walk in the parade. One of my friends is a character attendant and has kindly offered to arrange a backstage makeout with Aladdin for me. I really am in no position to refuse.

Unless he is gay, which, sadly, is quite possible. Then I think it will be best if I just leave him to Jasmine.

Moroccans, Katzenjammers, and Gator Pee

I met some Moroccans last night. They gave me and my friends a tour of Epcot. And bought us baklava. I couldn't understand half of what they were saying, and two of them were pretty drunk so they kept doing dumb things like performing "magic tricks" where they made a cup disappear....haha but it was funny. We are sure they were suffering from katzenjammers today.

We spent most of our time in the "Morocco" part of Epcot, where we put on belly-dancing skirts over our clothes and danced around the store. A crowd gathered and started cheering for us, and I'm pretty sure they thought we were drunk too. (We were not.)

Today I didn't have work, so I just went to Walgreen's and bought some bottled water, tights, and postcards. I am not really a bottled water kinda girl but Florida is rapidly turning me into one. The water here tastes like gator pee and every time I take a shower, I feel like I'm jumping into a swamp. So bottled water is now a necessity.

In other news, I have to work tomorrow :( It is my first time I've ever had to work on a Sunday and I really feel so sad about it. I will be working 8:30-5, but I'll still get to go to church. I guess lots of Disney College Program kids have this problem, so they set up a special meeting time for those that have to work on Sunday during the regular meeting time. Here's how I will get to church tomorrow.

7:08 pm. Get on the A bus from Chatham (where I live) heading towards the Magic Kingdom.

7:47 pm. Get off the bus at the Magic Kingdom. Walk toward a white pavilion that is facing Reams Road.

7:50 pm. Someone will come by and pick me up for church.

8:00 pm. We will have a little mini-meeting where we take the sacrament and hear from a speaker. I feel spiritchally uplifted.

In other news, Jimmy Johns doesn't deliver to us. We are sad.

A Balmy 68* F

Friends, I now live in Disney World. In Orlando, Florida. It was 68*F when I got off the plane in the most beautiful airport I've ever flown into. I took off my jacket and put it in my suitcase. Then I took off my other jacket and put it in my other suitcase. Then I stopped taking off clothes.

I arrived at check-in. Our bus driver, Eric Mullen, dropped us off at the front of the complex, so we had to drag our luggage (2 huge suitcases, a smaller suitcase, a backpack, and a purse for me) all the way to the other end of the housing complex. We got our pictures taken. We got assigned our apartments. They are beautiful! We learned who our roommates were. They were also beautiful! I am living with Christine, Jackie, and a girl from BYU-I named Olivia. She is so fun and we love her already. I will post pictures soon.

I moved into said apartment. I started figuring out the bus system. We stood in line, starving, for six hours, filling out paperwork one person at a time. I bought groceries. I rode in a taxi for the first time (with my roommates). I saw a little green frog. I wore flipflops. I ran on a treadmill for the first time, because I saw a beautiful boy working out in the fitness center right next to my new house. He was gone when I got there, but Jackie still made me run on the treadmill. And I loved it. And I didn't even fall once. And I went 1.8 miles. And I liked it! And I'm going to go back again!

I went to Downtown Disney. I rode in a complimentary water taxi. I didn't see an alligator. I fell in love with a talented musician playing the drums for an electric violinist. I saw where I'm going to work. I hated my costume on sight. I cheered up because I am living in Disney World.

And because I split a Ghirardelli hot fudge sundae with my roommates.

Was your 2010 as Awesome as Mine?

Cuz mine was pretty awesome. Here are some of the awesomest parts of my year.....in chronological order, I think:

1. Going shooting with Uncle Brett! It was my first time shooting a gun and it was very fun. Almost as fun as the photo shoot we had afterwards.

2. My floral design class. I didn't love Winter Semester 2010, but this was one class I did love. I made all sorts of arrangements. Including, I learned how to make boutonnieres and corsages, which I made for Kelly's wedding :)

3. Finals week of winter semester. I had lovely roommates in the winter and we all separated in the summer :( To finish off our semester together, we pulled our mattresses out and had a sleepover, all week long. We got henna tattoos. And made smoothies. And watched movies. And kind of studied.

4. Nannying. I nannied the summer after my freshman year and I got to go back and nanny for the same kids again for about a month this summer. I love Malan and Owen so much, so that was wonderful!

5. Going to Trafalga. Chelsea worked there over the summer so she got me and some other friends in for free! We had a blasty-blast trick-riding on the carousel, racing the go-carts, and riding on all the rides past close.

6. Stadium of Fire. It was my first year going and it was awesome! I love Carrie Underwood and thought she did a fantastic job.

7. Lehi Roundup! Not long after Stadium of Fire I went to my first LEGIT rodeo in Utah. I was not disappointed! I went with my friends Brinley and Alyssa. I love cowboys so obviously I was in heaven.

8. Working. I had two great jobs this year that I absolutely loved. I started working at ColdStone in February and then at the BYU Writing Center in the summer (as an intern). I wasn't exactly thrilled with either job to begin with, but I quickly came to love them. The only pictures I have of Coldstone and the Writing Center are the ones I'm posting here....

At the Writing Center, Kylie and I are showing off our twin fingernails. On the wall behind us, please notice the thankful turkeys that everyone made for Thanksgiving.

At ColdStone, I am saying goodbye to Bruce, who was kind of my husband, because he decided to go to college.

9. Cornbelly's! This year was my first time going to Cornbelly's and I think I was converted. I love love loved it and will definitely be going back next year.

And finally,

10. Being the MOH at Kelly's wedding. I got to be home for Thanksgiving, give a speech, and dress up. Win win win. Not to mention, I think Dahl is the best brother-in-law ever, so all in all, their wedding easily makes this list.

I could put sooo many other things on this list. My birthday, for instance, was one of the best I've ever had. Halloween was amazing, as usual. I loved all the times I got to lay out by the pool just soaking up the sun and eating free hamburgers, and my trip to Texas was an adventure, to say the least. For the first time this summer, I enjoyed camping. I loved going to General Conference in Salt Lake, my trip to Park City to see Shawn White, and going to the Manti Pageant. It was awesome to see Nicole give the speech at her graduation and Sarah get baptized in May.

And the best part is, my life is only going to get awesomer! I am so ready for 2011 and all the awesomeness it promises :)

A Toast to Breasts

My family drank some bubbling cider and made toasts to the New Year. Here were our toasts, in the order they were given:

Mine: A toast to adaptation! (I don't know, it was the first thing that came to mind.)

Joseph: A toast to defenestration!

Jacob: A toast to awesomeness.

Sarah: A toast to.......breasts. (She is eight years old.)

Dad: A toast to good health.

Julie: A to.....

We all clink our glasses together. Julie dropped her head, sad that no one cared about her toast. Everyone quickly pulled their glasses back and asked Julie what her toast was.

Julie: A toast! To.....uh.....a toast to.......family. :)

We all smiled back at her, clinked our glasses together, and drank in the New Year.